by Leonra Worth
Brodie hopped off the chair he’d been leaning on and nodded to Sam. “Time to head back to the coast, brother.”
Sam stretched and stood over where Judson sat on the bed with his leg propped up. “Remember what I said. Don’t do anything you’ll regret. Again.”
Judson thought his pain meds must be kicking in. Nothing about this day or being here was making any sense to him.
“Brodie, why did y’all do this?” He lifted a hand toward the tiny living room and kitchen. “Why’d you fix this place up and pick me up at the hospital?”
Brodie waited about three beats and then the front screen door flapped open. “Because of her,” Brodie said.
Melissa stood there with an overnight bag in her hand, wearing a short, red dress and matching red sandals. Her hair was pulled up on her head in some elaborate hairdo and her lips were as red as her dress. One long golden chain of a necklace slinked around her neck like a lasso.
Judson’s gut tightened at the sight of her. He could smell her perfume. It misted around him like a sultry night-blooming flower. Sam was right. He was an idiot.
Was she already dating someone else?
To hide the torrent of feelings surging through him like a broken dam, he snarled and said, “What’s she doing here?”
“That’s because of you,” Sam said. “Now we’re gonna leave you two alone to work this thing out but if she has to call either one of us to come back here tonight, it ain’t gonna be pretty, understand?”
Judson wanted to get in a fight with them, a down and dirty and nasty fight. But he couldn’t even move.
“We’ll be fine,” Melissa said as she dropped what looked like groceries on the little table someone had placed in the kitchen. “I told Judson I wasn’t leaving him again and I meant it. I did run up to Spirit to get some things in order. And now I’m back and I have a job and I’m going to make myself a life right here in Driftwood Bay.” She looked into his eyes, a definite dare flaring hot in her gaze. “With him or without him.”
“Okay, then,” Brodie said, “I’m tired and I want to see my wife. Sam’s tired and he wants to see his wife. You’ve got the weekend and then we’ll figure out what to do with him.”
Judson shook his head. “I don’t want to be anybody’s burden.”
“Everybody’s somebody’s burden.” Brodie pointed out. “Just relax, kid. You got a good-looking, smart woman waiting right here for you. Think about it. Don’t make trouble. Get well and get on with things.”
“I hate y’all,” Judson said as Brodie and Sam turned to leave. “I really do.”
The two men kept right on walking. Leaving him here with Melissa was a torment that would surely kill him.
She didn’t smile and didn’t speak. She just stood there in that red dress and stared down at him. “I’m not leaving this time, Judson. We all pitched in to get this place ready for you and a lot of people helped out. That’s what family does. You’d better get used to it.”
He could get used to this, without the bad leg. He could get used to her in that dress. Without the scowl on her face.
He could get used to a lot of things.
But he didn’t want charity or pity.
He just wanted someone to love him.
Maybe it was time to show that someone he could be capable of love, too.
Chapter Fifteen
“Eat.”
Melissa had kicked off her heels but still wore the red dress. Michelle and Maddie told her to work it, so she planned on doing just that. Now, she’d fixed some soup and added a plate of appetizers Betsy had sent along after the jewelry showing.
Judson had been mostly scowling but seeing the food tray made him sit up. “What’s all this?”
“Some of my mom’s chicken noodle soup and some fancy appetizers from the party I just left.”
He nabbed a tiny slab of bruschetta and stared at it before popping it into his mouth. “Good, whatever it is.” Then his gaze covered her, leaving a nice tingle along her spine. “You wore that?”
“Yes,” she said, touching at her upswept hair. “There were a lot of people there, dressed in cocktail attire. The jewelry was amazing. I can’t afford any of it right now, but one day. Meantime, I’ll be expected to attend a lot of these type functions so I have to dress the part.”
His gaze scorched her with a territorial sweep. “And what part is that, exactly?”
“I don’t like your tone,” she said, thinking his jealousy had caused more than one fight between them over the years. Maybe she should change into her sweats and tee shirt.
“I don’t like the idea of you prancing around in that dress and those shoes.”
“Judson, really? Are we going there?”
“We’ve been there before,” he said. Then he shoveled soup, spooning it with a rapid progression. “You know you make me crazy.”
“It’s just a dress. I wear them now and then.”
“And that makes me crazy. What are you doing here?”
“Isn’t that obvious? Somebody has to make sure you take care of yourself.”
“So you’re willing to do this all over again?”
“Yes, even after... you told me to leave. Again.”
He tore into the appetizers, eating the bruschetta and the stuffed olives, the cheese and fruit. “And you came back. Again.”
“Okay, enough.” Melissa had changed since the last time they’d been together in this way. “Here’s the deal. I have a good job now and I think I’m going to like it and I know I’ll be good at it. I’m going to live here in Driftwood Bay, in the cottage for now. But I plan to find my own place as soon as I can. You’re here and you’re recuperating. You need to rest, do your rehab, and get back on your feet. I don’t mind helping you but... things are going to be different. I’m stronger now and I won’t let you guilt me into anything. I’m not taking any bunk, understand. Now, man up and get yourself well so we can get on with this getting to know each other in a better way.”
