“Thanks,” she murmured, her voice breathy and dream-like.
“You’re welcome,” Gage said, inching closer to her as if drawn by a tractor beam.
Closer, closer, so close her warm breath fanned his face and her sweet scent surrounded him and suddenly kissing her seemed like the most necessary thing in the world. Never mind the warning bells going off inside the rational part of his mind. Those were quickly drowned out by lust and longing.
One kiss. Just one. Then she’d be out of his system and he’d be back to normal.
Just one…
His lips brushed hers once, twice. She didn’t push him away or stop him. In fact, she leaned into him. Gage was just about to kiss her again, deeper this time, when a wail sounded from down the hall.
Kylie jerked as if electrocuted and stepped back, her eyes wide. “I, uh, I should go check on them.”
In a blink she was gone and Gage was left to stare after her, wondering when in the hell he’d lost his damned mind and how in the hell he’d make it through the next couple of days with Kylie so near and yet definitely out of his reach.
6
Kylie got the twins changed while Gage stayed in the kitchen to cook, which was a relief. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact she’d kissed the guy. Must have been the residual stress of what happened early at the park. Had to be.
As she finished securing a clean diaper on Brennan, she continued to turn over in her mind the moment when Gage’s lips had brushed hers—the way he’d tasted of mint with a touch of garlic from the sauce he’d been tasting; the way his breath had hitched ever so slightly, just the same as hers; the way his fingers had caressed her jaw, soft as butterflies.
With a sigh, she tugged a new onesie up over the squirming little boy’s legs then fed his arms through the sleeves before snapping the front of the tiny blue garment and snuggling him into the crook of one of her arms.
“Whelp, no matter how nice it was, it’s not going to happen again, is it?” she said, staring down into Brennan’s astonished blue eyes. From the look on her nephew’s face, she’d just spouted the most brilliant thing in the world. He laughed and grinned up at her, all toothless wonder and drool. She couldn’t help grinning herself, bending down to kiss his head before scooping up his sister in her other arms and carrying both kids back to the kitchen for a feeding.
Grateful for something to keep her busy and alleviate the awkwardness now settling between her and Gage, Kylie made up two bottles, then settled in at the table to feed the twins while Gage finished up the grown ups’ dinner. Maybe the twins would eat super slow so she could avoid more alone time with Mr. Sex-On-Legs entirely. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Brennan and Maya both suckled down their formula like it was going out of style. By the time she had them burped and in their play pen, Gage had their food on the table and was waiting for her.
She took the seat across from him, any appetite she’d had earlier gone in the face of her stupidity. Yes, the guy was hot. Yes, she felt a stronger attraction to him than any man in a long time. No, she should not act on that attraction in any way shape or form—regardless of whether he kissed liked a dream or watched her now with those fathomless, sinful dark eyes of his.
Desperately searching for something intelligent to say, Kylie scratched her head and stared at the bowl of pasta on the table. “Looks good.”
Yeah. Not exactly Einstein-level conversation.
“Thanks,” Gage said, taking a long swallow of water before exhaling slow. “Listen, Kylie. About that kiss…”
“Forget about it,” she said, pouring far more dressing on her salad than was necessary. “It was a mistake, that’s all.”
“Yeah, sure,” he said, after a brief pause. She hazarded a glance up at him and saw that he was scowling down at the basket of garlic bread. “Of course, it was a mistake. Shouldn’t have happened. Won’t happen again.”
“Nope.” She shoved a huge bite of lettuce and cheese in her mouth. Never mind her lips were still tingling and parts of her anatomy long-neglected were pulsing with need. Gage Winters was untouchable. Period. Amen. She waggled her fingers at basket. “Can I have one of those pieces, please?”
He handed her the bread. “Did the police mention when they might get back to you about the guy in the park?”
Relieved by the change in subject, Kylie quickly answered. “No. Well, he said they’d check into it and call me next week, but I’m not holding out hope. I mean it could’ve been anyone.”
