by Lexi Hart
A slow smile creeps over my battered face.
I don’t know what I came here for. But I didn’t in a million years expect to fall asleep and dream I was still locked inside that room with Jess.
I sure as shit didn’t expect to be invited inside for some cake by a man who should hate me. “You sure?” I ask.
He frowns at me and extends his hand. “I’m sure I’m not eating this alone, and don’t pretend to eat it, she’ll know.”
Despite myself, I laugh. Because that’s just the kind of attitude I’d expect from Jess’ daughter.
My fingers clasp onto his, and he wrenches me up. “Okay.”
And for the first time since coming home, standing in Jess’ front yard, with her daughter waiting for me at her kitchen table, I think there’s a chance I can be.
BLAIRE
Two weeks later.
I’m almost finished reading through my first draft when there’s a knock at my door.
Since no one knows where I live apart from Nick, Chloe and Abbie, I don’t hesitate to answer it.
Nick is standing there, looking awkward, and I know before he speaks he has some news.
My mind immediately jumps to Mom, then Chloe, so when I open the door, expecting to see Chloe beside him, my heart nearly leaps out of my chest.
Wearing his dress blues, his hat tucked under his arm, is Luther.
I blink twice and have to remind myself to draw breath. I gulp, heat running over my skin as looks me over way too suggestively considering my brother is right there.
Nick gives me a shallow smile. “This showed up at my door couple hours ago asking for you. Chloe nearly fainted.”
A smile twitches at Luther’s lip, letting me know my sneaky little brother has had way too much time to get to know Luther.
Nick steps back and extends his hand to Luther surprising me further. As if seeing him again wasn’t enough the next words out his mouth knock the wind right out of me. “I’ll be in touch,” Luther says.
Nick gives him a clipped nod that lets me know he and Luther have already made some kind of plan I’m not privy to.
After a handshake, Nick looks at me. “Chloe wants to see you both for dinner tonight if you’re back in time?”
I’m so stunned Luther is here, looking incredible and that everyone seems to be conspiring against me, that I look at Luther. “Back in time?”
Luther looks decidedly uneasy. “I need to go say goodbye to a friend. I was hoping you’d come with me.”
Whoever it is he wants to take me to see, Nick and possibly Chloe, know all about it.
I’m still frowning when Nick climbs inside his car and pulls away after a lazy wave.
I swallow hard and try to still my raging hormones when Luther steps so close he’s within touching distance. “Where have you been? And why are you dressed like this?”
His confidence slips a little as he looks everywhere but at me. “I needed to make sure I was getting better before I came to see you.”
My eyebrows rise. “And are you?”
A smile flickers at his lips. “The doc thinks so.”
Surprise makes my jaw slacken. “You’re getting professional help? You’re sleeping?”
He nods. “I still have a long way to go. But yes, I’m making progress. So, if you’re up for a road trip, I’d like you to come with me.”
Whoever this friend is, he’s important to Luther. And I know Nick would never have brought him here if he hadn’t earned his trust.
Still, I’m cautious as I nod my agreement. “I’ll get my purse.”
He doesn’t ask to come inside, and I’m not sure if I’m disappointed. Despite my irritation he’s been scheming behind my back with my brother, I’m practically drooling.
Inviting him inside while he’s dressed like that, could lead to me forgetting he’s disappeared without a trace, leaving me hanging for two weeks.
I shrug my coat on, grab my purse, and lock my front door. He’s still waiting by his truck, afternoon sunlight falling on his chiseled cheekbones, catching the buttons on his dress jacket. His shoes are so shined, I swear I could see my reflection. Whoever this friend is, Luther wants to impress him.
He opens my door for me, gives me a tight smile, then climbs in the driver’s side. “I’ve been putting this off. My therapist thinks I need to honor her memory. And this seems the best way to do it.”
The penny finally drops as he switches the engine on and pulls out into my tree-lined street. “We’re going to a, um, cemetery?”
He nods, his eyes on the road, posture rigid. “I asked for permission to wear my dress uniform. I never got to go to the memorial.”
I swallow, throat closing over as he keeps driving. I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing, so I just stay silent as he drives towards the military cemetery I only know is there due to signage.
He doesn’t talk, and after not seeing him for two weeks, I’m not sure what to say to him anyway.
The only thing I am sure of is that Luther is getting the help he needs. If I can play a small part in helping him to heal the scars he wears internally, then it’s worth the effort to come with him.
We pass through the gates, and my stomach tightens as he finds a parking space. He exhales slowly, closes his eyes and I’m sure there’s a slight shake to his hands.
When he doesn’t move, and just stares straight ahead, I reach over and place my hand on his.
He snaps his head in my direction and works his jaw furiously as his fingers curl over mine. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
He gets out of the truck, and I watch him try to pull himself together as he places the cap on his head and opens the door for me.
My fingers lace into his as he helps me out. Sun shining down on us, we slowly walk towards the thousands of headstones in the grass.
With each step, Luther’s body grows tenser, his fingers are gripping mine so tight, I know he’s struggling to stay composed.
My respect for him only grows when he directs me to a grey headstone and stops directly in front of it.
