by Leonra Worth
Judson saw the doubt in her pretty eyes but he also saw the hope there. He’d been acting like an imbecile, according to his Aunt Helena. After his bull riding accident and a solid three-day bender when Melissa had left him, that woman had ripped him a good one and made him see the light of day.
“You’ve got a chip on your shoulders the size of Texas. Just like your daddy. My brother, God rest his soul, hated the world and everybody in it. But, Judson, you don’t have to end up like him, alone and broke-hearted, and with a bad liver and a body that’s plum give-out. He died too young, son. But you’ve still got a chance if you clean up your act.”
Aunt Helena lived in Spirit and raised Judson after his daddy had died in a freak accident involving an overturned tractor. His aunt and uncle drove for two days straight across Texas to get Judson after a distant relative called and told them about his daddy’s death. Two days after his tenth birthday, Judson came to Louisiana to live with Aunt Helena and Uncle Ed. His mama left when he was a baby and nobody knew where she was. His aunt loved him and cared for his needs and tried to raise him to be strong and secure.
But even a good-hearted woman like Helena Herbert could only take so much. So she’d kindly pointed out that he was messing up, big time.
“Judson, I’m not getting any younger. I don’t have children of my own and so you’re it. I love you a lot but I’ll be headed to the nursing home in a few years. I’d like to see you married and settled before I die.”
“You’re not gonna die,” he’d argued. “And you aren’t quite ready for the nursing home just yet, so quit worrying.” But his aunt kept right on preaching it.
“You’ve got some issues because your mama left you and your daddy was a sorry excuse of a man, honey. But... we all got something. You know I’ve tried to raise you right. But it’s time for you to decide how you want to be the rest of your life—alone and miserable or with Melissa and happy. You think the rodeo is all you’ve got. But you are so wrong. There’s a lot of life out there to live and it doesn’t have to involve bulls and horses. You’re a smart man. You can do anything you set your mind to, so stop being a dolt and get on with it.”
He’d thought about that, drank his way through all kinds of scenarios and kissed on a lot of other women but, finally, he’d come to the conclusion he wanted more. His aunt was right.
He wanted Melissa. And he’d do whatever he could to make that happen. Right now, that meant facing her family and praying he got out of this wedding reception alive. So he gritted his teeth and put on his poker face and tried not to think about how Melissa might reject him, and not only because he’d used up all his chances. She might not want someone in her life who could barely walk.
After a moment or two of stunned silence at seeing him still there, everyone went right on talking as they all moved down to the lower level underneath the house. But the heat of unasked questions burned like a hot sun on Judson’s back as he followed Melissa to the big row of tables set up buffet-style on one side of the open air space surrounded by pilings.
When the touch of a feminine hand fell across his arm, Judson turned to find Mrs. Sonnier smiling softly at him.
“Hello, Miss Ruby,” he said through a gulp. Melissa’s mama was one of the few people he was afraid of. But he loved her and respected her, too, since she’d always treated him like one of her own.
“Hello, Judson,” Miss Ruby replied, her expression as serene and controlled as her short, clipped, dark blonde bob. “Are you here to eat and help us celebrate or are you here to drink and make a scene?”
Judson glanced over at Melissa. “I’m here to eat, Miss Ruby. To eat and... to win back your daughter.”
Miss Ruby nodded, a knowing light shining in her eyes. “Well, let’s get you a plate and get started on that.”
And with that subtle warning, couched in sweet charm, he had Melissa’s mom in his corner. And having her blessings meant a lot to Judson.
“I’m starving,” he admitted.
“I can tell,” Miss Ruby replied with a wink.
Chapter Three
“I thought you didn’t invite him,” Michelle whispered to Melissa a few minutes after they’d all been served.
“I didn’t,” Melissa replied, her plate full of food she couldn’t possibly eat. “I didn’t even give him the wedding date.”
“Well, somebody sure did,” Michelle replied. “I guess as long as he behaves, he can stay.”