“That paper though seems like a clue somehow to me.” Gage filled his plate with pasta and salad then dug in too, speaking around a mouthful of food. “California’s pretty diverse, but I can’t imagine many people still buy actual newspapers, and Japanese ones at that.”
“Hmm. Maybe.” Now that she’d started eating, and they’d begun talking about something other than the kiss that could not be named, her appetite was returning full force. The fact the food was excellent helped as well. “Where’d you learn to cook like this? Dinner’s amazing.”
“Thanks.” He flashed her a sexy lopsided grin that highlighted his dimples and had her toes curling in her sandals again, darn him. “I learned by the time I was in high school. I moved in with my uncle after my parents died, and he couldn’t make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without messing it up. I started making stuff for myself as soon as I could, and once I got old enough to use the stove, I figured out some recipes. Survival instinct, I suppose. If I wanted to live, I needed to cook. Over the years, my skills have come in handy. When we were on SEAL missions, I made meals for the guys on my team. Now, with the twins here, I’m sure I’ll be cooking a lot more again.”
“What’s your specialty?” Kylie asked, hoping to keep the conversation going. “Italian, obviously. Anything else?”
“I do a lot of Mexican and Asian food too. I make a mean nasi lemak.”
“Yum!” Kylie sipped her water then smiled at him, her tense shoulders relaxing for the first time since she’d fled the kitchen for the relative safety of the nursery earlier. Gage was easy to talk to, when he wasn’t oozing temptation all over her. “When I was working in Tokyo, there was a Malaysian restaurant down the road from the apartment where I was living. I used to go there for satay and roti canai.”
“Girl, if you like satay, I’ll have to make you my special chicken satay with peanut sauce next time. My buddy Dan in the SEALs called it an orgasm on a stick.”
Kylie snorted. “Seriously? I’m definitely up for that then. Bring on the orgasms, baby!”
And just like that they were back to awkward again.
Dammit. If she could’ve kicked her own ass, she would’ve.
Gage stared down at this plate, clearly biting back a smile. “Look. We kissed. I’m pretty sure we both liked it. Doesn’t mean we need to repeat it again or walk around on eggshells because of it from here on out, right? Let’s leave it in the past, like you said and move forward, like adults.”
She nodded. “I’d like that.”
“Me too.” He looked up and caught her eyes. “It’s nice to have someone besides the twins around to talk to.”
“I bet.” Her words emerged a tad softer than she’d intended because it was just so easy to get lost in his dark gaze and his smooth, golden skin, and… She cleared her throat. Down girl. Move forward, like you agreed. “It’s nice talking with you too.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and took a bite of pasta. The tang of the tomatoes and brightness of the garlic danced on her tongue, perfectly complimented by spicy andouille sausage and the hint of parmesan. “I’m sorry about your parents.”
“It was a long time ago. I don’t remember my dad, except from photos and the stories my mom used to tell me. He died when I was a baby. He was in the Navy too.”
“Really? Is that why you joined the SEALs?” she asked around a bite of crusty, warm bread.
“Yeah. It felt like a way to stay connected with him.”
“And what about your mom?”
“She passed away from breast cancer when I was four.”
“Oh, my. I’m so sorry. That must’ve been horrible for you,” Kylie said, feeling a nearly overwhelming urge to hug him. She forced herself to stay seated instead. “Is that when you went to live with your uncle?”
“Yes.” He wiped his mouth and sat back, pushing away his empty plate. “I owe him more than I can ever repay for taking me in. He was all the family I had left.”
“He sounds like a great man.”
“He was. He passed away too, during my first year of college.”
The sombreness of his tone drove home the fact that Kylie was now all alone in the world too. Well, except for the twins. Which made staying close to them seem even more imperative.
“After Uncle Derek died, I took time off of school to reflect on what I really wanted in life. That’s when I decided to enlist. To honor my father’s memory and to try and regain some direction in my life.”
“Did it work?” she asked, more interested in his answer than she cared to admit.
