by K T Bowes
Logan heard her ragged breaths and slipped off his shirt and jeans, crawling into the bed next to her. He soothed her with gentle kisses and Hana snuggled into his arms. His boxer shorts felt soft against her palms and she pressed her body against him, desperate for distraction. The very thing which got her into trouble promised to offer a temporary reprieve and she clung to Logan, hauling his shorts over his smooth skin. She bent him to her will and he loved it.
Michael smirked the next morning as Logan treated Hana like china during breakfast. When she rose to leave the table, his brow knitted at the sight of Liza’s jodhpurs clinging to her thighs. He glanced towards Logan’s back, watching as his brother loaded their plates into the dishwasher. “Is that a good idea?” he hissed, jerking his head towards Hana’s abdomen. She felt her cheeks flush.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” She glared at him and he pursed his lips and allowed a flash of respect to cross his face.
“It’s your funeral,” he breathed and Hana fought the urge to slap the smug expression through the back of his head. She left the kitchen ahead of Logan, forcing him to jog to catch up.
Jack met them at the stables. Sacha scraped the ground with a dinner plate sized hoof, a rope tied from her halter to the wall. She turned to face Hana and her ears flicked forward and back. A stocky bay pony tore hay from a rack and swished her tail from side to side. Sacha screwed her neck around and eyed the pony with a glint in her blue eye.
“Don’t even think it!” Logan snapped and she blew out a warm breath. The glint in her eye remained.
“Where’s Digger?” Hana asked, looking for the Appaloosa she favoured. Logan shrugged and refused to get eye contact. Jack tugged on Hana’s hand and turned her towards the pony.
“You’re kidding me?” Hana’s eyes narrowed to slits and she glared at Logan. “Is this your idea?”
Jack tugged on her hand again and led her towards the pony. He made a series of grunts and pointed at the saddle. Slapping the pony’s neck, he let go of Hana and hauled a stirrup iron into place.
Hana followed Logan up the steep paddock towards the bush line. She seethed under the success of his revenge as her mount plodded beneath her. “How big is this pony?” she demanded.
“Big enough.” Logan glanced behind, dropping his gaze to her height. “Nobody ever fell off her.”
“You use her for the kids’ treks, don’t you?” Hana didn’t hide her irritation. She leaned down to see how far her feet hung from the ground. “I didn’t need Jack’s help to mount; I could have just swung my leg over from ground level!”
Logan grinned. “I don’t know what you mean.” The little pony snorted and picked her feet up as they went through the second gate into the bush. She stuck to the back of Sacha’s heels, wise enough to remain just out of reach. Hana longed to blow the cobwebs away with a decent canter but Logan’s circuitous route made it impossible.
Hana settled and behaved as the ride progressed. They reached the lookout without incident and Logan relaxed as her feet touched the lush grass. He turned the horses loose and joined Hana on the edge of the cliff. Her voice sounded lazy. “Remember the last time we came up here?” she asked, shielding her eyes against the bright sun.
“Yeah.” Logan bit his lower lip to hide the smug smile. He leaned down and kissed her neck. “Want a repeat?” Hana gasped as he turned her body into his and his hands roved over the back of her jodhpurs. His voice sounded muffled by her hair. “I don’t need to control myself this time.” He slipped his fingers into her waistband and dragged them across her skin, searing the flesh with his touch. When he undid the button and released the zipper, Hana conceded defeat.
Sacha munched around them as they lay in the long grass. Hana stared up at the sky and pulled Logan’s abandoned shirt over her goose pimpled skin. “She looks different.” She squinted through one eye as the regal nose tore at grass stems near her face.
Logan sighed. “Nobody told me the Appaloosa stallion got out. She’s in foal so I haven’t ridden her hard. She can manage for a few months yet but it affects my confidence in her. This is her last ride out for a while.”
Hana rolled away from him and leaned on her elbows, butt naked against the big blue sky. “I don’t want it to be like this for the next eight months,” she sighed. “It’s not fair.”
“What?” Logan traced lazy arcs over her spine.
“You know what. I won’t let you put me out to grass until it all goes wrong.”
