by Riley Ashby
“He texted me.” His beautiful eyebrows came together in the center of his head, mouth turning down further as he thought. “Said he’d had to leave to take care of the problem.”
“Sounds like he was looking out for me.”
That earned me a scowl. “Why are you so ready to absolve him? You could have been … hurt.”
I held a fry in front of his face. After a moment, he opened his mouth to pluck it from my fingers. “I don’t know. I don’t think I could handle it if I found out he was playing both sides. It’s already hard enough to know who to trust.”
“You don’t trust me?” He killed the headlights as he pulled onto his father’s property, slowing in order to make it back to his house without hitting any trees or going off the road.
“What do you think?” I licked my fingers before wiping them along my jeans, then grabbed my candy. “You’re not honest with yourself, let alone me.”
We sat in the garage for a few minutes while I finished eating, Meyer drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. “You’re coming with me from now on. I can’t leave you alone.”
“What, you expect me to sit around your office for eight hours every day while you make plans to drop bombs on innocent people?”
“That’s exactly what you’ll do.” He flipped off the car and got out, clearly expecting me to follow him. I frowned at myself. Why didn’t I flee when I had the chance?
Because if he didn’t find me, someone else would have.
My door opened, and he leaned inside the car, grabbing my garbage off the floor and then offering me his hand. I ignored it, only to be pushed back against the car the moment both my feet were on the ground.
“When are you going to give in to me?” he growled, picking up my legs and hooking them over his hips so I was forced to grab his neck. His teeth dug into my collarbone.
“I won’t.”
He bit me harder.
“Meyer! Cut it out!”
I had to steady myself against him as he dropped me back to the ground, turning his back on me as he stalked inside. I stared after him agape. “Hey! Don’t walk away from me!”
“Make up your mind, Maddie.”
I kicked off his shoes as I ran inside, slipping across the hard floors in his giant socks. Had his feet always been this big? “Why did you start calling me that?” I followed him into the living room with the fireplace, unsurprised to find him pouring a drink. But I hesitated when he held the glass out to me.
He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t want any?”
I bit my lip. “Why are you offering?”
He shrugged and looked away. “I took you out to dinner. Now we’re having a drink.”
I laughed and took the glass. “You’re calling that a date? You took me to get the morning after pill because you—”
“Don’t.” He set down the glass he was pouring for himself and took my arm, pulling me against him. “Don’t talk about what we did unless you want me to do it again right now.”
His eyes burned into me, and I believed he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from carrying me to his bedroom and taking us all the way. I nodded and took a sip. He stared at me a moment longer before releasing me and picking up his own glass. “Let’s sit.”
He turned on the gas fireplace but then shoved the armchairs sitting in front of it aside and dragged over the low couch instead, positioning it a little farther back from the flames than the chairs had been. I guessed the heat made him uncomfortable, but he seemed mesmerized by the fire. We sat next to each other, his hand dragging lazily up and down my left thigh while we sipped.
“That’s how I’ve always thought of you. My Maddie.” He didn’t look at me as he spoke, staring instead at the amber liquid we were drinking. “I only called you Mads because it pissed you off. The night I took the pills, I figured there was nothing left to lose. I wanted to call you that at least once.”
I twisted my feet underneath me, my knees resting on his thigh as I turned to face him. “Why was it so important to piss me off at first?”
A shrug. “I wanted to punish you. For having something I never did.”
My mother’s face flashed in my mind. I tried to imagine her with Meyer as a child, teaching him the alphabet and how to count. Crying the first day he went off to school. Helping him with his homework. “You gave her a reason to be happy here.”
“Then why didn’t she stay?”
The glass paused partway to my lips. “Are you seriously asking that?”
“She didn’t need to be so difficult with Conrad. Maybe if she’d tried a little—”
I threw my drink in his face. His free hand lashed out to grab my wrist, squeezing until I dropped the glass. “Was that necessary?”
“Fuck you. You of all people should know better than to say something like that.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He let me go only to shove me away, and I stood to get away from him. He wiped one hand across his face, eyes blazing again with simmering anger. Violence he kept barely tamped down, even after what we’d just gone through
“I told you, Meyer, this act is getting old. You have to know my mom wasn’t living with you because she wanted to. She was a teenager!”
“She was old enough to make her own choices, just like you are now.” His golden hair shimmered as he finished his drink and stood, turning off the fireplace and dousing us in darkness. “You can sleep on the floor again tonight.”
“I don’t want to lie next to you anyway!” I shouted at his back as he went toward his bedroom, frustrated by how ineffectual my words seemed. What, as if he was really going to sleep without me? He wanted to attach us at the hip. I slumped back into the couch and folded my arms, wishing I had a blanket. No way was I going to lay on the floor and give him the chance to offer me the bed in exchange for a blow job or an apology. I wasn’t sure which I would prefer.
*
Sounds from the kitchen woke me the next morning, and I opened my eyes to a steaming cup of coffee on the floor near where my head was laying. Meyer looked down at me as he sipped his own, already dressed and ready for the day. I sat up halfway and reached for the coffee, only for him to tip it over with his toe at the last second. I glared.
“Childish much?”
