by Daniel Defoe
Having thus spent nine Months in Holland; refus’d the best Offer ever Woman in my Circumstances had; parted unkindly, and indeed, barbarously with the best Friend, and honestest Man in the World; got all my Money in my Pocket, and a Bastard in my Belly, I took Shipping at the Briel,170 in the Packet-Boat, and arriv’d safe at Harwich, where my Woman, Amy, was come, by my Direction, to meet me.
I wou’d willingly have given ten Thousand Pounds of my Money, to have been rid of the Burthen I had in my Belly, as above; but it cou’d not be; so I was oblig’d to bear with that Part, and get rid of it by the ordinary Method of Patience, and a hard Travel.171
I was above the contemptible Usage that Women in my Circumstances oftentimes meet with; I had consider’d all that before-hand; and having sent Amy beforehand, and remitted her Money to do it, she had taken me a very handsome House, in — Street, near Charing-Cross; had hir’d me two Maids, and a Footman, who she had put in a good Livery, and having hir’d a Glass-Coach172 and four Horses, she came with them and the Man-Servant, to Harwich, to meet me, and had been there near a Week before I came; so I had nothing to do, but to go-away to London, to my own House, where I arriv’d in very good Health, and where I pass’d for a French Lady, by the Title of —.
My first Business was, to get all my Bills accepted; which, to cut the Story short, was all both accepted, and currently paid; and I then resolv’d to take me a Country-Lodging somewhere near the Town, to be Incognito, till I was brought-to-Bed; which, appearing in such a Figure, and having such an Equipage,173 I easily manag’d, without any-body’s offering the usual Insults of Parish-Enquiries:174 I did not appear in my new House for some time; and afterwards I thought fit, for particular Reasons, to quit that House, and not come to it at-all, but take handsome large Apartments in the Pall-mall,175 in a House, out of which was a private Door into the King’s Garden, by the Permission of the Chief Gardener, who had liv’d in the House.
I had now all my Effects secur’d; but my Money being my great Concern at that time, I found it a Difficulty how to dispose of it, so as to bring me in annual Interest; however, in some time I got a substantial safe Mortgage for 14000 Pound, by the Assistance of the famous Sir Robert Clayton,176 for which, I had an Estate of 1800 Pounds a Year bound to me; and had 700 Pounds per Annum Interest for it.
This, with some other Securities, made me a very handsome Estate, of above a Thousand Pounds a Year; enough, one wou’d think, to keep any Woman in England from being a Whore.
I Lay in at —, about four Miles from London, and brought a fine Boy into the World; and according to my Promise, sent an Account of it to my Friend at Paris, the Father of it; and in the Letter, told him how sorry I was for his going away, and did as good as intimate, that if he wou’d come once more to see me, I should use him better than I had done: He gave me a very kind and obliging Answer, but took not the least Notice of what I had said of his coming Over, so I found my Interest lost there for ever: He gave me Joy of the Child, and hinted, that he hop’d I wou’d make good what he had begg’d for the poor Infant, as I had promis’d; and I sent him word again, that I wou’d fullfil his Order to a Tittle; and such a Fool, and so weak I was in this last Letter, notwithstanding what I have said of his not taking Notice of my Invitation, as to ask his Pardon almost, for the Usage I gave him at Rotterdam, and stoop’d so low, as to expostulate with him for not taking Notice of my inviting him to come to me again, as I had done; and which was still more, went so far, as to make a second sort of an Offer to him, telling him almost in plain Words, that if he wou’d come Over now, I wou’d have him; but he never gave me the least Reply to it at-all, which was as absolute a Denial to me, as he was ever able to give; so I sat down, I cannot say contented, but vex’d heartily that I had made the Offer at-all; for he had, as I may say, his full Revenge of me, in scorning to answer, and to let me twice ask that of him, which he with so much Importunity begg’d of me before.
I was now up again, and soon came to my City Lodging, in the Pall-mall; and here I began to make a Figure suitable to my Estate, which was very great; and I shall give you an Account of my Equipage in a few Words, and of myself too.
I paid 60 l. a Year for my new Apartments, for I took them by the Year; but then, they were handsome Lodgings indeed, and very richly furnish’d; I kept my own Servants to clean and look after them; found my own Kitchen-Ware, and Firing;177 my Equipage was handsome, but not very great: I had a Coach, a Coachman, a Footman, my Woman, Amy, who I now dress’d like a Gentlewoman, and made her my Companion, and three Maids; and thus I liv’d for a time: I dress’d to the height of every Mode; went extremely rich in Cloaths; and as for Jewels, I wanted none; I gave a very good Livery lac’d with Silver, and as rich as any-body below the Nobility, cou’d be seen with: And thus I appear’d, leaving the World to guess who or what I was, without offering to put myself forward.
