Eventually he broke the silence. ‘Isabel... About last night?’
She turned to walk. ‘Not now.’
He followed her as she strolled along the beach, kicking up the sand with the dog at her heel. ‘Wait, my lady. This is something that I have to say,’ he said, pushing a mop of hair out of his eyes. ‘We still have many weeks ahead of us before we reach Castle Clancey.’
‘Your point being?’
‘The point is that I... I hope to avoid any awkwardness between us because of what happened last night.’
She huffed in apparent agitation. ‘Shall we leave what happened last night in the past?’
He stilled her, catching her by the elbow. ‘Isabel?’
She lifted her head and met his eyes, a crease on her forehead. ‘As you said last night, what’s done cannot be undone.’
She picked up a stick and threw it for the dog, who scampered after it.
‘I don’t want to deny what happened, nor do I regret anything,’ he said softly. ‘But you are a noble lady and I’m... I’m someone of no consequence. I should not have taken advantage of you.’
‘Would you listen to yourself, Will? Can you not accept that we both...took advantage of one another in a moment of need?’
He rubbed his forehead, smoothing away a frown.
God, this was not going well at all. And once again he’d inadvertently insulted her.
Hell!
Yet it could not be helped. Isabel was not his. They had shared a fleeting moment—a brilliant burst of wonder and ephemeral joy shining brightly. Yet it had all but dimmed now.
They would eventually go their separate ways once he had safety escorted her back where she belonged. She would have her life and he would have his.
‘Yes, well... I agree, my lady. We should be getting back. I believe we must ready ourselves for the journey today.’
No, Isabel de Clancey was not his and she never would be.
* * *
She hadn’t known what to expect from Will after the night they had shared, but it wasn’t this.
Saints above!
The man was positively infuriating, trying to take all the blame for what happened between them as though he hadn’t given her the decision to make. Why did he have to be so honourable, so noble about it? Why did he have to constantly castigate himself?
Isabel sighed and threw a frustrated glare at Will as they walked back to the wooden dwelling together.
The truth was that she had wanted him—wanted those, oh, so delicious intimacies that they had shared. She might now suffer a dose of embarrassment, but she felt no shame about what she had done, even though the general belief was that she should for her wanton, sinful behaviour. But she didn’t—she had no regrets.
At least Will felt the same about that. But to believe that he was somehow unworthy or had somehow taken advantage of her made Isabel want to scream. Her hands clenched into fists at her side when she pondered why men got such ridiculous notions into their heads. She was torn between kicking him in his unmentionables or wrapping him in a warm embrace.
The little dog barked beside her playfully and she felt a slight tug at the corners of her lips.
‘Whatever am I supposed to do with you, Perdu?’ she murmured absently. ‘You know I can’t take you back with me, boy.’
Will slid her a quick glance. ‘I can always ask the man who brought us here if he can look after him, or knows of someone who possibly could?’
‘That would be most appreciated.’ The dog gave her a mournful look as though he understood that they were discussing him. ‘You may be lost, Perdu, but you don’t belong to me and, unfortunately, I don’t belong to you.’
He barked several times, following them before dashing out ahead, grabbing a stick between his teeth proudly and coming straight back to drop it at their feet while wagging his tail expectedly.
‘No, we have to go,’ she said quietly as she bent to stroke the little dog. She straightened her back and swallowed uncomfortably as she caught Will’s eyes. There was a brief spark of emotion in the depths of his blue eyes, that somehow reflected every shade of the sea, before he masked over whatever had been there.
The truth was that Isabel was glad that her first time had been with Will—that she had chosen him. It had been unforgettable to finally see what lay beneath his mask, to find someone so passionate, warm and full of vitality. He had been so unbelievably tender, so incredibly caring. Yet she had no expectation of Will, knowing full well that once she’d claimed her birthright their worlds would be incompatible and wildly different.
But the thought that she would never see him again once their journey ended filled her with a terrible ache somewhere quite close to her heart.
This wouldn’t do, she really must banish such thoughts, just as Will had done, and not allow her feelings for him to grow any further. She had to protect herself as she always had—it would only cause her pain otherwise.
They arrived back at the hut in silence and Isabel changed back into her dress and kirtle behind a flimsy wooden screen. She packed her meagre belongings and the Templar associate from the previous night came to accompany them back. Isabel took one last glance at the room and followed the men out.
Chapter Sixteen
Isabel had never seen a vessel as large and sturdy as the Templars’ merchant ship, La Fortuna. The inclement weather of the past few days meant that it had been delayed in making its sea voyage, but it seemed that fortune was finally shining on them, as the ship was ready to set sail. Isabel looked up in awe at the sleek white sail with the red Templar cross emblazoned on it as it swayed slightly in the light breeze.
Huge barrels of cargo—wine, grains, and expensive spices that the Templars traded with, as well as many barrels of spring water, and food supplies—dried fish, meat and bread—had been loaded for the voyage.
Isabel sighed deeply as she realised that the last time that she had seen a vessel this imposing was the journey she had made, as a child, to this very port. And now, as a fully grown woman, she was returning back home.
