by Kate Pearce
“Don’t worry. I don’t expect you to keep lying for me.” She found her jacket and put it on. “I appreciate everything you’ve done, I really mean that.”
She couldn’t tell him she’d changed her mind, that she wanted more now. He wouldn’t believe her. He’d think she was still feeling sorry for him or trying to regain his cooperation to shield her from her family. And to be honest, she deserved it. She’d messed him around, demanded loyalty, and enjoyed his lovemaking without making him any commitments.
“I’m sorry.” She faced him one last time. “I should never have started this because now I’ve hurt you, and that was the last thing I ever wanted.”
He slowly lifted his head to look at her.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I made a choice, Daisy. I agreed with your terms.”
She nodded, her eyes filling with tears. “Okay.” She turned to leave but couldn’t quite make herself go. “If you need someone to talk to, like really talk to, about all this stuff, I’m more than willing to listen. I’d like to think that one day we could be friends.” She surreptitiously swiped at her eyes, using her long hair to shield her face. “Just call me, all right?”
She managed to leave then, her tears finally falling as she blundered her way down the hallway and into the kitchen. It took her a while to figure out how to unlock the back door, but she finally managed it and got into her truck. She was crying so hard at this point, she couldn’t see out of the windshield. She mopped up her tears and sat there taking deep shuddery breaths until she was capable of driving.
She’d come to the ranch to have it out with Jackson—to tell him she had developed real feelings for him—and she’d completely blown it. He didn’t even want her sympathy, so how could she possibly offer him her love?
He’d taught her so much about moving on, about finding someone who liked you just the way you were, and she’d screwed it up, discounted his growing feelings and pushed him away. She swallowed hard and turned the engine on. She’d picked herself up and moved on after Brody had died, and she knew in her soul she’d survive Jackson. The trouble was . . . she wasn’t sure she’d ever feel the same about anyone ever again.
* * *
Jackson stayed where he was until he heard the faint rumble of Daisy’s truck heading down the driveway. He’d stood his ground. And what had that brought him? An empty bed, and the woman he’d come to love apologizing for caring about him, taking all the blame on herself, and still offering to be his friend.
Yeah, he loved her, and it sucked. With a low sound, he buried his face in his hands and muttered, “You absolute and complete fool.”
He’d thought her admitting to messing him around would’ve made him feel victorious, as if he’d somehow won, but instead, he felt even worse, and kind of mean along with it. He’d gone into the relationship with his eyes wide open, and the fact that his feelings had changed and Daisy’s hadn’t was entirely on him.
Not her.
She’d listened to him spill his guts and not condemned him. She’d tried to comfort him, so of course he’d had to open his big mouth and make her pay for that.
He got up from the chair, went into the bathroom, and washed his hands and face. He’d be having the old familiar nightmares as soon as his head hit the pillow. Where was the happy-go-lucky, goofy Jackson Lymond—the persona he’d cultivated since he was a kid, caught in the middle of a violent marriage? This tortured stranger with secrets in his eyes staring back at him was normally well hidden from everyone.
But Daisy had seen the real him and not flinched until he’d made it impossible for her to stay. Was he going to end up like his father? A man who had pushed away affection and love because he was too caught up in being angry? A man who’d taken his drunken frustrations out on his wife and kids until he’d splintered his own family, dividing them even after his death?
Because that was what Mark had done. Sown seeds of trouble between the two brothers, making one responsible for a ranch where he’d been made to feel unwanted and the other gutted by not being allowed to inherit half of what should’ve been his by right of birth. And Jackson had played right into it, refusing to allow Cauy to share the ranch with him because of a misguided chip on his shoulder.
He wiped his face with the towel, stripped down to his boxers, and got into bed. The small indentation where Daisy had sat on the end made his heart ache. She’d come to help him, he’d done everything he could to make her mad, and eventually he’d succeeded in running her off because this time he couldn’t run away himself. But she hadn’t left in a huff. She’d left offering to still be his friend—if he’d let her.
