At least, not until now.
He’d decided to take Gavin goading him into trying out the gym as a sign that it was time for him to finally carpe some diem and actually check some things off his goal list. Push himself out of his comfort zone. Do some of the things he kept putting off for “someday in the future.”
Or, at the very least, break out of the routine his life had fallen into lately.
Jeremy went out for drinks with friends now and then, rushed headlong into bad relationships on a regular basis, read too much, lived too little, and spent most of his waking hours doing just enough work at the bookstore he’d inherited to keep its doors open. And by “work,” he mostly meant quality checking—a.k.a. reading—all the books that he was supposed to be selling while hoping the rest of the business would sort itself out somehow. Jeremy knew his grandmother had meant well when she’d left Sir Reads-a-lot to him, but for all his lifelong love affair with the written word, he’d be the first to admit that running the store was a bit overwhelming at times.
He’d rather read the books than sell them.
And, though he’d never admitted it to anyone, write them.
And okay, fine, if he were being entirely honest, what he really wanted was to live them.
God, seriously, he knew that was half his problem when it came to his comically horrendous dating history. Storybook romance had spoiled him. He was too quick to try to see the man of his unrealistic dreams in every hot guy who looked his way, hoping with each one that he’d miraculously stumbled upon The One. Rationally, he knew it was foolish to think someone would live up to the standards set in fiction, but on the other hand, who wanted to live life strictly rationally?
In his heart of hearts, Jeremy just wanted to be special to someone. And, yes, he would be the first to admit that that sounded starry-eyed and cheesy—like a hopeless romantic—but it was still the truth. He wanted to live the sort of love story where he was the one person someone couldn’t live without.
But for now, nursing the tail end of a hangover from the night before and about to suffer through Day One of the New and Improved Jeremy, he’d have to make do with sugar and caffeine, since his love life had once again gone to shit.
As soon as Lucy ended her call, Jeremy pointed forlornly at the empty cinnamon roll tray in the pastry display case, giving her his best impression of puppy dog eyes.
“Are you trying to distract me from asking about this?” she asked, waving her hand to take in his new athletic gear as she tried not to laugh. “Those shoes look like they’re fresh out of the box.”
Jeremy rolled his eyes. She was right, but whatever. There were more important things to worry about at the moment than his sporty new look. Case in point, appeasing his sweet tooth.
“This is all Gavin’s fault,” Jeremy said, pointing at himself. “But the real question is, did you actually sell out of cinnamon rolls already, Luce?”
“You know we normally do by this time of day,” she said, winking and graciously accepting his change of subject. A true friend. “But luckily I got your message.”
“My… what?” he cocked his head, trying to sort through the slightly blurry memories of the night before.
Lucy grinned, fishing her cell phone out of a pocket while she steamed milk for the mocha he hadn’t had to ask for. She knew him too well, and her proactive approach to caffeinating him was just one of the many reasons Jeremy adored her. She held her phone out so he could read the screen.
Yes, it was a message from him, all right. Time stamped at 1:48 a.m.
Need cinn rolls, Luce. Nom-nom. Don’t let me down.
“Oh, God. I don’t even remember sending that,” he said, gratefully taking the mocha she handed him as she tucked her phone away again. He pulled out his own phone and found proof of the outgoing message. Not to mention… oops. “Looks like that wasn’t the only drunk text I sent last night,” he added sheepishly, taking a fortifying sip of the drink as he scrolled through the rest of his messages.
“Reid?” she asked, naming the most recent in his string of epically bad choices in men and the current catalyst for finally getting his shit together.
Lucy pulled a cinnamon roll out of hiding and slid it onto a plate for him. The woman was a goddess.
“Apparently, yes,” Jeremy confirmed, grimacing as he looked at his screen. “Among others. I don’t know what I was thinking. I vaguely remember Danny egging me on, but I’ve got nothing to offer in my defense except that it seemed like a good idea at the time. Also, cocktails.”
