"I'll do it for you, Beth," I offered.
Reluctantly, she agreed and found a seat at the breakfast table at the edge of the kitchen. I made her tea the way she liked it—with a cup of cream, and two scoops of sugar. I had mine black.
"There are wafers in the cupboard," She said as I placed the tea in front of her.
I retrieved them and settled into the seat opposite her.
"How have you been?" I asked.
I had been thinking it over since I brought Ignimitra the berries. It seemed like the most neutral way to broach the topic. It was obvious that something was happening with Betheka. If I could get her to tell me was a completely different thing.
Betheka tittered, dipping a cookie in her tea. Her hands quivered more than I remembered.
"I'm still alive and kicking," she quipped, giving me a toothy smile. "The gods won't have me so easily."
I took a sip of my tea, thinking it over.
The last time I had seen her...was more than a month ago. A little before we had gone on the mission that changed my life. Betheka had lost so much of her strength since then. The realization that she was wilting before my eyes made me think of Hakan. It had been even longer since I had seen him. What was his health like? I needed to write him so he could send me a picture. Maybe I could visit him soon.
"Are you sick?" I chanced. There was no going around it.
She sighed, lowering her eyes to the cup of tea. Gritting my teeth, I braced for the worst. Nothing good ever started with a sigh like that.
"I have been sick, my child." Her voice was nearly lost in the steam rising from her cup. "When we first met, I had recently gotten the diagnosis. It's a disease of my blood."
My hands shook when I tried to take a sip of my tea. I forced a piping hot mouthful down my throat, distracting myself with the pain.
"It’s progressing quickly,” I commented. Not knowing how to ask what I really wanted to.
She smiled, catching me off guard. How could she be smiling in the middle of something like this? “Quicker than I expected. I have a couple months or a couple years before it takes me completely. It’s anybody’s guess.”
My throat grew tighter with each passing moment. I couldn't bear to think about it.
I felt her hand on mine. Her palms were soft despite the shriveling skin.
"Don't feel sad for me. I've lived a full life," She threw her head back in laughter, seeming genuinely delighted. "And I'm still here!"
My lips formed a smile that didn't reach my heart. There was loss in every crevice of my life. Her reassurance did little to quell that.
"How have you been?" She pointed to my new uniform. "You look so much like your father in these clothes. They fit you well."
I shrugged, feeling my cheeks get hot.
"Things have been..." I tried to think of the right word, the right sentence. Nothing would suffice. Betheka looked at me with knowing eyes.
"I wondered how long it would take you come see me."
I quirked an eyebrow.
"I heard about it all, child. Your bravery in Astraphotis. Your promotion," She sighed, taking a sip of tea. "None of it sounded easy."
Her words were a salve, one I realized that I had been longing for ever since we made it back to Pyralis. Just an acknowledgement of how difficult everything was. It didn’t make me weak to want that. Why hadn't I come to see her sooner?
I nodded slowly. "It wasn't—it isn't. It feels like I'm drowning every day."
Betheka gave me a perceptive smile, the corners of her eyes crinkling. Even her thick eyelashes were graying. I didn’t remember that from last time.
"But you will swim, you must," she urged. "You're stronger than you know."
My heart hummed an unsteady tune in my ears.
"I can barely sleep, Beth. And I lost Avek. Solra and Irikai—"
She cut me off with a frail hand in the air. "Do you believe that you're doing the right thing for you and Ignimitra?"
"Yes," I answered with hesitation. "The headmaster is playing a game, we're both certain of that. I had to make this choice." It was the only way to win.
Betheka regarded me with pensive eyes, her eyelids heavy. She released a heaving sigh.
"You know more than you let on," her lips twisted into a wry smile.
I pushed my tea aside to lean closer to her. She was about to say something important. Beth always smiled like that when she did.
"The headmaster has already made plans to replace me with a new alchemist," she spat the words. "I fear for what the Dragon Guard will become when he gets that wish." Her eyes were focused beyond me. "I was the last thing standing in Vulcan's way, the last piece of the old Guard that he needed to get rid of."
Bile rose in my throat.
"...Get rid of?" It felt like confirmation to my theories that implicated him in my father’s death. Was she saying what I thought she was?
She nodded solemnly. "There is more to all of this than you know, my child. But I will tell you as much of it as I can. It'll be my parting gift to you."
I didn't like the way her words made me feel, but I hid it behind a waterfall of cold tea.
ARE YOU READY TO TALK about what Betheka said?
I pulled my legs up into my chest, squinting my eyes at the golden sun dipping below the horizon. Ignimitra was curled into herself behind me, and I could feel her staring a hole into the back of my head.
She's dying.
Ever since leaving Betheka's cottage, I had been thinking of ways to break the news to Ignimitra—as quietly as I could so she wouldn't be able to hear my thoughts. Death was something I was familiar with. But Ignimitra had never lost anyone close to her.
I hated to be the bearer of bad news.
Dying? Alarm tinged her voice. I nodded, working my lips with my teeth.
She has a disease in her blood. I felt oddly detached from the situation.
Can't she heal herself? She's an alchemist, I'm sure—
No, she can't. Humans are frail, angel. There’s only so much alchemy can help us with.