“Have a little faith,” he whispered and pushed her over onto her back.
Hana enjoyed the ride down. She accepted the slower pace with grace, concerned for Sacha’s comfort more than her own. Arriving in the kitchen in the hope of food, her mood changed at the sight of Tama seated at the kitchen table. Hana stopped in her tracks in the open doorway, almost letting it go in Logan’s face. Her body stiffened. “Why is he here?” she hissed and Logan shrugged and shook his head.
“Hi Uncle Logan.” Tama rose, displaying a vivid black eye and a long cut down the side of his nose.
“Hey,” he replied.
Hana’s appetite abandoned her and she followed it, heading up to Logan’s bedroom. She lay on the bed and sulked. Her hand strayed to her stomach and she wondered how far back her pregnancy dated. Despite her innate desire not to bond with a child with no future, Hana found herself praying for a girl. “You must be a girl,” she whispered. “I threw up with Izzie but not with Bo.” She sighed, remembering how she also suffered fainting fits in the first trimester. Something to do with an oestrogen increase with little girls, her midwife said.
Hana imagined Logan holding his own little girl, playing with her in the park and walking her down the aisle. She conjured up a dark haired, elfin child with grey eyes and fear snaked grizzled hands around her heart. Hana turned on her side and closed her eyes, forcing the thoughts away.
Instead, she focussed on Tama’s presence, drumming up enough irritation to distract herself. Something about his visit to the hospital tugged at her memory and she sensed she’d missed an important fact linked to the blonde man. When her memory failed her, Hana prayed for clarity and protection over her unborn child. Even though she didn’t deserve his clemency, she hoped God would listen.
Hana slept through the afternoon and woke feeling groggy and disoriented. She found a luke-warm mug of tea on the bedside table and drank it, kidding herself it wasn’t cold. Too tired for a shower, she changed into Logan’s tee shirt and snuggled into the bed. A knock on the door disturbed her and she waited, hoping the visitor got the hint. They knocked again. “I’m not dressed,” she called, punctuating the words with a cough. “I’m sleeping.”
The keypad clicked and the door creaked open. Hana’s eyes widened in fear and she half sat up. “Who is it?”
Michael poked his head around the door. “Just seeing how you feel,” he said, his eyes roving over her torso. Hana sank under the sheets.
“I’m fine. I don’t need anything.”
Michael ventured further into the room, a curious sadness hanging around him like a shroud. “I know you’re pregnant,” he said, standing next to the bed. “It’ll be fine.”
Hana snorted and pulled the sheets around her so the outline of her legs resembled a mermaid’s tail. “Is that your professional opinion or a lucky guess?”
“Both.” Michael smiled. “I envy my little brother right now.” Hana cringed and gave him a warning glare. Michael laughed. “You’ve nothing to fear from me, Hana,” he said, his tone light. “I don’t intend to risk my relationship with Logan again. He loves you. Stick it out and make it work. He deserves something good in his life.”
“Why did you take Caroline?” she said, not formulating the question in her brain before she expressed it. “Why such cruelty? What did he ever do to you?”
Michael shrugged. “I took her because I could.” His jaw flexed in his face. “And I promised.”
“Promised who?” Hana’s eyes narrowed.
“Who asked you?”
Michael licked his lips, regret showing in his eyes. “It doesn’t matter. Family stuff. They weren’t meant to be together, so I broke it.” He sighed. “She got pregnant and aborted the child. It destroyed Logan even though she said it was mine. He would’ve accepted it but she didn’t give him the chance. He’s been a pawn for too many people in this family, Hana. Get him away from here and keep him away.”
She held her breath as Michael gazed at her tousled hair. It lay across the pillow like a brown curtain. “Logan called you, ‘The girl on the train.’ He described you when he got back to the hotel. He changed that day. Caroline messed with his head and the disappointment of not finding you meant he let her.” Michael leaned forward and took one of Hana’s curls, wrapping it around his finger. “You shouldn’t dye it,” he said. “He always loved the red.” The bedroom door clicked shut behind him and Hana released her breath.
