When the royal carriage returned, my father had gained his strength back, and he disappeared into his work again. I didn’t blame him. If I could have disappeared, I would have too.
I didn’t attempt to find another suitor. Nor did any try courting me. I kept my eyes open, but I didn’t cross paths with anyone who interested me enough to pursue. Every man I had met was boring, disgusting, or seemed to have ulterior motives.
No one pushed me to find love either—not until the night of my eighteenth birthday.
I sat in the main dining hall with the rest of the royal family and some of our closest peers. Light conversations floated around the hall as dinner was served, for which some of my favourite foods were prepared; roasted pig, different types of cheeses, warm bread and sweet potatoes with a crisp, white wine to drink.
We waited for Queen Jelena to arrive so we could start our meal when her head handmaiden entered the hall alone.
Conversations halted in their tracks as everyone turned to stare at her as she entered with haste, her brow furrowed.
“Queen Jelena sends her deepest regret that she won’t be able to attend your birthday dinner, Lady Zephyra. She is not feeling well, but wishes you a happy night,” she said to me, and then she curtsied, casting her eyes toward the floor.
Adelaide paled at my side and… was that a quick smile I saw on my mother’s lips across the table?
“Oh no!” I replied with concern. “May I visit her after we dine? Since it is my birthday, it is my wish to see her.”
“Of course, your wish will be granted, my lady. Come as soon as you are finished here. She rests in her chambers.”
“Thank you, Vienna.” I nodded curtly as she curtsied again and exited the hall to attend to the queen.
“I hope she’ll be all right.” I didn’t know what else to say. My grandmother wouldn’t miss my birthday unless her health was dire. The whole scenario shocked me.
“She is obviously not all right. She would never miss your birthday if she was all right. The queen adores you,” Adelaide replied in a shaky voice, putting my own worries into words. She shook herself, realizing it was now her place to announce dinner so the rest of us could eat. “We wish Lady Zephyra a happy eighteenth birthday on this night. Please eat… before this food grows cold.”
We picked up our silver forks and began our meal with awkward conversation, the queen’s state never leaving any of our minds throughout the meal. To be honest, I’d lost my appetite, but I made myself eat nonetheless. It would’ve been rude not to eat after the kitchen staff had prepared the meal especially for me.
Once we’d finished, a servant carted out a grand white cake with a yellow sun painted with icing at its center. I accepted a small piece and shoved it into my mouth as fast as I could while still looking like a lady of the court and not a starving vagrant.
Swallowing the last piece, I set down my silver fork, and rose from my seat, the folds of my bronze skirts falling to the floor like rippling water. “Thank you all for joining me for this most delicious meal on my birthday. Please stay as long as it pleases you. I’m going to visit the queen.”
As I turned and walked away, a few whispered wishes for a good night, and some asked me to give the queen their love. I kept my head high and stepped through the doors of the dining hall.
I climbed the winding stairs and strode through the dim halls to the queen’s chambers; flames from the lanterns posted along the stone walls flickered like dancing fireflies. I shivered as I came upon the door to my grandmother’s chambers, the cool, indoor air licking the bare skin on my arms and neck.
A guard posted outside of her door noticed me and stepped aside, allowing me to enter. “Queen Jelena is expecting you, milady.” He bowed his head as I walked past him without a word and pushed the heavy door open.
Inside the outer chamber, Vienna sat slumped by the hearth heating the elegant space, holding her stitching in her lap. Hearing movement, she set her stitching down and said, “Good, you’re here. Please go on in to her sleeping chamber. I’ve told her you’re coming.”
“Thank you, Vienna.” I entered the queen’s sleeping chamber and found her in the bed canopied with red velvet. Her eyes were closed but fluttered when I reached her side.