He doesn’t say a word, just stares at the slab of mason, a blank expression on his face.
I squeeze his hand and read the headstone and suddenly realize who we’re saying goodbye to.
Jess ‘Mad dog’ Carlson.
January 12 1991-September 14th 2018
Corporal United States Marine Corps
Mother to Gracie, beloved wife to Mike
I look at Luther, and he slowly reaches into his pocket and pulls out a coin.
He places it on the headstone and dips his chin. Not understanding the significance of the quarter, I stay silent as he swallows hard and keeps his eyes on the headstone.
Minutes pass, and I stay by his side, holding his hand, while he just stares ahead, not saying a word, just stiffly staring at the quarter.
I’d almost think he was unaffected, if it weren’t for the way he can’t tear his gaze away.
When he does speak it’s not what I anticipated hearing. “Oorah you mad bitch. You were the best of us all.”
Without a word of explanation, he pulls me away, leaving me questions I’m half afraid to ask.
I make it to the truck before I risk seeing if he’s up to speaking. His face seems a little lighter as he opens the door for me. “Why a quarter?”
He pulls his hat off and climbs in beside me before he answers. “It’s a tradition. Different coins have different meanings. A quarter means I was with Jess when she died.”
He plucks at his top button and pulls his jacket off, so he can roll up his sleeved before he takes a shuddering breath. “We were deployed together in June. It was supposed to be over in six months, Jess was looking forward to getting back for her daughter’s first birthday.”
I focus on breathing in and out, and to not break the moment by asking him questions. “We were just doing a final check of buildings before we left the area when our company started taking heavy fire. We were pinned down, running low on ammo
and a sniper was firing at us. Jess and I got caught between a building and the courtyard. We were cut off, and we had no eyes on the rest of the company.”
He releases a pained breath. “Jess took a hit and I knew if we held our position and waited for the rest of the company to locate us, she’d die.”
My body is rigid as he carries on as though he needs to get the words out. “I saw a chance to enter a building, and I convinced Jess we needed to move before she bled out.”
He looks so tortured I need to say something. “You were trying to save her life.”
His shoulders slump as he shakes his head. “It was pointless. We were captured, and she still died.”
I flinch as he runs a hand over his face and I see the ugly gash on his forearm.
He catches me looking and gives me a wry smile. “One more to add to the collection.”
I don’t know how to respond to that, so I just shift closer to him and run my hand over the top of his short hair. “I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine. Dad was bad enough, but...”
I stroke the skin at the back of his neck. “What happened to him? To your mom?” He asks.
“Dad’s still in jail. The judge accepted a plea of temporary insanity. Dad was depressed after he lost his job. But when he found out Mom was having an affair, he started getting worse.”
I sigh. “After he was locked up, Mom was sort of in a survival state for years. After I moved in with a friend, and Nick got married, she moved to Europe. Nick and I hardly hear from her. It’s like it’s just too painful for her, so we never talk about it. What about your folks?”
Luther shakes his head. “I’m a foster kid. Bounced around from home to home. It wasn’t all bad, saw a lot of places, and it’s how I wound up joining the Corps. I finally found a family that would stick.”
“Nick said Chloe’s mom isn’t around?”
I exhale. “Nick married her when she got pregnant right out of high school. She thinks she’s Chloe’s pal. Which means she lets Chloe run wild.”
He nods slowly. “She said she wants to be a nanny. I think I might know someone who could do with one. Out in Hudson.”
I pull back and frown at him. “You do?”
His smile is tight when he nods. “It’s on a farm. Right smack bang in the country. I can take you out there if you like?”
It’s such a thoughtful offer and a whole lot more feasible than Paris, so I find myself nodding. “When are you going next?”
His smile twitches into apprehensive. “That’s up to you. I wanted to show you the land I brought out there.”
My eyes pop. “You did?”
He looks out the window at the cemetery and shakes his head. “You want to go see it? I have something to say, I don’t want to say in a parking lot.”
I give him a cautious smile and fasten my belt. “Sure. I mean, if you have time?”
He takes a last look at the cemetery and gives me a half-smile. “I have nothing but time right now. I got fired from my job.”
I wince. “Because of the arrest?”
He grimaces. “Not much call for a security guard with an arrest in a very public case.”
Considering he now has no income, he seems remarkably calm about it. “What will you do for work?’
His eyes stay on the road as the asphalt flies under us. “Whatever I can. But it’s not really an issue.”
I scrunch up my face. “How can it not be an issue?”
He shrugs. “It just isn’t.”
I frown at him and his casual attitude towards money, wondering if I should be alarmed when he’s clearly not.
I’m still finding excuses when we turn off the highway and start down a dirt road.
Dust billows around us as we suddenly start to see acres of green pastures surrounding us.
He catches me looking out his window as a farmhouse passes us by. “Hudson. My place is just past the bridge.”
I grip the handhold and watch him as his shoulders start to relax.
I could picture him here, working the land, getting his hands dirty, wrangling horses, or whatever it is that happens on a farm.
“Did you grow up in the country?”