“I think he got the message from Daddy and the boys,” Melissa retorted. “He promised me he won’t make a scene.”
“Right.” Her sister didn’t seem to believe her.
Melissa turned to face Michelle. “Judson and I... we can’t seem to get it right. But he says he’s changed. He says he wants me back.”
“He’s said that before.” Michelle reminded her with a gentle lift of her eyebrows. “You can’t go through this again, Missy.”
“I know.” Melissa wanted to defend Judson but she couldn’t. He’d hurt her too many times. “We’ll see how tonight goes and if he does anything to upset anyone, he’s gone.”
“Our daddy will see to that,” Michelle said. Then she poked Melissa in the ribs with her elbow. “But I have to say, Judson looks healthier and calmer than I’ve ever seen him.”
Melissa grabbed a napkin. “Really? I hadn’t noticed.”
Michelle actually snorted. “Okay. We’ll pretend you’re telling the truth.”
“I only noticed he’s limping a little and I think he’s in pain but... you know how he is. He won’t admit that to anyone.”
“I’m thinking there’s a lot of stuff he’s not admitting but... I’m going to stay out of your business.”
Melissa watched her big sister walk toward her always-smiling husband. Brodie helped her with her plate and planted a kiss on her cheek. Then Melissa saw Maddie and Sam huddled together at a center table Melissa had helped decorate with palm fronds and seashells and pretty candles. They were holding tight to each other. Sam feathered Maddie’s neck with kisses and then hugged her close.
Spike skipped from table to table, on the job to vacuum up any crumbs that might fall his way.
Shaking her head at the fluffy little dog’s antics, Melissa shifted to find a quiet spot and ran smack against Judson’s broad chest. “Oh, sorry,” she said, trying to move away.
He steadied her, his eyes moving over her face. “Let me help.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
He took her plate and nodded toward a table off to the side of the bride and groom. “Will you sit with me or would you rather be with your family?”
“I can sit while we eat,” she said, her heart sputtering a warning to go the other way. “But I do have some bridesmaid duties later.”
“Okay,” he said, sitting down beside her. “I’m sure looking forward to this meal.”
She could see that. Instead of the tiny third of a steak which she had on her plate, Judson had a huge T-bone on the heavy, floral, plastic plate filled with meat, potato salad, beans, and slaw.
“I see you found everything,” Melissa said, her stomach churning too much to do more than nibble.
“Yeah. Your mama guided me through. I think she’s protecting me from the A-Team.” He titled his head toward the men of the family. “They’re watching us right now.”
“Do you blame them?” Melissa asked, worried he’d ignite in anger if her daddy and uncle pushed him.
“No, I don’t blame them,” Judson said with sincerity. “I’ve treated you horribly and made a mess of things. I was so mad that I’d broken my leg when I got thrown off that ol’ bull last time; I wanted to take it out on everybody around me. Especially you.”
“Because I didn’t want you to go back on the rodeo circuit,” Melissa said, memories of trying to be his nursemaid while he was down and out coming back to jolt her into reality.
“Things didn’t go so well when we were confined together during your recuperation. You didn’t like that I sti
ll had to go to work each day.”
Judson chewed on a juicy hunk of steak. “Nope. I was drugged up and ornery.”
“You wanted a drink and you aren’t supposed to drink when you’re taking heavy medication.”
“Didn’t stop me,” he said, lowering his head. “What can I say, I’m stupid.”
She had to smile at that. “You can be at times.”
“You left me there to die, didn’t you?”
Glad that he was halfway teasing, she shook her head. “No. I left because you were throwing things and cussing like a drunken sailor, but I called your aunt to let her know.”
He leaned close, his eyes as blue as the ocean at midnight. “That call probably did save me. So, really, I guess I’m here mostly to thank you.”
This was new. Had he changed? He did seem more calm and mature. More determined, too. But time would tell. Meantime, she wasn’t taking any chances.
