“You’re the one who was just complaining about your schedule,” Nick reminded him. “Just making sure you’ve got your priorities straight.”
Beck was a physical therapist, specializing in sports injuries. He was good enough to be in high demand, especially with college athletes. Nick knew his own recovery wouldn’t have been as complete if he hadn’t had Beck in his corner.
“Maybe I should be the one checking in with you about that,” Beck said. “Last time we talked, you were having trouble fitting in your own workouts. The Mudder will be here before you know it.”
“True, and I’m gonna pick up the pace soon, now that I’m starting to settle in here.”
“You can have excuses, or you can have results.”
Nick laughed. “Where’d you hear that one?”
“This trainer I used to have… the guy knew his shit, but then he had to go and move out of state,” Beck teased. “Speaking of which, I read through the gym contract. Looks good, you want me to summarize in plain English?”
“Yup. Go.”
Nick committed the details to memory as Beck rattled off the relevant facts. Howie clearly knew his shit. It was definitely the best deal Nick had been offered in all the years he’d been working as a personal trainer, but he could see how it was also smart business. There was a reason Howie’s gym was so successful, and not screwing his trainers was definitely part of that.
“That clause about the contract transferring if you work at another gym he owns is pretty sweet,” Beck said, once he’d finished summarizing. “Sounds like he’s got locations across the Midwest.”
“More than that,” Nick said. “He’s got them scattered across the country, but I don’t see a transfer applying to me. As long as Ava’s in Tulsa, so am I.”
“How’s that going? Has Heather agreed to file the paternity affidavit yet?”
“Nope,” Nick said, grimacing. He pulled into a parking spot in front of his apartment, turning off the truck, and grabbed the bag with his climbing gear off the seat next to him. “New job’s been keeping her too busy to talk about it so far.”
“That’s bullshit. She always has an excuse. You need to lawyer up, Nick.”
Nick slammed the truck door harder than necessary, a harmless way to vent some of the frustration that the topic stirred up. Beck had been saying the same thing for years, but there were some fears Nick couldn’t even bring himself to share with his best friend. Going head-to-head with Heather was one of those. He couldn’t shake the idea that if his shortcomings came to light, they might make a court decide he wasn’t a fit father for Ava. As far as he was concerned, it was better to deal with Heather jerking him around than get cut out of his daughter’s life completely.
“You know I’d help you read through the paperwork and shit,” Beck went on, an offer he’d made before.
“I know, dude. Thank you,” Nick said. “I’m still hoping Heather will come around, though.”
“It’s fucked up that she didn’t name you as the father in the first place.”
“Yup,” Nick agreed. “But I get why she is the way she is. I mean, it is bullshit, but I know it’s not about me.”
Heather’s childhood had been the opposite of Nick’s. A father who was too involved. One who’d used his parental rights to make her and her mother’s lives hell. Everyone had their issues, and he knew that her almost-manic need to feel in control of Ava’s life had a lot to do with how out of control her own had been at that age.
“Sure,” Beck agreed. “But you’ve got rights, too. What happens if she decides to pick up and move again?”
Nick groaned, tossing his gym bag on the couch and heading to the fridge to grab a bottled water. “Don’t jinx me, bro. Besides, Tulsa is growing on me.”
His lip quirked up as he said it, realizing it was true. Finally getting settled in at the gym was a part of that, but definitely not the only part.
“Oooh, today was your gay practice date, wasn’t it?” Beck asked, reading his mind. He laughed. “How’d that go?”
“Dude, it was fun. I like him.” Normally he’d have more to say to Beck on the subject, but for some reason he hesitated. He’d definitely gotten into character, but before he shared any of it with Beck, he wanted to sort out whether how natural it had felt to be Jeremy’s “boyfriend” was due solely to his admittedly stellar acting ability, or if there was more to it. Instead, he changed the subject, “Speaking of gay dating, are you still seeing that guy Evan?”
“Nope.”
Honestly, it was the answer Nick had expected. Beck had met the guy just before Nick had left Seattle, which would have put them about six weeks into dating. Definitely pushing the upper limit of a standard Beck relationship.
“You okay with that?” he asked.
“Yeah, no big deal,” Beck said, another unsurprising answer. “Our schedules never seemed to match up well. It was hard to get together, and neither one of us cared enough to try harder to make it work, you know?”
“You always say that, Beckworth,” Nick said, laughing. “Honestly, the day you meet someone you’ll ‘try harder’ for, I’ll know you’ve finally found your man.”
“Don’t hold your breath.”
“Don’t be so cynical. You deserve someone.”
Beck laughed. “I’ve been saying that to you for years,” he reminded Nick. True. “Do you have any real dating prospects there, yet?”
“Honestly, I’m not looking for any. I’ve got enough on my plate with Ava and the gym. Besides, I’ve got J.”
“Your ‘boyfriend’?” Beck asked, laughing. “Nick, seriously, I’m thrilled you’re making new friends, but you’ve been there for more than a month. At some point you’re going to need to get laid.”