Jackson turned off the lamp beside his bed and lay unblinking in the darkness. Nothing felt right. He tried to convince himself he’d done the best thing for both of them, but it didn’t work. It was like he’d ripped off a Band-Aid too fast and was left with a wound that wasn’t going to heal and might just scar him for life.
Chapter Seventeen
“Who rattled your cage this morning?” Cauy looked up from his coffee at Jackson. “I leave you alone for two days and you’re snapping my head off.”
“I’m good.” Jackson drank some more coffee. “I’m thinking of taking a road trip to find that Mr. Perkins. Did January get back to you about him?”
“She did.” Cauy took out his cell. “I’ll forward you her message. Do you want me to come with you?”
“Nah. Rachel just got back.” Jackson’s cell buzzed as the text came through. “She’d kill me if I took you away from her right now.”
“You going to ask Daisy to go with you?” Cauy asked.
Jackson set down his mug. “We broke up.”
“Well, that explains your bad mood. I’m sorry, bro. What happened?” Cauy looked genuinely concerned.
“Nothing much. She just got sick of me.” Jackson shrugged, like it was no big deal. “She’s way too smart to hang around with someone like me.”
“She’s never struck me as someone who cares about that kind of crap.” Cauy kept studying Jackson. “Are you sure this isn’t fixable? You guys do like to argue.”
“It’s not fixable, so can you just shut the hell up?” Jackson poured more coffee.
“Okay, there’s no need to get all defensive. If you want to talk things through—”
“I don’t.” Jackson chugged the coffee in one and got to his feet, wiping his mouth. “I’ll check on the horses. Are you okay if I leave this afternoon?”
Cauy leaned back in his chair. “Sure. Don’t forget to take the coins with you.”
“They’re in the bank in town, right?” Jackson asked. “Do I need your permission to get them out of the safe?”
“I’ll call the bank manager to make sure everything’s good for you to take them,” Cauy assured him. “We’re named as co-owners of the safety deposit box. Remember, half the value is yours to keep.”
“And half is yours, gotcha.” Jackson made sure he had the necessary documentation to get into the vault. “Although I have no idea whether it’s even worth pursuing. Dad wasn’t known for his financial acumen.”
“He always collected coins and, hey, if it gets you away for a few days while you’re pining over Daisy, I’m all for it.”
“Cool, thanks.” Jackson nodded at his brother and went toward the mudroom to put on his work boots. “I’ll check in with you later.”
“You do that.”
“Hi, Jackson!” Rachel, who was just coming out of Cauy’s bedroom, paused in the hallway to smile at him. She wore one of Cauy’s old T-shirts and a pair of his boxers and still managed to look beautiful. “How are things?”
“Great.” Jackson smiled back. “I’ll see you around.” He knew Cauy would tell Rachel about Daisy, but he hoped to be well clear of the house before she could ask him what was going on. He wasn’t ready to talk about it while his head and heart felt like they were being crushed in a vat of misery.
After he finished with the horses, he took a quick shower, pu
t on his going-to-town jeans and boots, and drove out in his truck. The fields were a regimented, sun-dried yellow now, and the creeks were starting to dry up. The endless skies were clear blue until they hazed up over the still snowy Sierras. Jackson took some deep breaths. He loved it out here. It sang to his soul.
He’d checked out the details on Mr. Perkins and found he lived in the Bay Area. His plan was to drive there, taking his time, and call the guy when he was practically on his doorstep. January seemed to think he’d welcome the company, and Jackson hoped she was right. The journey would give him a chance to get his head on straight. If he wanted to stay in Morgan Valley, he’d have to find a way to get along with the Millers.
There was no parking directly behind the bank, so he found a space behind the new health center. Four of the shops hadn’t been rented yet, which meant there was always plenty of room. He decided to walk along Main Street to Maureen’s general store to stock up for the journey and work his way back to the bank.
It was coming up to lunchtime, and after a morning cleaning out stalls, he was already hungry. He hesitated outside the health center, looking up and down the street. He’d have to get gas for his truck at Ted Baker’s. Yvonne had the best food, but she was also a great friend of Daisy’s, and he didn’t want to bump into her just yet.