Ignimitra scoffed at my words, and I didn’t have to look at her to know that she was angry at my response. I was angry when I learned of my father’s death too. And I was still angry.
I don't like how this feels. Her low voice seeped into my thoughts like sap from cracked bark. I feel...ill. Sick, even. Like I've eaten something bad.
Her words tugged at me. I leaned back, resting against her huge body. With gentle fingers, I stroked her softly and thought of calming things.
You're sad for her, angel. You're sad that she's going to die. That’s what it feels like.
I've been sad before, it didn't feel this way.
It hurts much worse when there is nothing you can do about it.
Is this how you feel about Avek?
My hand stilled.
Sort of... I felt my eyes burning. For Betheka or Avek, I wasn’t sure. It feels a little worse, actually.
Ignimitra stayed silent, thankfully. It didn't feel like the best moment to dredge up those feelings. I had already lost so much—my mother and father eight years ago, Avek a few weeks ago, and now I was on the verge of losing Betheka.
The detachment I felt was better than wallowing in the waterfall of feelings. I intended to keep it that way for as long as possible. It was the only way I could stay sane.
We're going to visit her more often, I said to Ignimitra when the silence had become deafening. Only a few tendrils of light remained in the sky, and around us the crickets and beetles were coming to life.
I’ll look forward to that. I could feel her melancholy thoughts. For a creature that lived centuries, human mortality must have been hard to understand. With a hand on her head, I tried to send calming energy her way.
We fell back into silence, a more comfortable one.
Despite our foul moods, I relished Ignimitra's company. Thanks to our Fusion Bond, our closeness had superseded just friendship. Most times it felt like we were on
e, equal parts of the same whole, moving, thinking and acting in unison—at least, when she wasn't being headstrong.
She snorted, a thick plume of ash enveloping us. My eyes snapped to hers.
Perhaps I wasn't thinking as quietly as I thought.
You have to admit that you're hard to deal with, I teased. A small smile crept to my lips then.
Ignimitra ignored me, shaking the sedation from her eyes. She extended her scaly neck, looking out towards the horizon. Her mood had shifted, a strong anxiety radiated from her now, permeating my consciousness.
What troubles you?
I looked in the same direction, but there was nothing but darkness covering the city. The twinkling lights of the houses and streetlights lent little illumination, for the night was moonless.
It can't be...
My skin was beginning to itch now. Being out of the loop didn’t sit well with me. I reached for the hilt of my sword sheathed in its scabbard nearby. Was it an attack?
What’s happening Ignimitra?
As if my words shook her from a trance, she turned to me apologetically.
I forget that you can't see as well as I do. Try now.
I felt a surge of power course through my head, culminating in a dull ache at the back of my eyes. Ignimitra had only lent me her power a handful of times since we used our bond to escape from the Astraphotians—always in pieces, some strength here, some fire-retardation there. It was an uncomfortable feeling, but the pain lessened each time.
Suddenly, my vision was crisp and the world was bathed in sepia. I could make out the faces of the soldiers ambling through the streets of the Administrative District and pinpoint the clearings where we had trained this morning at the base of the mountain. It was spectacular—I'd known Ignimitra's vision was impressive, but to experience it sent a tingle through my fingertips.
Look to your left.
I obeyed. But despite the enhanced vision, I struggled to comprehend what I was seeing.
There were figures—dragons, that I was sure of—flying towards the mountain. Their formation stood out as strange. Among them was a squash-colored Giantwing, the biggest breed of Fire Dragon. Usually Giantwings were assigned the most vulnerable position, since it was never wise to attack a dragon that huge. In this formation, the Giantwing was protected by the smaller dragons.
As they got closer, the reason became apparent—the Giantwing had something strapped to his back. A dragon.
Don't you recognize him?
I looked closer, squinting just a little.
The dragon was the color of faded seaweed, and despite the bruises and scars all over its body I could make out the distinctive spikes that ran all the way from its head to the tip of its tail. My breath caught.
Is that...Nurik?
His name reverberated in my mind uncomfortably then sank into my stomach, riling up an uneasiness that felt like someone was tickling the back of my neck with needles.
Ignimitra grunted a response. Frantically, I searched the saddles of the other dragons.
They flew in a tight double-V formation, their wing beats labored from the journey. One by one, I put aside each rider I saw. None of them had the face I needed to see.
I found him on the dragon behind the Giantwing, on a sinewy Suneye that didn't look like it should have been carrying two people. Avek was hung limply over the saddle, barely sitting up. Every inch of exposed skin was bandaged—I recognized him by his hair. He was strapped to the Suneye's tamer.
"Avek..." his name left my lips in a breathy whisper.
My hands snapped to my eyes, covering them. They burned, but not from Ignimitra's power. Wetness pooled in my palms.
Take it back, I don't want to see anymore.
Her confusion flooded over me, but she did as I asked. The electricity receded, leaving just a dull ache in my eyeballs. When I looked up at the sky again, I could only see the faint shadows of the dragons through my swimming vision.
None of this made sense.