Nick grinned. Beck would never have lasted a month. Still, dude was right. The feel of Jeremy’s skin quivering under his touch popped unbidden into his mind. Had that sexy little shiver gotten to him just because it had been a while?
“You know I’m right,” Beck pressed.
“I was thinking something along those lines today, actually,” Nick said, imagining Beck’s reaction if he were to admit it had been in the context of getting his gay on. But no, he wasn’t ready to go there yet. Beck would be the first person he’d share that new development with if it went anywhere of course—well, actually, hopefully the second person—but until Nick figured out whether there was anything to it, he was going to keep his newfound curiosity to himself.
“Maybe you should ask this Jeremy guy if he can hook you up with any of his straight girlfriends.”
Yeah, no. Not interested.
“I’ve still got another week until we break up, Beck,” Nick said, lip twitching. “And you know I’d never step out on my fake boyfriend.”
“You are loyal to a fault, Nick,” Beck agreed, laughing.
Probably true, but the idea of trying to hook up with anyone else while J was in his life did not sit well.
At all.
5
Jeremy
Nick’s truck had the kind of bench seat that made Jeremy dream of doing publicly indecent things. But besides being fuel for future fantasies, it afforded him the opportunity to scoot across and buckle himself into the middle seat when Nick picked him up for Candi’s dinner thing, shamelessly pressing up against the furnace of Nick’s drool-worthy body.
Nick raised an eyebrow, looking amused. “Does this mean you missed me, J?”
Yes.
“You’re the one who said I had to work on selling the fact that I want you,” Jeremy said, smoothly avoiding the real answer. “If we were actually dating, you know I wouldn’t pass up a chance like this.”
Nick just smiled, but after he pulled out into traffic, he dropped a hand onto Jeremy’s knee and left it there while he drove.
Jeremy ignored it. If obsessively not looking at The Hand—just in case his attention made Nick take it away—qualified as ignoring, that is. He was also not thinking about it, since Nick had shown a
remarkable ability to pick up on his thoughts. And he was definitely not paying attention to the heat that Nick’s touch sent shooting up his leg.
Fine. Higher than his leg.
But regardless of that, he was not—not—going to allow himself to get hard, since letting that happen was bound to be an exercise in frustration. Because, bench seat or not—and no matter how laid-back Nick was about a bit of physical contact—nothing was going to come of it.
Except, possibly, embarrassment.
Which Jeremy would prefer to avoid.
Case in point, not admitting to the fact that yes, he had, in fact, missed Nick.
They hadn’t seen each other since they’d gone rock climbing the weekend before, but despite that, Jeremy felt like his entire week had been filled with Nick. Or more accurately, with missing Nick. Every day, there had been things he’d wanted to tell Nick. Ideas, random thoughts, silly little moments that he knew would make Nick laugh, or just things that seemed infinitely funnier when he thought of sharing them. The man had been on his mind 24/7. They’d talked on the phone a few times—Nick seemed to have a chronic aversion to texting—but between Nick’s work schedule, the fact that Kelley had been out with the flu all week at Sir Reads-a-lot, and some last minute things that had come up with Ava, the timing hadn’t worked out to get together in person again.
Which was probably for the best, given that Jeremy clearly hadn’t managed to stop crushing on the man yet.
Jeremy would be the first to confess that a) he tended to jump into relationships too quickly, and b) there may have been times in the past when he’d glossed over the impending signs of doom with a new man, and that c) he’d occasionally-okay-quite-often talked himself into saying “yes” even when his gut reaction was “hell no,” but the problem with Nick was that neither (b) nor (c) applied, which was making it really hard to ignore what Jeremy’s gut was telling him this time.
Which was that Nick was different.
That he was The One.
That they just clicked.
And that Jeremy would be a fool to let him slip away, now that he’d finally found him.
But even if his gut had, in the end, proven right all those times in the past, this time, it wasn’t.
It couldn’t be.
The realistic part of him—and who would have guessed that that existed?—knew that it was never going to happen. Because even though Nick was by far the best boyfriend he’d never had, he’d also flat out told Jeremy the weekend before that he was “getting into character.” That he was good at faking things.
Not that Jeremy could doubt that Nick liked him—there were some things no one would be able to fake, at least, not that well—but there was a big difference between liking him and, well, liking him. And, therefore, Jeremy really needed to get it through his head that there was never going to be an “us” in Team Us.
Well, okay, so technically there was, by definition.
But the point Jeremy was trying to make to himself was that it wasn’t ever going to be the type of “us” that included getting naked together.
That didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy it for what it was, though, especially since it was destined to end so soon. All he needed to do was remember that it was all a game. To let himself have fun play-acting with Nick, and stop stop STOP wishing it were something more. To enjoy this last little window of time before they broke up and he went back to his real life. His life-without-Nick. The life that he was not going to let himself be disappointed in.
After all, there was absolutely no point missing what he was never going to have.
Right?
Nick parked in front of Candi’s manicured lawn, and Jeremy firmly shoved his pointless longing out of the way. Breaking up with Nick was bound to be a better time than actually dating some of the men he’d put up with in the past, so he might as well buck up and enjoy it.
“Ready, Pumpkin?” Nick asked, an already-familiar teasing gleam in his eye.