The light outside faded as she snuggled inside her cocoon of duvet and blanket, abdicating from life for a while. A clatter against the door marked the arrival of both Logan and Miriam, bearing soup, bread and fresh drinks. Miriam’s eyes looked red rimmed and puffy and Logan rolled his eyes heavenwards behind his mother, begging Hana not to ask.
Miriam fluffed around shutting curtains and straightening Hana’s discarded clothes. Logan waited for Hana to sit up before setting the tray on her knees. “You should eat,” he said, his voice low. “Keep your strength up.”
Miriam cleaned the bathroom and avoided contact with Hana, her presence odd and unsettling. Hana ate half the soup, watching as her mother-in-law whisked the tray away. With her hasty exit, Logan collapsed onto the bed. “You chose the right afternoon to sleep through!” he exclaimed, running his left hand over his eyes and catching his brow with the edge of the cast. “Bloody hell!” He glared at the tattered plaster. “I want this off! Jack won’t do it.”
“Tell me what I missed,” Hana asked, sipping her tea. She regretted the question as Logan regaled her with the events of a traumatic afternoon. Miriam sobbed over the loss of Barry, her tears ruining a batch of carrots. Tama sat in the kitchen, shooting smart comments in Michael’s direction. “I don’t know why I stayed,” Logan grumbled. “I kept checking on you but didn’t want to abandon you by leaving the house.”
“Sorry.” Hana covered a yawn with her hand. “I didn’t mean to cramp your style.”
“Hey.” Logan squeezed her fingers and shot her a look of disapproval. “I didn’t mean that and you know it.”
“What happened next?” Hana asked.
Logan quirked an eyebrow. “Tama pushed too far and slagged off his mother. Michael flew across the room and pinned him against the wall.” He shook his head. “Dickhead asked for it.” His brow furrowed. “Michael said he loved her and she chose Kane. Then he gave Tama a slap and stormed out.”
“I’m glad I missed that,” Hana breathed. “Then what?”
“Tama burst into tears like a big sooky baby.”
Hana wriggled her nose and put her empty mug on the bedside cabinet. She yawned and snuggled under the covers. “Did Tama leave?”
Logan yawned and shook his head. “No. That’s the weird thing. Michael came back to apologise and drove Tama home.”
“How did Tama get the black eye?” Hana asked. “Did Michael do it?”
Logan lifted himself onto one elbow, shaking his head. “He told Ma Ivan did it. I don’t know who that is.”
Hana groaned. “He’s Anka’s husband.” She hid her face in the pillow. “I don’t want to think about that now. I’ve got problems of my own.”
“Nothing’s insurmountable.” Logan stripped his clothes off and clambered into bed. “Trust me, Hana,” he whispered into her hair.
“It’s so hard though,” she replied, sleep stealing the end of her sentences. “Everything is a mess. I need the men to stop chasing me. I need our baby to survive. Nothing is within my control and I don’t like it.”
“I know.” Logan drew her into his chest and held her as Hana drifted off to sleep. She twitched and jumped as her dreams swirled around her and significant features of her recent troubles slotted into place.
The nagging thread of understanding unravelled in Hana’s brain, gathering events and factors into a different order with a click. She woke, knowing everything centred around the small metal box she handed to Jas. She lay in the darkness and listened to Logan’s steady breathing. Testing the theory over and over, it fitted each scenario, yet she knew she wouldn’t tell Logan. When it sounded so fantastic in her own head, she couldn’t tell someone else. First, she needed to claim it back.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Hana worked her way through Liza’s abandoned stash of casual clothes until Sunday. Then Logan called time on their impromptu holiday. “But I don’t want to leave.” Hana pouted and pushed her face into the pillow. “I want more gun lessons.”
“You just need to practice now.” Logan ran his rough palms along her spine and sighed. “You know what you’re doing with it. Practice will help you control the kick back in your wrist.”
Hana snuffed into the soft fabric. “I love it here. It’s safe.”
Logan kissed her cheek. “The longer we stay, the harder it gets to leave. And Maihi’s walking to the house every day. It’s not fair on her.”