Melissa gave up on eating her food, her emotions ebbing with the tide. “I left you with a bad leg, Judson. You couldn’t even walk.”
“I couldn’t do anything,” he admitted. “But I milked it, you know. I didn’t want to be alone. That’s one of my problems, I reckon. I never learned how to be alone.”
Melissa dropped her fork and stared over at Judson. He looked so lost, so confused, that she almost touched his hand. But she held back. She’d seen that solemn, earnest expression after every fight they’d ever had. But one thing was different this time.
The sadness in his misty eyes.
In all of their fights and breakups and make-ups, Melissa had never once considered the source of all of Judson’s anger. He’d been abandoned as a child, left alone. His Aunt Helena had raised him and she was a good woman who loved her nephew. But... there had to be a hole in his heart that couldn’t be healed.
And what had Melissa done out of frustration and spite.
She’d left him alone and hurting and disabled.
After he’d crashed and burned in what should have been a comeback moment for him.
She almost blurted out that she was sorry. But she needed time to go back over their past arguments to see where she’d gone wrong. It wasn’t entirely his fault. She knew that and had accepted she could be a demanding brat at times.
So why did they always wind up hurting each other?
“Judson...”
“Hey, time for the bride and groom to cut the cake,” Brodie called out. “Where’s our number one cake server?”
“That’s me,” Melissa shouted, glad for the reprieve. Glancing over at Judson, she said, “I’ll talk to you later.”
She got up like the coward she’d become and wished she hadn’t had to leave him sitting there all by himself after he’d poured out his heart to her.
But when she glanced back, Brodie had gone over to sit with Judson. Brodie winked at her and then started talking in that Brodie way that seemed to soothe even the most savage beast.
Melissa only wished she could learn how to do that, especially with Judson.
The bride and groom danced out on the sand, wrapped in the kind of happiness that made everyone smile.
Melissa stood on the wide, planked porch of the still-new white house with blue shutters that Brodie had built for Michelle last year. Now Sam and Maddie would be moving into the loft apartment over Sam’s Surf Shack, which was huge in itself with industrial elements mixed in with beachy elements. Maddie had opened Madeline’s Beachside Closet right next door to the Surf Shack and business was booming for both of them. Her little mutt Spike had the easy life of moving back and forth between the boutique and the restaurant. Doggie heaven.
Their mom and two good friends were running Madeline’s Closet back in Spirit and Melissa helped out when she could. She worked freelance as a feature writer for a local monthly social magazine and was also a stringer and photographer for The Heart of Spirit weekly newspaper. But really, she was just drifting around, hoping to find something that excited her.
Photography was her thing. Michelle had taught her all about picture-taking and even though Melissa took pictures of people at events, she preferred taking still shots of landscapes and places. She’d been all along the bay and beach trying to capture some good sunrises and sunsets and she’d taken lots of shots up at Brodie and Michelle’s small inland ranch, too.
But something was still missing in her life.
Something aside from the man who stood down below staring up at her now. They’d eaten. Well, he’d eaten and she’d watched him. Then he’d mingled with her family and he’d been properly introduced to Sam and Brodie since they only met him briefly at family events before. Judson seemed to be fitting in with the two, in spite of being a few years younger than either of them.
Maybe her new brothers-in-law would be a good influence on Judson since he’d never had brothers and sisters growing up.
Why was she suddenly feeling sorry for him when she should be mad at him, anyway?
“Are you going down there?”
Melissa whirled to find her mama standing in the spacious, window-filled den behind her. The view from up here was incredible, so Melissa turned back toward the crashing waves and watched the rising moon, hovering like a pearl over the dark water. “I’m enjoying the quiet,” she said.
“You’re enjoying Judson.” Ruby responded on a low note. “Did you tell someone back home to leak our location on purpose?”
Melissa turned back to face her mother. “Mama, you know I didn’t. Why would I do something like that?”