I walk’d sometimes in the Mall178 with my Woman, Amy; but I kept no Company, and made no Acquaintances, only made as gay a Show as I was able to do, and that upon all Occasions: I found however, the World was not altogether so unconcern’d about me, as I seem’d to be about them; and first, I understood that the Neighbours begun to be mighty inquisitive about me; as who I was? and what my Circumstances were?
Amy was the only Person that cou’d answer their Curiosity, or give any Account of me, and she a tattling Woman, and a true Gossip, took Care to do that with all the Art that she was Mistress of; she let them know, that I was the Widow of a Person of Quality in France; that I was very rich; that I came over hither to look after an Estate that fell to me by some of my Relations who died here; that I was worth 40000 l. all in my own Hands, and the like.
This was all wrong in Amy, and in me too, tho’ we did not see it at first; for this recommended me indeed, to those sort of Gentlemen they call Fortune-Hunters, and who always besieg’d Ladies, as they call’d it, on purpose to take them Prisoners, as I call’d it; that is to say, to marry the Women, and have the spending of their Money: But if I was wrong in refusing the honourable Proposals of the Dutch Merchant, who offer’d me the Disposal of my whole Estate, and had as much of his own to maintain me with; I was right now, in refusing those Offers which came generally from Gentlemen of good Families, and good Estates, but who living to the Extent of them, were always needy and necessitious, and wanted a Sum of Money to make themselves easie, as they call it; that is to say, to pay off Incumbrances, Sisters’ Portions, and the like; and then the Woman is Prisoner for Life, and may live as they please to give her Leave: This Life I had seen into clearly enough, and therefore I was not to be catch’d that way; however, as I said, the Reputation of my Money brought several of those sort of Gentry about me, and they found means, by one Stratagem or other, to get access to my Ladyship; but in short, I answer’d them all well enough; that I liv’d single, and was happy; that as I had no Occasion to change my Condition for an Estate, so I did not see, that by the best Offer that any of them cou’d make me, I cou’d mend my Fortune; that I might be honour’d with Titles indeed, and in time rank on publick Occasions with the Peeresses; I mention that, because one that offer’d at me, was the eldest Son of a Peer: But that I was as well without the Title, as long as I had the Estate; and while I had 2000 l. a Year of my own, I was happier than I cou’d be in being Prisoner of State to a Nobleman; for I took the Ladies of that Rank to be little better.
As I have mention’d Sir Robert Clayton, with whom I had the good Fortune to become acquainted, on account of the Mortgage which he help’d me to, it is necessary to take Notice, that I had much Advantage in my ordinary Affairs, by his Advice, and therefore I call it my good Fortune; for as he paid me so considerable an annual Income as 700 l. a Year, so I am to acknowledge myself much a Debtor, not only to the Justice of his Dealings with me, but to the Prudence and Conduct which he guided me to, by his Advice, for the Management of my Estate; and as he found I was not inclin’d to marry, he frequently took Occasion to hint, how soon I might raise my Fortune to a prodigious H
eight, if I wou’d but order my Family-Oeconomy so far within my Revenue, as to lay-up every Year something, to add to the Capital.
I was convinc’d of the Truth of what he said, and agreed to the Advantages of it; you are to take it as you go, that Sir Robert suppos’d by my own Discourse, and especially, by my Woman, Amy, that I had 2000 l. a Year Income; he judg’d, as he said, by my way [of] Living, that I cou’d not spend above one Thousand; and so, he added, I might prudently lay-by 1000 l. every Year, to add to the Capital; and by adding every Year the additional Interest, or Income of the Money to the Capital, he prov’d to me, that in ten Year I shou’d double the 1000 l. per Annum, that I laid by; and he drew me out a Table, as he call’d it, of the Encrease, for me to judge by; and by which, he said, if the Gentlemen of England wou’d but act so, every Family of them wou’d encrease their Fortunes to a great Degree, just as Merchants do by Trade; whereas now, says Sir Robert, by the Humour of living up to the Extent of their Fortunes, and rather beyond, the Gentlemen, says he, ay, and the Nobility too, are, almost all of them, Borrowers, and all in necessitous Circumstances.