Home?
Is that truly where she was going? Somewhere that she would finally belong?
She swallowed down her doubts, hoping and praying that she would.
Eventually it was their turn to board the ship and Isabel bent low to pat the dog that had attached himself to her.
‘Well, Perdu, I’m afraid it’s time to say farewell.’ Isabel stroked his black and white fur. She got up and straightened her spine, handing the little dog to someone who had been found to look after him. ‘Be good, little one, I wish you well in your new home.’
Isabel and Will followed the skipper along the wooden plank to board the vessel as he explained the different parts of his newly built cog ship proudly.
In the end, however, Perdu made the decision that he did, in fact, belong to Isabel, despite all her protestations to the contrary, and before La Fortuna could embark on its long voyage to England, the little dog raced to the plank and fearlessly rushed across. It jumped down on to the deck, wagging its tail at Isabel in defiance.
‘Oh, you are very badly behaved, Perdu,’ she said, picking the dog up and snuggling it close as Will chuckled, shaking his head. ‘But I’m glad you’re coming with us.’
They were taken to the stern of the ship, underneath the huge raised platform of the aft castle, where a makeshift area for Isabel to stay had been accommodated. Here, a space had been created for her to dwell behind a hanging fabric screen, to provide further privacy. The space had been arranged with her comfort in mind, with a large threadbare rug on the floorboard, a small coffer set against the back and large bolsters and cushions scattered on the floor as well as a mattress with blankets made from hides and pelts to provide warmth.
Will pushed the fabric screen aside and ushered Isabel and Perdu inside. ‘I hope this will s
uffice for the voyage, my lady?’
‘Yes.’ She nodded with a smile that seemed a little brittle on her lips. ‘Thank you.’
‘Good’ he said, not meeting her eyes. ‘And as agreed, please stay here for the duration of the journey, unless you need to stretch your legs. I can then accompany you for a brisk walk.’
‘No need to worry about me, or whatever I may need. I’m sure I can think of something.’
‘I’d rather you didn’t, Isabel,’ he ground out. ‘We agreed with the Templars that you would keep away from the seamen and the rest of the crew. They’re not used to women on board.’
‘And you? Do I need to keep away from you as well?’
He exhaled, barely concealing his chagrin. ‘I shall bid you good day until later, when I shall bring you some light repast,’ he said, ignoring her question. ‘Until then, I hope you find everything here to your comfort.’ He bowed before leaving her alone with Perdu.
The dog barked a few times at her and she nodded. ‘Yes, I know. So much for attempting to avoid any awkwardness.’
* * *
The following few days and nights blended into one as La Fortuna continued to sail across the choppy high seas. Isabel stayed in her appointed area and kept herself from the prying eyes of the seamen who had apparently never seen a woman on their ship before, which was frankly ridiculous. Not that she complained.
Isabel had to be mindful of these limited restrictions on her person, especially after her mistake a few days ago, when she had shared fruits that were brought from La Rochelle with the men.
It was on one of her few walks along the deck, so that Perdu could relieve himself, that she had thought to offer some portions of apples, juicy grapes and plums. Will had pulled her up on that and it still niggled when he had informed her that hardened seafaring men were used to meagre foods and not used to the luxuries of fresh fruits.
She had only wanted to be of some use, never having had to be idle before. Really, if Will felt disinclined to be in her company then she wouldn’t insist on it. Being apart gave her time for reflection and everything that the future might bring. As the vessel sailed on, Isabel pondered about what her new life at Castle de Clancey would be like, but could think of nothing. She wished she could muster more enthusiasm for the changes everything would bring, but she just couldn’t do it.
She felt more alone than before, particularly since Will was no longer by her side. They had barely spoken since boarding the ship. He afforded her the same courtesy as before, the same civility and care, but everything between them had changed. And once again he seemed to prefer to keep her at arm’s length, rather than allowing any further closeness between them.
It was too late, however. Her feelings for Will were getting into deeper waters, to the point where it robbed her of the ability to think properly. It confused and frightened her as she tried in vain to ignore her feelings and push them aside.
The truth was that Isabel missed Will and the sense of comradery that they had shared along this journey thus far. She felt heartsick every time she glimpsed at him and it didn’t help that she had lurid dreams about him every night, reliving their night of passion. She would wake in the morning in a state of confusion, hot and agitated, her body hankering for his touch.
But mayhap he had the right of it, mayhap the best way for her to overcome these unsolicited feelings was to put as much distance between them as possible. She must do everything she could to protect herself from becoming any closer to Will. It would never do.
She stroked Perdu, who was curled beside her as the ship jostled them about. ‘What do you think?’ she asked, to which the dog replied with a bark. ‘Yes, me, too. I wish things could be how they were before. But I’m happy to have you for company, little one.’
The vessel continued to jolt them about in every direction, making Isabel feel a little queasy. Goodness, what was going on?
As if in answer, she heard footsteps approaching and Will abruptly pulled the fabric screen aside.
‘There are dark clouds ahead, Isabel—the skipper predicts a storm!’ he said urgently. ‘Grab the rigging ropes above you and tie them around your wrists. Tightly.’