“It did. For ten years. But then I felt I needed to leave my team so I took a job behind a desk to support myself. Everything felt wrong again after that. I had just retired from the military and started some security work when the accident happened, and I went on paternity leave. Now, here I am.” He shrugged. “With two kids and no idea what the hell I’m doing.”
The words struck so close to home that for a minute, all Kylie could do was blink at him. Then she stood and began to clear their plates away. All this time, she’d managed to focus on the idea that she was the twins’ blood family, that she knew best, that they belonged with her, that to have those notions shaken now was disconcerting. After what had happened earlier today, and her reckless behavior chasing after the guy with the twins in tow, she wasn’t so sure she was the best guardian for the babies anymore. Maybe they were better off with Gage. He had a home, a steady pension from the Navy, a stability to his life that she currently lacked. Too bad they couldn’t stay like this, living together, raising the twins together…
Kylie shoved that idea aside as soon as it arose. That was insane. Wasn’t it?
Yes, of course it was. Gage had his life, she had hers. The two wouldn’t meet because they couldn’t meet. She continued clearing the table while Gage pushed to his feet to help.
* * *
Gage felt like a complete ass. Why the hell did he have to bring up his past and all that death? Nothing put a quick kibosh on a nice dinner faster than bring up all your deceased relatives.
Idiot.
He carried the dishes over to the counter while she continued to avoid looking at him and buzzed around putting away the leftovers. He hadn’t been lying when he said it was nice having her around. In three short weeks, he’d come to love the twins more than life itself, but still. Baby gibberish and squeals were no substitute for adult companionship.
Talking to Kylie about his parents and his uncle, had got him thinking about his past though. Got him thinking about the future too, what he really wanted. Honestly, he’d spent so much time focused on his independence, and avoided becoming tied down to anyone. But he’d had more than enough proof now that life was short, and that it could end at any moment. What did he want his legacy to be? He was a father now—what choice for his future would be best for his kids? For the first time, he was seriously considering a wife, a partner to help raise the twins and maybe to have more children with.
Not that Kylie was that person. She had a big-time international career going, even if he had only a vague idea what it was she actually did—interior decorating, with a twist. Lots of creativity and artsy-fartsy stuff. Way different than his well-planned, well-organized life. Truthfully, they were polar opposites. He liked his order, liked research and planning and preparedness. She liked spontaneity and energy vibes and flying by the seat of her pants. They had no business even contemplating some kind of joint custody thing with the twins. For all he knew, she’d be on the next plane to somewhere exotic just as soon as her next client booked a furniture rearrangement. So, why then could he not seem to shake the notion of them co-parenting?
Because he was losing his mind, that’s why. There was no other explanation.
He barely knew Kylie. The only other time he’d met her before this was at Tucker’s wedding, for Christ’s sake. And sure, she was pretty and funny and damned brave considering a lot of people would’ve been terrified if they’d gotten mugged in the park. Not Kylie though. She’d gone after the guy. Reckless? Yes. Brave? Undeniably so.
Still, the rational part of his brain refused to abandon ship and let him run headlong into disaster. That just wasn’t the way he operated. He led with his intellect, not his emotions—the consequences were disastrous when he let his feelings distract him. What he needed to do was step back, reassess things between them with a clear and logical eye. Forget the kiss, like he’d said, and stick with his original plan, for now anyway.
Kylie finished boxing up the pasta and putting it into the fridge while he shoved the leftover garlic bread into a plastic baggie. Feeling like he needed to say something to break the silence, Gage went with the first thing that popped into his head. “You’re doing really well with the twins. I figure taking care of them now is good practice for when I have my own someday.” h
She stiffened beside him at the counter and Gage got the distinct impression he’d stepped in it somewhere again, but wasn’t sure exactly where. Before he could ask, she’d wiped off her hands on a dish towel and started out of the kitchen.
“I need to take shower,” Kylie said as she headed down the hall. “Thanks again for dinner.”