I should have felt happy—I had been pining away for weeks, holding my sleepless vigils for Avek almost every night. But now, the only thing I could feel was a sense of foreboding that made me want to wretch my dinner.
Your face is pale.
My eyes snapped to Ignimitra. She wore an expression I couldn't read.
I'm just...surprised, that's all.
Avek looked like he was hanging on by a thread. He didn't even seem conscious. Where had they found him? How had he managed to survive? Even though they had brought him back would he survive? My throat felt raw and dry, my eyes heavy. Coldness swam through my veins.
You're afraid...?
I nodded sharply, looking down at my trembling fingers.
What if he's angry at me after all this time? What if he's on the verge of death? What if Nurik dies? What if he...
My cheeks grew damp as the tears streamed from my eyes. I couldn’t even bring myself to finish my sentence. No matter how many breaths I took, my heart refused to slow down.
Ignimitra's hot skin was on my face almost immediately, pressing her huge head against mine. I reached up to stroke the familiar smooth skin, relishing the comfort of her. My tears spilled onto her scales.
You'll never know if you don't go. She sounded wiser than I expected for a creature less than a year-old. And I think you should. From what I remember, he could never stay mad at you. Her forked tongue was cool on my forehead. Regardless of what happens, you'll be happy you went.
How can you be sure?
Knowing is always better than not knowing. That seems like a basic fact of life.
Her words struck a nerve. It was better to know. It was the only way to dispel the thrumming uncertainty that had hung over me following his disappearance. This was something that I needed to do.
I'll visit him.
Chapter 4
The sun had risen on an insanely hot day.
Humidity was thick in the air, and I should have been sweating bullets in my leather uniform. But my skin was frosty, nervous energy skittering about in my limbs. Sleep did not come after Ignimitra and I witnessed Avek and Nurik's return to the mountain.
It was just a few minutes after dawn. The streets of the Administrative District were slowly coming alive—soldiers streamed passed me on their way towards breakfast. Some casting me sneers and ghoulish glances, others ignoring me entirely. One bumped me so hard I almost fell face-first into the cobbled stone walkway.
I was heading away from the mess hall.
The tale of Avek's disappearance had been a much-discussed topic, and from the bits and pieces I had gleaned from eavesdropping or from Jules, he was well-liked. It was only a matter of time before the news spread that he and Nurik had been recovered. If I didn't go to see him now, it would be a few weeks before I would be able to again. They would crowd the ward.
At least, that's what I had been telling myself.
My path led me off the main pathway and through a narrow walkway. I passed houses and fields, and even a tavern that was already open at this hour, serving a lone soldier a huge glass of ale.
What I remembered of the Infirmary didn’t make me eager to visit. It was where Solra, Irikai and I had recovered for a few days after returning from the mission.
The last night I had spent there was by far the worst. My body had healed enough that the pain from my injuries weren't as distracting. I had gotten enough rest that I didn't feel weary anymore. That night was when my nightmares began. By the time the building came into view, my heart flitted about in my chest like a hummingbird's wings.
The Infirmary was a three-storied cut stone building. It was set on a small incline, with flowering vines climbing up its walls. It looked older than everything else in the Administrative District, despite the fact that it was one of the biggest and most important buildings. Little had been done on the outside to keep it modern. Stained glass windows lined each floor, some rooms had balconies—it was behind one of those windows that Avek lay.
My throat felt like I had swallowed a rosebush.
Dragons had their own “infirmary” for serious injuries, a hollowed-out side of the mountain, filled with man-made caverns. They often needed less attention than us humans, so they were often attended to by nurses with occasional visits from the alchemist. I’d have to swing by to see how Nurik was doing after this.
I climbed the steps to the entrance of the building slowly. My legs felt like jelly. Entering the hall made me ready to pass out.
The main hallway had high ceilings and floors polished so bright that they shone, even in the wan sunlight streaming through the windows. The air was thick with the smell of potions and tinctures, and an odd flowery smell that was supposed to be calming. In the center of the hall, a nurse stood behind a huge wooden desk. She was dressed in silver, with a hat and gloves of the same color.
The eyes of other nurses on their way to their duties were on me as I approached her. Did I seem out of place?
"How may I help you?" Her voice was cheery for this early in the morning. She looked young, maybe mid-twenties. It dawned on me that I had no idea how people became nurses, let alone a nurse here.
"I'm here to see someone..." I cleared my throat, surprised by how tiny my voice sounded. "A soldier. Captain Larsgard."
Her eyebrows quirked up at the sound of his name.
"Oh...Larsgard," She turned her attention to the yellowing book in front her, skimming the pages. "I don't see a patient here by that name."
It was obvious she recognized him. A flicker of fury ignited in my stomach, burning through my nervousness. What reason did she have to lie?
"I know he's here," I said firmly, dropping my voice so it didn't carry. "I saw the convoy. We can do this quietly, or I can make a scene and find him myself."
A tense moment passed between us. I hoped she could see the fire in my eyes.
After what felt like forever, she relented.
"He's on the third floor, west wing. Room 3010," She looked back down at her book. "What's your name, soldier?"
"Kaos. Captain Kaos Kressin."
Dragon Guard Page 3
