by Mia Ross
“He doesn’t seem to mind so much when you’re involved. After all, he let you take his place on the fence crew today,” she replied, still a little bewildered at how easily he’d stepped aside. Then there was his ongoing fondness for Ty, even though he’d known all along that the absent cowboy was the father of her twins. Morgan still wasn’t certain why her dad thought so highly of Ty, but there was no point in denying that he did. She didn’t have to understand the reasons to take advantage of the opportunity.
“All right, then, I’ll do it. But I want to do some of the physical stuff, too. Not just ’cause you can use me out there, but ’cause it’s good for me. I slogged through enough indoor rehab to know the outdoor kind is better. I like being out in the sunshine and fresh air, working with my hands, getting something practical finished. When I’m done, I like looking around and knowing that what I did that day mattered.”
“More than trophies and blue ribbons, you mean?”
“Something like that.” Staring out the windshield, his face took on a pensive expression. “It’s time for me to grow up. I’m not entirely sure how to make that happen, but I’ll figure it out.”
They’d never had a conversation even remotely like this one, and she was at a loss for what to say. Then inspiration struck, and she quietly said, “I know you will.”
Those warm hazel eyes locked with hers, and he gave her another one of his sheepish grins. “Thanks, MJ. Coming from you, that means a lot.”
As they got out of the truck and slowly walked inside together, it struck her that for once, she didn’t mind him using her old nickname. She wasn’t sure what that meant, but it was an undeniable change in her attitude about him. Whether that was good or bad, she couldn’t say. But, considering their tumultuous history, finding out which it was should be interesting.
When she got a look at Ty’s living room, she stopped dead in her tracks. “Where is everything?”
He glanced around as if he’d forgotten how empty the place was, then said, “Well, the mice got to all the upholstered stuff, and I had to get rid of it. It made for a nice bonfire.”
His chuckle sounded forced to her, and the sympathy she’d been feeling for him ratcheted up a notch. But he seemed to be determined to make the best of his bare-bones existence, so she decided it was wise to play along. “At least you don’t have to worry about your furniture clashing with the drapes.”
His muted grin told her that he appreciated her attempt at humor. The ranch house had three bedrooms off the main living area, and a dated galley kitchen that she could glimpse through the pass-through. “You know, if you tore down that wall, this would be a nice great room to hang out in. Put in an island and some tall stools, a jumbo flat-screen over there—” she pointed “—and you’d have a fabulous spot for entertaining.”
“Sounds good. Oh, wait,” he added, snapping his fingers. “I’m broke. Guess I’ll have to put all that on hold for a while.”
“Ryan and Ben did our kitchen reno a couple years ago. It didn’t cost that much, and it works a lot better for the family now.”
Ty shook his head at the suggestion. “Do I look like Mr. DIY to you?”
Actually, now that she considered his appearance, he still looked like the self-assured cowboy he’d been in high school. Only now, he struck her as being out of place, even in the house that he’d always referred to as home. That seemed odd to her, since he’d grown up here, racing through the living room to the kitchen after school. Getting scolded for leaving his barn boots on and tracking the mess across his mother’s immaculate floors.
In her memory, Morgan could still see the two of them sitting on the hearth in the wintertime, sharing a plate of fresh cookies while they thawed out after a ride. The image was so vivid, it almost scared her. Seeking a firmer hold on reality, she reminded herself that the boy in her Norman Rockwell vision had grown into the man who broke her heart and strolled out of her life just when she needed him the most.
The problem was, this time it didn’t work. Because the man standing in front of her was in more pain than he’d ever confess, possibly even to himself. And it wasn’t just that his back hurt, she knew. His life had imploded, and he had no idea how to go on as anyone other than Ty Wilkins, rodeo champion.
With that morose thought tumbling around in her head, she realized that the silence between them had stretched to an uncomfortable length. To cover her sudden discomfort, she went over to the large stone fireplace. The mantel held an impressive array of tall trophies, plaques and some of the gem-encrusted belt buckles he’d won over the years. They were the only personal items in the room, and she suspected that if she roamed through the rest of the house, she wouldn’t find any more.
This was the last of them, she realized sadly. The ones that meant so much to him, even in his darkest hour he couldn’t bear to sell them. Picking up one of the buckles, she read the year and smiled. “I remember this one. It was your first regional rodeo.”
“Yours, too,” he reminded her, coming over to stand beside her. “We really kicked it that year, didn’t we?”
“Yeah, we did,” she recalled, laughing. “And Sadie nailed one of the clowns when he got too close. It didn’t take them long to figure out that pretty as she is, she doesn’t put up with any nonsense.”
“Kinda like her owner.”
“Better watch it, cowboy. That sounded dangerously like a compliment.”
“It was,” he conceded, adding a mischievous grin. “But I promise to be more careful from now on.”
She wasn’t quite sure what he meant by that, but she felt on steadier ground now, so she opted to let the comment go. Setting the buckle in its spot, she looked over the rest of his collection, which was much smaller than it used to be. “Some of these have genuine diamonds and gems on them. You could have gotten a lot for them, so why did you keep them?”
