by Kimbra Swain
Closing my eyes, I felt the power of the stone circle in the forest just beyond my home. I needed to see my father.
When I opened my eyes, I stood just inside the ring of stones. As I approached the center stone, it glowed, coming to life. My father’s ghostly blue form floated above the stone.
“I am so sorry, Gloriana. I know that you loved Dylan,” he said.
“I love you, Daddy,” I whimpered.
He looked puzzled for a moment, then returned the sentiment. “I love you, too, Daughter. Come speak to me. You have something to say?”
“I do,” I said, walking up to the center stone.
“You may say whatever you wish to say. I want to hear whatever it is,” he smiled.
“Thank you for giving your life up for me. For giving me your power and knowledge,” I said. “Although I’m only getting a little bit of the knowledge as I need it, but thank you. Now, I understand now the sacrifice you made for me. Dying here in the Vale.”
“What brought this on?” he asked. “Not that I’m not thankful, but something stirred this inside of you.”
“Winnie. She’s the Phoenix now,” I said.
“Bloody hell, you say?” he swore. “How did that happen?”
“She died, so he claimed her as his heir. I gave her a piece of the fruit from the tree, and a vial of water from the fountain, then he gave her his powers. She rose while he faded into nothing,” I said as tears rolled down my cheeks.
“Gloriana, I’m so sorry about Serafino,” he said.
“No, wait. That’s not all. I’ve been blind thinking that you gave me your kingdom because you thought I’d do a better job than you. That allowing me to be banished made me into a different kind of fairy so that I could do things differently. I’m a fool to believe it was anything more than a parent sacrificing his life for his child like Dylan did for Winnie. I’ve been arrogant,” I said.
He stepped from the stone and his form coalesced into something more solid. Lifting his palm to my cheek, I felt my father’s touch. He was almost completely whole standing there with me.
“I wish I could say that I had that kind of foresight. You’re welcome to use that as the story. Makes me out to be wiser than I really am,” he smiled. “But yes, Gloriana, I gave my life up simply because I didn’t want my child to die. However, I do believe in you. I think that my brother needs to be very careful. Hopefully, his days are numbered.”
“They are,” I said. “I just haven’t counted them out yet.”
He laughed, then cut his eyes to the edge of the circle. I knew who was there. My shadow. “He hasn’t stepped into the role yet?” Father asked.
“I’m not ready for that, and neither is he. He’s the one that had to do it. I couldn’t kill him,” I replied. “It’s only been a few months.”
“Maybe so, but your heart started to pound harder when he arrived. The connection between the two of you is undeniable,” he observed.
“You have not been very gracious to him,” I countered.
“No one will ever be good enough for you in my eyes,” he smiled. I leaned on his hand. I could feel it. Just a slight tingle. “What is this about the knowledge? What did you say?”
“That I remember or know things when it comes time to need them. Like I suddenly knew the spell to turn Winnie into a fairy just as it was needed, but not before. I suppose your knowledge would be too overwhelming for me to take all at once,” I said.
“Gloriana, I haven’t bestowed my knowledge on you at all. Other than what you gained the moment I died,” he revealed.
“But I know things right when I need them,” I said.
“That is your own knowledge. I believe that because you spent so much time away from the Otherworld that you forgot all the things you can do. From the moment you stepped back into the Otherworld with Levi when you were investigating Demetrius Lysander, your knowledge has returned bit by bit. Gloriana, you don’t need anything else from me to rule,” he replied.
“Then why are you still here?” I asked.
A wind swirled inside the circle, and Levi appeared at my side. A cool breeze followed by a warm gust. It repeated several times until Lilith stood on the center stone. Pregnant and barefoot. However, she wore a dress much like the one I wore in Summer. She looked like what you expect of a goddess. My father bowed at the waist to her, and Levi copied his motion. I hadn’t bowed to her before, but I supposed I should since I knew who she was now. I lowered my head until she spoke.