But Maureen’s was quite close to the flower shop, and Nancy occasionally helped her mother out there. Jackson groaned. Wherever he went in this town, he was toast, so he’d better get used to it.
He set off toward the general store, his Stetson rammed low over his eyes, and reached the door safely before anyone called out to him. Letting out a relieved breath, he went inside and naturally ran straight into Nancy, Auntie Rae, and Daisy.
“Hey.” Jackson tipped his hat and focused on Rae, who was smiling at him. “How’s it going?”
“Great, thanks!” Rae stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “I’m just about to take Maureen and Daisy out to lunch while Nancy minds the store. Would you like to come with us?”
“Thanks for the offer, ma’am, but I’ve got an appointment at the bank in twenty minutes that I can’t miss. I just came in to get some supplies.”
“Oh, that’s a shame, isn’t it, Daisy?” Rae exclaimed.
“Yes.”
He couldn’t even look at Daisy for more than a second, it hurt too much. He turned and grabbed a wire basket. “Nice to see you all. Have a great day.”
Maureen appeared, and the three of them went out, leaving him alone with Nancy. For once, he prayed a busload of foreign tourists would suddenly descend on the store and keep her busy.
“You okay, Jackson?” Nancy asked as he brought his provisions up to the counter.
“I’m good, thanks.”
“Jay was worried about you after what happened in the bar.” Nancy gave him a paper bag, and he placed his purchases in it at top speed.
“Yeah, sorry about that. I don’t often lose my temper.” Jackson swiped his debit card. Perhaps Daisy hadn’t had a chance to rat him out to her best friends yet, because he was fairly certain he’d be hearing about it right now if she had.
Nancy snorted. “That idiot deserved everything he got.”
“I still lost it.” Jackson dropped the receipt in the bag. “It wasn’t cool.”
“I dunno.” Nancy studied him speculatively. “I kind of felt like it was good to see you stop being so nice to everyone, you know?”
“And turn into an angry drunk like my father?” Jackson managed a smile. “I don’t want to be like him. I’ll stick with being nice.”
“Daisy was worried about you, too.”
“She’s a very caring person.” Jackson hoisted his bag off the counter. “I’ve got to go put this stuff in the truck before it melts. It was good talking to you.”
“Not so fast.” Nancy came around the checkout, cutting him off from the door. “Where are you going?”
“I told you, I’m going to the bank.”
“And after that?” She pointed at the bag. “I’m a professional, Jackson. I know when someone’s buying stuff for a road trip and not making dinner back at the ranch.”
Jackson considered his options, but running over his ex-fake-girlfriend’s best friend didn’t seem right, so he attempted a version of the truth. “I’m going to be out of town for the next day or two.”
“Okay.” Nancy nodded. “Which explains why Daisy was giving you attitude.”
“Yeah, exactly.” Jackson agreed with her and almost sang with relief when she stepped out of his way. “Have a great day, Nancy.”
Knowing she was watching him from the door, he forced himself not to run toward the parking lot and the bank. She’d probably mention his trip to Daisy, which would cheer Daisy up immensely.
He walked along the wooden boardwalk and imagined how he’d sound if he had his work boots and spurs on. Morgantown still had the look of a town where the local sheriff and his posse could come around the corner, tie up their horses, and swagger into the nearest saloon for an old-fashioned shoot-out.
He loved this place and didn’t want to leave. The realization that it was time to stop running hit him anew. But could he make a life for himself here when he’d be falling over Daisy every five minutes knowing he’d lost her—not that he’d ever had her in the first place? For the first time in his life, his heart was being broken in two.
Perhaps after he got a valuation on the coins his dad had collected, he’d have some idea where he stood financially. He wasn’t expecting much, but they had to be worth something, and at least it would give him some capital.
Jackson reached the bank and paused for a second before he went inside. If he wanted to stay here, he’d have to speak to Daisy again to make sure they could live with each other. The fact that even the idea of speaking to her brightened his mood was an indicator of how far he had to go to view her as just a friend.
