by Nel Franks
We sat in stunned silence, staring open mouthed.
‘Goddess, Rosie! What made you think of that?’ ‘Rosie, aren’t you far too young?’ Gaia and I exclaimed together
Rosie stamped her foot. ‘Oh, I knew you’d say that! I’m not too young; at least, not too young to be thinking about it,’
Gaia swallowed, and nodded. ‘Yes, alright, of course you can be thinking about it. But why?’
‘And why now?’ I added.
She talked about how much she loved the little babies in the Children’s Rooms, and about wanting to have one of her own.
‘But Rosie, have you thought about what it means to Serve in the Temple?’ Gaia asked cautiously.
‘And would they take you, at our age?’ I was curious.
‘I don’t know,’ Rosie confessed. ‘I just know I want to have my own baby, and soon—not years away.’
Year One Winter Ceremony
Tomma, Winter, Year One, Initiates
ROSIE DIDN’T MENTION wanting to Serve in the Temple again; I think our shocked reactions silenced her. Throughout autumn, our lives went on as usual. We worked in our Houses, had foundation learning, and shared Perimeter Squad training. We all participated in the thanksgiving for the harvest in the Temple, held on the autumn equinox. And in between it all, whenever I had a day off, I would go for a walk on my own, to see if the boy was waiting on his hill on the other side of the Wall. It didn’t happen often, but the newness of it, the friendship we were building, and the thrill I felt talking to him made it my most precious time. But as the weather got colder, I saw less of him, as our respective sheep were out grazing less and less.
As winter approached, we began training for the next big ceremony. I knew nothing about Winter Ceremony, except that acolytes had to attend. Because we were never allowed to attend as children, we’d never been told anything about it. Teaching for it began when the Chief Mistress of the Temple summoned all the Initiate Acolytes to the small Reverencing Hall. I sighed as we entered, relaxed by golden light of the candles playing on the warmth of the wood panelling.
‘Winter Ceremony is one of the ways we ensure the continuity of the Enclaves,’ she said, looking around the group. ‘Like Summer Festival, it is a ceremony we share with the Male Enclave, and like Festival, it also concerns fertility. But this is a ceremony only for adults.
‘It is much more serious than the sociability and fun of the Summer Festival. Each level of Acolytes is involved, in different ways. Your role as Initiates is to be witnesses, and we’ll tell you more about what’s expected of you in a minute. At the next level, during your three years in Novices, you will act as assistants for the young women in Apprentices who are going to participate. In the ceremony, the participating Apprentices are known as the Hinds. When you are in Apprentices, you will decide if, and then when, to be one of the Hinds. By that stage you will understand a lot more about what Winter Ceremony means to us, and you will be prepared. But for now, your role begins by instruction and by witnessing.’
I looked at the others, wanting to share my surprise at how solemn it all seemed. But Rosie looked really ill and was pressing her hands into her belly. She didn’t look my way. Gaia was standing really close to her.
Over the next two months, we had classes about procreation and embryology, and were informed that in later years we would learn about child development and rearing. But I couldn’t pick up much about how the ceremony was conducted. All we were told was that our role was to watch and learn.
AFTER ALL THE LEAVES had dropped and the snow was sticking, Winter Ceremony began late on mid-winter’s night. The night was so cold, so clear and frosty under the full moon, it made our noses burn. As we had rehearsed, all three years of Initiate Acolytes walked down to the Gate in pairs carrying flaming torches again. I reflected that I must at least be stronger and fitter as my arm didn’t ache nearly so quickly as it had at Summer Festival. We were dressed in our thick winter robes this time, with our hoods up, and a couple of the older acolytes had suggested we should wear long underwear if we had some, to keep warm. Rosie and Gaia walked together, and I was beside Marien. Behind us came the Council of Mistresses, followed by the Protectors. No other women of the Enclave accompanied us. As we moved down the slight hill, Initiate pairs separated off from the procession to stand along the road edges. We were spaced out really far apart from the next pair, so the whole road had torches from the Core to the Gate. The road was eerily striped in bands of light and dark. It wasn’t just the cold that made me shiver.