“Sometimes life doesn’t give us enough time to say what needs to be said,” she said. Her voice filled the circle, bouncing off the outer stones, then echoing back to us. “Oberon needed to know his daughter loved him, and you needed to realize that you did. Humility isn’t your strong point, Gloriana.”
Levi snorted, and I swatted at him. “So, he was here simply so I could tell him I loved him?”
“And you needed to know that you can do this on your own. Even for all the times you’ve said it, you needed to know that your knowledge and your power is capable. You need no one or nothing else,” she said. “Whether you complete your task isn’t up to me, but I felt like your Father deserved this moment for all the years he honored me and the tree. Your trouble isn’t over, Gloriana, but you are ready.”
“Is Dylan with you?” I asked.
“His spirit lives within the tree,” she said.
“He’s okay?” I asked.
“It’s hard to explain, but in terms that you would understand, his soul is at peace,” she said. She lifted her eyes to Levi. “Levi Rearden, worry not for you did as you were asked to do. You have a role in all of this too. I look forward to seeing it develop.”
“Thank you, ma’am,” he said.
“Your mother’s spirit is a strong one. I see it living inside of you,” she said.
“I miss her,” he replied.
“Everyone misses their dead. Honor them, but remember that they live on inside of you,” she instructed. “Come now, King. It is time to go.”
“No!” I exclaimed. “Please don’t take him now.” Levi moved closer to me but didn’t reach out to touch me.
“Gloriana, we have been afforded more time than we deserved. I love you. Go out there and take it back from him. It’s yours, and he will not rest until you and your brother are dead,” he said.
“Finley!” I called out into the darkness.
My brother appeared on the edge of the ring of stones in the same spot that Levi had appeared. He ran in a sprint to where we stood.
“Father?” he said.
“My son. Stand by her,” Oberon demanded.
“Yes, Father. As always,” Finley responded. “Are you leaving?”
“It is time,” Oberon said.
“Go unto our ancestors. Take the hand of the goddess and find peace on the other side,” Finley replied as his eyes welled up with tears.
“Goodbye, my children,” he said with a smile. “You have already made me proud.”
He stepped back up on to the stone next to the pregnant Lilith. She smiled as they faded away. The night turned cold, and the dew on the grass froze around our feet. The light blue particles that remained of my father’s image approached me. Finley and Levi stepped back as my tattoo ignited with silvery threads coursing over my limbs. The blue dust settled into my skin, and the lines of power pulsed a ghostly blue.
My casual clothes disappeared, and a long black dress covered my body. My single horn crown appeared on my head. A far-off voice proclaimed, “This is my daughter, Gloriana. She is the Queen of Winter and the Vale.”
Finley and Levi bowed down to one knee. Finley lowered his head, but Levi stared into my eyes. I knew what he was thinking.
Your true self.
“Please get up,” I pleaded. Finley laughed as he stood. “You didn’t seem sad to see him go.”
“I’ve been out to speak with him multiple times. I knew he was only here for a short while. We were lucky to have him for this long,” he sai
d. “You look beautiful, Sister.”
“Thank you, but I don’t feel different,” I muttered.
“I don’t think you’re supposed to feel different,” he said. “Thank you for calling for me. I need to get back to what I was doing.”
“What or who?” I asked.
He grinned. “Who.”
He disappeared leaving me alone in the circle with Levi.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“It was unexpected, but I feel like I said my piece,” I said. “Finley is right. He was only here for a short time. I knew that.”
“Doesn’t make it any easier, Grace,” Levi replied.
“Do you want me to cry?” I asked.
“I want you to be honest with me,” he answered.
“I will store it away along with everything else, Levi,” I said.
“You’re not just beautiful like this. You look strong. I feel the strength and power inside of you. You once told me that I didn’t need to be afraid of my power, but I can say the same thing back to you. Don’t be afraid. Don’t hold back,” he said. His words were impassioned. I wanted to kick myself for all the times I pushed him. The roles were reversed now.
