Wes stood talking to one of Cain’s rangers, so this couldn’t be about Pa. Had there been more rustler activity? Maybe their cowhands had gotten into a gunfight with the outlaws?
Shadows haunted the ranger’s eyes, but they were small in comparison to the agony wreathing Wes’s face.
“What’s wrong?” she asked through a throat that had turned too dry to properly form words. “Did someone die?”
Wes turned to her and held out his arms, and she found herself moving into them.
“Daniel, Aimes, and Lenard Cunningham were attacked while staking out Closed Canyon tonight.” Wes’s voice emerged low and gritty. “Aimes and Cunningham are dead, and the doc doesn’t know if Daniel will live through the night.”
“Not Daniel.” She clutched Wes’s chest.
Daniel had been with her only hours ago. She could still feel the way he’d held her in his arms, the way his lips had melted against hers. She had so much to tell him, about her refusal to marry Andrew, about Pa’s scheming, all of it.
He couldn’t die on her.
25
“I thought you were going home.”
At the sound of the soft, feminine voice, Charlotte blinked her tired eyes open only to find herself staring at Daniel’s still body where it lay on the bed in Doc Grubbins’s sickroom. She held her breath for a moment, watching Daniel’s chest for the faint rise and fall that indicated he still breathed. There it was, smooth and even, though the rest of him lay as still as death.
“Did you fall asleep?” The voice again.
Charlotte glanced toward the doorway. Anna Mae stood there, looking like an angel sent from heaven in her pale blue dress, the waves of her glossy black hair cascading down her back.
Charlotte stared down at her own wrinkled dress. She wasn’t about to think of the state her hair was in. The pins she’d hastily shoved into her tresses after finding out Daniel had been injured hadn’t even kept her hair in place on the ride into town, and that had been over twenty-four hours ago.
She’d only intended to sit beside Daniel by herself for a few moments last night. There’d been some things she needed to say to him, even if he couldn’t hear her, and she hadn’t wanted an audience. She must have dozed off somewhere around the dozenth time she told him she loved him and apologized for not listening to what he’d had to say about love and marriage.
“Charlotte?” Anna Mae stepped farther into the room. “Are you all right? When was the last time you ate something?”
Charlotte lifted her shoulders in a shrug—or at least she tried to, but she was so tired it seemed even her shoulders had forgotten how to work.
“I already talked to Doc Grubbins. He said he’s going to keep Daniel on the laudanum for another day or so, seeing…” Anna Mae’s eyes flickered to Daniel, and something in her voice caught, causing her words to fall away.
Charlotte couldn’t blame her friend. Her own thoughts fled every time she looked at the clean white bandage that covered half of Daniel’s head, every time she ran her eyes down the body that lay far too still beneath the quilt Doc Grubbins had supplied.
A cracked skull.
No way to tell how severe the damage is until he wakes up.
Might not ever wake up.
Might not walk again.
Might have to learn how to talk all over again.
Might be perfectly fine.
Doc Grubbins had kept him under a dose of laudanum, assuring them that it was best to keep Daniel sedated and give his brain a chance to heal from any internal injury it might have received.
Charlotte didn’t know enough about medicine to argue with Doc Grubbins over the laudanum, but sitting in the room with him, watching him lie so still while she wondered if he’d ever wake up, was the most torturous thing she’d ever done.
There’d been no waiting when Ma and Perseus had died, just news of the carriage accident, glimpses of their injured bodies, and unbearable grief. But at least she’d known right away. Just like she and Wes and everyone else had known for certain when Abigail died.
Charlotte felt a tear slip down her cheek, one of what must have been thousands since she’d arrived. She didn’t bother to reach up and wipe it away.
“What if he doesn’t ever wake up?” she whispered more to herself than Anna Mae.
“Don’t say that.” Anna Mae knelt beside her and gripped her hand, her deep brown eyes shining with unshed tears. “The doc says there’s a good chance the damage was only to his skull and that his brain is fine. Remember? He said it might even be good that his skull got cracked because it could help relieve pressure in his brain.”
“Sure, I remember. Right along with Doc Grubbins saying there’s a good chance his brain was injured enough that he won’t ever wake up. Or maybe he will wake up, but he won’t be able to talk or walk or be the person that I… I…” A fresh round of tears clogged her throat.
“That you love?”
Charlotte nodded. She hadn’t come out and told anyone else her feelings. But between her lack of sleep and endless tears, she’d probably given herself away to half the town. “Yes, I love him. But I realized it too late, didn’t I?”
“It’s not too late. The doc is going to patch him up. You’ll see.” The threat of tears sounded in Anna Mae’s voice.
“I’m not marrying Andrew Mortimer. I told Wes and Pa at my party, before Daniel had even been injured. I love Daniel too much to ever see myself happy with another man.”
Anna Mae squeezed her hand, though she still kneeled beside her. “Then that just means you’ll be here waiting when Daniel awakens, and we’ll all be celebrating a wedding in another month.”
“There won’t be a wedding.” Charlotte tugged her hand away and ran her eyes over Daniel. “Daniel doesn’t feel that way toward me.”