Ruby advanced toward Melissa with all the fierceness of a mama bear. “Because you love that boy. Always have. Always will.”
Did everyone here see it? Did Judson see it?
“But loving someone can’t solve everything,” Melissa replied, neither confirming nor denying her mother’s observation.
“No, it can’t. Learning to live with someone you love can work though.”
“How did you and Daddy do it?”
“We fought and made up and then we discussed and compromised. It’s not all about romance and fairy tales, honey. It’s about real life.”
Hearing laughter from down below, Melissa said, “Michelle and Maddie seem to have found the fairy tales.”
“No, they found men who they could match and complement,” Ruby replied. “They found men who accepted them, flaws and all. They found ways to compromise.”
“Are you saying I can’t compromise? Or that I have too many flaws?”
Ruby chuckled. “I love you, honey. I’m blind to your flaws. And what I’m telling you is that you can learn to give and take, but you don’t have to settle. Remember that.”
“Do you think I’d have done that if I’d married Judson?”
“No.” Ruby patted her on the arm. “But you’ve certainly had your share of bad rebound romances each time you and he have parted ways.”
Her mother must have been referring to the one bad relationship she’d had in-between breakups with Judson. Melissa shuddered when she thought how close she’d come early last year to almost marrying a man who’d turned out to be an abusive jerk.
But Reese Sloan was out of her life for good.
“I’ll remember, Mama. I’ve got a lot to think about.”
Her mother’s smile was soft and full of an indulgence that always comforted Melissa. “The word compromise comes from the word promise, honey. It’s all about a mutual promise made between two people. If you want to be with Judson, then you’re gonna have to form a mutual promise with him to make things work.”
“A mutual promise,” Melissa replied. “I always thought compromise was caving, giving in, giving up.”
“It’s more about giving up one thing in order to gain something else,” her mother replied. “Something else that is much more important than settling or just accepting a situation. You’ll figure it out. You’ll know when you’ve reached that point.”
Melissa stared out at the dark water, her mind twirling with the whitecaps. “
Right now, I can’t seem to make any kind of decision, let alone a compromise.”
Ruby put her arm across Melissa’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go down and enjoy the DJ’s music?”
“Good idea,” Melissa said, thinking she didn’t want to dance. But a sweet country song made her want to sway to the music.
When she made it down the planked steps and past the sea oats leading to the beach, Judson was there waiting for her.
“I couldn’t make it back up,” he said, “but I wanted one dance with you before I find a place to crash for the night.”
“You’re not leaving?” she asked on a scared squeak. “I mean, going back to Spirit?”
“I can’t drive back tonight, Missy. I need to rest up between trips. It’s a mighty long drive and my leg is about to give out on me.”
“Did you find a room on the beach?”
“Not yet.” His velvet-soft gaze moved over her. “I rode hard to get here. Will you dance with me?”
What could she say? She wanted to hold him in her arms and tell him she was sorry they couldn’t love each other enough to stop all the drama.
Compromise. Don’t settle. A mutual promise.
Her mother’s words hit her like a rogue wave.
She had tried to settle with Reese. But she’d never tried to compromise with anyone. Not even Judson.
Maybe one dance would be the beginning of some sort of truce.
After all, what harm could there be in one dance with the man she’d decided she’d never be able to love again?
Chapter Four
Judson held Melissa close and inhaled the scent of her hair. She always smelled like his aunt’s flower garden, all sweet and sultry at the same time. Lilies and gardenia, honeysuckle and wisteria, roses and magnolias.
He’d missed her scent. And her hair. He’d missed all that long hair falling down to her waist. She threatened to cut it each summer when the Louisiana humidity would just about steam every bit of energy right out of a person. But he’d always tell her no and then he’d grab one of the many clamps or bands she kept dangling around the rearview mirror of his pickup and help her put it up in a jumbled mass that he’d later untangle and take down anyway.