“I can’t take back Winter without the fourth stone,” I pondered.
“Then we call upon the Lady of the Lake and ask for permission to use it,” he suggested.
“I had to show force with the Sylph. Dylan didn’t give the fire to me until he saw me fight the Sylph. Lilith only gave me the earth stone after the test at the tree. I’m sure there will be some rite of passage,” I said.
“We should go home,” Levi insisted. “I’ll see what I can find out about Nimue tomorrow.”
“I want to do it tonight,” I continued.
“Grace, no. You need to go home. It’s been a long day,” he said.
“Don’t start demanding things from me. You have no right,” I snarled. My emotions were teetering on the edge. The tattoos on my body flared with my anger. Levi didn’t flinch. Little bastard.
“You can be as angry with me as you want, but you need to go home. Let this sink in before you make a mistake,” he said.
“You’re getting on my ever-loving nerves, Levi Rearden!” I shouted.
“Because I’m right,” he said smugly.
“Fuck off,” I exclaimed in frustration. Gathering my power, I jumped to the house. I felt him jump right behind me.
My conscious kicked in scolding me for treating him that way simply because I knew I could. Levi was the tail end of my anger too many times. My emotions flipped back and forth. Before I wouldn’t even have considered apologizing. Now I wasn’t just mad, I was mad at myself.
“Grace,” he said calling out to me. I ignored him as I stomped into the house, but then suddenly I remembered my sleeping children. I stopped before I made too much noise. Waving my hand, the black dress, crown, and skin adornments disappeared. I stood once again in my jeans and t-shirt.
Levi slipped in the front door behind me, closing it gently. He brushed past me taking two steps at a time.
“Levi,” I called out to him.
“Goodnight, Gloriana,” he said, then shut me out of his head.
Levi
I tossed and turned all night, as I had since the night Dylan died. It didn’t matter that I knew it was coming. I couldn’t have prepared myself for the pain that I experienced along with the feedback of grief and pain from Grace. Being connected to her as I was, I felt everything she felt plus my own. It wasn’t as if I was taking it from her either. Nope. We were just both living it. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I felt it.
So, tonight, when she pitched her fit, I cut her out of my head. I thought that if I turned it off for just one night I could sleep. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Knowing that she was at home attempting to rest, gave me some sort of peace, but with her cut off, I didn’t know whether she had left the house or not. I also couldn’t let her lash out at me. I refused to be her whipping boy.
The complication in all of it was that I loved her, and whether she admitted it or not, she loved me too. Fuck Dylan’s dream. I had always felt like she was meant to be mine. I endured living in the house with them until I couldn’t anymore, but the moment I stepped back into Shady Grove from my captivity in the Otherworld, I knew that eventually, she would be mine.
In those moments as I raced across town trying to find her, all I cared about was her. Since then, I’d found my desires were divided. Winnie and Aydan were like my own children. My urge to protect them didn’t come from Dylan’s request that I should, it came from my own heart. I’d loved Winnie for a long time, and Aydan was growing on me.
My attentions were also needed in the town. With the ward up, I felt every fairy that entered and exited the town. We hadn’t had any incursions by humans since the ward went up, but I would feel that too. I wanted to see the people inside the Vale live a good life. A long one without the looming threat of eternal death. I’d searched the book looking for ways to break the curse, but I hadn’t found anything yet. No matter how much I memorized it, what I was looking for wasn’t there.
The songbook wasn’t the authority on magic though. It was just the authority on bard magic. I was part fairy, so I had inherent abilities beyond the gift Oberon had given me. Those abilities had never been developed, but I felt them. I felt the cold of winter when Grace was the platinum blonde covered in shining tattoos. That power made me more powerful. I supposed a lot of that had to do with the blood bond between us. It wasn’t what I had intended, but she honored me by sharing the bond.