“These are all my firsts,” he explained in a voice that sounded way too humble for the cocky rider she once knew. “That makes ’em special.”
A framed photo in the center of the display caught her eye, and she pulled it from its spot for a closer look. Spinning it so he could see it, she said, “This is us at Cheyenne Frontier Days, ten years ago.”
He simply nodded, and after waiting a few seconds, she realized that he wasn’t going to say anything about it. Irked by his suddenly uncooperative attitude, she glared up at him. “What’s it doing in with your favorite trophies? Is that how you think of me?”
“You know better than that,” he shot back, narrowing his own eyes right back to her. “It was the first time we went there to compete instead of watch, and I had a great time.”
“We both lost in the first round.”
“Not me.” After a few moments, he grinned. “You don’t remember, do you?”
“Remember what?”
“That was when you told me you loved me.” Taking the picture from her, he set it back in the place of honor on his mantel and swung a melancholy gaze back to her. “I’ve had a lot of firsts, but that one was extra special, because it was you.”
The softness in his mellow voice was doing strange things to her stomach, and she fought against it with a dose of common sense. “I’m sure you’ve heard that plenty of times since then.”
“You can believe whatever you want, MJ. But in spite of the fact that I messed everything up at the end, what we had together meant a lot to me.”
“Then why?” she heard herself ask. She hadn’t intended to confront him about his motive for leaving now—or ever—but suddenly, she had to know. “If you loved me so much, why did you just take off like that?”
Raking a hand through his damp hair, he stared at the collection of mementoes before looking at her. In his eyes, she saw a combination of remorse and anguish that would have shredded a heart much harder than hers.
“Fear.”
She snorted at th
e idea of it. “You’ve never been afraid of anything.”
“That night, I was.” Pulling away from her, he began pacing around the empty room as if searching for a way to explain his baffling decision to her. “It sounds crazy, but after I dropped you off at your place, it hit me that if we kept going the way we were, we’d end up married.”
“Sounds awful,” she scoffed, unable to see the problem. “And considering that you were so hot to have a family, and I was pregnant at the time, if you’d hung around, you would’ve had everything you wanted.”
Ty hesitated, which was unlike him. Normally, he jumped first and thought about it later. His unusual show of caution gave her the impression that he was about to share something that he’d never told anyone else.
“I did want a family.” Sighing, he fixed her with a woeful look. “But I didn’t want a family like the one I grew up in. Mom fussed about every little thing, and Dad worked all the time just to get away from her. When they were together, all they did was fight.”
“Yeah, I remember hearing them a few times when we were out on the porch.”
“We weren’t allowed to have pets in the house, ’cause they were too messy. The horses were okay, because Robby and I took care of them, and they never came inside. So we spent all our time outside ’cause that’s where we could act like kids and not get in trouble for it.”
He wasn’t explaining himself all that clearly, but Morgan knew him well enough to be able to fill in the blanks.
“So you were afraid we’d end up like that?” He nodded slowly, and she wanted to scream. “How on earth could you think that? I’m so much not like your mother, we could’ve come from different planets. And while we’re on the subject of fighting, us Whittakers are pros at it. What made you think we were the perfect family?”
“You weren’t, but you loved each other, and when something was wrong, you always worked it out.”
“What made you believe that you and I wouldn’t figure out how to handle things the same way?”
“Neither one of us is good at compromising.” Now that he’d finally hit the crux of what he’d been trying to say, he actually looked relieved. “I worried that we’d make each other miserable, and then our kids would grow up the same way I did. I didn’t want that to happen, so I left. I know it was cowardly, but I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Talk to me?” she suggested, her temper beginning to simmer as if his betrayal had happened yesterday. “Tell me how you were feeling? Or maybe leave me a note so I didn’t have to keep wondering what went wrong? Any of those would’ve been better than just disappearing that way.”
“That occurred to me a few months later, but by then I was afraid it was too late to make things right.”
He had a point there, she acknowledged with a mental sigh. Pregnant and unable to ride, she’d returned home and spent the final four months of her difficult pregnancy on strict bed rest. Doing everything in her power to ensure that her twins were born healthy. She’d hated him then, for being able to go on with his life as if nothing had happened.
It had never occurred to her that he might regret what he’d done. The man in front of her with his heart on his sleeve wasn’t the same guy she’d been picturing all this time. This was the Ty she remembered, the boy who was always coming up with something fun to do, the teenager who helped her perfect her calf-roping technique for her junior rodeo competitions.
The young man who kissed her in the moonlight one evening and promised her the stars.
Sweet as that image was, it conflicted with the one she’d formed of him over the years that he’d been gone. Was it possible that the humbling nature of his accident had gentled his arrogant streak? Since his apology that first day she saw him in town, she’d been struggling to reconcile her bitter memories with the amiable man who was trying to rebuild his life from the ground up.
Bewildered by the conflicting emotions swirling through her, she firmly shut them down and got practical. Going into the kitchen, she found some ibuprofen in the cupboard and filled a glass with water. Handing them over the pass-through, she simply said, “Take those.”