As Sir Robert frequently visited me, and was (if I may say so from his own Mouth) very well pleas’d with my way of conversing with him, for he knew nothing, nor so much as guess’d at what I had been; I say, as he came often to see me, so he always entertain’d me with this Scheme of Frugality; and one time he brought another Paper, wherein he shew’d me, much to the same Purpose as the former, to what Degree I shou’d encrease my Estate, if I wou’d come into his Method of contracting my Expenses; and by this Scheme of his, it appear’d, that laying up a thousand Pounds a Year, and every Year adding the Interest to it, I shou’d in twelve Years time have in Bank, One and twenty Thousand, and Fifty eight Pounds;179 after which, I might lay-up two Thousand Pounds a Year.
I objected, that I was a young Woman; that I had been us’d to live plentifully, and with a good Appearance; and that I knew not how to be a Miser.
He told me, that if I thought I had enough, it was well; but if I desir’d to have more, this was the Way; that in another twelve Year, I shou’d be too rich, so that I shou’d not know what to do with it.
Ay Sir, says I, you are contriving how to make me a rich Old Woman, but that won’t answer my End; I had rather have 20000 l. now, than 60000 l. when I am fifty Year old.
Then, Madam, says he, I suppose your Honour has no Children?
None, Sir Robert, said I, but what are provided for, so I left him in the dark, as much as I found him: However, I consider’d his Scheme very well, tho’ I said no more to him at that time, and I resolv’d, tho’ I would make a very good Figure, I say, I resolv’d to abate a little of my Expence, and draw in, live closer, and save something, if not so much as he propos’d to me: It was near the End of the Year that Sir Robert made this Proposal to me, and when the Year was up, I went to his House in the City, and there I told him, I came to thank him for his Scheme of Frugality; that I had been studying much upon it; and tho’ I had not been able to mortifie myself so much as to lay-up a thousand Pounds a Year; yet, as I had not come to him for my Interest half-yearly, as was usual, I was now come to let him know, that I had resolv’d to lay-up that seven Hundred Pound a Year, and never use a Penny of it; desiring him to help me to put it out to Advantage.
Sir Robert, a Man thorowly vers’d in Arts of improving Money, but thorowly honest, said to me, Madam, I am glad you approve of the Method that I propos’d to you; but you have begun wrong; you shou’d have come for your Interest at the Half-Year, and then you had had the Money to put out; now you have lost half a Year’s Interest of 350 l. which is 9 l. for I had but 5 per Cent. on the Mortgage.
Well, well, Sir, says I, can you put this out for me now?
Let it lie, Madam, says he, till the next Year, and then I’ll put out your 1400 l. together, and in the mean time I’ll pay you Interest for the 700 l. so he gave me his Bill for the Money, which he told me shou’d be no less than 6 l. per Cent.180 Sir Robert Clayton’s Bill was what no-body wou’d refuse; so I thank’d him, and let it lie; and next Year I did the same; and the third Year Sir Robert got me a good Mortgage for 2200 l. at 6 per Cent. Interest: So I had 132 l. a Year added to my Income; which was a very satisfying Article.
But I return to my History: As I have said, I found that my Measures were all wrong, the Posture I set up in, expos’d me to innumerable Visiters of the Kind I have mention’d above; I was cry’d up for a vast Fortune, and one that Sir Robert Clayton manag’d for; and Sir Robert Clayton was courted for me, as much as I was for myself: But I had given Sir Robert his Cue; I had told him my Opinion of Matrimony, in just the same Terms as I had done my Merchant, and he came into it presently; he own’d that my Observation was just, and that, if I valued my Liberty, as I knew my Fortune, and that it was in my own Hands, I was to blame, if I gave it away to any-one.
But Sir Robert knew nothing of my Design; that I aim’d at being a kept Mistress, and to have a handsome Maintenance; and that I was still for getting Money, and laying it up too, as much as he cou’d desire me, only by a worse Way.
However, Sir Robert came seriously to me one Day, and told me, he had an Offer of Matrimony to make to me, that was beyond all that he had heard had offer’d themselves, and this was a Merchant; Sir Robert and I agreed exactly in our Notions of a Merchant; Sir Robert said, and I found it to be true, that a true-bred Merchant is the best Gentleman in the Nation;181 that in Knowledge, in Manners, in Judgment of things, the Merchant out-did many of the Nobility; that having once master’d the World, and being above the Demand of Business, tho’ no real Estate, they were then superior to most Gentlemen, even in Estate; that a Merchant in flush Business, and a capital Stock, is able to spend more Money than a Gentleman of 5000 l. a Year Estate; that while a Merchant spent, he only spent what he got, and not that; and that he laid up great Sums every Year.