Slamming down his spoon, Judson lifted the tray for her to take and then stared up at her with angry, deep blue eyes that hid his soul while burning straight through hers. Melissa set the tray on the nearby counter and braced herself for the worst. His gaze moved over her, the anger changing to a longing.
“I reckon I’m glad you’re here.”
He’d fight her every step of the way. But, this time, she wouldn’t fight back and then run away. This time, she’d stay calm and she’d stay here. With him.
“Good. Because you don’t have a lot of choices right now.”
“You’re trying to provoke me, aren’t you?” he finally asked.
Melissa brought him a caramel-chocolate brownie but held it on a napkin. “No. I’m trying to make you see what you have right here in front of you.”
“I see that brownie,” he said, a slight smile changing his scowl into something she could deal with. “And I want it.”
“Oh, you do?”
“Stop teasing me, Missy.”
She stood over the bed and offered him a nibble of the rich chocolate treat covered with pecans and caramel. “Here you go.”
Judson grunted and then took the morsel and chewed it, his eyes never leaving hers. Then he grabbed for her wrist. “I want more.”
And down she went, brownie and all.
Soon he had her in his arms, his hands pulling through her hair, tearing away the pins and clips that had made her presentable. His mouth captured hers and Melissa tasted the sweetness of chocolate and caramel.
The kiss was long and slow and sweet. She signed against him, her hair falling across her shoulders. Finally, he lifted away and looked into her eyes while he fed her pieces of the brownie and then finished off the rest. “You’re so beautiful. I don’t deserve you. I never have.”
Melissa shifted away so she wouldn’t hurt his leg. Or maybe so she wouldn’t do something stupid like kiss him again. “I understand that now. You’ve sent me packing so many times, I shouldn’t even be her
e. Why can’t you trust that we can make this work? You need to trust me, Judson. I’m the one who gets to decide whether or not you deserve me. I’m not all that worthy myself, you know.”
The old anger flared like a hidden ember in his eyes. “You don’t get it. I’ve always loved you. And I always will. But I’ve got nothing to offer you. Look at you, look at your family. Strong, solid, together. Y’all stand up for each other. I’ve got none of that.”
“You’ve got me,” she said, her heart hurting with a weight that might not ever lift away. “You’ve always had me. I’ve been here since the first time I saw you on the school playground.”
“I was so scared that day,” he said, his words a low growl. “New kid with old clothes and a whole lot of baggage. I had to fight and scrape my way into the inner circles of Spirit, Louisiana. But even now, I don’t belong anywhere.”
“But you walked right up to me.” She reminded him, the memory as strong as ever.
“Yes, because you smiled at me. You were this ray of sunshine in a bleak world. I was confused and I missed my daddy even though he pretty much made my life horrible. He... told me over and over that my mama had left because of me.” Looking away, he added, “That seems to be normal in my life. Everyone leaves sooner or later.”
Melissa put a hand to her mouth. Judson held so much angst behind those dark eyes. How could a father do that to a child? To leave a scar that ran so deeply, to force a child to accept the dreams he’d never had? To taunt a child about not having a mother’s love.
“Do you believe that?” she asked, trying to hold it together.
“Of course.” He bobbed his head. “He also convinced me that I could be a rodeo star. So he taught me about riding and horses and livestock, demanded that I learned all of it. It’s all I knew. The smell of the stables, the scent of fresh hay, the arenas and paddocks, and the people. I told you I got on my first sheep when I was a little boy.” He shrugged. “I fell right off and my old man laughed and made fun of me, him and his buddies. Just kept laughing while I scrambled out of the way and ran back to our trailer.”
She could see it all. The humiliation, the pain, the loneliness of not having a mother to guide him. A little boy in a dingy rodeo trailer, crying himself to sleep.
And he saw and felt that loss each time he was around her family. The pain of it must have stabbed at his open wounds like a rusty knife, causing him to relive that night when he decided he wasn’t worth anybody’s time or trouble.
She tried to reach out to him. “Judson?”
He slapped at her hand. “No. This is what I hate. This pity, this sympathy, the way you’re looking at me right now. I can’t handle it. I’ve fought against it all my life. I’ve fought people who tried to love me and teach me and make me a better person. I can’t get out of this pattern of ruining things. I never learned how to do that.”
Melissa moved away and found a chair. “And you’ve been trying to prove yourself ever since your daddy did that to you?”
“I guess so,” he said with a shrug. “Brodie told me about how his dad had done something like that. Forced him to get on a pony and he got thrown. But he managed to overcome all of that.”
“Yes, but it took him a long time,” Melissa replied.
“And... Michelle. He talks about her all the time. She changed him.”
“Do you think I want to change you?”
Another shrug. “I don’t know. You always wanted me to quit the rodeo. You asking me to quit the world I knew, it just didn’t make any sense to me.”
“Because you had some kind of death wish. You drew the meanest bulls, took the most risks, tried to outdo everyone and you’d become reckless. I... I didn’t want to watch you kill yourself because of a man who’s dead and gone.”
“He’ll never be dead to me,” Judson shouted, his fist slamming against the bedspread. “He’s inside my head.”