“I told you to sleep on the floor.”
“Fuck off.” I rose to my feet and stomped to the bedroom, realizing halfway there that I was still wearing his socks. I hopped on one foot and then the other as I pulled them off, throwing them back in his direction. “Aren’t you going to be late?”
“You’re the one who slept in.” He glanced at his watch as he followed me to the bedroom, ignoring the socks. “There are some skirts and blouses in the closet. I told you, you’re coming with me.”
I grumbled as I made my way to the closet, finding the clothes just as he said near the back, all with the tags still on. “You’ve had these for a while?”
“Since you got here. I told you, I never intended to let you leave.”
Grabbing a black skirt and white long-sleeved blouse, I stalked to the closet door and closed it in his face so I could change. When I stepped out a few minutes later, he was standing in the same position with a new cup of coffee in his hand, which he extended toward me. I took it with the tips of my fingers, wondering if he was going to throw it on me.
He grinned. “Don’t worry. No tit for tat, not with something that would burn you. I might come on your face later tonight, though.”
“You will do no such thing. Let’s get the fuck out of here.”
“You don’t want makeup?”
“Nope. Bare minimum. Not like I’m going to see anyone I care about.”
He shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
I followed him to the car, keeping a good distance back so that he had to pause and look over his shoulder a couple of times to make sure I was following. “Do I get to eat?”
“I already did. Get a granola bar if you’re hungry. You snooze, you l
ose.”
I grumbled as I snagged a bar and then joined him in the garage, where he opened my door for me despite my glare. We rode to the office in silence, me doing my best to drop granola crumbs all over his precious car and him sipping his coffee silently while weaving in and out of traffic. If they weren’t moving fast enough for him, he simply pulled onto the shoulder and drove along until he found another place to slip in. At one point, we passed a police car, and I braced, expecting sirens and lights, but there was no movement behind us. When I looked at Meyer, he was smirking.
“Seriously? Even the beat cops?”
“Even the beat cops.” He looked far too proud of himself. It made me sick to my stomach.
At his office, he mostly ignored me. His pretty assistant tried to introduce herself to me, but he barked at her to cancel whatever meetings she could and hold his calls. By lunchtime, I was going out of my mind, only able to amuse myself for so long with random tours around his office.
“I want to go out to lunch,” I announced, hoping I sounded authoritative.
“No.” He didn’t even look up from his computer.
“There’s a restaurant—”
“I said no.” Finally, he looked at me, eyes flitting over my form before coming to my face. “We’ll have something brought in here. That’s what I always do.”
“I’m going mad in here. I need something to do.”
The door opened behind us, and I jumped back. Meyer was out of his chair and around the desk with his arm in front of me before we realized it was a young man and not Conrad stepping through the door.
“Whoa,” he said, seeing Meyer’s wide defensive stance. “Did I interrupt something?”
Meyer relaxed and let his arm drop, stepping back to stand beside me. “You didn’t knock.”
“I never do.” He smiled and waved me. “Hi, Madeline.”
“Who is this?” I whispered to Meyer, but the office wasn’t so large that the man certainly didn’t hear what I was saying.
“I’m Shawn.” He stepped toward me with his hand outstretched. “We met a couple of weeks ago at that charity auction, but you were pretty plastered.” As he turned to Meyer, his smile grew wider. “I heard you ended up with a horse.”
“Much to my dismay,” Meyer affirmed. One of his hands dropped to the small of my back, and I leaned into him slightly before I remembered I was mad at him. I took a step toward Shawn and smiled wide.
“We’re just about to go to lunch. Would you like to join us?”
“Sure!” Shawn exclaimed at the same time Meyer interjected, “The hell we are.”
Meyer continued at the confused look on Shawn’s face, “We’re eating in. Tell Jessica to order some steak.”
Shawn rubbed his hands together with excitement. “Hell, yeah. Friday afternoon steak!”
The food arrived twenty minutes later, and the tension on Meyer’s jaw eased the more he spoke with his friend. By the way that Shawn repeatedly clapped him on the shoulder or leaned toward him suddenly when he got excited, I guessed he wasn’t aware of the dynamic between Meyer and his father. Meyer hid his flinches well, but his fingers twitched into a fist every time Shawn touched him.
I was sitting next to Meyer at a small table Jessica had brought in with the food, and I set down my knife to let my left hand drop out of sight. Meyer put his hand on the arm of his chair, and I linked my fingertips loosely with his. He looked at me briefly before resuming his conversation with Shawn.
“…so you’ll definitely want to be there. We tasted some of the desserts last night. It’s going to be a great party.”
My fingers fell from Meyer’s as I shook myself out of my daydream. “Wait, what party?”
“The one he’s been talking about for the past fifteen minutes,” Meyer said, giving me the side-eye. “Was your steak that good?”
His foot hooked around mine beneath the table and pulled my leg against his. I bit my lip to try to control the flush in my cheeks. “I guess I’m just a little out of it.”
“Well, get it together for tomorrow. Should be a hell of a night.” Shawn looked back at Meyer. “I invited your sister.”
Meyer groaned and tossed his napkin on the table. “Really, Shawn?”