“He does, too. He told me so.”
She shook her head. “No, he doesn’t. That was the last conversation we had at my party, right before he was injured. We kissed, and I told him that I had feelings for him, and he… he turned me away.” She could still hear the words ringing in her ears.
You don’t have feelings for me, Charlotte. You can’t… This was all supposed to be practice.
“You must have misunderstood.” Anna Mae’s voice was soft against the already quiet room. “He loves you.”
“I didn’t misunderstand. He made his opinion about a future with me quite clear.” And yet she couldn’t make herself leave his side.
“It’s because of the horses, isn’t it?”
At the sound of the male voice, Charlotte turned to find Wes standing in the doorway.
Anna Mae pushed herself to a standing position. “He might have said something about that. Um… I believe his exact words were that he loved her too much to ask her to give up her horses for him.”
Charlotte shook her head. Daniel had clearly told her she needed to go back to the ball with Andrew and put any thoughts of him from her head. “My horses don’t have anything to do with how he feels about me.”
“Are you talking about my son?” Another voice sounded from the doorway, and Charlotte looked over to find Daniel’s mother had stepped into the room, her dark hair plaited into a thick braid that fell over one of her shoulders. The crooked way the skirt hung on her hips said she’d been in too much of a hurry to look in the mirror before rushing out the door of their house and down to the doctor’s.
Doc Grubbins must have hung a sign outside his office.
Charlotte’s heart is breaking. Come inside and watch.
“He’s loved you for forever, dear. Made himself miserable with it these past few months.” Mrs. Harding sent her a gentle smile.
“Did he tell you that?”
“He didn’t have to. It was obvious just from watching him.”
She sniffled and wiped a tear from her cheek. “Then why did he tell me we can’t be together?”
“The horses.” Both Anna Mae and Wes spoke in unison.
Charlotte dropped her head to
her hands. “I love Daniel more than my horses.”
But how would he know that?
Her feelings for Daniel had started slowly. In fact, she couldn’t really say when they’d first appeared. Perhaps it had been the day the two of them had danced at the Independence Day ball. She’d stepped on his foot two times, but he’d just given her that patient smile of his and kept right on dancing. Or maybe her feelings had started that day she’d danced with him in his palor while Anna Mae played the piano. Or everything had begun when she’d spilled coffee all over his desk. She’d been upset, but he’d carried his chair clear around the desk to sit beside her, then held her hand and told her he thought she was beautiful.
Or maybe her feelings had started before that. She’d known him all her life. Could she have always felt a little something special for him but been too scared to act on it?
She gave her head a slight shake. Exactly when her feelings had started didn’t matter nearly as much as that she’d ignored them because she’d been too afraid to consider where they were leading.
Because she’d been terrified of Daniel rejecting her.
Because part of her had been worried her father would still try to finagle a marriage between her and Andrew, even if she would have come straight out and said she didn’t want to marry him.
Because Daniel had told her straight out that she needed to let her father and Wes know about what happened with Robbie and the rustled cattle, and if the two of them were going to have a relationship, she would have had to tell her family.
“Excuse me. I think I need some air.” She stood from her chair and walked to the door, then across the empty parlor where people usually waited to see Doc Grubbins. She rushed outside and caught herself on the porch railing, bracing her arms on either side of her body.
Daniel had told her God would forgive her for getting involved with Robbie. Daniel had told her God’s grace would be sufficient for however Wes and Pa reacted after she told them how Robbie had used her. Daniel had told her to tell her family the truth more times than she could count.
But she hadn’t listened, and she hadn’t trusted that God’s grace would be sufficient. Instead she’d let her mistake with Robbie dictate her choices.
There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
Neither she nor Daniel had believed that verse applied to her, but the truth was, she’d done what seemed right to her and ignored what God said in His Word, and though she hadn’t caused Daniel’s injury, the man she loved might well die. Neither of them should have been so quick to discount the principles in that verse. It applied to the situation more than they’d realized.
“Father, forgive me,” she whispered into the morning air. “Forgive me for not trusting Your grace. Forgive me for not telling my family the truth sooner. Forgive me for doing what seemed right to me and letting my past failures control my thoughts and actions.”
She hung her head and continued her prayer. Begging the God of eternal mercy to forgive her. Begging Him to spare Daniel’s life, begging Him to ease her pa’s passing. She didn’t know how long she stood on the porch, her body slumped against one of the posts, her head bent while the pinks and yellows of dawn crept over the desert. She only knew that she cried out to God over and over again. It was something she should have done from the beginning, something she should have done as soon as she’d learned of Robbie’s deception.
The door to the doctor’s office closed behind her, and she looked up.
“Hey…” Wes came toward her, his voice gentle. “It’ll be all right. Daniel will wake up. You’ll see.”
She shook her head. If only it was as simple as Daniel waking up. If only she hadn’t spent the months leading up to his accident making a mess of things.
“And don’t fret about your horses.” Wes wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tugged her against his chest. “I meant what I said in Pa’s office. You’re welcome to stable and run your horses at the A Bar W for as long as you’d like. Reckon it’s only fair considering the number of quarter horses you’ve bred for the ranch over the years.”