“Weren’t those the same excuses you used to explain that guy Eric a few months ago?” she teased.
“Which one was Eric?” Gavin asked, coming out of the back of the bakery, also dressed for the gym. “Was he the actor you dated, or the felon?”
“Ted was the felon,” Lucy said helpfully.
“That was ‘Tad,’ not Ted,” Gavin said, laughing. “Good Lord, as if I’d forget the name of the man who tried to rob this place. But I meant the other felon.”
Jeremy kept flipping through his phone while they discussed his failed love life, swiping through a series of increasingly embarrassing texts from the night before. He tried not to take himself too seriously in general, which was a good thing, because otherwise the cringeworthy electronic trail he’d blazed the night before might just force him to go hide under a rock for the rest of his life. In the name of preserving his dignity, he would have to remember to turn off his Wi-Fi and his phone data the next time he went out drinking with Danny. But, on the other hand—since he liked to consider himself a glass-half-full type of person—at least reviewing his text escapades gave him an excuse to tune out his friends while they rehashed the farce that was his dating history.
For all Jeremy’s eternal—and, to date, sadly unwarranted—faith in finding love, he’d honestly started to doubt whether the kind he dreamed of actually existed in the real world. Now, though, his two best friends had each managed to find their own versions of it. A fact which both gave him hope and—if he were honest—also made him all the more dissatisfied with his own life. Danny was recently married, and Gavin was engaged. They’d each become one half of a storybook-perfect couple, and while Jeremy was genuinely thrilled for them, sometimes being the odd man out made him feel, well, not “lonely”… exactly, but it definitely fanned the flames of his own desire to have someone special in his life.
Not, though, the kind of “special” that he normally tended to attract.
God.
Seriously.
Who ended up hooking up with not one, but two different criminals?
Not at the same time, of course. But still.
Or that guy Harv that he’d met just before Reid, who’d bought him drinks all night and then bragged about the letters of the alphabet he had tattooed on his arm. Apparently, Harv’s New Year’s resolution had been to fuck his way from A-Z.
Jeremy had declined to help him cross off the “J.”
Or Gary, who he’d met just after Danny’s wedding back in December, when his heart had still been swollen with dreamy, romantic optimism from listening to Danny and Mace’s vows. It had taken him a couple of weeks to find out that Gary was married. To a woman.
Women, actually.
In three different states.
And don’t even get him started on Kevin, his ex from last summer. The man who’d been devastated when Jeremy wouldn’t wear an orc costume in the bedroom, and then insisted on screaming “FOR THE HORDE!” whenever he came.
Just… no.
Jeremy’s phone pinged with a new Facebook notification, and he swiped it open, glad for the distraction. Hadn’t he just been trying to avoid thinking about his dating history? Before he could read it, though, another notification pinged. And then another.
“What’s up, sweetie?” Gavin asked, raising an eyebrow as Jeremy’s phone continued to blow up.
“Um, I don’t…” Jeremy let his voice trail off as he read the screen, feeling his face start to
heat up. He shook his head in denial, putting his phone face-down on the counter and sliding it away. Drunk texting exes he could live with, but on a potentially-mortifying scale, this made him seriously considering leaving Tulsa altogether.
Lucy picked his phone up off the counter, her brow crinkling in confusion as she scrolled through the long list of Facebook comments he’d left open.
“Your ten-year high-school reunion is coming up?” she asked, trying to make sense of what she was reading under the post titled Tell Us What You’ve Been Up To!
“I know, right? Shoot me now.”
“No kidding. I’ll definitely be skipping mine,” she said distractedly, her eyebrows inching up as she continued to read.
“Me, too,” Jeremy said. “Especially now.”
“…I’m an avid rock climber, amateur astronomer, published author, electric guitar player, master mixologist…?” Lucy read out loud, her voice rising in disbelief.