I was standing relatively close to the Gate, wondering if I would see the boy tonight, when the men gave three booming knocks on the Gate and requested entrance. The Protectors opened the enormous Gate and the Most Elder Sister and the Council of Chief Mistresses greeted the men. But this time, on the other side, there was only a small group of older men, their Senior Council, some of whom I recognised from Summer Festival. They were wearing their rich darkly coloured robes and were bareheaded, their silver hair gleaming in the torch light. By reflex, I scanned the group for the boy’s face, even though I knew he would not be present. It made me realise how deeply I wanted him to be here whenever men arrived.
There was one man, in the centre of the group, who looked very strange. He was wearing a full-length pale brown cloak made of deerskin, with a deep hood pulled forward over his face, and he kept his head down. The hood was an unusual style I had never seen before, with two peaks above his forehead.
As the small group of men and the Council of Chief Mistresses passed up the road between the flaming torches, each pair of acolytes fell in behind them, and soon a serpent of fire wound its way back up the road to the Temple. When we went in through the narrow entrance portico, the great carved Temple doors were fully open, for the solemn occasion. The long line of senior women, men, and acolytes bearing torches wound inside the black cavernous opening.
It was nearly dark inside the Temple compared to the blaze of light we’d had at Summer Festival. The women and girls who were attending the Ceremony were drawn back towards the edges of the vast chamber, and the area between the arcs of the pillars around the Fount of Life was empty. I knew all the acolytes would be present, but there were only about half of the members of the Female Enclave present. We passed between the columns, and Temple sisters pointed where to lay our torches on a long, curved stack of timber in front of the Shrine. As each torch was added, the fire got larger. Then we had to go all the way to the walls and stand in the dark. The Councils of senior men and women made their way around the fire to stand in front of the Shrine. The Protectors spread out around the chamber, standing in front of the witnessing women.
Soon the wood was burning fiercely, lighting up the Shrine, but leaving the back and sides of the chamber in darkness. I had got so cold outside I was really glad Rosie, Gaia and I managed to find a position close to the heat. How all the dignitaries in their heavy robes could stand being so close to the fire, I didn’t know. From our side, they were almost obscured by the flames. They began to add logs of green wood that gave off heavy smoke and steam, and a spicy scent. I could smell pine, and cedar and fruit tree woods. A thick billowing cloud spread throughout the Temple.
The Hinds, all members of the Apprentice Acolytes, gathered on the open side of the flaming wall of wood. They wore only light loose dresses, and were barefoot, with their hair unbound. Many of them were shivering on the spot, but whether from excitement, or from cold feet on the freezing stone floor, I couldn’t tell.
The Most Elder Sister motioned the Hinds forward and they moved to stand in a curve facing the fire and the Shrine behind it. At the centre of the space between the fiery crescent and the Hinds, the cloaked man stood alone. As the combined councils began to intone the first prayer, he shrugged off the cape. Strapped to his forehead were short curved branching horns, which poked up through his long dark curly hair. He seemed quite young, and tall and thin. But he must work at something physical, I thought, looking at his well-muscl
ed shoulders. He was wearing a buckskin tunic, and trousers that were torn off below his knees, and his feet were bare. We had been taught that the man standing between the crescent of fire and the crescent of women represented the Male Essence contained within the Labia of the Goddess. This was as far into detail as our instruction into the Ceremony had gone. I wasn’t sure what would happen next.
There were long prayers and exhortations that we couldn’t hear over the crackle of the fire. Eventually the Most Elder Sister walked around the end of the smoking wall of wood, carrying a great golden chalice decorated with large jewels that gleamed in the firelight. She stood facing the young man in the centre. The Council of Chief Mistresses followed behind her and spread out into an arc, facing the participants. Each of them held a small metal cup in front of her face.