“Can we ride up to the paddock one last time?” Hana turned onto her back and Logan bit his bottom lip as her tee shirt rode up over her thighs. “One last look at the sea.”
“Maybe.” He pushed his face into her neck and nuzzled the delicate flesh. “I need to look at the accounts with Jack and I’m not sure we’ll have time.”
“Why do you look at the accounts?” Hana nudged his shoulder to distract him. “Is it because Alfred can’t read?”
Logan sighed and rolled onto his back, the moment destroyed. He stared at the ceiling. “I studied accountancy at night school in England, Hana. I just help out.” His fingers snaked across the mattress until he found her bare thigh. “Stop asking so many questions.”
“You’re different here.” Hana let out a giggle at the tickling sensation of his fingers, sensing he sought to silence her. “The men are scared of you. Except Toby and Jack.”
Logan snorted and his fingers strayed higher. “Nobody’s scared, Hana.”
“They are.” She wriggled backwards. “You’re scary.”
He laughed, but it sounded hollow. “They know not to mess with me. My parents lost the plot after we all left and visits home found discrepancies in the accounting and cash flow. I sorted it out and fired a few guys. Grown men don’t listen to a teenager, Hana. You make them listen. My reputation grew bigger than me that’s all.”
“Shouldn’t Michael take it over? Or Liza? She’s the eldest.”
Logan shook his head, the action slow. “They don’t want it. All they thought about was getting away from here and everything it stands for. It’s a millstone, Hana. A money sucking pit of family history and tragedy.”
Hana heard a latent sadness in his tone and sensed the delicate thread which kept him returning to the mountain. He couldn’t escape and the thought caused conflict in her heart. If he couldn’t abandon the stronghold, its ties might bind her to it also.
Logan’s grey eyes turned the colour of dark, storm-laden skies and Hana jumped as he moved with surprising swiftness for a man with a stomach wound and a broken arm. He pinned her in place beneath him and hiked up her skimpy tee shirt. “No more questions,” he whispered and covered her mouth with his.
Hana sulked as they packed up to leave; delaying the process by washing Liza’s borrowed clothing.
“Hana!” Logan snapped, finding her in the laundry room loading jeans and a sweater onto the drying rack. “I said we’d leave an hour ago. Stop stalling.”
“What’s the rush?” she demanded, turning with a lonely sock in her hand. It hung limp and pathetic over her fingers. “I want to ride one more time.”
/> “No.” Logan leaned against the doorframe and ran a hand through his hair. “We need to get back. Are you up to driving?”
Hana narrowed her eyes. “No. I feel faint. You’re not insured to drive Bo’s car, especially not with a broken arm.”
Logan shook his head. “I’ll drive. I have my own insurance.”
Hana turned back to the drying rack with a sigh and he leaned over her shoulder and snatched the sock from her fingers. “Leave that. Leslie will do it!” He threw it back into the laundry basket. Hana gasped in shock and glared at him.
“Stop bullying me!” She raised her voice and her hand went instinctively to her stomach. Logan’s eyes tracked the action and fear budded behind his darkening grey eyes.
“I need to get back.” He gritted his teeth. “I’m meeting someone.”
“Who?” Hana stood up straighter. “You didn’t say.”
Logan turned towards the doorway and waved his right hand over his shoulder. “I don’t need to chart my every movement with you, Hana. You’re my wife, not my event convener. We’re leaving so get your ass out to the car.”
Hana ran to the door and jabbed a finger at his back. “Or what?” she shouted after him. “Or what?”
Logan’s grin chilled her blood. “Or I count to five minutes and leave you here.”
Hana inhaled and rage filled her lungs. “Damn you, Logan Du Rose!” she hissed under her breath.
“A few wahine have said that over the years.” Leslie let herself in through the door from reception and eyed Hana’s basket of wet washing. “Mr Logan asked me to sort out Liza’s clothes. I’ll get the girls to do it.”
Hana gritted her teeth and fixed a fake smile onto her lips. “Thank you. But I wore it so I’ll sort it.” Her brave expression failed. “But please may you fold it and put it back in her room when it’s dry. My husband says we’re leaving soon.”
