by Fanny Finch
“Papa, you cannot leave me yet. Please do not leave me yet.”
The Duke of Corning rolled his eyes to his wife. “I wish to speak with my daughter alone, my wife.”
“Of course, your grace.” The Duchess of Corning bowed slightly, lowering her head and closing her eyes briefly. She backed away and then turned to leave quickly.
Emma did not turn her head to watch but her father’s eyes followed his wife as she left. Then he looked at her again. “My beautiful daughter,” he said in a voice so low, Emma had to raise up and sit on the side of the bed to get close enough to hear him. “I love you with all my heart.”
“I know, Papa,” Emma whispered. “I love you, too. So very much. Please do not leave me.”
The Duke of Corning shook his head almost unnoticeably. “I have no control, my dear. But I am trying. I try to hold on for my dear, sweet beautiful daughter.”
Emma lowered her head, letting her tears slide down her cheeks. She rested one hand on his arm while taking his hand in the other.
“I see your mother in you so often.” The Duke of Corning surveyed his daughter’s face. She was ashamed that she was crying uncontrollably. Her tears came from relief that her father was still alive and fear that he would not be for much longer. “She was a wonderful woman, Emma. She was an amazing woman who had spirit in every bone in her body. She was also quite funny.” He grinned. “She made me laugh like… like I have never laughed in my life.”
Emma wished she could remember her mother better. The eight years she’d had her and her father both had been the most magical time of her life. Whenever memories popped into her mind, she felt a mixture of sorrow and happiness.
“Papa, I do not know what I will do without you in my life.”
The Duke of Corning acted like he had not heard what she said. “You inherited your mother’s spirit, my Emma. You will make a man very happy. I want you to be happy, too. You must find a man who will fulfill your every need, your dreams, your goals. You must find a man who will take care of you and care for you at the same time.”
“I know, Papa,” Emma whispered, squeezing his hand. “I am trying.”
Thoughts of the Duke of Andryse and Lord Carne ran quickly through her mind. The Duke of Corning must have seen the look that passed over her face because he suddenly looked very sad.
“I was under the assumption you had a suitor in mind,” he said. She blinked at him.
“What makes you say that, Papa? I have not mentioned anyone to you.”
“Your sister came in before you. She told me that there is a man you are interested in. She was very flattering of this Duke of Lox. I would like to meet with him and speak to him.”
Emma shook her head, picturing the handsome duke in her mind. It made her heart flutter a bit but she denied it was because of any attraction she felt. The Duke of Lox was already spoken for, according to Lady Christian’s behavior.
“You do not desire the Duke of Lox as a husband?” The Duke of Corning sounded disappointed. Emma wondered why. He had not met with the Duke of Lox. As far as she knew, he knew nothing about the man.
“I have not considered it.” It was a half-truth. She had considered it briefly at the beginning but had quickly changed her mind. His skill at dancing, his charm, his good looks, it was true the Duke of Lox had much going for him. But now there was the introduction of Lady Christian, who was obviously enthralled with the Duke of Lox to the point that she came all the way from America in search of him. Apparently, it was not the first time she had traveled a great distance to be near the Duke of Lox.
“My daughter, you know better than to lie to your father, do you not?”
Emma was relieved that her father sounded as though he was regaining some of his strength. Instead of becoming weaker, he looked as though her presence had infused him with an energy he had not previously had.
She tried to smile at him, squeezing his hand again. “I do not lie, Papa. I may have considered it for a moment or two but the Duke of Lox has much to deal with. He…” She did not know how to tell her father about Lady Christian. It was embarrassing and humiliating.
“If you feel he is worth considering for a moment or two, perhaps you should give him more time. You cannot determine the essence of a man in only a moment or two. You must converse with him, take into account his history, his family, the generations that came before him.”
“But Papa, he seems to be already spoken for.”
The Duke of Corning frowned as if he was extremely disappointed by the news. “I did not hear this. Who is he betrothed to?”
Emma swallowed. She could not continue with her father believing the Duke of Lox and Lady Christian were already betrothed. She spoke the truth in a gentle, quiet voice, “I cannot say that the Duke of Lox is betrothed to Lady Christian but it does appear to be so. Or it will be shortly forthcoming.”
Her father gazed at her face, running his eyes over her features with love in his eyes. Emma wanted to drown in that love. She wanted it to never end. She wanted her father to live forever.
“Papa, oh, Papa!” Emma lowered herself to the bed, resting her head on her father’s shoulder gently. She held up enough to not rest her entire body weight on him. She turned her head and placed two kisses on his cheek, delighting when it made him smile from ear to ear. “I do not know what to do, Papa. I am so confused.”
“My sweet Emma, you are so like your mother.”