The Most Elder Sister’s voice rang out above the crackle of the flames. ‘It is time for the Stag, the young man who represents the Male Essence, to choose from the Hinds the young woman who will represent the Female Essence. Their union represents and blesses the fruitfulness of our people and our fields, folds, pastures, orchards and gardens.’
She moved towards the young man and lifted up the chalice. He took it in both hands, raised it high above his head, and I heard a deep sigh run through the watching women. He dropped his head back and tipped the full contents into his mouth. It must have been bitter because his mouth twisted, and he shuddered as he swallowed. Then the Chief Mistresses stepped forward and offered each of the Apprentices a small goblet. The Hinds who drank also grimaced as they swallowed, so maybe it had the same stuff in it. There was a girl who refused to drink near where we were standing, and I heard the Chief Mistress say,
‘You may join the witnesses. Many begin the process and then choose to wait until they are sure. You can take this step with your sisters in another year if you wish.’
The girl was shivering, and she gave a quick grateful smile, and stepped back into the shadows. One of the older women behind us shared her cloak with her.
As I turned back to watch the Ceremony, the young man was standing with his eyes closed, swaying slightly. Some of the girls were also rubbing their eyes or the backs of their heads or stretching their necks a little. I gasped as the young man suddenly groaned and sagged to his knees. The Chief Mistresses began to chant, a slow rhythmic sound that rose and fell over a long time. He slumped till the branched horns on his head touched the stone floor. I was scared: what had been in the drink he had taken? What had made him fall down, or was he just supposed to do that? They hadn’t told us enough in our training. I grabbed Rosie’s hand, and discovered she too was shaking, and her palm was sweaty.
The Hinds began to cluster into groups, whispering and watching the kneeling Stag. They also seemed to be affected by the drink they had been given, shaking their heads a bit, or rubbing their foreheads. And they were becoming restless.
The chant began to increase in speed. One deep drum and then several sharp toned ones began to keep pace. And then a, weird noise began, a deep breathy instrument I had never heard before, with a winding haunting sound, almost making a melody but also with a droning rhythm. It made goosebumps creep up the back of my neck. The wreathing smoke, and the strange thrumming sound, and the restless waiting women were a bit like a dream, or maybe the beginnings of a nightmare.
With a shout, the young man jumped up. There was sweat pouring down his face, and he pulled his tunic off. I gasped as I saw his chest and belly were streaked with red, but I couldn’t tell whether it was paint or blood. He began to leap from foot to foot, and the young women closest to him began to call and chant in time with his steps, leaning forward and beckoning him. Without warning, he lunged towards the nearest group and they ran away squealing, dodging in and out of the pillars. The chant became louder and faster, and the smoke was fanned by the Councils so that it billowed and flowed. The young man rushed from group to group, and they leapt away from him, pushing past each other, shrieking and laughing over their shoulders.
As the Temple filled with smoke and the fire burned down, it became harder and harder to see what was happening. We could hear screeches and calls from across the huge chamber, but we couldn’t see more than a few paces around us. I was panting, excited and anxious to know what was happening.
Around me the witnesses started to clap in time with the pounding drums, a complicated and compelling rhythm. The young man disappeared in the smoke and then reappeared, running. His trousers had gone, and he wore only the horns, gleaming dully in the ember light. He rushed and lunged. Near where we stood, he caught a Hind’s dress. She shrieked, and we screamed with her. She wrenched free, and the delicate fabric of her dress tore around her. She ran behind her sisters, as the young man, his eyes bloodshot, pulled the cloth to his face and inhaled deeply. With a cry, he spun around and flung himself across the Temple. More and more often he came close to the running women, catching their robes, until many of them were as naked as he, leaping in the flickering light.
Through the darkness we could hear the panting of the Hinds as they ran in and out of the shadows and the pillars. I could just pick out the Protectors herding the young man away from the witnesses a little further away, and then the chase disappeared again. Occasional screams or yells rang across the temple. I was scared, and excited, the fumes catching in my throat.
