I put my hand over the wooden blade. I thanked Celestia it was her and not a guard who’d found me sleeping with it. “I—uh—I asked the guard if I could have it,” I lied.
“And he said yes?”
I bit my lip and nodded. “It’s only wood.”
Anger lit her azure eyes, making them look like frozen waterfalls. “Why didn’t you think to do that to begin with? Do you know where I spent the last day and night?” she cried.
Silence seemed the best answer.
“In the bloody, stinking dungeon!” She’d never raised her voice at me like that. If Ramiel were alive, I’d kill him for this. I knew how awful the dungeon was. It wasn’t a place for a kind, timid woman like Aslaug.
I climbed off the bed and went to her. “I’m sorry, Aslaug. I didn’t think you’d be caught. If I knew the guards would’ve let me have a wooden sword, I would’ve had you ask them instead. Please forgive me.”
She breathed deeply a couple times to rein in her temper, and then she said, “Don’t ask me to get myself in trouble again.”
“I won’t, but…” She gave me a pointed look. “I do have one more favour to ask.”
She made a whiney sound with her throat and turned away.
“You won’t get in trouble,” I assured her. I gripped both of her shoulders so that she had to face me again. “Will you please find me a book about sword fighting? I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“A book?” Her brows drew together. “It’ll be hard to learn sword fighting from a book.”
I released her shoulders. “I have no one to teach me.” Not entirely true, but apparently, I couldn’t count on Ramiel.
She blinked. Once. Twice. “Fine. Anything else my lady needs?”
“Actually, yes. Though, this one may be more difficult.” She crossed her arms and waited for me to continue. “Would you ask Star if she would speak with me? I have something I need to tell her.”
“The queen won’t agree to speak with you, and I rarely even come close enough to her to gain her attention.”
I clasped my hands in front of me and pleaded. “Try. Ask Hilda to give her the message for you.”
Aslaug rolled her eyes, though her anger had dimmed. “All right, but that’s it. No more favours.”
I smiled brightly and stepped back. “Thank you.”
I swear she’d never left my chamber faster. I couldn’t blame her. I’d be annoyed with me too if I’d gotten myself locked in the dungeon. The memory of the smell of decay and screaming criminals still gave me chills.
Aslaug succeeded in finding a book on swordsmanship. I studied every page until I had etched it into my mind. I tried to put the descriptions and diagrams into action, but I had no way of judging if I executed them properly.
Aslaug hadn’t been able to get a message to Star for me. Hilda had been with my sister in the Lunar Room every time Aslaug tried to track her down. I needed to warn her that Vesirus had come to our realm. She needed to prepare for war. I couldn’t do that if she refused to speak with me.
I tried not to panic with each day that passed. Ramiel hadn’t returned. I prayed someone would stop King Zaeden before he and the Dark Lord attacked Terra. Surely, Celestia would do something about her brother.
Something whispered in my mind, You. You’re what Celestia is doing about Vesirus.
We’re all doomed, I answered myself.
Every time I went to sleep, I told myself everything would be all right. I’d tell Star about Vesirus and she’d prepare Ventosa’s army. She’d let me out so I could help us win the war. A fool’s thoughts. Star wasn’t coming to listen to my warning.
Aslaug told me as much the day my sister left for Aquila to spend Noctis celebrating with the Kingdom of Water.
“I’m sorry,” Aslaug said. “I begged Hilda to ask her to visit you before she journeyed to Aquila, but she said the queen didn’t have time.”
“You don’t understand.” My nails bit into my palms as I tried to keep my voice calm and failed. “Star is in danger. Your failure may cost my sister her life.”
Her face turned as white as the snow outside my window. “What—what are you talking about?”
She wouldn’t understand… wouldn’t believe me. I ground my teeth together, and then I pointed at the door. “Get out.” I knew she believed me cruel, but I couldn’t hide the fear pounding through my blood. I needed out of the tower, and Star was the only one who could give the order to release me. But it was too late. Star had left for the very kingdom ruled by the man who’d destroy us all.
