After walking into the nursery and picking up Brennan, he held the giraffe down to Maya and was surprised to see she quieted immediately after grabbing hold of the toy. Maybe Kylie was better at this than he’d imagined.
“Need any help?” she asked from the doorway, all rumpled and sleepy and making those naughty thoughts about them together clog his head again.
“No. I got this,” he said, not daring to glance at her again for fear he’d do something stupid like walk over there and kiss her silly. God. He needed to snap out of this. He had things to do today and babies to watch. He didn’t have time to lust over a woman who’d flat out told him she was here to check up on him and possibly fight him for custody of the twins. He needed to get her packed and out of here as soon as possible. Gage inhaled deep before saying. “Go ahead and get ready. We’re fine.”
* * *
His words had stung— “We’re fine”, clearly excluding her—but Kylie did feel minimally better after a shower and a change of clothes. She’d left Japan in such a rush that she’d stayed in her work clothes, which were more fancy than what she usually wore to bum around the house. Dressed in comfy jeans and a “Keep Calm and Feng Shui On” sweatshirt, she headed back out into the living room to clean up her bedding from the night before. Honestly, she’d love to rearrange his furniture in there to better harmonize the energy in Gage’s home. Most likely everyone would be happier and more peaceful with the sofa against the wall and a good scrub down of the windows, but she wasn’t going to push her luck. Not yet anyway.
Gage was in the kitchen getting bottles ready for the twins. While she’d been getting ready, he’d managed to get both babies bathed and changed. Colour her impressed. Maybe he wasn’t so bad with kids after all. Didn’t change the fact she planned to be more involved in the twins’ lives going forward.
As she folded and stacked her sheets, Kylie couldn’t help noticing that Gage was humming as he worked on the bottles. The tune was sweet and sad and tugged her heart, regardless of whether she wanted it too or not. Determined to make the most of an awful situation, she finished cleaning up the sofa then joined him at the table. “What’s that song you’re humming?”
“Huh?” He gave her a slightly confused stare, as if he hadn’t realized what he’d been doing. “Oh. Sorry. I do that sometimes, I guess. That’s what the guys in my squad used to tell me anyway. Humming when I concentrate. Helpful for dealing with babies, not so much when you’re on a black ops mission with people trying to kill you.”
“Yikes, I’d say not.” While he picked up Maya and stuck a bottle in her mouth, Kylie did the same with Brennan, settling into the chair across from Gage’s. “That must’ve been pretty terrifying.”
He shrugged, drawing her attention once more to his broad shoulders beneath the soft cotton of his black T-shirt. “We’re trained for it. You learn to channel that adrenaline and fight or flight energy into more productive activities, like tracking and reconnaissance. It’s all about redirection.”
“I get that. My work is about redirection too,” she said, surprising herself. Normally, she didn’t discuss her occupation with people she didn’t know. Years of judgmental idiots had taught her that, despite the growing respect for feng shui and her wealthy client list, most people would refuse to take her work seriously. When he didn’t say anything, she looked up to find him staring down at Maya with such awe that it took her breath away. Her chest squeezed and she focused on Brennan once more. Truthfully, she understood that too. There was something about having a baby in your arms that made the rest of the world and all its problems fall away. “They are so precious.”
“Yeah, they are,” Gage said, his deep voice quiet. “Listen, Kylie. I owe you an apology for last night. I shouldn’t have stalked off the way I did.”
A bit shocked, she met his gaze. “Wow. Thanks for that. And thanks for letting me crash here.”
“Hmm.” He watched her a moment before looking away. “I’m sorry about what I said about you and your sister and the funeral. I had no right.”
Those words caused a tiny pinch inside her. Dammit. She’d been determined last night to not like him and now he had to go and be all nice this morning. She exhaled slow and adjusted the infant in her arms. “I’m sorry about questioning your parenting abilities. Obviously you’ve got some skills if you got both of them ready by yourself today.”
