Determined but trembling with fear, she called Doron to meet her at Café Mandarin in the center of the Carmel, at two o’clock in the afternoon. It was close to home, and if their conversation went poorly, she could return home quickly.
Chapter Nineteen
Work the next day crawled slowly.
Galia prayed that her courage wouldn’t fail her at the appointed hour in the afternoon. In the conference room, Galia had meetings with two potential partners who expressed interest in Our Haifa. One of them had a journalistic background in the Israeli market, as they already owned a paper in the center of the country. The second, represented by a lawyer, did not come from the world of journalism, but was very interested in investing in one of the leading local newspapers. Each meeting ended with Galia promising to seriously consider the offer.
Doubtlessly, she was not sufficiently focused to judge these offers and respond accordingly. To her relief, Daniel had not shown up in the newsroom for weeks, so that all the decisions about the paper were in her hands. She decided to take the files home and consider them seriously later.
She arrived at the café first, a bit disappointed that Doron wasn’t there waiting for her. She ordered tea with lemon — all she could tolerate at the moment. She sat there waiting for ten minutes until Doron arrived.
“Sorry I’m late,” he apologized, bending down to kiss her on the cheek.
He ordered a bottle of cold water and stretched out opposite her. She studied him. The blue shirt he was wearing perfectly matched his blue eyes, which were watching her. He smiled at her, and she knew that no matter what, they would always have a connection, after everything they had experienced and because they were the loving parents of Shir.
“So now that I’m here, Gali, what did you want to talk about?” His voice was soft, and she hoped that her fear was not obvious on her face.
“I want to tell you something, but you can’t react or interrupt. I need you to sit there and listen, okay?”
He put the bottle on the table. “I promise.”
She took a deep breath. “Doron, this is the last time I’ll ask you to forgive me,” her voice faltered, and she paused to conclude assuredly, “and give us another chance.
Doron opened his mouth to say something, but she stopped him abruptly. “I know that our relationship is complicated. I know that I hurt you with all of the secrets I kept from you. I also know that I hurt you because I didn’t turn to you for help. I realize now that it was a mistake — a tremendous mistake, which cost me your love. That’s why I wanted to meet today. I wanted to tell you that I cannot imagine my life without you. But if you decide that we have no future together, I will respect your decision. I will understand. I won’t get mad at you. You will always be the father of my child, and I will always want us to have a good relationship for her sake.”
Doron took a deep breath. She realized that he was hesitating, considering his words. Her hand, holding her teacup, shivered a bit and she put it back down. She then looked back into his eyes. The courage and determination which had filled her moments ago had started to desert her. She was already unsure that she wanted his answer. What was I thinking? she asked herself. That I would come and demand absolution and he would just give it to me? Haven’t I learned by now that life never goes the way we expect? She closed her eyes for a moment, as a wave of nausea hit her. She could not withstand another refusal, if he told her it was too hard to forgive her.
“You don’t have to say anything now. Really, truly, you don’t.” Another wave of nausea washed over her.
She got up, desperate to get out of there. She couldn’t bear it anymore. She had done her part. Doron knew how she felt, what she wanted from him. The tears welled in her eyes, and her vision became blurry. She grabbed her bag; on unsteady legs, she tried to get to the door. However, she stumbled over a chair.
“Excuse me,” she said to the diners, then continued on her way out.
She thought she could hear Doron calling her name, but she had no intention of stopping and turning around. She went out to the street, realizing that she shouldn’t be driving in her state. She had to get away before Doron paid the bill and came out. She lifted her hand, and a taxi soon stopped for her. She entered, sinking into the backseat.
“Where to, lady?”
She still didn’t want to go home. The day was pleasant, and she thought an oceanside walk would soothe her soul. Only what she liked to call “the infinite blue” and its distinctive scent could calm the storm of her emotions.
“The beach, please.”
As Doron came out, the taxi was speeding away. His car was far away, and there was no chance that he could catch up to it. A cry of desperation escaped his lips. He walked back to his car despondently.
“Idiot!” he berated himself. “Since when do you need to think about it when it comes to Galia?”
***
The weather really was unseasonably pleasant. The wind was a light breeze, atypical for February, and it blew Galia’s hair into wild disarray. Galia looked to the horizon. While the morning had been cloudy, the sky was now spotless and cloudless. She took off her shoes and stuck her feet into the cold water, breathing deeply, filling her lungs with pure air.
Despite the uncertainty of her relationship with Doron, she felt a great relief. She felt free. Free of secrets, free of worries. Whatever happened, she would deal with it, she told herself. Granted, she had not told Doron about the pregnancy, but she would do it as soon as possible. Now he knew how she felt, even though nothing had ever changed. She had always loved him, and she had made sure he knew that even now she wanted him in her life.
Galia smiled to herself. Of course she wanted him… he was the very air she breathed! He was her life, her soul — day by day, throughout the day. The yearning for him burned through her body and her heart. She remembered the nights they had spent together amidst all the insanity. One of those nights, apparently, had led to this pregnancy.
She didn’t regret it, not for a second. Even if she were able to go back in time, knowing that Doron would never forgive her, she would once again sink into his arms and give him all of her. Every inch of her body was afire whenever he was around, and that fire burned only in the presence of the oxygen that Doron provided for her. She would have to suffice with these memories if Doron refused to forgive her, if he refused to take her back.