It was a ridiculous nickname. Definitely not sexy. But that didn’t stop the little surge of warmth Jeremy felt whenever Nick used it.
Jeremy grinned. “You bet. Let’s end this thing.”
Nick’s smile faltered, but then he rallied. “You that eager to get rid of me, J?”
“We both knew it would never work out,” Jeremy said mock-seriously, patting Nick’s hand. If it was going to end, he was determined to make it fun. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Nick laughed as he turned off the truck, just like Jeremy had hoped he would.
“Okay, I’ll follow your lead,” he said, waiting until Jeremy scooted across the seat and hopped out before adding, ”But until you kick me to the curb, I’ll do my best to be your perfect boyfriend, deal? I wouldn’t want Candi to think I didn’t treat you right.”
“Oh, God,” Jeremy groaned. “I’m going to look like an ass when we actually break up, aren’t I?”
“Nope,” Nick said, lacing their fingers together and tugging him close.
Closer.
Chest to chest.
Jeremy’s brain was trying vainly to remind him that Nick was faking it, but his body, unfortunately, was ignoring the memo. Nick was just too damn good at getting into character, and Jeremy could feel his cheeks heat up as he fought down other physical reactions.
“I don’t think you could be an ass, J,” Nick said, his voice all soft and sexy and much too believable. “In fact, I’m banking on us being the kind of exes who stay friends.”
“I don’t have those kind of exes,” Jeremy said, willing his heart not to flutter. They were standing close enough that Nick would be able to feel it, if Jeremy were foolish enough to let it happen.
“…yet,” Nick said, and it took Jeremy a moment to get that he was completing Jeremy’s sentence.
“Okay.” Jeremy did his best to keep his smile at a non-blinding level, adding, “I’m open to trying new things.”
“Me, too,” Nick said.
And for real, Jeremy would have sworn that the man’s eyes flicked down to his mouth. Which, if his life had been a book, would have been followed by Nick kissing him. Instead, Nick laughed, turning toward the house and pulling Jeremy after him and launching into a funny story about something that had happened at the gym that day. And a kiss would have been nice. Well, okay, amazing. But Jeremy couldn’t help thinking that reality was even better.
Because they were about to break up.
But Nick wanted to stay friends.
And after a lifetime of pining for the kind of romance that just didn’t happen in real life—at least, not to him—a reality that still had Nick in it sounded better than fiction, any day.
“You know Marcie, right?” Candi asked, ushering Jeremy and Nick into her living room. “And you’ll definitely know everyone else on the reunion committee! Remember how much fun we all had in high school? It feels like just yesterday!”
Jeremy restrained himself from rolling his eyes. Apparently Candi had rewritten their history—their non-history—in her head well enough that she’d started to believe they really had been BFFs. And sure, he recognized the people who filled her living room, but they definitely hadn’t been the crowd he’d hung out with back when they’d all been at Edison together.
“Brittney and Tom,” Candi said, pointing to each committee member as she steered Jeremy and Nick toward an empty loveseat. The couple she’d named nodded absently at them before returning their attention to something on the tablet Tom was holding. Candi continued making reintroductions around the room, “And Beth and Sean—can you believe they’re still together? And Lanie, Courtney, and of course Sam. You guys all remember Jeremy… er, Beckett, right?”
“Bennett,” Nick corrected her, putting his hand on the small of Jeremy’s back as they stepped around what looked like a scale-model of the old Edison high school gym laid out on the floor.
Jeremy wasn’t sure which was more distracting, the fact that Nick remembered his last name, or The Hand. Having Nick touch
him would be the easy answer, because that was single-handedly—snicker—responsible for hatching a whole new flock of butterflies in his stomach. But still, hearing evidence that Nick had paid attention to something like his last name… and when had he even mentioned it? Maybe in passing. But that did something to him, too. Something that mixed the butterfly action with that persistent heart flutter and made him feel entirely too warm inside.
“Right,” Candi said perkily. “Bennett. That’s what I meant. And this—” She patted Nick’s shoulder with a look of utter delight. “—is Jeremy’s boyfriend! Oh my God, can you believe it? We’ve got our own gay couple on the committee now! Aren’t they adorbs?”
Nick’s eyebrows shot up, and he made a sound halfway between a snort and a laugh.
“Did she seriously just say ‘adorbs?” Jeremy whispered, using it as an excuse to lean against Nick as they sat down.
Nick’s lips twitched as if he were losing the battle with not laughing. “Well, gotta admit, you are kind of adorbs, J,” he whispered back, stretching his arm out on the back of the loveseat behind Jeremy. He ran his hand over the back of Jeremy’s head—no doubt smoothing down that pesky cowlick—and then settled it lightly against the back of his neck, swirling his fingers lazily against the skin.
“Um, I don’t know that we’ve actually agreed to be on the committee, Candi,” Jeremy said, trying to distract himself from the delicious shiver that Nick’s touch sent through him by focusing on the other part of what she’d just said. “In fact, I’m not even entirely sure I can make it to the reunion itself.”
The Delicious Series: The First Volume Page 50