Aslaug blinked away the tears threatening to pour from her azure eyes.
I didn’t move, my finger still pointing at the door, until she turned and left.
I tilted my head back and cried to my goddess, “Celestia, why? Why have you abandoned your children in our time of need?”
But it was Ramiel who answered.
Standing with his arms folded, he said, “She has not abandoned you. And neither have I.” He unsheathed the sword strapped to his back. The silver blade reflected the candlelight as he pointed it at the wooden one I’d tossed in a corner of the room. “Pick it up.”
I glanced at the discarded sword then back at him. “You must be jesting.”
“I’m not.”
I bent to fetch the sword and then faced the guardian. I got into the stance I’d learned from the book about sword fighting.
In the blink of an eye, he cut downward, slicing clean through the wood blade.
I stared down at the broken practice sword still in my hand before letting it fall to the floor. “How am I to practice now? This isn’t fair. Why won’t Celestia fight Vesirus herself?”
Ramiel slid the second blade strapped to his back from its sheath and handed it to me.
Taking it, I studied the fine weapon, lighter than the wood one lying broken on the floor… impossible. I stared into my own amethyst eyes in the reflection on the blade, so shiny, like a mirror with a deadly edge.
“Copy my stance,” he said, stealing my attention from the magnificent blade.
I mimicked the simple pose, bringing the sword up between us like he’d done with his.
“This blade,” I ground out, “why didn’t you give it to me from the beginning? Why have me go through all the trouble?”
“You ask a lot of questions, lady.”
I jabbed the blade at him. He blocked it with his identical shimmering sword.
He came at me, purposely slow so I could repeat the block he’d used on me. “Celestia herself forged these swords. Only the guardians may use them. I’m lending you mine only when we train. You weren’t ready to hold such a weapon before,” he stated. “We wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.”
I swiped my blade, trying to cut him, and ended up getting knocked on my ass.
He stood back and let me get up on my own.
“Weapons like these could help us. You could help us.” I glared at him and readied for his next strike.
“I told you, we try not to meddle in the affairs of mortals.”
My blade—the blade he’d lent me—flashed as I parried, aiming for his armoured chest. “Is that Celestia’s excuse too? It seems her brother doesn’t live by such rules.”
Ramiel’s arms flexed as his blade collided with mine, ringing a song of death. “If Celestia stooped to her brother’s level and entered your realm, your kind would’ve been destroyed long ago. Her power is too great for the mortal realm to hold. Don’t be so quick to judge the goddess who gave you life. She’s doing what she can to preserve her children and their realm.”
I regained my balance and swung at him.
He easily side-stepped me, and I nearly toppled over. I had no more energy to argue with, so I continued trying to disarm him, injure him… anything that would give me an advantage.
By the end of our session, I was covered in nicks and bruises. I could tell he held back to keep from truly harming me.
I pushed myself up off the floor, glaring
through tears of frustration when he re-sheathed his sword and held out his hand for the other weapon.
I thought about shoving it across the floor so he’d have to fetch it himself, but I didn’t want to give him the pleasure of calling me childish. I placed the hilt into his waiting palm and said, “I’m no warrior.”
Before returning to his own realm, he slipped the blade into the sheath on his back, so that it crossed the other between his wings, and answered, “You will be.”
Alone, I tossed the broken practice sword, along with my ruined gown, into the fire. I dressed myself in one with long sleeves to hide my minor wounds, knowing Aslaug would return soon.
But it wasn’t my handmaid who entered my chamber later that afternoon. Instead, the man I never wanted to see again let himself in.
Chapter 13
My father’s indigo stare held no warmth as his words mocked me. “Aslaug claims you believe the queen is in danger. I’ve come to witness how mad you’ve become myself. At last, you show yourself to be a true Pavanas ancestor. Your mother would be horrified, were she still with us.”