Emma could hear the sorrow in her father’s voice. He had been missing her every day since her death. His remarriage was not of complete desperation but the Duchess of Corning had done him some good and Emma knew it. Despite the fear that the Duchess of Corning would insist she marry Lord Carne or anyone else for that matter, she knew that her father loved the woman. She would never disrespect her father or the duchess by complaining.
She did not want to live a miserable life with a man she did not love. But how could she burden her father with this during the last days of his life? What could she say to ease his mind?
“Tell me how I am like my mother, Papa,” she said softly. While he spoke, she pulled herself up on the bed to lay next to him, resting her head on his shoulder, folding her arms around one of his and holding on desperately.
“I have told you this before, my dear,” he said quietly. She smiled against his shoulder, turning her head just enough to place a kiss on the thin bone protruding from the thin blanket that covered him.
“I want to hear it again, Papa.” She said the words but, in her mind, she ended the sentence with before it is too late.
“You have the same coloring as her,” the Duke of Corning began. He would mention the same things he always mentioned whenever he spoke of her mother. She knew exactly what he would say. She did not care that he said the same things each time. It was a loving reminder that her mother had stayed alive to her father because she was alive. She reminded him of the first love in his life. And he showed his gratitude by giving her the most love a father could show a daughter.
Emma pulled her legs up so that her knees were against his side. She closed her eyes and listened to the soft tone of his voice as he spoke. She did not want to fall asleep but found herself becoming drowsy.
He spoke of her eyes and her facial features that matched her mother’s so well. He said he was glad she had not taken after him because he would not make a good-looking woman. They both chuckled softly at that.
There were several phrases her mother often said that Emma had picked up on naturally when she was young and had used ever since. He mentioned each and every one of them, equating each with a short anecdote about why that particular phrase was so funny.
Emma stayed where she was with her eyes closed, her arms wrapped around her father’s thin arm, her face pressed against his.
When her father stopped talking, she was nearly asleep. The ceasing of his words caused her to become alert. She picked up her face and looked at him. His eyes were closed. If it were not for the continuous r
ise and fall of his chest as he breathed, she might have run screaming from the room.
But he was still with her. He was still alive, breathing, speaking, loving.
She did not want to lose her dear father. She would give anything to keep him alive forever. At least throughout her own life. She reached up and placed one hand on his scruffy cheek. Her step-mother had not had a servant shave the Duke of Corning in several days. The hair that grew from his chin and cheek was soft.
“Do not leave me, Papa,” she whispered quietly so as not to wake him. “Give me time. I cannot go on without you. I am too young to lose you. You are too young to lose me! Papa, I need you. I love you. Please do not leave me. You are my rock, my guardian. My papa. I love you, Papa. Do not leave me.”
She felt the tears coming once more and decided she could not cry on her father’s shoulder while he was sleeping. She slid off the bed and went back to the door.
She turned once there and looked back at him. “I love you, Papa,” she whispered, gazing at him through mournful, loving eyes. “I would rather be a spinster all of my life than lose you.”
She stood for a moment longer, looking at her father, remembering when he was stronger, more energetic, healthy enough to lift two little girls on his shoulders and carry them around.
She turned away and went through the door, her head low, tears flowing freely from her eyes once she was on the other side of the door.
Chapter 17
Camilla met her at the door, surrounding her with her arms. “Oh, Emma! I must tell you something. Come with me.”
Emma looked at her with confused eyes. “What is it, Camilla?”
Her cousin pulled gently on Emma’s arm. “Come with me,” she said quietly. She hurried to the front door and waited there for Emma. Emma followed her, looking around the empty foyer. She assumed everyone was in the parlor.
Camilla was very concerned about something. Emma was anxious to hear what it was. It was making her nervous. Camilla’s pretty, slender face looked distraught.
The two women went out on the front porch. At the steps, when Camilla still hadn’t spoken, Emma said, “Camilla, what is it?”
Camilla looked over her shoulder, shaking her head. She reached back and took Emma’s hand, leading her to the garden. Once they were there, they sat at a bench in front of a tall statue, under a large tree. Camilla sighed. “Oh, Emma. I feel bad but I do not feel bad.”
“About what?”
“I was in the foyer, waiting for you to come out of your father’s room. I overheard your mother talking to Katherine. She said…” She shook her head. “She said as soon as your father passes on, she’s going to arrange for you to be married to Lord Carne. She’s already spoken with him about it and he’s agreed to pay her a great deal of money and to continue paying for their upkeep after you’re married to him.”
A chill ran through Emma’s body. This was exactly what she’d suspected would happen but prayed it would not. She turned her eyes and stared out into the distance, wondering if she should scream or cry.
The next moment anger split through her. “I do not understand what she has against me,” she moaned. “I have not done anything to her. I have always followed her rules and done what she has told me to do. I… I do not deserve to be treated like a piece of property.”