A smile formed on her face. She felt that a great weight had been removed from her. The clean, cold air did its work. She turned to the bench nearby, sitting down to put her shoes back on, then looked up to find Doron striding towards her.
He stopped in front of her and looked into her eyes.
“But how…?” Her heart pounded.
“I haven’t forgotten how much you love the… what’d you call it? This infinite blue.” A smile came to his lips.
“Yeah, I needed some of that salty air.” She looked back at the bench, as her legs were now shaking. Doron sat down next to her, but he wouldn’t take his eyes off her face.
“Liar, you were running away from me.”
“No, I wasn’t running away, I just said everything I had to say. I saw how reluctant you were, Doron, but it’s all right. I didn’t mean to put you in an awkward position. It’s all good.” She tried to sound casual, but a storm raged within her.
“It’s all good, really, Gali. You’re right.” His smile widened. He took her hand.
“Now, you owe me a favor. I want you to listen to what I have to say, but don’t interrupt. Just sit and listen.”
Doron took a deep breath. “When you said our relationship is complicated, you were right. It’s true that you hurt me, in a way I never thought you would. And it happened when I started to feel that you did want me back, that there was a chance to convince you that we were good together… I wasn’t hurt by the secrets, but because you couldn’t find the trust in your heart
to tell me and to believe that I could,” he paused for a moment, “that we could, together, overcome whatever stood in our way. You kept me in the dark about my life, my family, that means you and Shir… and that shattered me. All this time, since it all ended, I tried to find the strength to put it all behind me, to forget. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying for one moment that I stopped loving you. If that’s what you thought, then you’re mistaken. Despite everything, I will always love you.”
“But…” Galia prompted, eager for him to continue.
“There is no but.” Doron paused for a moment. “You want to know what gave me the strength to overcome the pain? Two things…
“First, despite knowing that they lied to you all those years and kept the truth from you — your mother, your sister, even Daniel — you didn’t hesitate for a moment to visit Naama, to ask her for an explanation. I met her in prison, you know. I went to see her, I guess on the same day you visited. I needed to see her myself, up close, that second half of you that you hid from me. Then she told me everything. You know, she didn’t ask me to understand her or forgive her. She only wanted me to help you forgive her, so you could go on with your life. I told her I wasn’t sure you could do that, but then she said that if I forgave you, you could forgive her. She was genuine. It was important for her that you overcome everything that’s happened. I believe that you’ve already decided to forgive her. You have the ability to love without boundaries, to forgive and to move forward.” He caressed her cheek with his hand.
“Second, even for one moment, I cannot imagine giving you up, giving up our life together. I need you to be with me. I’ve been in an unimaginable hell the past few months without you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I need you with me to feel complete, you and Shiri.”
Tears welled in Galia’s beautiful eyes. She took Doron’s hand and put it on her belly, looking into his surprised eyes.
“What, are you serious? For real?” He pulled her towards him, hugged her and kissed her for a while.
When he pulled away, Galia lifted her hand, daring to caress his beautiful face. “Yes, Doron, it’s real. Do you think you can handle it?”
“There’s nothing I can’t handle, together with you,” he replied.
Her lips gently touched his. He hugged her, holding her tight, yearning to take her home and feel her, again and again, for the rest of his life.
The sun set, and on the horizon a ship sounded its horn, recalling the storm which had finally passed.
Epilogue
Two years later
“Mommy, Yamit dumped all my dolls on her floor. When is she going to sleep? I’m tired of her messiness. I want to take them and hide them in my room!”
Shir came into the living room, surprising Doron and Galia, who sat next to each other drinking coffee, talking about their respective days at work, as the news was on in the background.
“Shiri, just a few more minutes. Play with her a little more. Mommy and Daddy will come save you from Yamit soon.” Doron laughed and blew her a kiss.
Shir grimaced and went back to her room.
Doron went back to his story. He was telling Galia about a new case that had come into the office of his private investigation firm, which he had opened a year ago. Galia then told Doron about an interesting piece which was supposed to come out in the weekend edition of the paper. They were career professionals, but they never let their work keep them away from their home or family. Doron had partners in his firm who enjoyed working at night, and Galia had a new partner as well, who insisted on letting her have the time for a normal family life.
Doron finished his cup of coffee. He put it on the table in the living room and kissed Galia on her nose.
“Let me take care of that mess in the bedroom.” He winked.
He stood up, turning towards Shiri’s bedroom, but the news anchor’s words caught him before he could leave.
“We now return to our lead story. Security forces are currently confronting a group of young people near the former site of the Ein Regev settlement, evacuated two years ago. These youths are mostly students from religious institutions and seminars, who arrived in the area tonight in order to rebuild the outpost which was evacuated and demolished in the course of the Disengagement…”
Galia felt Doron’s hand on her shoulder. He stood behind her, listening. She reached back to put her hand on his, when the phone rang. For a second, she hesitated.
Doron kissed her lightly, trying to make her ignore the call.
“It’s all behind us now,” he whispered, but she reached out to answer.
“Hello,” she said.
“Galia?”
For a moment, she couldn’t breathe…
Message from the Author
I hope you enjoyed my book. Before you put it down and move on to another, I’d like to ask you for a favor.
Please leave a review on Amazon, saying what you thought about the book, to help others enjoy it too.
Aspiring authors such as myself depend on reviews to attract new readers to our books. If you could take a minute to share your experience, I would greatly appreciate it!
Forced Silence Page 25