I had offered myself as her servant, but I was glad that I wasn’t. More than anything, I wanted her to see me as her equal. Not because I wanted to be with her, but because I knew we could defeat anything that came our way as long as we were together.
Shutting her out tonight hurt me. So, I know that it hurt her too. I knew that she lashed out at me because of the grief and pain she held inside, but she needed to know that I wouldn’t just roll over and take it. She would apologize. I hoped she would apologize. I didn’t know for sure if she would or not.
Dragging myself out of bed before dawn, I took a shower. Staring down at the scars covering my torso, I winced at the memory of their pain. I could glamour them, but I wanted that constant reminder that if I let my guard down, I could be hurt. Unfortunately, that went for Grace, too. She could ruin me in an instant. Hell, she had already ruined my heart.
I dried off and dressed for the day. No parading around in a towel today. I’d have to take my medicine after shutting her out. I loved the way she looked at me when I did it, but I knew that the fairy inside of her desired me as a sexual object. I wanted more, and until she was ready to give it, no more towel parades.
I slipped down the steps silently so I wouldn’t wake the children. I found a bowl and a box of sugary cereal in the kitchen. Pouring some milk over the cereal, I watched out the back window of the house as the sun started to rise. A light fog hung over the ground. When I turned around from the kitchen counter, I realized she was sitting in the recliner across the room. Her bright turquoise eyes watched me closely.
“Good morning,” I muttered. I had been strong all night and hadn’t let her back in. But seeing her there, staring at me, I wanted to open my mind to her. I craved that cold stirring when we connected.
“Why?” she asked. When I met Grace, she avoided the tough questions. She always knew what was going on around her by observing, but now, after all that had happened, she didn’t hold back.
Taking slow bites of the cereal, I formulated my response. I didn’t want it to seem petty although in a way, it was, I had to have some dignity. She wouldn’t respect me if I constantly gave into her.
“I know that you’re in pain, and the thing you said to me you didn’t mean. But, I won’t allow you to take it out on me,” I said. When I moved over to the couch, I realized she was still wearing the same clothes from the night before. “Did you sit here all night?”
/>
“Yes,” she said. Damn. She knew how to break my resolve. I didn’t know if she was doing it on purpose, or if she didn’t realize how much one small word would affect me.
“You need rest. For your children. For the town,” I said.
“So do you,” she said.
“I’m fine,” I replied.
“Are you?” she asked. She knew I wasn’t. “Don’t lie to me, Levi.”
“I’ve never lied to you,” I shot back too quickly.
“Don’t start now,” she said.
I sat the cereal bowl down on the coffee table and ran my hands through my wet hair. “I feel your pain. I feel your grief. Not just mine, but yours too. It can be overwhelming.”
“Do you think the connection is one way?” she asked.
Of course, it wasn’t. She felt my pain too. “No,” I answered.
“I would rather feel your pain along with mine, than not feel you at all,” she said.
That was as close to an apology as I ever expected to get from her. “You shouldn’t have to,” I said.
“Are you protecting me from you or you from me? Because it’s hard to tell,” she said.
“I just didn’t like the way you dismissed me, Grace. I can handle the pain and grief of losing Dylan. I can handle your pain and grief too. What I can’t handle is you disrespecting me. I know I am a convenient target for your wrath. You know that no matter what you say to me, I’m not leaving. Not ever. But you can’t use that as an excuse to say whatever the hell you want,” I said. I probably said too much.
For the first time since I noticed her sitting there, she turned her eyes from me. In the dim light of dawn, I saw a tear roll down her cheek. She didn’t wipe it away. She ignored it. I wanted to wipe it away for her.
“Maybe we both need to learn to function without using each other as a crutch,” she said.
“Do you think I make you weak?” I asked.
“You’re a distraction, Levi. My focus needs to be on the town and my children. I can’t continuously worry about your feelings for me,” she said.