“I know.” Camilla’s voice was distraught. “I have been rolling ideas through my mind, trying to figure out if there’s anything I can do. I know the Duke of Rabney will soon ask my father for my hand in marriage. I will be happy. You will not. I cannot stand that. The thought is terrifying to me. I want to run away with you. Or maybe the Duke of Rabney will take you away. Maybe the Duke of Lox will take you away. But…”
Camilla’s eyes moved over Emma’s shoulder. She grabbed Emma’s hand and pulled her to her feet, standing up. “Oh no,” she said quietly.
“What is it now?” Emma turned and looked behind her. Lord Carne was riding up on horseback, looking extremely pleased with himself. Emma echoed Camilla’s sentiment. “Oh no…” She turned back to Camilla. “She has brought him here to meet my father. How could she do that? He is ill. He is…” Tears rose to her eyes and she lowered her head, placing one hand on her forehead. The thought of her father meeting the man, the Duchess of Corning introducing him as a suitor for her, was devastating.
Camilla grabbed both her arms and pulled her out of sight behind the tree and bushes behind it.
“What can we do, Emma? You cannot go in there and make a stand. It will look terrible on you and may hurt your reputation. The Duke of Lox would understand. We need to go find them.”
“They are not still here?”
“No, while you were talking to your father, they took Lady Christian back to wherever she came from. She was not happy here and I do not think the Duke of Rabney wanted her here.”
“What about the Duke of Lox? It seemed to me they were connected in some way. If not now, then in the past. And I do not think she believes it is over, if it is. She is the Duke of Rabney’s cousin, so she has been around the Duke of Lox for some time. I cannot compete with that.”
Camilla snorted softly. “The Duke of Lox did not appear to be very taken with Lady Christian to me. I do not think he wanted her here at all. You need to talk to him. You need to find out what is in his heart and his mind. You cannot just assume. What you see might not be what is really happening.”
“I thought he wanted to meet my father,” Emma said in a resentful tone.
Camilla frowned slightly. “Emma, why are you so determined not to see the good in the Duke of Lox? He seems such a gentleman, with quiet ways and good intentions.”
Emma did not say anything. She did not know why she continued to see the negative when it came to the Duke of Lox. She turned and peeked around the tree. Lord Carne had already gone inside. He left his horse tied to a post next to the Wentworth carriage. She looked back at Camilla. “I wish they had stayed.”
Camilla nodded. “Would you like to know what I think, Emma?”
Emma blinked at her, nodding.
“I think you are afraid of the changes that will be made if you let yourself love a man. We are young. Mother always says this is a confusing time because there is so much that needs to be done, so much we are expected to accomplish. For me, it is easier, not just because I have found a prospective husband but because my family is not in danger of losing everything. I know you do not want a marriage of convenience. But if you open your heart to the Duke of Lox, you might find that he is exactly what you need.”
Emma absorbed her cousin’s opinion. She was probably right. Emma was scared. She was scared of many things. Losing her father and having to marry for convenience were at the top of the list.
The look on Camilla’s face changed when she had a thought. She looked directly at Emma. “We must go find them. We must get away from here and find them.”
“We have no idea where they are. How will we find them? We cannot take a carriage or horses. We would have to go change to ride and…”
Camilla stopped her words, shaking her head. “No, Emma. We have two working legs. We will walk.” She looked up at the house. “We better go find them now. If you are forced to marry Lord Carne, I have a feeling he will keep you in a high tower away from everyone, isolated. He is obsessed with you. We must get to the dukes before your father…”
“He will hold on, Camilla. I know he will.”
Even as she said the words, she knew that if the Duchess of Corning introduced Lord Carne to her father as her suitor, he might feel content to just slip away, confident that his family was taken care of. Lord Carne would convince her father that he was the right man for her, that he dearly loved her and would treat her well. There was no reason for the Duke of Corning not to believe him. And he would surely believe his wife when she said it was the best thing for Emma.
Camilla turned away, still holding on to Emma’s hand. She moved through the bushes to a path that would lead them around to the fr
ont road without being seen. She and Emma had taken that path many times as young girls, exploring against their parents’ wishes. It may not have been ladylike. But it was fun.
The two young women hiked the path they had not taken for several years. It was somewhat overgrown but not enough that they could not take it easily while holding up their skirts.
“I do not know where you think we can go to find them,” Emma said in a mournful voice. “They could be anywhere.”
“I am thinking of it this way, Emma,” Camilla said, glancing over her shoulder. “You were not in your father’s room for a very long time. They may still be on the road.”
Emma shook her head. “But even if they are, they are in the Duke of Rabney’s carriage. We cannot compete with a pair of horses.”
Camilla looked like she had not thought of that. “Then we will go to town.”