“That’s eclectic,” Gavin said, peering over her shoulder. “And accomplished. Whose profile is it, Jeremy? Anyone you know?”
“…I’ve finally met the man of my dreams, and when we’re not busy tearing each others’ clothes off, we can be found pursuing one of our many shared interests. My boyfriend is a former college athlete turned personal trainer, and he’s currently helping me train for my first mud run, a 10-mile obstacle course race we’ll be doing together later this year,” Lucy continued to read, shooting Jeremy pointed looks as she quite obviously tried not to laugh.
Jeremy pushed his half-eaten cinnamon roll out of the way and covered his flaming cheeks with his hands. “I remember Danny and I coming up with that list last night at Renegade,” he said, having flashbacks of closing out their favorite gay bar. “I just don’t remember actually posting the damn thing.”
“This is your life? Jeremy, you’ve got hidden depths,” Gavin teased. “Although your ‘boyfriend’ sounds like he was cobbled together from the romantic heroes of the last couple of books you read.”
Jeremy nodded, rolling his eyes. “It looks like resorting to fiction is probably the only way I’ll ever manage to find the perfect man.”
“Rock climbing? A mixologist?” Lucy asked, tapping the screen of Jeremy’s phone. “Weren’t those the hobbies of the main characters from the last couple of books you recommended to me?”
Jeremy nodded again. Embarrassing, but true. He was always getting fired up and inspired from the stories he read, but the truth was that he was also far more likely to live out his dreams on the page than in real life.
Until now.
Jeremy was totally ready to reinvent himself. Or, at least, upgrade to Jeremy 2.0. The new and improved version who would do things instead of just reading about them.
“Well, your former classmates are certainly excited for your success,” Gavin said, his lip quirking up as he tugged the phone out of Lucy’s hands so he could scroll farther down the comments. “Who’s this Candi Clarke? Was she your BFF?”
“Candi?” Jeremy asked, laughing at the thought. “Hardly.”
“Well, she’s definitely happy to hear how well you’re doing. I think she just maxed out Facebook’s exclamation point quota.”
Jeremy nodded, his mouth full of the last bite of cinnamon roll. Heaven. He hadn’t made it through all the comments responding to his over-inflated post, but that definitely sounded like the Candi he remembered from high school. Not that he’d known her well personally, but her over-the-top abundance of school spirit had been something of a driving force in his graduating class. It was no surprise that she was the one organizing the class reunion.
A reunion that Jeremy had no interest in going to.
If he’d been smart—or sober—he would have stayed off the Facebook page altogether. High school hadn’t been bad, but it also wasn’t something he was longing to relive. He hadn’t stayed close to anyone in the years since, and he was much more interested in looking ahead than looking back.
If he wanted to look on the bright side, though—which he generally did—reading about other people’s accomplishments in the class reunion thread had been just as much of a catalyst as breaking up with Reid when it came to lighting a fire under him about doing more with himself. Although as funny as it had been to come up with that little exercise in make-believe that he and Danny had accidentally drunk-posted the night before, rereading it in the light of day just drove home the fact that he was in serious risk of letting life pass him by without actually living it.
Not that it was the first time he’d realized that about himself.
In the past, his short-term motivation to better himself had never stuck, but this time he really thought it would be different. That he could be different. Maybe it was just getting older, or maybe it was watching his friends’ real-life love stories unfold in front of his eyes, but, lately, Jeremy had found himself increasingly restless with the less-than-exciting pattern his life had fallen into. While he definitely wasn’t unhappy, he also couldn’t deny that he was filled with a constant, nagging feeling that something was missing in his life. Not that he had any specific complaints. He just wanted something different. Something… more.
Although, God help him if that missing and ill-defined “more” turned out to be love.
What was that thing they said about insanity and repeating the same mistakes over and over? If his comically bad track record with men had taught him anything, it was that any guy who showed an interest in him was 100% sure to have a fatal flaw. Maybe it was time to stop dating altogether. Not that Jeremy was ready to give up on love—he doubted he was capable of killing that particular dream, even if he’d wanted to—but it was probably best to start with other factors on his quest for getting more out of life.