“It’s a big house! You’ll barely see each other.”
“I don’t want to see you necking her, either. Whatever you want to get yourself into, keep it out of my sight.”
“Aye, aye.” Shawn executed a mock salute and then stood. “I should get back to my inbox. Come over whenever you want tomorrow. Maddie, it was a pleasure to meet you for real.”
My head snapped up at the nickname. He frowned.
“Sorry, that’s what Meyer calls you. Do you not like that?”
“No, it’s okay.” Meyer grabbed my hand again and squeezed. “You just caught me off guard. No one calls me that but him.”
“How romantic.” He smiled dryly. “I’ll catch you later. Have a good rest of the day.”
I dropped Meyer’s hand and stood the moment the door closed behind Shawn, wiping my hand on my dress as I paced across the room. “People think this is normal.”
“That was the entire point. You knew that.”
I pressed my fingertips into my eyes, trying to sort through my conflicting thoughts and emotions. I wished even harder that I’d run when I had the keys to a fast car within reach. “You’re a monster.”
“So you keep telling me.” His palm landed too low on my back, sliding down to cup my ass while his other hand brushed the hair away from my neck and pressed a kiss there. “But I still have you.” He reached behind me to his desk and pulled something from his bag, then pressed it into my hand. When I looked down, I saw a packet of pills in individual blister packs. “Start these today, by the way. We don’t need any more clandestine trips to the pharmacy.”
Slapping his hands away, I went back to his desk and dropped into a chair there. “Get your work done so we can go to your house. I don’t want another fucking person to see us and think we’re in love.”
Meyer
She didn’t want to go to the party, and I knew that. I didn’t want to go either. But there was no making excuses for Shawn, not this time. I had bailed on several of his more recent events, claiming too much work or a migraine that wouldn’t go away. Usually, those nights ended with me drinking myself to a blackout in my house, Joshua following me around to make sure I didn’t fall down the stairs or get lost in the woods. But I hadn’t been out with Madeline in weeks. If I wanted Conrad to believe I was in control of the plan I’d drawn up before we took her, there had to be another appearance. I’d let Eva get under my skin, first showing up at my house, then my office, and it had nearly killed me. With the new drugs in my system, I was starting to feel less anxious and depressed even though none of my problems had actually been fixed. My clarity had returned, thanks to the pills, or perhaps, it was because Maddie had finally let me in, if only partially.
She slept next to me on Friday night—or pretended to. Every time I reached to touch her face, she blinked her eyes open to stare at me, moonlight glinting off her irises.
“Aren’t you tired?” Her whisper carried in the silence as loud in the room as any gunshot.
“Not enough to miss this.” I slid my fingers through her hair to the back of her head, pulling her body against mine. She kissed me with her eyes open, never looking away as I shifted one leg between hers and pressed her into the mattress with my body.
“Don’t fuck me.”
“Who says I want to?”
She smirked before rolling her hips forward, her mound grinding against my stiffening rod. “He does.”
I chuckled, then kissed her until she kissed me back. She pushed against my shoulders, forcing me onto my back, before throwing one leg over me and sitting up. Her hand traced down my bare chest.
“I’m not going to that party.”
“We’ll see about that.”
I held her hips and rubbed against her core until we
both came, and she collapsed onto my chest before finally falling asleep.
Despite her reluctance to attend, Maddie behaved perfectly, her hand in the crook of my arm while she smiled and made conversation with everyone who came to speak with us. She drank in moderation, not drowning herself in booze as she had before, and she didn’t try to make any backhanded comments. Anita stayed on the other side of the room, practically hanging on Shawn, but she and Maddie smiled at each other frequently.
I drifted off to find the bathroom, and when I returned, she wasn’t where I’d left her despite telling her not to go anywhere. I stalked the house, my panic rising at the thought that Conrad or Joshua had finally made off with her, only to find her outside on the porch. She could barely be seen in the dark, but when I stepped outside, the motion sensor lights clicked on and sent long shadows into the darkness. Her shoulders were hunched up to her ears, and she shivered violently in the night air. I cleared my throat to let her know I was there.
“It’s cold out here.”
She stopped her trembling briefly before hugging herself tighter. “I hadn’t noticed.”
“Liar. You have goose bumps.”
She scowled at me over her shoulder. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Yet here we are.” I stripped off my jacket and laid it around her shoulders. She shrugged it to the ground. I sighed and kicked it to the side before wrapping myself around her, my arms over hers.
“Get off me,” she said, pushing back, but I was solid in the face of her defiance. I set my chin on her shoulder, trying to recreate the moments we’d shared so far, the openness that had led her to kiss me, to allow me between her legs. She’d been so close to letting me in then, right on the edge of giving herself over for good.
Shawn lived on the edge of a man-made lake, surrounded by tall trees that were older than either of us. Moonlight glinted off the calm water, and a gentle breeze rustled what was left of the leaves in the trees. An owl hooted. The moon was only half full and low in the sky. The motion sensor lights clicked off, and it was suddenly even darker. I dipped my head and pressed my lips against the curve of her shoulder. She was colder than I’d ever felt her. My arms tightened as I tried to give her whatever small amount of body heat I could.
