Jeremy traced the Summer Triangle on his wrist. Nick wasn’t a fan of long-distance relationships. He’d said so, back at Candi’s place. And really, how would that work out, anyway? The answer was that it wouldn’t.
Not that it was even an option anyone had put on the table.
Nick was leaving, end of story. He hadn’t argued with Jeremy at the park about whether or not any of it had been real. Hadn’t insisted that they try to keep seeing each other, or tried to stop him from leaving, or mentioned wanting anything more. He’d never lied to Jeremy, or been a jerk, or revealed a fatal flaw. He hadn’t done anything wrong at all, really. Ever.
Except, of course, make Jeremy fall for him.
And then, of course, the leaving thing.
“Can we talk about something else?” Jeremy asked a little desperately, feeling like he was about to get stuck in a whirlpool of misery that was sure to suck him down into another crying jag if he didn’t find a way out.
“Sure,” Gavin said, since he was basically a perfect friend. It took him a minute, but eventually he came up with a non-Nick topic. “I sent your cousin an invitation to the wedding. Has he mentioned whether he can make it?”
Jeremy shook his head. “I haven’t talked to him for a few weeks.”
He knew that Gavin and Ben gave Cash some of the credit for helping the two of them get together, but Jeremy had never heard the whole story. He knew it had something to do with the time he’d talked Gav into going out on a date with his cousin the summer before, when Cash had been in town visiting.
From Seattle.
Where Nick was going to move to.
Which Jeremy was done thinking about.
“Maybe I should give Cash a call,” Gavin said. “Ben and I would love to have him, although I know it’s pretty short notice for him to get a cheap flight now.”
“I’ll do it,” Jeremy said, glad to have something planned for later. Something other than pining for Nick, that is. “I hope he can make it.”
“Me, too,” Gavin said, smiling.
Jeremy nodded, too busy not thinking about Nick to come up with something else to say.
“Have you thought about hiring someone to replace Kelley?” Gavin asked, once it became clear that Jeremy had nothing else to offer, conversationally speaking.
“No.”
He should though, right? God, Jeremy sucked at business. Losing Kelley was going to be a blow for sure, but he really didn’t have the energy to think about it at the moment. He’d have to figure it out sometime before she left.
“Can we talk about something that isn’t someone leaving?” he blurted.
“Sorry, sweetie,” Gavin said sincerely, squeezing his shoulder. “Of course we can. I just wasn’t thinking. Um… are you going to come out to Renegade with us for my birthday?”
Oh, right. That was soon, wasn’t it? This week? Jesus, Jeremy had been so buried in his own misery that he’d forgotten.
“Sure,” he said, hoping he managed to sound enthusiastic.
Going out with his friends would be fun. Danny always managed to plan fun things around birthdays. And it would be… fun.
Jeremy sighed.
“Talking about something else isn’t really working, is it?” Gavin asked.
“Not really, no.”
“Want to come back inside and get some chocolate instead?”
Jeremy smiled despite himself. “Thanks,” he said, meaning it. And not just for the chocolate. Although for that, too. “At least that’s one thing I can always count on having around, right?”
Gavin grinned back at him. “That, and your friends. We’re not going anywhere.” Gavin winced as soon as the words left his mouth. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Jeremy said, following him back inside. “I’m done thinking about Nick. None of it was real, anyway.”
Gavin normally had zero tolerance for bullshit, but this time, instead of calling Jeremy out on his back-to-back lies, Gav just handed him a brownie, and made him a mocha, and subtly steered the rest of the wedding cake planning conversation away from things that might make Jeremy think of Nick.
Or at least, he could tell that that’s what Gavin was trying to do.
It wasn’t Gav’s fault that his thoughts managed to find a way back to Nick anyway. Regardless. Always.
But he’d get over it, right?
Eventually.
Jeremy rolled his eyes, tossing the book he’d been reading across the room in frustration. Love stories were the worst. He grabbed the keys to Sir Reads-a-lot and headed downstairs, determined to find something a little more realistic to read.
For God’s sake, did he have anything in the store’s inventory besides romance?
He stomped past the shelves full of hot, shirtless men and headed for the mysteries. He could get lost in a good whodunnit, couldn’t he?
Okay, no.
A gory thriller?
Maybe.
Well, maybe not.
He wracked his brain, drumming his fingers against the edge of the bookshelf in front of him. Maybe he should try a biography? For real, did he even stock those?
He gave up, flopping down in the chair that Kelley used for story time on Saturdays. Which was tomorrow. Shit. Would Nick bring Ava in as usual? Not going to speculate. Wasn’t that why he’d been reading in the first place? To keep his mind off Nick?
It wasn’t working. Honestly, Jeremy just wasn’t in the mood for a book. Which was definitely a bad sign. The only other times he could remember not wanting to read in his downtime were a) when his grandmother had died, and b) never.
He straightened up in the chair.
Wake-up call. Nick moving away was not the end of the world. Not in the same category as losing the woman who’d raised him. It was time to get his shit together. He was officially going to not think about Nick, for real this time.