Gage snorted. “You learn fast with two screaming babies in your care. You should’ve seen me the first night. I think all three of us were ready for the looney bin. Spit up and let’s not even talk about the diaper situation. So much poop. Talk about a black ops mission.”
Kylie chuckled, setting Brennan’s now-empty bottle on the table then placing a towel and the baby over her shoulder to burp him while Gage did the same with Maya. Minutes later, both babies here burped, yet Kylie didn’t want to move from where she was. Not yet.
She glanced over to find Gage rocking slowly from side to side, cooing to the tiny girl. “You know, the last time I saw Chris and the twins was right after they were born,” she whispered, not wanting to wake the babies. “We talked about coming up with signals we could use to communicate with each other when the babies were asleep.”
“Like sign language?” Gage asked. “That sounds like a good idea.”
“Yeah.” She smiled. “Nothing fancy though. Just like okay and hello and help.” She showed him the signals they’d come up with. “Chris was so creative that way.”
Her words cracked as her throat constricted with unexpected tears. That was the thing about grief it hit you out of nowhere at the worst times. She squeezed her eyes shut and held little Brennan tighter, cuddling him beneath her chin, wishing she could see her sister one last time.
“Hey,” Gage said, his soft words soothing Kylie more than she ever imagined. “I miss them too. Every day I wish I could just talk to Tucker one more time, hang out in their kitchen and eat some of Christine’s fabulous snickerdoodles.”
“Man, those were the best, weren’t they?” She took a deep breath, feeling some of the overwhelming sadness lift slightly at the happy memories. “I can’t cook worth a damn. Well, except for breakfast.”
“Good to know.” Gage smiled over at her and once again she was struck by just how gorgeous he was, all tanned and toned and brimming with masculine grace. Before she could get too carried away with that though, he brought her back to the topic at hand. “I hope you’re not too hard on yourself about missing your sister’s funeral either. It was an accident. No one was prepared. I’m sure Christine would want you to remember all the good times, the wonderful memories instead of beating yourself up because of one day.”
His words helped lighten her gloomy mood a bit, yet an empty void remained. Her sadness had been what had kept her going in the weeks since Christine’s death, what had driven her to quit the amazing job in Tokyo and rush home as fast as she could to be with the twins. It was when she didn’t have something to do, it dragged on her, overwhelming her.
Brennan stirred on her chest, and she pushed to her feet, cocking her head toward the nursery before taking off down the hall, her eyes stinging and her heart pounding. The last few days had been a whirlwind and she needed some time and space to clear her head and get her priorities in order. Yes, she was the twins’ aunt and she wanted what was best for them, but she still wasn’t sure if that was her or not. Lord knew she’d never raised kids herself since she couldn’t have any of her own. She laid Brennan down in his crib and waited to make sure he wouldn’t wake up again before slowly backing out of the room, narrowly avoiding a collision with Gage on the way.
He put Maya into her crib then joined Kylie in the hallway. “You hungry?”
Now that he mentioned it, her stomach growled. “I could eat.”
“Good.” Gage gestured for her to follow him back to the kitchen. “Let’s put those breakfast skills of yours to the test.”
One day at a time. That’s how she’d take things now, until she fi
gured out what the hell she was going to do here. One day at a time. She could do that, couldn’t she?
Yep. She could and she would. She smoothed a hand down her sweatshirt and pulled the towel off her shoulder, trailing after him down the hall. “Fine. I’ll cook if you let me rearrange your living room.”
“What?” He leaned out of the kitchen to frown at her. “What’s wrong with my living room?”
“Nothing. Except the energy flow is all off.” Kylie forced a small smile and joined him near the fridge, pulling out eggs and bacon and mushrooms and peppers. “Your sofa should be against the wall and the chair in the corner and don’t even get me started on your windows.”
As she worked and talked, things fell into a rhythm. Not quite comfortable yet but she could see them heading that way. Kylie would figure this all out and when she did, she’d decide where to go from here.
4
Two days later, Gage was freaking out.