I wouldn’t cry; I wouldn’t let this man hurt me. I kept my eyes locked on his. “My mother wouldn’t have shut me inside this tower. And if Star dies, it’ll be because of you.”
“You truly have gone mad.”
I had nothing to lose in telling him the truth. “Isn’t it true that King Zaeden lost his queen?”
My father had aged well, the lines in his face only slightly deeper than they were when my mother had died. Though, his usual gold strands of hair had started to turn white. He straightened his shoulders, no indication of shock at my question. “So, Aslaug informed you of Queen Thea’s death.”
“Whether she did or not, King Zaeden has invited Vesirus into our realm to help him win the war against the other kingdoms. He marches for Terra, if he hasn’t already claimed it by now. Star rides toward an enemy kingdom.”
My father stayed silent for a moment, thinking over his answer. “King Zaeden asked us to go to war against the island, Gwon, with him. We refused. Nothing came of it. Why you’ve concocted this story, I have no clue. Perhaps it’s some foolish attempt to get Star to release you.”
“Vesirus will end us all, and we’ll deserve it.”
My father laughed, shaking his head. He reached for the door. “Star wouldn’t have listened anyways. I advised her not to take the harrowing journey that killed your mother. She wouldn’t listen to me, and she certainly wouldn’t have listened to you.”
I let him leave, let him have the last word, because maybe he was right. Star probably would have thought me insane too.
Ramiel was my only hope. I had to convince him to help me get out of the tower.
I lay down on my bed, listening to the crackling of the hearth. I didn’t move for a long time. Not until Aslaug came with my meal.
She tip-toed in and placed the food on the table.
“Why does my father hate me?” I didn’t bother rolling over to face her.
A few heartbeats later, she answered. “We hate that which we fear, for we cannot control it.” Wise words. The mattress sank as she lowered herself onto the corner. “Was he cruel?”
I rolled over to peer at her. “He treats me as though I’m his enemy.”
Aslaug studied her hands. “I’m sorry I told him what you said. You just… you scared me.”
She had every reason to worry about me, about what I’d said. If I hadn’t met Ramiel… if he hadn’t shown me the memory of King Zaeden inviting Vesirus into our realm, I wouldn’t believe me either. I prayed to Celestia I had indeed gone mad and the guardian wasn’t real. For all our sakes.
I rolled back over and faced the wall. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“Please don’t be upset. I’ve brought you tea and biscuits with jelly.”
“Don’t worry,” I told her. “I will eat it.”
She lingered another moment but left me when I didn’t move.
I had no appetite, but I made myself eat anyway.
A few days later, when my cuts had scabbed over and my bruises had turned yellow, Ramiel returned. “Get up,” he demanded.
I’d gone back to bed after breaking my fast. Depression had set in again after seeing my father. I only rose from bed long enough to nibble on whatever Aslaug brought me, or to relieve myself in the chamber pot.
I sat up enough to look at the winged guardian. So perfect. His body reminded me more of a statue than a man. Honed into a weapon. “You should fight in this war, not me. Take my magic and leave me to return to my mother in spirit.”
He placed his hands on his armour-covered hips. The silver and gold metal fit him like a second skin. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t take your magic. It’s bound to your spirit.”
I sank back down, my mass of tangled hair sticking to my pillow. “Then help me get out of here.”
“If I let you out from this tower, you would find yourself locked in the dungeon for the rest of your days.”
Frustrated with his excuses, I flung out both arms. “Then fly me away from here.”
His silver gaze went distant. “It’s not time. You must remain here until the others have come.”
“You speak in riddles. How am I supposed to trust you? I don’t know you. Not really. For all I know, you could be working for Vesirus.”
Ramiel crouched down and peered into my eyes. “Do you really believe I’m one of the Dark Lord’s creatures?”