Jeremy fished his phone out of his pocket, remembering that he’d promised to check in with Cash about coming out for Gavin’s wedding.
The screen of his phone said ten o’clock, so it was still early back in Seattle. Perfect. He tapped out a quick text to Cash, not even bothering to make note of the fact that he still had no new call notifications.
Nick still hadn’t called. Or texted. Or messaged him on Facebook.
Wait, were they even friends on Facebook?
God, Jeremy hadn’t even logged on since he didn’t remember when. He’d been too busy doing real life things with Nick to keep up with his newsfeed.
But he wasn’t thinking about that right now.
Or about the fact that the text he’d just sent was actually traveling through the… air? Cell phone wave… things? Satellite feed? Whatever. Somehow, it was making its way to Seattle, where Nick would be moving back to. Which, as previously noted, Jeremy was not thinking about.
He hit send.
You coming to Gavin’s wedding? I need a date.
The ping of his cousin’s reply sounded almost immediately.
You sweet talker ;-)
Jeremy swallowed, remembering Nick using the same words to tease him once. Seriously, though, was there some kind of diabolical force conspiring to make Every Single Moment Of His Life remind him of Nick?
Another ping.
That your best pick up line, cuz? If so, we’ve got some serious work to do.
Jeremy grinned despite himself. Cash had always been one of his favorite people. He was a perfect distraction.
Stop playing hard to get. I already know you’re easy, Cash.
Cash’s next few texts chimed in one right after the other.
Busted.
But yeah, I meant to RSVP. Time just got away from me.
I’ll be your date.
But don’t expect me to put out. ;-)
Jeremy rolled his eyes at the last one.
Dude, this is Oklahoma, not Arkansas.
Instead of the ping of an incoming text, his phone vibrated with an incoming call almost immediately after he’d sent his r
eply. Jeremy’s pulse went into overdrive, his heart leaping into his throat. Nick was the only person he knew who preferred to call instead of text.
But no.
It was just Cash.
When he swiped to answer, the sound of his cousin cracking up on the other end of the line greeted him.
“What?” Jeremy asked, biting back his own laughter. Yes, he was heartbroken, but the sound of Cash’s uncontrollable laughter was contagious.
“Oh, it is you, Jeremy. Thought someone must’ve hacked your phone,” Cash said. “Did you seriously just write ‘dude’?”
Oh.
Shit.
Had he?
That was a Nick word.
“Whatever,” Jeremy said, ignoring his slip. “So, you’re coming?”
“Yeah. End of the month, right?”
Jeremy nodded, even though Cash couldn’t see it. “The last Saturday,” he said, not remembering the actual date.
“Cool. Mind if I come out early if I can find a flight, though? I wouldn’t mind getting out of here this weekend. Fucking rain.”
Jeremy knew his cousin too well to buy his flippant tone, but he wasn’t going to press him about it, even though he knew that the rain wasn’t the reason Cash was always so eager to escape Seattle. Or the reason he always returned. But Jeremy wasn’t going to say anything about Robin if Cash didn’t. Jeremy was the last person to judge anyone else’s love life.
Lack of a love life, rather.
If anything, the thing with Nick gave him more empathy for Cash’s situation than ever. Wanting what you couldn’t have was… not something he was going to think about.
For the hundred thousandth time.
Seriously.
“My couch is always open,” Jeremy said, letting Cash get away with the rain excuse. “You know you can come anytime.”
“Thanks, cuz,” Cash said. “I’ll text you once I book a flight.”
Jeremy made himself tuck his phone away after they hung up without checking whether or not he had any new call notifications. Besides, he would have heard a beep if he did, right? He still wasn’t in the mood to read, though. Maybe he’d look at the store’s financial statements instead? He vaguely remembering the bank needing some kind of information from him.
Ugh. No. Boring. He’d see if Kelley could handle that later. She was good at that kind of thing.
He pulled out his phone again, opening Facebook. He had twenty-seven new notifications, none of which were from anyone he wasn’t thinking about.
Oh. He actually wasn’t friends with Nick on Facebook. Which was fine, really. Probably for the best.
Most of the notifications were from that stupid class reunion thread. He clicked through to check it, glaring at the drunk post that had started the whole mess.
Although actually, it was kind of awesome that he’d now done most of the stuff he’d originally listed.
He and Nick had taken a mixology class together the month before, which had been harder than he’d thought, but also fun. Especially since Nick had a crazy-ass memory. The man had literally memorized the recipe for every drink without even looking at the cheat sheet once.
And Jeremy had finally gotten over his nervousness about the rock-climbing thing. At least, indoors. Nick had talked about going out to Chandler sometime later in the summer so they could try it outdoors, too. And sure, maybe the idea of that was still a little nerve-wracking, but Jeremy was reasonably confident in the basics at least.
More importantly, he knew Nick would never let him fall.
And okay, so that wasn’t going to happen now. Not with Nick. But Jeremy was just going to have to get over it. After all, when he’d originally posted the thing, he hadn’t even known Nick. He’d had a plan to finally start doing more with his life, and even though he may have included having a hot boyfriend on the list, his plan had been about more than just finding a man.