He’d figured it would not be a big deal having Kylie around. After all, she’d be gone soon, right? But the more time she spent at his place, the more things changed. Gage wasn’t a big proponent of change. He liked things to be the same. All the time.
It had started with moving his sofa then had quickly escalated to the kitchen and the bedrooms. Even the bathroom hadn’t escaped her little touches. Moving the towels and placing candles everywhere. The kitchen though. That was the last straw. He’d run out to get groceries and come back to find her teetering atop one of the chairs, moving some of the houseplants from his living room to the top of his cabinets.
Gage hovered between putting the stuff away and yanking her off that chair before she killed herself. He wasn’t about to touch her though. Bad enough he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about her twenty-four-seven. Putting his hands on her would only make things worse.
So, instead, he sidled around her chair, shoving a milk jug into the fridge then opening the pantry door to stack the cans of soup he’d bought neatly on the shelf, all the labels facing outward and perfectly aligned.
“There,” Kylie said, climbing down at last to stare up at her handy work. “What do you think?”
“I think it was fine the way it was,” he grumbled, not bothering to look at what she’d done.
“It wasn’t fine. Did you know having empty space between the top of your cabinets and the ceiling is a bad thing? Chi gets stuck there, clogging up your energy flow and creating bad vibes. Having living, breathing plants up there helps keep things moving.”
“Yeah? And who’s going to water them?” He shook his head and shut the pantry door, looking at her at last. Big mistake. Her cheeks were flushed and her blue eyes sparkled with joy and he suddenly felt a nearly overwhelming urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her silly. Instead, he shoved his hands into the back pockets of his jeans and stepped back away from temptation. “Guess it’ll have to be me, when you’re gone.”
The twins squeaked in their carrier seats on the table.
“Aw, what’s the matter?” she asked, tilting her head and thrusting out that full pink bottom lip of hers in a fake pout. “Are you scared of heights?”
“No. I just don’t appreciate having my place rearranged without my permission.” He moved around her and back over to the bags of groceries. “How were the twins while I was gone?”
“Fine.” She sat at the table and toyed with Brennan’s tiny sock covered toes. “I realize that you don’t believe in Feng Shui, but even you have to admit the twins have been much more relaxed since I got here.”
“Hmm.” He put away the peanut butter and cheese crackers and boxes of cereal then stuffed the reusable grocery bags away under the sink. “Maybe. Or maybe they’re just getting used to being with me now. It was an adjustment for all of us.”
“Could be.” Kylie shrugged. “The energy here is much more positive now than the first night I arrived though and that has to be down to the changes I’ve made. As for adjusting, you’re still working out your routine, changing things all the time. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s unsettling to your environment and theirs. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you before moving stuff, but I just wanted to help. Before you get all cranky again, I also cleaned the windows while you were gone. They let more light in now, which is good for everyone.”
Gage wanted to argue—but dammit, things really did look better the way she had them. Not that it was okay she’d done it without his permission, but he was honestly too weary to care. Having her here had meant he’d gotten more sleep, and had time to run errands without having to worry about carting two infants around with him, but still. It seemed the more things got back to normal, the more he was aware of his grief and that wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon.
He glanced over at Maya and saw her little face was all red and scrunched up, a sure sign she was doing her business. Again. Duty called and with a sigh, Gage walked over and unstrapped her from her carrier to pick her up and carry her down the hall to the changing table in the nursery. He’d just gotten her onesie off and was grabbing a clean diaper from the box to have on standby when Kylie walked in with Brennan and began doing the same thing with him.
As he stripped off Maya’s dirty diaper and disposed of it in the genie thing, he caught Kylie watching him, her expression unreadable. Irritated, he ripped a wet wipe out of the container with more force than was necessary.
“What?” he asked, not bothering to keep the annoyance from his tone.
“Nothing,” she said, giving him some serious side eye.
After getting Maya’s bottom clean, he grabbed the tube of diaper rash ointment and squirted some out on his fingers. Kylie was staring at him again and this time, he’d had enough.
“Why are you watching me?” he snapped.
“That’s a lot of cream, isn’t it?”