“Grandmother, did I wake you? Apologies, I only wished to see you on my birthday. I’m sorry you weren’t well enough to attend the dinner.” I tried to hide my worry as I took in her state. Though she had lived many seasons, she’d always been strong and graceful, but now she looked as though she’d aged a decade within a few days. Her body appeared frail, as though it might break at the lightest touch. Her skin, which sagged from her bones, was as pale as parchment. The very sight of her made me sick to my stomach.
“No, dear, just resting my eyes.” Her thin lips pulled up a little in an attempted at a smile. “Don’t look so worried. It isn’t becoming of you.”
“Apologies, Grandmother.” I lowered myself onto the stool placed next to her bed. “I only wish you were in better health.”
“No matter, my love, it is a sickness of the heart. I can feel it in my chest. It grows weaker with each beat.”
I put my hand to my mouth, squeezing my eyes shut to stop the tears from spilling out. This wasn’t some sickness from which she would recover. If it were indeed a sickness of the heart as she said, there was a high chance she’d soon die.
She placed her bony hand on my arm. “It is all right, dear Zephyra, we all must return to Celestia eventually. I feel my time is near, and I am quite looking forward to being reunited with King Furraro.”
I stared at her, my eyes burning with tears. “Oh, Grandmother, of course you must be. It is only hard for those of us who are left behind. Adelaide… I don’t know if she is ready for this—”
She stopped me, “Adelaide is as ready as she will ever be. She has found a wonderful suitor, and she has you by her side. You are her rock.”
“But I don’t have my own suitor to ensure I have a daughter to back her up!” I sighed and lowered my voice, not wanting to upset her. “I promise I’ll try harder to find someone…even if it is someone I don’t particularly like.”
She took both my hands in hers and looked me straight in the eyes. “My dear, you must promise me you will never be with someone whom you do not love. I do not worry for the future of this kingdom. I know everything is going to turn out well. I only want my family to be happy. I regret every day that my husband promised your father to your mother as his friend’s dying wish. I know he did not have much choice, but I see how it has ruined my son’s life. You are his only happiness, and it would be a shame if you were to lead the same fate. It would crush him. So please promise me you will not be with someone simply out of duty.”
I nodded and pressed my lips together, coming to a conclusion. “I don’t know if I shall ever find anyone who will love plain little me, but I promise you, I shall not accept someone I don’t love.”
She smiled, letting out a deep breath, and released my hands. “You will, have faith, my dear. Celestia assures me there is someone for you out there.”
“All right, Grandmother.” I thought perhaps she was losing her mind, but I decided to humour her—she was still the queen, after all.
“I must sleep, if you don’t mind. I hope you enjoyed your birthday.”
“I did. Thank you—well, except for the sad news of your condition.”
“Do not be sad for me. I am well enough. I have made peace with my death.”
My throat tightened. “I’ll come back and see you soon. I bid you goodnight. I love you, Grandmother,” I whispered, but she’d already fallen back asleep.
I left her chambers to seek out my own. As soon as I reached my bed, I plopped down, buried my face in my feather pillows and cried myself to sleep.
The next day, Adelaide came to visit me in my chambers. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, and her skirts were a rumpled mess. I took this as a sign and stated, “You’ve seen Grandmother.”
I went to her and held her in my arms, hoping to give her some sort of comfort. “Oh, Addy, but you are ready… as ready as you shall ever be. I know it shan’t be easy, but you know I’m here for you. Anything you need, all you have to do is say so.”
“Thank you. It’s just so hard. I don’t want to lose her,” she blubbered into my shoulder.
“I know. Me neither.” I couldn’t imagine what it was like to carry the burden she did. As hard as it was for the rest of us, this would be even harder on Adelaide, who it seemed would become our queen sooner rather than later. “You’ve been raised well. And you’re a smart, beautiful woman inside and out. All of Solis adores you. Besides, you will have advisors when it comes to the political stuff.”
“I know, I know.” She sighed, “What ever would I do without you?” She held both of my arms and gave me a gentle shake.