He almost spits a laugh then shakes his head. “Closest thing I ever got was staying at Mike and Jess’ getting drunk and trying to ride a horse.”
I cock my head at him as he drives over a wooden bridge running over a stream. “So, you don’t know anything about farming?”
He shakes his head. “Nope.”
I pull a face at him as we pull up at broken-down barn standing in the middle of a massive empty field. “Then why did you want to buy farmland?”
He slides the seatbelt off and yanks open his door before I can ask another question.
When he opens my door, he’s already unbuttoning his shirt and tugging it off to reveal the singlet underneath. “I didn’t buy it to farm. I bought it to build a house on. Somewhere quiet.”
Still not sure why I’m here, he surprises me by taking my hand and leading me towards the barn. “This is where I’ve been spending most of my time.”
He opens the rusty door causing the hinges to squeak so loud I cringe. I step inside, expecting a mess, but am pleasantly surprised to find it’s reminiscent of a rustic loft apartment.
I try to take everything in, but my appraisal is caught short when I see the bed he’s been sleeping in.
I turn to ask him a question but lose the desire to speak as I see him hanging his blues up on a hanger.
I swallow, feeling too warm as he kicks off his shoes and approaches me with a serious look on his face. “I wanted to tell you something. I wanted to tell you that until I met you I wished I’d died in Afghanistan too.”
It’s possibly the most romantic, most incredible thing anyone has ever said to me. But he’s not done.
He takes my hands and looks deep into my eyes. “You have no idea what you’ve done for me. If I have to spend the rest of my life thinking up ways to prove it to you, I will.”
My heart has started to crash against my ribcage, fingers itching with the desire to touch his skin. To feel him inside me, to kiss with no fear of reprisal.
I want him so bad, my breathing is getting rapid and I no longer care about anything else apart from the feel of his weight on top of me.
“Oh, Luther. That is, so,” I can’t even speak. My eyes are watering as through trying to extinguish the fire burning through me.
He frowns. “Are you okay?”
I swallow hard and toss my purse to one side and with trembling fingers start to unbutton my blouse. “No. I am not okay. I have done nothing but think about you for the last two weeks. We have plenty of time to talk later.”
He sends me a doubting look. “You want there to be a later?”
I back up so I’m against the wall, chest rising and falling as I struggle to stay coherent. “What do you want?”
Luther stalks towards me and places one arm against the wall, so he can lean towards me. “I want there to be later. I want there to be forever.”
He kisses me and my entire body responds. Heat blazes across my skin as his kiss deepens until his tongue is probing mine.
With a grunt, he tugs me towards him and grips the back of my neck and looks me in the eye. “You sure you want a Jarhead in your life?”
I have no idea what he’s talking about so I just kiss him harder until he’s lifting me up and placing me on his bed.
We collapse in a tangle of limbs as he presses kisses to my neck and finishes unbuttoning my blouse.
His brow knots as he sees the faint bruise I received a few days ago. “What’s this?”
I kiss him and smile. “I’m taking Krav Maga lessons. It can get a little intense.”
He narrows his eyes. “I could teach you to defend yourself. Teach you how to handle a weapon.”
I drop my hand so my fingers are tugging at his pants. “I’m sure you could but this was something I needed to do for myself.”
He no
ds. “I get that.”
I kiss him again and slide my hand inside his pants so I can take his hard cock in my hand.
I stroke him until he’s growing as slippery as I am and he’s moaning in my ear.
He pulls back so he can shrug out of his dress pants. While he’s removing all the obstacles for me to touch his naked body, I wriggle out of my own clothes.
I’m trembling all over when he grabs my hips and slides me to the end of the bed.
He gets to his knees and uses his tongue until I’m gasping for air and screaming his name.
When I’m recovering from an insanely good orgasm, he inserts his finger inside me and keeps using his tongue until I’m arching my back and coming so hard I’m worried I might blackout.
He climbs on top of me and slides inside me making ripples of ecstasy travel through my entire body.
I slide my hands down his back, feeling every one of his scars, caressing them as he murmurs in my ear. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”
Sheer joy merges with the pleasure shooting through me. His thrusts become more frantic and I grip his ass cheeks, digging my nails in as I feel his muscles tense.
He leans back and puts my legs on his shoulders so he can pound me deeper until I’m a panting, quivering wreck.
His face contorts as he starts to make animalistic grunts of pleasure as he releases inside me.
He collapses on top of me, breathing hard before he rolls off me. “I thought you’d want to talk for longer,” he says.
I roll onto my side and kiss his shoulder. “I did. But in case you didn’t realize, I’m seriously hung up on your body.”
He frowns and laces his hands behind his head. “It’s pretty banged up.”
I growl at him and slap him until his stomach muscles tighten and he manages a smile. “It’s sensational, every inch of it,” I say.
His fingers curl over mine and he draws lazily circles on the back of my hand. “Why did you go to see my brother before coming here?” I murmur.
He turns so he’s looking at me. “I needed his blessing.”
My heart starts to thump about. “For what?”
He releases my hand and rolls on top of me so he’s looking in my eyes. “How long is your lease on your rental?”