Gage scowled down at the huge dollop of stuff on his fingers. She was right, dammit. It was enough for five tiny bottoms Maya’s size, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. Instead he smeared it on the baby then wiped his hand on a towel before strapping on the clean diaper and tugging Maya’s onesie back on. Baby clean and over his shoulder, he started back out of the nursery before stopping in the door and turning back to her. “Back off with your opinions, okay? You’re here as a guest. You’re not the twins’ mother or guardian or anything else. You never will be. Think about that next time you decide to comment on what I do. Got it?”
He didn’t miss the way her face paled at his words and he regretted them immediately, but damn. She had gotten under his skin and he didn’t know how to get her out. Worse, he wasn’t sure he wanted to, and that scared him most of all.
* * *
Kylie finished changing Brennan with shaky hands, fighting back the sting of tears. Gage’s words had struck far too close to home, but it had been a lucky shot, that was all. He didn’t know about her endometriosis or her inability to have kids of her own. He’d been lashing out from frustration. Most likely he didn’t even mean what he said, but that didn’t stop his words from hurting her.
After she’d finished cleaning up and getting the baby redressed, she carried him back out into the living room where she found Gage sitting on the sofa, flipping through channels on the TV with one hand, while bouncing Maya on his shoulder with the other.
She walked over to the chair in the corner and sat, pulling a soft, stuffed truck with a silly face on the front to play with Brennan with. Kylie could feel Gage’s gaze on her, but didn’t look up, not wanting to get into it with him again now. He wasn’t the only one who was frustrated. In truth, she hadn’t slept well the night before, dreaming of her sister and the last time they’d seen each other. In the dream, she’d kept trying to reach Christine, but each time she got close, her sister moved farther away. It turned into one of those nightmares where you just kept running and running but never reaching your goal. To say it mirrored her own life was an understatement.
Finally, Gage clicked off the TV and tossed the remo
te aside, sighing. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you just now.”
Her usual “it’s fine” teetered on the tip of her tongue before she swallowed it down, nodding in acknowledgment instead. Him biting her head off every time she made a suggestions wasn’t okay, but she didn’t want to fight with him again. Maybe putting a bit of space between them would help calm them all down. It was a beautiful warm, sunny day outside and she suddenly couldn’t stand not to be out in it. Kylie pushed to her feet and carried Brennan to the kitchen to set him in his carrier. “I think I’ll take the kids for a walk. I worked a job in this neighborhood a few years ago and remember a nice park about half a block from here I like visiting. Even posted about it on my social media. Where’s the stroller?”
Gage watched her for a second before pointing to the closet by the front door.
“Thanks.” She walked over and got the stroller out, setting it up before taking Maya from him. “Are you okay with me taking them outside?”
He hesitated a moment, then shook his head. “Yeah, it’s fine. They like going for walks. I’ve got some stuff here I need to get done anyway, but thanks for asking.”
Kylie nodded then got the two babies strapped into the double stroller before heading out the front door. “We’ll be back shortly.”
“You got your phone, just in case?” Gage called once they were out on the porch.
“Yep.” She patted her pocket where her phone was stored, then slung the diaper bag over the handle of the stroller and shut the door behind her before easing down the steps to the sidewalk. A warm breeze blew and as she walked slowly toward the park, her cares and burdens seemed to lift. Nature always did that for her. Perhaps that’s why she loved using plants so much in her decorating.
Birds tweeted and the sky was blue, and all seemed right with the world for a change. She couldn’t help gazing upward, wondering if Christine was looking down on her. A bittersweet pang tugged at her heart though, as she wondered if her sister would be happy to see her with the babies…or not. Gage hadn’t been entirely wrong in what he’d said. She wasn’t currently the twins’ parent or guardian. There was a chance she never would be. Unless she played her cards right with the whole custody issue, Gage could make it very difficult for her to have a relationship with the babies at all. The last thing she wanted was to mess that all up.
Guarding His Unexpected Twins: SEAL Endgame Book Three Page 3
