“Sixteen?” Gustav howled, as the four bards began singing together. “SIXTEEN?”
Gustav seemed as if he were about to tackle all the bards and snap their mandolins with his teeth, but Liam and Frederic held him back.
“Well, now what?” Frederic asked.
“Rauber’s long gone, I’m sure,” Liam said mournfully.
“And we’re laughingstocks again,” Gustav grumbled.
“It’s a disaster,” Liam said. “Where do we go from here?”
“Someplace where people like us?” Duncan suggested with a cautious grin.
Frederic’s eyes brightened. “You’re right,” he said. “I know just where we should go.”
EPILOGUE
PRINCE CHARMING GOES WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS HIS NAME
Liam, Frederic, Gustav, and Duncan stepped across the threshold of the Stumpy Boarhound and were greeted by a raucous round of applause (cheering that got even louder when Ella entered as well).
“Oh, we were so hopin’ you would come back,” Ripsnard the bartender said jubilantly.
“I take it you’ve heard the new song about us?” Liam asked.
“Heard it? Business has been booming because of it,” Ripsnard said. He pointed to a hand-painted sign that hung over the bar between a dented shield and a mounted yeti head. It read: THE STUMPY BOARHOUND—BIRTHPLACE OF THE LEAGUE OF PRINCES. “To be truthful, we sorta owe you guys.”
“Yeah, I’ve gotten dozens of new recruits for me crew in the past week,” the bearded pirate chimed in. “When gawkers pop in to check out the official League of Princes Founding Table back there in the corner, I flash ’em me gappy smile and say, ‘Yep, that tooth got knocked out by Prince Gustav the Mighty.’”
Gustav grinned.
“Well, this is what we wanted, right?” Frederic said as dozens of the Boarhound’s regulars swarmed them for autographs. “A hero’s welcome?”
“Yeah, but what happens when they find out about what went down at the parade?” Liam asked as he signed the handle of a thief’s dagger.
“Ya mean the Bandit King swipin’ yer statue right out from under ya?” the pirate asked.
“You know about that already?” Ella asked. “That happened this morning.”
“News travels fast,” said Ripsnard.
“They know about it and they still like us,” Duncan said, high-fiving the half-ogre thug.
“Oh, sure,” Ripsnard said. “’Cause we know a bunch of guys as tough as yerselves ain’t gonna let an insult like that go unanswered. We’re all eager to see what happens next.”
The princes exchanged glances.
“So are we,” said Liam.
Duncan sat down at the Official League Founding Table, pulled out a sheaf of paper and a quill, and began writing.
Gustav goggled at him in exasperated disbelief. “Where in the world did you get all that—ah, never mind.”
“What are you doing, Duncan?” Frederic asked.
“Writing a book,” Duncan replied. “These good people have given me an idea. Now that I am officially a hero, I believe it’s my responsibility to share my knowledge of heroics with the world—to offer some wisdom and advice to any other young men and women who might find themselves needing to save their kingdoms someday.”
“Some sort of handbook for would-be adventurers?” Frederic asked with a raised eyebrow.
Duncan nodded.
“And you think you’re the one to write it?” Gustav asked.
“Oh, I’d be very happy for any input you fellows are willing to give as well,” Duncan replied.
“Duncan, I think all four—or five—of us have a whole lot left to learn when it comes to being a hero,” Liam said.
“So it’ll be a work in progress,” Duncan responded, as he scribbled out the title of his book: PRINCE CHARMING’S GUIDE TO SAVING YOUR KINGDOM.
“Hey, take it from me, you never know what direction life’s going to take you in,” Ella said. “I’d be happy to add my two bits. But call it ‘The Hero’s Guide.’”
“I suppose contributing to a work of literature is much more my speed than storming a witch’s fortress anyway,” Frederic added.
“I think you’re wasting your time,” Gustav said.
The bearded pirate stepped up and slapped a handful of gold pieces down on the table in front of Duncan. “I’ll be wantin’ ten copies as soon as the writin’ of ’em’s been done.”
The princes looked at one another.
“Putting our names on something like that,” Liam said, “it’ll be a lot to live up to.”
Frederic smiled. “So let’s live up to it.”
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Much like the princes, I couldn’t have done it alone. Endless thanks go to Noelle Howey, my secret weapon. I can’t say how lucky I am to be married to one of the best writers and editors alive. I get love, support, and expert literary advice all in one place. I can’t even count how many plot holes, inconsistencies, and awful jokes my readers were spared thanks to Noelle’s keen insight and good taste. We all owe her, really.
I also need to thank my daughter, Bryn, who, in addition to being the inspiration for Lila, also functioned as my test audience and was never afraid to say, “This part could be better, Dad.” Thanks also to her brother, Dashiell, for remaining a solid fan despite his unhappiness with the book’s lack of ninjas.
Gratitude must be expressed to my agents, the always supportive Jill Grinberg, who urged me to go for it when I first mentioned this whole Prince Charming idea, and the incredible Cheryl Pientka, who worked enough magic in getting this book sold to make me feel like I was in a fairy tale myself.
And a heaping helping of encomiums to Walden Pond’s Jordan Brown, who championed this book from the moment he read it and always pushed me to improve it. Working with Jordan has been a crash course in creating middle-grade fiction. And a whole lot of fun, to boot. To have an editor with such boundless enthusiasm and energy—not to mention one who knows his stuff so well—has been an amazing experience.
Last but not least, thanks to everyone who read Hero’s Guide in its earlier incarnations and provided priceless feedback: Neil Sklar, Ivan Cohen, Christine Howey, Brad Barton, Evan Narcisse, and Katelyn Detweiler. Every note and comment made a difference.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CHRISTOPHER HEALY spent years reviewing children’s books and media online and in print before setting off to write THE HERO’S GUIDE TO SAVING YOUR KINGDOM, his first children’s book. He lives with his wife and their two children in New Jersey.
You can find him online at www.christopherhealy.com.
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CREDITS
Cover art © 2012 by Todd Harris
Title lettering by David Coulson
Cover design by Amy Ryan
COPYRIGHT
Walden Pond Press is an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.
Walden Pond Press and the skipping stone logo are trademarks and registered trademarks of
Walden Media, LLC.
The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom
Text copyright © 2012 by Christopher Healy
Illustrations copyright © 2012 by Todd Harris
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN 978-0-06-211743-4
EPub Edition © APRIL 2012 ISBN
9780062117441
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First Edition
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