He wished he could drown his stupid hopes, but that wasn’t going to happen for a while. Daisy had settled herself in his heart, and he wasn’t willing to give up on her yet. Maybe, just maybe, he could find a way out of the terrible mess he’d gotten himself into. With that in mind, Jackson went into the bank and asked to speak to the manager.
* * *
“Jackson was very quiet,” Rae said as she, Daisy, and Maureen settled into their seats at Yvonne’s.
“I think he had a lot on his mind.” Daisy considered what the heck she was going to say next, but luckily, Rae carried on talking.
“I was going to ask him to dinner tomorrow night and I completely forgot!”
“I can text him to ask him if you like?” Daisy suggested. He might not choose to reply to her, but that just meant she could make up an excuse that would satisfy her aunt.
“Sure! Why don’t you do that? You can let me know what he said when you come home tonight.” Rae picked up the menu and studied it.
Daisy already knew what she was going to eat. Being miserable meant something with fries, followed by something with sugar, and she sure was miserable right now.
Seeing Jackson angry, and seeing him afraid hadn’t changed her opinion of him. In fact, she liked finding out what lay beneath that great charm, handsome face, and positive attitude. But did he like her knowing that? From his reaction, she guessed not.
Lizzie came up, and they all ordered their food and drinks. Maureen and Rae chatted about their dinner plans with Bella Williams, Jay’s mom. Daisy allowed herself to wander off into dream scenarios, where she got a redo on her last conversation with Jackson and everything turned out fine.
“So, I called Leanne,” Rae said casually. Daisy sat up and took notice.
“Leanne Miller?” Maureen asked. “Good Lord, we haven’t seen her for over twenty years, have we, Rae?”
“She wants to come back to see Jeff and the kids,” Rae told Maureen. “She wants ‘closure.’” Rae did the bunny ears thing.
Maureen snorted. “Which is a funny way of saying she wants to stir up a wasps’ nest of t
rouble.”
“She didn’t sound like that was her aim, but you never know,” Rae agreed. “Jeff is happy for her to come, so she says she’ll book a room at the Hayes Hotel and be here in the fall.”
“Why so far out?” Daisy asked. “That means we’re going to sit around worrying all summer.”
“I wouldn’t worry, dear.” Rae patted her hand. “I don’t think she wishes any harm.”
“Then why come back at all?” Daisy grumbled. “She was happy enough to walk away all those years ago and leave us to manage by ourselves.”
Maureen and Rae exchanged a long glance that Daisy caught. “What?”
“Your dad . . .” Maureen paused. “Didn’t make things easy for her, Daisy.”
“She’s the one who left.” Daisy adored her father and wasn’t okay with Maureen’s tentative suggestion. “Maybe she should’ve had it out with him and stuck around.”
“Jeff is a very stubborn man.” Rae sighed. “And Leanne did try. I’m surprised you don’t remember all the arguing that went on before she finally left.”
“I’ve probably blocked it out.” Daisy sipped her iced tea. “I only remember when you arrived and made everything better.”
Rae squeezed her hand. “It was my pleasure.”
Lizzie and Yvonne arrived with their food, and they all set to eating. Daisy had time to wonder why Jackson was visiting the bank. He’d looked pretty serious, but that might have been because he hadn’t intended to bump into her twelve hours after their fight. Was he looking for a loan to buy land in Morgan Valley, or was he taking his money elsewhere? She knew he loved the place. How hard would it be if he stayed and she had to see him every day, watch him settle in, find a wife, start a family . . .
Too hard.
Maybe she’d be the one who had to move away.
After their meal, Daisy accompanied her aunt back to Maureen’s to pick up the bags of shopping Rae had stowed in Maureen’s apartment behind the store. Daisy lingered at the cash register while Nancy helped a bunch of Japanese tourists, who seemed impressed by her command of their language.
Eventually, Nancy waved them off with a last immaculate bow and turned to Daisy.