Melissa sank down beside him and forced his hand into hers. “Then put me in your head. Keep me in your mind. Let me show you can you’re worth the fight.”
He drew back. “I’m tired. I shouldn’t have told you all of that.”
Hurt and wondering if she’d ever get through to him, Melissa stood and lifted the tray of food and took it to the sink.
Quiet and still. I have to stay here and show him how much he means to me.
This would be a long night.
Judson dreamed of the stockyards.
He could smell the manure and hear the hands calling out to each other. He was young and his body was strong and sturdy. He didn’t hurt. Off in the distance, he saw his daddy waving to him, the desolate, flat land filtered in bronze and brown all around them. Smiling. He’d forgotten his daddy’s rare smiles. Judson took off running but before he reached his daddy, he woke up, gasping for breath.
Then he glanced around, disoriented, and saw a long figure curled up under a blanket on the old loveseat in the corner.
Melissa. Her hair fanned out around her like a golden halo, shimmering like spinning threads inside the moonlight that flowed through the old windows.
She’d stayed this time. Stayed through the worst of his fears and the loss of his dreams. She’d stayed here, quiet and still, by his side.
“Why can’t I let her love me?” he asked the quiet night.
“Why can’t you love yourself?” the night asked back.
He lay there, watching her. Watching over her for a change, images of their times together flowing like a soft breeze through his head. His leg hurt but his heart tore apart with each scene. Unraveled memories floated around him. But Judson pulled them all back together in a tapestry that shined so brightly, he couldn’t get it out of his head.
Because all of it, the best and the worst, had brought them back together here in a place that seemed to offer them healing and peace.
He wanted that with all of his heart. So he kept his gaze on her and then, when he drifted off to sleep at long last, Melissa was the only person he saw in his dreams.
Chapter Sixteen
The next couple of months moved in a fast-paced steadiness that left Melissa feeling fulfilled and content. She worked at the gallery during the day and helped out at after-hours and weekend events while going back and forth between the Sonnier cottage on the bay and the little cabin at Driftwood Ranch. Along with Brodie and Sam and a hired nurse here and there, they helped Judson to heal properly, made sure he took his medicine—antibiotics and pain pills, vitamins and lots of calcium and iron, and they took turns getting him to his checkups and therapy. He’d started limited physical therapy again, but for now he could get around on crutches for short sprints. The cast wouldn’t be removed for a few more weeks but his doctor assured him if he followed the protocol to the letter, he could walk on his own again by the end of the year. Sometimes, Melissa drove him to the bay where they’d sit on their driftwood log and listen to the waves cresting while they watched the sunset.
Fall was coming, the little nip in the air making the late summer humidity a bit more bearable. Michelle and her unborn baby were thriving. She glowed with happiness. Sam and Maddie loved working side by side. And Roscoe and Ruby were considering buying a small condo on the bay.
“So we can see our grandchildren.” Her mother had pointed out.
An unspoken truce kept Melissa and Judson held together, the threads of this special summer where they’d broken down all their barriers wrapping them in a new hope and a strong dedication to making this work. While he healed, Judson studied farm management online and planned to get a business degree once he was able to attend the nearby state college for night courses.
“I want to be well for you,” he’d told her one dark, rainy night as she sat with him and watched a sappy movie. “I want so much but... I’m learning patience and restraint. I owe all of you so much. When I’m well, I’m gonna be the best ranch foreman Brodie Stevens could ask for. And I’ll pay him back on the rent. I owe your family a lot.”
They’d all pitched i
n to help with his medical expenses. And he’d accepted that, too. For now.
Something had happened that first night after she’d come home in the red dress. She never asked him what had been the catalyst that changed his attitude, but the next morning he seemed rested and happier, a gentle resolve in his eyes. He’d changed, quieted, settled down to accept that he had to rely on someone else for a change.
And... he’d begun to look after her, too. Making sure she got enough rest, asking his day nurses to pick her wildflowers and sometimes ordering pizza to be delivered from a nearby joint up on the highway. They talked more and fought less. He’d begun to open up to her more. And while she wasn’t living here with him, she spent most evenings here before heading back to the cottage so she could get up early and go to work.
Tonight, she’d brought fresh vegetables and fruit and red meat, three things he needed to help his bones and muscles heal completely. No more enticing brownies for now.
When she pulled up into the yard at the ranch, she had to smile. Brodie and crew entertained Judson during the day while they worked on renovating the big cabin a few yards around the curve. He sat on the porch and watched the happenings from a distance, or sometimes Brodie would come and get him so he could watch up close and yell comments.
Tonight, with the sunset hovering sleepily over the trees to the west and the hot day turning cool in the gloaming, he waited for her in his spot on the porch. He looked clean-shaven and strong, his skin bronzed from hobbling around in the sun, his eyes bright with healthiness and rest.
“What are you doing?” she asked as she got out of the car with a smile. This was the dream she’d always held close to her heart. To have Judson with her.
“Waiting on you,” he replied with a grin. “I talked to my aunt today and she might come down for a visit soon.”
“Are you good with that?”