“Thank you,” she croaked through a throat that ached from unshed tears.
She still didn’t know whether she could believe Anna Mae and Wes and Mrs. Harding about Daniel’s feelings for her, still didn’t know if her stubbornness and fear had messed things up between her and Daniel too badly for them to ever be repaired. But if everyone else was right and Daniel loved her…
And if he woke up…
And if his brain hadn’t been injured…
No, she wouldn’t let her mind go there. It seemed like too much to hope for.
26
Charlotte shielded her eyes against the glare of the sun and studied the flat rock in front of her. All she could see were memories of Robbie spreading the picnic blanket down for the two of them, Robbie telling her she looked beautiful, Robbie talking about how nice it would be to have his own spread of land and a few cattle.
“You all right?” Wes rode up beside her.
“Fine.” She forced her gaze away from the rock. Rangers on horses scattered over the area, all of them searching for clues about the rustlers.
Revisiting the places on the ranch where she’d gone with Robbie had been Cain’s idea. As soon as he’d learned from Wes that a rustler had schmoozed her, Cain wanted to know everything about the relationship and search all the places they’d spent time together.
Being out here meant leaving Daniel for an afternoon, but she’d sat by his side for almost a week, and though Doc Grubbins had slowly been reducing the amount of laudanum Daniel had, all he’d done was mumble a few incoherent phrases now and then. The doc said the mumbling was a good sign and that sometimes these things took time, especially if there was swelling inside Daniel’s brain. But to her way of thinking, each day Daniel remained unconscious made it more likely he’d never wake up.
“I don’t see anything that indicates cattle being moved around this spot.” Cain rode toward them, then reined his horse to a stop beside her and Wes.
Charlotte looked back out at the desert, though the landscape blurred before her. “Me neither.”
Had she realized just how hard it would be to look at the places where Robbie had once promised her a happy future, she might have told Cain no. She’d thought once she’d finally confessed what had happened with Robbie to Pa and Wes, she’d never have to talk about him again. But here she was, getting her nose rubbed in the biggest mistake of her life.
“Can you think of anywhere else you went with Robbie?” Wes’s voice was gentle, like what he would use for a skittish calf.
“There’s one last place.” She didn’t want to go there, had saved it for last hoping Cain would find whatever he was looking for elsewhere and she wouldn’t need to watch his men traipse all over it. “It’s by the creek on the northeast corner of the property.”
Cain called his rangers back to him, and they started for the far side of A Bar W land. The sun beat down on them as they trotted their horses over both well-packed trails and loose, rocky ground. Sweat beaded beneath the brim of her hat and gathered at the back of her neck while they rode. It took over an hour to reach the grassy mountain meadow with the small creek that meandered through it. The lone cottonwood by the creek offered the only bit of shade.
“There.” She nodded toward the tree but didn’t take Athena any nearer. She’d packed her bags the day she and Robbie had shared a picnic here, thinking that after they ate, they’d head north to the nearest town and find a preacher to marry them. She’d been ready for Robbie to make good on all his promises of a future together, but he’d only wanted—
“Are you sure you’re all right?” Wes nudged Ares closer to Athena.
“No.” She wasn’t sure she’d ever be all right, especially if Daniel never woke up.
“Charlie…”
“Don’t. There’s nothing you can do to make it better.”
His chest heav
ed in and out with a familiar sigh. “But I want to.”
“It was my poor choice to get involved with Robbie, and this is part of the consequences. We’re past the day where a hug and a peppermint stick can solve my problems.”
Cain’s men had already spread out over the desert, roaming the pristine landscape that probably hadn’t seen a single person since she and Robbie had visited months earlier. A handful of cattle meandered down the stream, but not even they were eager to trek this far north on the property.
“Captain!” One of the men galloped toward Cain, shouting over the thunder of his horses’ hooves. “I think I found something.”
“Yes siree!” another ranger whooped. “Better come see this!”
“Let’s go.” Wes urged Ares forward.
Charlotte dug her heels into Athena’s side, and the horse trotted over the desert toward the group of men gathered in front of the large wall of rock rising from the earth.
“It’s a really small crack, almost too narrow for a horse to get through.” One of the men was pointing toward a dark crevice in the sandstone cliff. “But there’s desert grass aplenty on the other side, and cattle, too.”
“Let’s see it,” Cain said.
“I can’t say whether the cattle are being penned there so the rustlers can sneak them over the border, or if they found the crack by accident.” The ranger turned his horse toward the crevice.
Several other rangers joined them as they picked their way over the rocky terrain. Like the man had said, the crack was nearly impossible to spot, but as soon as she entered the dark tunnel, light filtered through the other side.
“It would be awfully difficult for cattle to find a trail like this on their own.” Wes spoke from behind her. “I’m not saying it couldn’t happen, just that it’s not likely.”
Charlotte nudged her horse right up behind Cain’s and followed him through the darkness, only to find Athena standing on a small ridge with a valley spread below them.
And to find cattle. Lots and lots of cattle.
Tomorrow's Shining Dream Page 27