I fell into that silver ringed with gold, searching for an answer. Starlight stared back at me. His face softened into a shadow of compassion.
I broke our eye contact. “No. I don’t.” He was a creature of light, not darkness. “But I still don’t understand how you expect me to wait here while my realm could shatter at any moment.”
“You’re not ready to face the Dark Lord. Nor do you have the means to find him on your own.” He held his sword out for me to take. “Get up.”
Pushing myself up, my body stiff from days spent in bed, I gripped the crescent-shaped hilt of the sword and forced myself to my feet. I didn’t care that I wore my silk nightgown. Anything I wore would likely end up torn from our session anyways. And he wasn’t interested in me, so I didn’t bother trying to hide beneath the thin material.
He waited in a defensive stance, his sword, twin to the one I wielded, ready.
I cautiously stepped forward and slashed my blade at him.
He easily hit it away, and it clattered to the floor. “Try harder.”
I retrieved my weapon, taking my time, not bothering to put much effort in. I came at him again.
The guardian disarmed me and feigned a killing blow. “Prove yourself, lady. Show your father he’s wrong about you.”
I swooped down to fetch my weapon. Our blades’ clashes rang through the chamber as I focused all my energy at him. “What do you know of my father?” I ground out, more of an accusation than a question.
More clanging of Celestia’s steel.
“I’ve watched over you since your power awakened.” He easily blocked my blow. His next slash connected, the sleeve of my white nightgown falling to reveal my bare shoulder. He almost smirked, but he kept his eyes fixed ahead.
I grunted and swung, only to impale the side of my bookshelf. Books tumbled to the floor as I freed my blade. “You’ve been spying on me?” I asked while trying to catch my breath. “Should I feel violated?”
Another strike, and then a feint to the right.
“All guardians watch over their charges.”
I leaped backward, out of his reach, and waited for him to come at me.
He spun, slid low, and came back up in time to knock me off my feet again. My weapon slid across the floor.
I panted, staring up at him. “You should’ve come to me when they shoved me inside the dungeon.”
He put his sword away and offered to help me up. So chivalrous. So unlike him.
I ignored his outstretched hand and got up on my o
wn.
“You didn’t need me then,” he said.
“No.” I strode to my wardrobe. “You didn’t need me then.” I busied myself with finding something to wear.
When I turned around, he was gone, and so was my sword.
Ramiel returned every afternoon to train.
Aslaug raised her brows at me when she found my chambers in disarray each night, but she kept her mouth shut and put everything back where it belonged. I daresay she thought I spent my days throwing temper tantrums.
Time meant nothing to me. My life had become a series of training sessions and exhaustion. I was grateful Ramiel had given me something to focus on. Prove my father wrong. Prove the kingdom wrong. I wasn’t a danger. I was born to be queen, and I would not be forgotten. I would save the kingdom that’d been misinformed about me.
My body changed. Muscles formed where I was once too thin. I memorized all the moves Ramiel taught me until they became as natural as breathing.
As sunlight streamed in from my little window one afternoon, I blocked low as Ramiel made to jab me in the ribs.
He tried again, aiming higher.
I blocked that hit too.
Smiling, I let him push me back the way he’d taught me to, allowing my attacker to believe they had the upper hand. My heel hit a leg of the table. Know your surroundings. Another lesson I’d learned.
His sword cut through the air, slicing the tip of my braid off as I leaped backward onto the table, dishes clattering to the floor, and kicked him in the chest.
He rolled back, blade still in hand, but didn’t have time to recover before I jumped on top of him and knocked the weapon from his grip.
I put one knee on top of his chest, my sword aimed at his heart. I’d never disarmed him before.
The skin on his pinned down arm felt strange beneath my hand. Not warm, but not cold. Not alive, but not dead.
I trailed my fingers down his forearm, reveling in the smoothness. A sort of longing came alive within my core. It shocked me.
The Elemental Diaries - Complete Series Page 80