“No matter,” I waved her off. “Go clean yourself up. You mustn’t be seen showing such signs of weakness.”
She nodded, gathering her wits, and then she left, her skirts rustling as she made her way from my chambers.
Once she was gone, I tilted my head back to stare at the ceiling, sitting back down. I was so glad I wasn’t the princess. I never wanted to be queen. The weight of an entire kingdom would soon be resting on my dear Addy’s shoulders. I would have collapsed under that weight. Addy was strong, and everyone loved her. She would be all right—in time.
Sitting in front of a canvas in the garden, I dipped my brush into the glob of red paint. I lifted the brush, about to make a long stroke, when I heard the sound of the bell that brought doom to our whole kingdom. The long, drawn-out sound of the loud iron bell could only mean one thing…
After three chimes of the bell, I dropped my paint brush. Leaving my incomplete painting of roses in front of the bench, I dashed into the palace. I ran as fast as my feet would carry me, up the winding staircase to my grandmother’s chambers. As I ran down the hall, others’ footsteps echoed off the walls.
I neared the door to her chambers to find Adelaide already there with her mother and father. My cousin stood as still as a statue, her face void of all emotion. Noticing my arrival, she set her olive eyes on me. The next words she spoke sounded as though they came from someone else, some stranger I’d never met. “The healer has informed us—” she paused to inhale. “Queen Jelena is dead.”
Chapter 8
The next few days were a blur, and the atmosphere at the palace was somber. I didn’t see Adelaide much. She was busy with her new advisors, making preparations for Queen Jelena’s death ceremony. I did my best to keep Peyton company while Adelaide was encompassed with all of the arrangements. I doubt I made good company. I myself felt absent. I assured him he would see more of her again once things settled down.
Two sunrises after her death, we were allowed to see the deceased queen to say our final goodbyes.
The palace’s steward, a short, serious man, came and got me when it was my turn with her body. Once inside the room with her, he left me alone.
The small room was made completely of stone. Dozens of glowing white candles lit the space well. An exquisite painting of Celestia hung on the wall above my grandmother’s head. The beautiful goddess in the painting looked down at my grandmother with love, holding out her hands to accept the spirit back into her realm. The image gave me comfort.
I approached my grandmother’s body. She was dressed in the finest gold trimmed red silk. Upon her neck rested a golden necklace sparkling with diamonds and rubies. On her head laid her stunning golden sunburst crown, encrusted with the same jewels as her necklace. The jewels were only for the viewing. Her body would be burned in the traditional Solis way, consumed by the fire from which our kingdom had been born.
I looked upon her peaceful face and knew that she’d finally been reunited with her husband and our goddess. I smiled, feeling content at the thought.
“I will keep my promise to you, Grandmother,” I whispered to her. “I can’t promise I will find love, but I can promise you that I’ll never be with anyone I do not love. May Celestia keep you for the rest of days.” I kissed two of my finger-tips and pressed them softly to her forehead.
With my goodbyes said, there was nothing left to do, so I took my leave, my black skirts and robe floating around me as I exited the room.
Once everyone had a turn to say their farewells to the former queen, it was time to send her body back to the earth.
The whole kingdom was stationed around the outer courtyard. The queen’s body rested upon a wooden slab at its center. Everyone dressed in black to show their grief for the loss of their queen, with the exception of the priestess, who waited beside my grandmother’s body, holding a giant torch. She was a beautiful woman with flaming red hair, much like my own. She wore a long, flowing robe of white that rippled gently as the wind kissed it with its cool touch.
“On this day we thank Celestia for giving us a kind and just queen. We thank her for the seasons with which she allowed Queen Jelena to rule this kingdom.” Her voice echoed with almost an unnatural volume throughout the courtyard. “We thank Celestia for taking back the spirit of this great queen so she may be at peace for the rest of days. We call upon the powers of her elements, Fire, Water, Earth and Air to take back the body she no longer has need for. For the love of Celestia!” she shouted the last words and hoisted the torch high above her head.