Judging by his grimace, he’d been expecting her to say something about his very personal revelation. She felt a twinge of guilt for disappointing him, but she didn’t know how she felt about it all. Until she did, she wasn’t about to say something she’d end up regretting later. He followed her order without complaint, draining the glass before setting it on the framed opening.
“Thanks for bringing me home,” he said politely, as if they were strangers. “I can manage from here.”
“Take it easy, and if you need anything, just call.”
That got her another woeful look, but he didn’t say anything else. That was good, she decided as she walked through the front door and out to the truck. Because she wasn’t sure she could give him any more than she already had. Not long ago, she’d have known for certain that having some kind of future relationship with Ty Wilkins would never happen.
But now that she finally understood the truth of what had driven him away from her, she could feel her resolve starting to waver. Doubting herself aggravated her to no end, and unfortunately she had a feeling that she was in for a long bout of it.
Chapter Seven
What was he going to do?
It had been a few days since his foolish attempt at reliving his ranching glory days, and Ty’s back finally felt good enough for him to walk more than a few yards. He’d been going stir-crazy cooped up at home and was just about giddy to be breaking up the monotony with a drive into town. It was summer, he reasoned, and the weather had brought out the sort of bright, endless blue that had given Montana its nickname of Big Sky Country. This was his favorite time of year, and he knew that should be more than enough to make him happy.
Instead, he was growing more worried by the day. He didn’t need much money to keep Clyde and himself going, but his modest savings wouldn’t last more than a few months if he had to keep dipping into it to pay their everyday living expenses. He needed a job that would at least help to keep him afloat until he could figure out a better long-term strategy.
While he tried to think positive, JD’s comment from a few weeks ago echoed in his mind.
Starting over ain’t easy, but it might go better if you get a little help once in a while.
The trouble was, Ty was used to taking care of himself, running things his own way without having to rely on anyone else. Admitting that he might not be able to live that way anymore was proving to be more difficult than he could have ever imagined during his carefree rodeo days.
“Mornin’, Ty!”
Through the open window of his truck, he heard the greeting as he drove through town. He couldn’t see who’d yelled his name, but he raised his hand in reply anyway. That was how it went all the way down Main Street, one person after another, until someone actually stepped into the empty street and held out his arms to make Ty stop.
“Perry Thompson?” he asked, easily recognizing their high school’s track star even after all these years. Tall and lean, he had the look of a man who’d made it a point to stay in shape as he matured. “What’re you doin’ here? Last I heard, you were running one of those ecotourism resorts in Hawaii.”
“Last I heard, you were tearing up the southwestern rodeo circuit,” his old buddy shot back with a good-natured grin. Wiggling his left hand, he proved his point with an unmistakable glint of gold. “Things change.”
Ty caught on to the upbeat tone and chuckled. “What’s her name?”
“Kailani.” Standing in the middle of the street as if it happened every day, Perry took out his phone and showed Ty the picture of a lovely Polynesian woman on a beach, holding a baby with her coloring and Perry’s blue eyes. “We got married on Maui last fall and moved back here just after that. She owns the Ohana Bakery you passed on your way into town. The litt
le one is Lea. She’ll be a year old in January.”
“They’re both beautiful. Congrats, man.” Ty handed the phone back, feeling a pang of envy for his friend. It must be nice to have all the pieces of your life in place and be able to look forward to the future instead of dreading what it might hold.
“Thanks.” The new father tucked his phone away and rested his elbows on the window frame of the pickup. “What’s up with you?”
“I’m out at the little ranch I bought from my parents a few years back.”
Perry tilted his head with a chiding look. “You’re not fooling me, dude. I know what happened with you and that bull. We all do.”
Wonderful, Ty thought with a mental groan. Not that he’d expected anything different, but since no one beyond the Whittakers had mentioned it to him, he’d allowed himself to believe that the residents of his hometown were too preoccupied with the impending development issue to pay much attention to his predicament. Normally, he hated being so wrong about something, but this time, he was surprised to find that he didn’t mind so much. In fact, he found it comforting to know that even though he hadn’t seen his hometown folks in a while, they still cared about him.
Another car finally turned onto Main Street, and he said, “It’s been good to see you, but I’d best get outta the way.”
To his surprise, Perry motioned for him to wait and climbed into the cab beside him. “I have something to ask you, if you’ve got time.”
“Dude,” he replied, echoing his friend’s earlier comment, “these days I have nothin’ but time.”
“Actually, I’m glad to hear that,” Perry said as they pulled into one of the angled parking spots that lined the modest business district.
About six blocks in length, it boasted shops that sold all the necessities of life in Mustang Ridge. Whether you needed a new saddle, tractor parts or repairs on your computer, the storekeepers pretty much had you covered. At the far end, like a tattered soldier keeping watch over the village, stood the farm store and grain elevator that had the distinction of being the first commercial building constructed in the town. Big Sky Feed and Seed had seen better days, but JD had told him that it still did a thriving business, mostly because it was the only one of its kind within twenty miles.