The Stag leapt out of the smoke on top of us, naked and aroused. Sweat was streaming down his body. He grabbed Rosie, who screeched, her voice scratchy and broken. She struggled, but he pulled her up against his body and wrapped his arms around her, pounding his erection against her again and again. She was writhing and screaming, trying to push away from him. The Protectors grabbed his arms, pulling him away from Rosie, and Gaia snatched her back behind us. Rosie was wailing, shaking, and shrank away from him, staring horrified at his penis.
Gaia and one of the Protectors huddled round Rosie, who sank down onto the floor, sobbing. I watched her, feeling very concerned. But after a long time, when she hadn’t calmed down, I became a tiny bit irritated that she was making such a fuss. She would end up ruining the ceremony, drawing all the attention to herself. The rest of the Protectors had turned the young man, urging him back out into the body of the Temple, and I followed his progress. Groups of the Hinds had gathered, staring in our direction. He ran after them, wild eyed and panting, and they all squealed and slithered into the smoke, luring him in many directions. The witnesses around me began to yell and scream again, urging him on.
The light of the blaze was dying down, and the Hinds and the Stag hunted each other through the deepening shadows. Some of the young women were teasing him, appearing close out of the smoke and then vanishing as he charged. I was screaming with the rest of the crowd, willing him to catch someone. Shining-eyed girls were jittering around the edges of the light, grabbing onto each other in excitement.
As the chant peaked, he spun and caught a naked Hind slipping through the smoke behind him. He grabbed her arm and swung her up onto his chest. With a roar, he charged towards the glowing bank of coals and leapt right over it. Screaming, all the Hinds bounded after him across the coals. The witnesses rushed forward, clapping and chanting in front of the fiercely hot barrier. I was jumping with excitement. I lost touch with Gaia and Rosie; she was still crying from her fright and I think they stayed back.
Over the coals I could see the Apprentices surrounding a raised plinth on which the man was rearing above the naked girl. Her legs were high over his hips and he pushed deeply into her. She cried out once, her head thrown back, the light of the candles reflecting on her throat. He pushed again, and again, and she rocked beneath him. With a guttural cry that swirled around us like the smoke, he pushed hard into her, shuddered, and became still, holding himself above her. Her pale arms wound up around his shoulders and pulled him down onto her body. All around me the witnesses were pressed together, breathing heavily and holding each other.
The Most Elder Sister and the Senior Lord appeared o
n the far side of the plinth, and spoke quietly to the young couple. They pushed apart slowly, looking a bit dazed. They slid off the platform and disappeared up the corridor behind the Shrine, shielded from our view by a few members of both Councils.
The Most Elder Sister held up the cloth they had been lying on and it was marked with a wet area and a small smear of blood. Silently, she turned so that everyone could see it, and then stepped to the Shrine.
‘Goddess!’ she called clearly, ‘See and accept the life fluid and the virgin blood of our young people, evidence of their readiness to serve you, to increase the numbers of your worshippers in the Enclaves. Bless our people and bless our communities with all forms of increase!’
She rolled the cloth into a ball and threw it into a brazier on the Shrine. It burst into flames, and smoke coiled up, tinged with blue and green and yellow. Slowly she turned and faced the Temple. The Councils gathered on either side of her.
‘Know that what this young couple has done for us in ritual, is what we all do, to bring increase and prosperity to the Enclaves. They represent the divine power of Goddess, passed through the male to start life, and through the female to create and bear life. This power lives and moves in every one of us. We do not waste it, or play with it, but channel it wisely. It brings pleasure when used as the Goddess has decreed. But like all power, it can bring misery and hardship if abused. Go and meditate on the path of the power within you.’
She faced the Shrine again, genuflected deeply to the Goddess, and then she and the Councils made their way up the corridor. We began to shake ourselves out of our trance, looking at each other, a little stunned. I found Rosie and Gaia in the crowd behind me. Rosie was trembling and tears were still dripping off her chin. Gaia and I put our arms around her, and we walked outside together.