Love seemed to be a consistent no-go for him.
“I don’t know why Candi’s so excited about my faux-life,” Jeremy said, taking his phone back from Gavin and closing the Facebook app. “Honestly, I doubt she even remembers who I am. She was the classic head cheerleader who didn’t take any notice of nerdy bookworms like me.”
“Bitch,” Lucy said in instant solidarity. “And what kind of name is ‘Candi,’ anyway? Do people actually name their children that?”
“We hate her already,” Gavin added, clearing Jeremy’s empty plate and jingling his keys with a nod toward the door. “But let’s go work off our hate with some kettlebell swings, hm? No one’s going to believe you’re training for a ten-mile obstacle course if you don’t put on some more muscle.”
“Shut up,” Jeremy said, wadding up his napkin and throwing it at Gavin with a laugh. “God, I would die if I actually had to go to the reunion now and admit that I’m just… me.”
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with ‘just you,’ Jeremy,” Lucy said, pouring what was left of his mocha into a to-go cup and handing it to him with a wink. “We love ‘just you.’ You are one of the best, most supportive friends a girl could ask for.”
“That’s right, sweetie,” Gavin said, holding the door as Jeremy swiped one of the sample cookies from the counter.
If he was going to get his sweat on, he might as well give himself something to work off. He popped the cookie in his mouth, then grabbed his backpack and followed Gavin out.
“Everyone knows that no one posts the truth about themselves on Facebook anyway,” Gavin said, ever the perfect friend. “I bet this Candi has totally let herself go since high school. And besides, no one needs to know that what you wrote isn’t true. It’s not like you ever see any of these people in real life, right?”
“Right,” Jeremy, said. “Thank God.”
Seriously.
It was easy to laugh at himself with friends who loved him, but admitting that he wasn’t quite the man he wanted to be to someone like Candi? He would absolutely die of embarrassment.
Dead.
For real.
“Oh, God,” Jeremy muttered, his steps slowing as they entered the loud, intimidating-looking weight room at Gavin’s
gym. “I don’t know about this, Gav. Maybe we should stay over there.”
Jeremy gestured behind them, at the area filled with neat rows of treadmills and elliptical machines, but Gavin just laughed. He tugged Jeremy forward, heading toward an assortment of heavy looking dumbbells or barbells or whatever the things were called.
“You’ve got to start somewhere if you’re serious about this, Jeremy, and free weights will give you the quickest results.”
“I’m really not all that impatient for results,” Jeremy said, second-guessing his decision to turn over this particular new leaf. Did he really need to get in shape? Sure, he was a little on the skinny side, but that wasn’t such a bad thing, was it?
“That’s not what you told me when we scheduled this,” Gavin reminded him.
True. But actually being here was a reality check. The whole idea of a new and improved Jeremy was much less intimidating on paper than when faced with actually making it happen. He did want to make it happen, but maybe he should ease into it.
“I’ve decided that I’m good with the slow and easy plan,” Jeremy said, looking back toward the other part of the gym hopefully. “Honestly, I’m not feeling all that results-oriented at the moment.”
“Think of it this way,” Gavin said, ignoring the look and handing him a big-ass metal ball with a handle on it.
Oof. Jeremy barely managed to keep from dropping it. The thing was way heavier than it looked.
Gavin raised his chin in a subtle nod toward a set of weight benches near the far wall, adding, “This is where you’re going to get all the eye candy.”
Jeremy looked, momentarily forgetting about the obscenely heavy weight thing he was holding. Because… dammmmnnn. Gav was right. There was a lot of delicious man muscle on display. It was definitely inspiring. Especially the ridiculously hot one in the black t-shirt. He would definitely be worth getting out of Jeremy’s comfort zone for.
The Delicious Series: The First Volume Page 43