‘What are you going to do?’
‘Assist the seamen where I can. It’s going to get very bumpy.’
‘W-Will?’ she stammered. ‘Be careful.’
He gave her a curt nod and rushed out.
Isabel sprang into action just as the ship swayed, dipped down and jerked to the side, throwing her off balance. She grabbed the little dog as well as the line of rigging that had been extended for this very purpose and did as Will had advised, winding it around her wrist a few times and tying it tightly. She said a silent prayer for Will and the seamen who were risking their lives to keep the ship watertight—and more importantly upright—so that they could pass through it safely.
The sea became progressively choppier and more turbulent as they tried to navigate around the eye of the storm. She could hear men shout over the gathering assault, as feet and hands pounded on the deck.
Just then the vessel tilted suddenly, hurling Perdu out of her arms. He slipped away from her, whining in distress.
Oh, God, no! Not the innocent little animal. She had to do something.
Untying the rope from her wrist, she dashed after him, pulling aside the hanging fabric, her eyes darting in every direction trying to see where he had gone. Her poor little dog tried in vain to scamper back to her, but kept losing its grip on the deck. Isabel clambered after him, as the wind whipped up and the rain thrashed down, impeding her progress.
‘Come on boy, come back to me!’ she shouted over the din, but it was useless. Just when she had given up all hope the dog managed to scurry and paw close enough for Isabel to make a grab for him.
‘Oh, thank God. I’ve got you, boy,’ she muttered as she nestled her face in his fur. It was then that she noticed how far she had managed to stagger away from the stern of the boat and it was also at that very moment that Will noticed her.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’ he shouted over the deafening noise, the worry palpable in his voice. Before she could give him an answer the ship jerked violently, tipping sideways and thrusting her with great force in the air. She saw the look of horror flash across Will’s face before he sprang into action and dived to catch her. But the elements continued to pull her, hurling her further away.
This new cog ship was designed with higher wooden sides, as the skipper had been proud to point out, but the force of the storm was so strong that it pushed Isabel over. She hung on to the secondary rim of the vessel with one hand, the other clutching Perdu.
Suddenly Will was there above her, grabbing her hand. She was lucky that the ship had straightened and the seas were momentarily calmer, otherwise they would both have been swept away.
‘Give me both your hands, Isabel,’ he shouted.
‘I can’t.’ She shook her head, knowing that she couldn’t allow Perdu to perish, just so she could live.
‘Isabel!’ he bellowed. ‘I can’t hold on like this, for God’s sake!’
She couldn’t let go. It went against everything she believed in to sacrifice another living being. An innocent animal. Sensing that this was not the time to press his point, Will tried another tack. He yanked her up with every ounce of strength he had and pulled her back on to the deck.
‘Thank God,’ he muttered, just as she had moments ago, along with an oath that she hadn’t. With one protective arm around her, Will used his body to shelter Isabel as they all staggered back to the stern of the boat, while the rest of the crew continued to battle with keeping the ship from careening off course.
Will yanked the fabric screen back and helped her inside, her body shivering uncontrollably.
‘Hold on to the rigging rope,’ he insisted. ‘And you have to get out of those clothes.’ She realised then t
hat she was soaked through, as was everything that had been left on the floor around her.
‘Go... I’ll...do...it...mysel—’ But she couldn’t get the words out, her fingers stiff as they fumbled to remove her clothing.
‘Allow me,’ he said gruffly as she tried to swat away his hands. Taking no notice of her, he started to help peel the sodden clothes off as she trembled from the cold...as well as from his touch. But then, this was quite different from the last time his hands had touched her. Isabel grappled to cover herself and turned around as Will steadied her with a hand to the shoulder. He passed her satchel to her, which was thankfully dry.
‘Now, if you don’t mind telling me what the devil you thought you were doing there?’
She grabbed some clothes out of her bag and slipped on a long linen shift with her back still to him, feeling it whisper down her clammy body as she reached for her brown woollen kirtle. ‘I couldn’t let Perdu go, not if I... I could save him.’
‘And so you put yourself in danger instead.’
She turned around to meet his furious gaze. ‘As you did for me?’
‘That,’ he said curtly, ‘is not the same thing. I have a duty to protect you. For pity’s sake, Isabel, you could have been swept away!’
‘I know, I know. I’m sorry, Will.’
He rubbed his forehead in obvious exasperation. ‘Don’t you realise how damn close that was?’
‘I do, but I had to try to save him. I couldn’t just let him wash away and drown. I just couldn’t...’
He let out a shaky breath and pulled her against his chest, wrapping her in his embrace. ‘That was the most reckless, frightening thing you have ever done, Isabel de Clancey, not that I’m really surprised. For a moment I thought...’ He choked, unable, it seemed, to finish what he was going to say. ‘Don’t you ever do that to me again. Do you hear?’
‘Utterly and completely.’
He hugged her closer. ‘Ah, Christ, woman...what you do to me.’
Her Banished Knight's Redemption--The follow-up to award-winning story the Rebel Heiress and the Knight Page 16