Once again, Gage was left behind, watching her walk away. He finished putting away the remains of their dinner and cleaning up the kitchen, humming to himself as he went and reminding himself that this was exactly why relationships never worked out for him. His last girlfriend, the one he’d been dating before his last, disastrous tour in Afghanistan, had complained he’d been too distant, too cold. At the time, he’d been exhausted from fighting with her about it all the time, so he’d just dropped it. Later, after he’d returned home and still knee-deep in grief over his lost team mates, he hadn’t had the emotional spoons left over to try and mend their relationship, so they’d both agreed to end it. But now, with Tucker and Christine gone and the twins under his care, emotional connections were more important than ever, and way more difficult. He doubted himself and doubted his ability to ever forge real bonds with anyone. What if his girlfriend had been right? What if he was incapable of connecting with anyone deeply? What if he failed the twins? What if…
The sound of running water from the shower echoed down the hall as he settled on the sofa to watch some TV before the twins woke up again and hopefully get his head back on straight. Doubting himself now, no matter how justified, wouldn’t help matters. Besides, Kylie wasn’t his girlfriend. They were temporary housemates, nothing more. The sooner he remembered that and kept his life and his heart to himself, the better.
7
The next morning, Kylie was up early determined to put the stress of the previous day behind her and get on with things. Never mind the way that his question about her having kids of her own someday was still stuck in her head. Never mind the way that her last boyfriend broke up with her because she couldn’t give him babies. Never mind that Gage Winters was not now, nor would he ever be, her boyfriend. One kiss did not a relationship make.
Even if said kiss still made her insides shiver with want.
She dialed in the number to the social security office on her cell phone then walked over to the windows in the living room to stare out at the sunny day beyond. She’d managed to get through to her credit card companies the night before and cancelled her existing cards and have new ones issued, but had only gotten a recording from the government when she’d called. Typical.
Luckily, there’d been no activity on her cards yet, so that was good, she supposed. If
a bit odd. When she’d been in college, she’d lost her purse at a party once, and within twenty-four hours whoever had taken it had racked up over a thousand dollars in charges to her account. The call picked up and she entered robo-hell. Hit one for English. Hit three to report a lost card. Enter number. Wait. Wait. Hold for the next available human.
With a sigh, Kylie glanced back at Gage, who was still feeding the twins in the kitchen. He’d been quieter this morning after she’d walked away without responding to what he’d said the night before. More distant too, but that was for the best. The more they kept to themselves, the easy things would be all around. She already liked the guy far more than she should, given that she was here to possibly take the twins away from him. And yes, so far, he’d been a perfect doting dad—changing them, feeding them, playing with them, even singing them to sleep at night. He probably didn’t know she’d overheard that last one, but since she was sleeping on the sofa and the nursery was just right down the hall and everything, it was hard not to catch his off-key rendition of “Oohh Child.”
A burst of warmth spread from her chest outward to her extremities at the memory. So sweet.
“Thank you for calling the Social Security Administration. My name is Ben. Please repeat the last four digits of your social security number for safety reasons.”
The guy’s voice jarred her from her reverie and Kylie did as he asked before relaying the story of her stolen wallet for the umpteenth time and finally getting confirmation from him that her card would be reissued.
Once that was done, Kylie ended the call then returned to take a seat at the table across from Gage. She ought to spend some time today, searching through her referrals for a new client in the area. She had plenty saved up in the bank to last her a good couple of months without new work, but she liked to stay busy. She also needed to find a new place to stay in town while she dealt with the issues of the twins’ custody. Something temporary to hold her over until the end of the rental period for the subletter currently in her apartment. Not that Gage’s place wasn’t nice, but after their brief kiss and with her attachment to him growing stronger each day, it would be best to have a place of her own. Especially with his comment about wanting kids someday was a definite no-go where she was concerned. So yeah.
Guarding His Unexpected Twins: SEAL Endgame Book Three Page 5