“For the love of Celestia!” we all repeated in perfect unison. I held my father’s hand as the priestess lowered the torch to the wooden slab.
My mother watched from the other side of my father with her head held high, her expression stony as the fire consumed the wooden slab and my grandmother’s body within an instant. And then it was done. We departed, Queen Jelena forever in our memories, knowing we had only our future ahead of us—a future with our new queen.
After the death ceremony, it was time to celebrate life. I sat in my dressing chamber, wearing a high-collared, pale yellow dress that I found to be most unflattering. I’d chosen it for its colour and modesty. Because we were celebrating life, only bright and happy colours were to be worn, and being that we had burned my grandmother’s body earlier this very day, I felt it necessary to dress modestly.
I adjusted the golden brooch at the center of my throat while Awyn finished my hair. A persistent tapping on the door sounded, causing us both to glance at the door.
“You may enter,” I shouted from my chair.
I heard the door creak as it opened before a guard announced, “Her Royal Majesty, Queen Adelaide.”
The guard bowed deeply and waved his hand at my cousin before she swept past him, rolling her eyes and sighing with exasperation, “Yes, yes, very well. We get it. Eck! Enough with all of these formalities, I wish to speak with my cousin in private. Leave us be. Awyn, dear, if you wouldn’t mind…” She clasped her hands together, beckoning with a tilted head for my handmaiden to depart my chambers with the guard.
“Yes—yes, of course!” she stumbled, not yet used to our new queen’s authority. “Excuse me, Your Majesty.” She curtsied and quickly fled out the door.
Adelaide sat down, throwing her head back to look at the ceiling. “Dear Celestia, will I ever get used to all of this fussing over me? I didn’t mind it when I was princess, but this will take some getting used to.”
It was more of a hypothetical question, and I was no goddess, so I ignored it and asked one of my own instead, “So, when is your coronation to be?”
“Not until after Noctis De Celestia. It is only thirteen sunrises away, and the palace must begin preparations on the morrow. With the death ceremony and life celebration, it’ll be hard enough to have everything ready in time for Noctis. No, we will wait until another ten sunrises after Noctis De Celestia before my coronation. In fact, this brings me to the very matter of my presence in your chambers.” Her lips pressed into a thin
line, turning her expression grim.
“Oh?” I raised a brow in question as I peered at her, still in her black dress from the death ceremony. I guessed she’d been too busy to even have her ladies prepare her for the life celebration yet.
“Yes. Well—you know how you said you would be here for me no matter what I needed?” She smiled innocently.
“Yes, what do you need of me?”
“I know you like to spend your night at the Temple, but would you please spend Noctis De Celestia with me this spring?” She peered up at me with her big, pleading eyes and added, “Please, Zephy.”
“Oh, Addy, of all of the favours you could’ve asked of me, I wish you had not asked for this.” I turned my face away, feeling shame.
She lowered herself onto her knees in front of me and grasped my hands. “But, Zephy, I need you. I promise you can sit by my side. I swear I won’t make you sit with people you don’t know.”
The irony that the queen was kneeling before me instead of the other way around didn’t escape me.
“What about Peyton? Shan’t you have him there with you?”
“He will indeed be there, but—he is not to sit at my side. I’m not yet crowned and, alas, we are not yet married. It is not custom for me to show I have a partner at this point, while I’m new to my sovereignty. People would question any decision I made and accuse me of being influenced by someone who is not royalty. No, I must appear independent until I am crowned.”
“Argh! All right, Addy,” I surrendered with frustration, knowing she was right. “I told you I would be here for you, so all right. I shall attend Noctis De Celestia this time and sit by your side.”
“Splendid!” She clapped her hands together, and then she held me in a crushing embrace, kissing my cheek. “You have my gratitude! You cannot know how much this means to me.”
The Elemental Diaries - Complete Series Page 7