Jeremy had wanted to be someone who went after what he wanted in life.
Seized the day.
Did things, instead of just read about them.
And he’d done it, right? He’d officially become Jeremy 2.0. And that Jeremy could still be happy, with or without Nick.
Although really, he’d prefer the with-Nick version, if given a choice.
Which… he didn’t have. Well, other than maybe the choice to still be friends. Long-distance friends. Friends without benefits.
Maybe he wouldn’t have to lose Nick completely.
Jeremy huffed out an exasperated breath, not crying.
Really not crying this time.
He really, truly had to get his mind off Nick, at least for the moment, otherwise he would literally drive himself crazy. He needed to be Jeremy 2.0. The Jeremy who didn’t need a man. The Jeremy who did things. Things that didn’t involve Nick, even.
He looked through his Facebook post again.
He was going to do all of it.
Okay, not electric guitar. What had he been thinking? He was going to blame that one on the rock-star romance binge he’d gone through over the winter, but for real, he was not that musical, and he was actually pretty okay with that.
And not astronomy things.
Not tonight, at least.
That was too Nick.
But maybe it was time to bite the bullet and send out query letters for the novels he’d already written but been too scared to show anyone. He knew they weren’t good enough, and were bound to be rejected, but… he wasn’t going to let that stop him anymore.
He flipped off the lights and locked the store, heading back up the stairs to his apartment. He’d always wanted to be a published author, but, like Nick said, people didn’t get what they wished for, they got what they worked for. It wasn’t about where you started, but what you were willing to do in order to get where you wanted to go. Success didn’t just come and find you, you had to go out and get it.
Okay, maybe he should stop with the Nick-tastic motivational quotes.
He’d like to think they qualified as a bit of a gray area when it came to not-thinking-about Nick, but he knew that line of reasoning was a slippery slope. Still, had to give himself credit for not having thought about Nick for a while. He pulled out his phone. Eleven o’clock already—still no new calls—he’d managed to keep Nick off his mind for an entire hour. Mostly. But like Nick always said, it was important to celebrate small victories.
And maybe Jeremy would do even better tomorrow.
11
Nick
Nick stared at the blank screen of his phone after he ended the call with Heather, not really seeing it. She’d just told him the flight information for the plane tickets back to Seattle for herself and Ava, and he committed the details to memory out of habit, feeling numb. He had to stop pretending that some change of plans would miraculously occur. It wasn’t going to happen, and he had to get himself out of the holding-state he’d been stuck in all week and start setting things in motion.
He hit the home button on his phone to wake up his iGirl.
“Send a message to Beckworth for me, Siri,” he said, glad she wouldn’t take the lack of enthusiasm in his voice personally.
“I’m coming back to Seattle, yo,” Nick dictated once Siri was ready for him.
His phone buzzed almost immediately, surprising him.
Beck, calling him back.
He swiped to answer. “Dude, you playing hooky on a Monday?” Nick asked, in lieu of a greeting.
Beck lived and died by his work schedule, so Nick knew that couldn’t be it. He wouldn’t classify his friend as a workaholic—Beckworth definitely made time for fun—but self-discipline was Beck’s personal religion, and if following through on his commitments were an Olympic sport, he’d definitely take the gold. Nick would sooner expect the sun not to rise than find out Beck had taken unscheduled time off work.
“You caught me on my lunch,” Beck said, explaining his midday availability.
Although, seriously, was it midday already? Jesus, Nick re
ally was out of it. He had the day off—he’d changed his schedule weeks ago to sync up with Jeremy’s—but instead of planning his usual slew of activities, the whole morning had already passed by without him noticing. What had he even done? Laundry? Breakfast? Had that even been today?
He scrubbed a hand over his face. It was definitely time to get his shit together.
“So, you’re coming home?” Beck asked over the sound of crinkling plastic. The guy was no doubt nuking one of his über-healthy microwave lunches. God forbid he take time to leave his office and get a decent meal. “Did you book a flight already? And we’re talking about the Mudder in September, right?”
“Nope,” Nick said. “I’ll be there sooner than that. Probably sometime this month. I’ve still got a few things to take care of here, but then I’m moving back for good.”
“Serious?” Beck asked. “Nick, that’s awesome!”
Beck’s enthusiasm was almost enough to make him smile. Silver lining: At least one of them was happy about it. And, he had to admit, it wasn’t going to suck to be back around Beck and their circle of friends.
The ding of a microwave sounded in the background, confirming Nick’s guess about his friend’s lunch plans.
“What about Aves, though?” Beck asked, talking over the sound.
Nick sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. He tipped his chair back to balance it on two legs out of habit, rocking slightly to keep from falling, and stared up at the textured ceiling above him. His landlord was being a dick, and it was going to cost him to break the lease if he wanted to leave before the end of summer. It was tempting to use that as an excuse to stay a little longer, but honestly, the money didn’t matter that much to him. Not that he was rolling in it, but at the end of the day, it was just money.
He hadn’t even talked to Jeremy since the park the week before. Would staying in Tulsa a few months longer make any difference?
The Delicious Series: The First Volume Page 56