That an Estate is a Pond; but that a Trade was a Spring;182 that if the first is once mortgag’d, it seldom gets clear, but embarrass’d the Person for ever; but the Merchant had his Estate continually flowing; and upon this, he nam’d me Merchants who liv’d in more real Splendor, and spent more Money than most of the Noblemen in England cou’d singly expend, and that they still grew immensly rich.
He went on to tell me, that even the Tradesmen in London, speaking of the better sort of Trades, cou’d spend more Money in their Families, and yet give better Fortunes to their Children, than, generally speaking, the Gentry of England from a 1000 l. a Year downward, cou’d do, and yet grow rich too.
The Upshot of all this was, to recommend to me, rather the bestowing my Fortune upon some eminent Merchant, who liv’d already in the first Figure of a Merchant, and who not being in Want or Scarcity of Money, but having a flourishing Business, and a flowing Cash, wou’d at the first word, settle all my Fortune on myself and Children, and maintain me like a Queen.
This was certainly right; and had I taken his Advice, I had been really happy; but my Heart was bent upon an Independency of Fortune; and I told him, I knew no State of Matrimony, but what was, at best, a State of Inferiority, if not of Bondage; that I had no Notion of it; that I liv’d a Life of absolute Liberty now; was free as I was born, and having a plentiful Fortune, I did not understand what Coherence the Words Honour and Obey had with the Liberty of a Free Woman; that I knew no Reason the Men had to engross the whole Liberty of the Race, and make the Women, notwithstanding any desparity of Fortune, be subject to the Laws of Marriage, of their own making; that it was my Misfortune to be a Woman, but I was resolv’d it shou’d not be made worse by the Sex; and seeing Liberty seem’d to be the Men’s Property, I wou’d be a Man-Woman; for as I was born free, I wou’d die so.
Sir Robert smil’d, and told me, I talk’d a kind of Amazonian183 Language; that he found few Women of my Mind, or that if they were, they wanted Resolution to go on with it; that notwithstanding all my Notions, which he could not but say had once some Weight in them, yet he understood I had broke-in upon them,
and had been marry’d; I answer’d, I had so, but he did not hear me say, that I had any Encouragement from what was past, to make a second Venture; that I was got well out of the Toil, and if I came in again, I shou’d have no-body to blame but myself.
Sir Robert laugh’d heartily at me, but gave over offering any more Arguments, only told me, he had pointed me out for some of the best Merchants in London, but since I forbad him, he wou’d give me no Disturbance of that Kind; he applauded my Way of managing my Money, and told me, I shou’d soon be monstrous rich; but he neither knew, or mistrusted, that with all this Wealth, I was yet a Whore, and was not averse to adding to my Estate at the farther Expence of my Virtue.
But to go on with my Story as to my way of living; I found, as above, that my living as I did, wou’d not answer; that it only brought the Fortune-Hunters and Bites184 about me, as I have said before, to make a Prey of me and my Money; and in short, I was harrass’d with Lovers, Beaus, and Fops of Quality, in abundance; but it wou’d not do, I aim’d at other things, and was possess’d with so vain an Opinion of my own Beauty, that nothing less than the KING himself was in my Eye; and this Vanity was rais’d by some Words let fall by a Person I convers’d with, who was, perhaps, likely enough to have brought such a thing to pass, had it been sooner; but that Game began to be pretty well over at Court: However, he having mention’d such a thing, it seems, a little too publickly, it brought abundance of People about me, upon a wicked Account too.
And now I began to act in a new Sphere; the Court was exceeding gay and fine, tho’ fuller of Men than of Women, the Queen not affecting185 to be very much in publick; on the other hand, it is no Slander upon the Courtiers, to say, they were as wicked as any-body in reason cou’d desire them: The KING had several Mistresses, who were prodigious fine, and there was a glorious Show on that Side indeed: If the Sovereign gave himself a Loose,186 it cou’d not be expected the rest of the Court shou’d be all Saints; so far was it from that, tho’ I wou’d not make it worse than it was, that a Woman that had any-thing agreeable in her Appearance, cou’d never want Followers.
