After Cat hung up, Eliza said, “Going out with Will again, huh?”
“Yup.”
“And you don’t mind that you created him?”
Cat glared at her.
“Well, you were just saying you didn’t know if a fake guy would be what you wanted.”
“We don’t know that he’s fake. Besides, if he were—and I’m not saying he is—he’s the closest to what I’m looking for, so maybe I’d consider it.”
“Because he’s rich?”
Cat elbowed her. “I’m not shallow.” Hesitating a second, she added, “Well, not that shallow. It’s not that I want to be rich, but financial security sounds appealing to someone who’s been battling to keep her head—and her bookstore—above water for the past ten years. And for all my talk about struggles making us stronger, well, William makes me feel safe, and whether it’s feminist or not to say so, that’s what I crave. Right now, at least. I’m sure my mother would be appalled.”
“You don’t know that, Cat,” Eliza said. “You’ve always said how devoted your parents were to each other. I’m sure she wants that for you, too. You know I do. I want to see you open yourself up to love again. Your heart’s been frozen for years; it’s time you thawed it out.”
“What fancy imagery.” Cat sighed, wriggling around on the sofa for a more comfortable position. “You’re right. I’ve been in limbo for a long time, not taking chances on anything. Now with all of this, I don’t know what or who to believe anymore. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, not knowing what is real and what isn’t. I mean, if someone overheard us talking like this at the coffee shop, acting as if bringing characters to life were possible, they’d think we were crazy. And maybe we are. Maybe I am.”
“Don’t pull out the straitjacket just yet. Let’s wait and see if Amaryllis makes a grand entrance.”
Cat half-laughed, half-sobbed. “Oh my God, I really am insane.”
“No, insane is the Salvatore brothers continually working with Klaus when they know he’s evil,” Eliza said, pointing at the TV. “Seriously, would it be so bad if Elena became a vampire? At least then all these crazy efforts to keep her human could stop.”
Cat laughed as tears slipped down her face. “You do know that this is a TV show, right? It’s not real.”
“Hey, if you can create sexy men, who’s to say? A girl can dream. And Damon is so yummy.”
“I like Stefan better.”
“You would.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He’s all about safety. Damon’s all about danger.”
“I like danger, too.”
Eliza snorted.
“Okay, yeah, I don’t. I don’t want danger. A little intrigue, maybe. I’ll leave the adventuring to you.”
“Yeah, like I’m living on the edge,” said Eliza, her voice bitter. “I guess I’ve been hiding out as much as you have, Cat.”
They gave each other a long look. After a moment, Cat said, “Who would’ve thought a silly television show could lead to such introspection?”
“You’re right,” answered Eliza. “Enough of that. How about we go out for a pizza?”
Cat stood up and grabbed her coat off the hook near the door. “You’re on. Heck, let’s throw caution to the wind. Let’s add breadsticks, too.”
The next morning, the Christmas bells she’d tied on the front door jingled, and Cat looked up to greet the first customer of the day. Ben Cooper walked in, shaking off his umbrella. He wiped his feet on the doormat, and then searched the store with his eyes. Spying Cat standing near the Biography section, he broke into a grin and strode toward her.
“Hiya. It’s great to see you again.” His voice was cheerful. “How’ve you been? I hope your mom is doing well.”
“She is, thank you.” She ignored the sudden racing of her heart at his appearance, gesturing toward the window, through which they could see rain coming down hard. “I think you’re the only person I know who could be so happy on such a glum day.”
“Yeah, well, it isn’t the rain that has me in this mood, I guess.”
“What does? Do tell.” An uncomfortable expression skittered across his face for a second.
“Uh ... Christmas shopping. I need a gift for Mei, and thought who better to ask for help with that than you?” His eyes didn’t quite meet hers.
“You guys are still seeing each other? That’s great! I hope it’s going well.” I’m not disappointed. I’m not disappointed. I’m not disappointed.
She paused for a second. “Why would I have any idea what Mei would want for Christmas? I don’t know her.”
“Oh, um. She’s interested in container gardening, whatever that is. Considering I have two black thumbs, I’m way out of my element here, so I thought I’d ask you.” He ran his fingers through his hair, making the front stand up. Cute.
“Here, let’s check over in this section and I’ll see what I have.”
He dutifully followed her across the room to a small section marked Plants/Gardening. Cat bent down to pull a title off the bottom shelf, then abruptly stood and whirled around, almost knocking him off his feet.
He reached out with both arms and grabbed onto her to steady himself. “Whoa there, you okay?”
She looked down at where he still gripped her forearms. She could feel the heat of his long, lean fingers against her skin. She studied them, noting the veins cording their way across the backs of his hands, the well-trimmed nails. She’d never thought a man’s hands could be sexy, and yet that’s exactly what flitted through her mind. Ben Cooper had sexy hands.
She raised her gaze back up. Good Lord, she was just a few inches from his face. And he was looking right at her. Wow, his eyes are beautiful.
She’d never really been a fan of men with brown eyes, though her father had had them—brown had always seemed rather plain, without the exotic hues of the blues and greens she fantasized about. But she was ready to revise that, staring into the chocolaty richness before her.
Their mouths hovered within inches of each other. If she leaned in, she could ... Whoa. Where’d that come from? You can’t kiss Ben Cooper! She worked to control her breathing, which had inexplicably sped up. She stared at him, wide-eyed.
For a second she was sure he wanted to kiss her, too. His grip tightened ever so slightly, and his eyes softened. Had he just rubbed his thumb over her arm? She sucked in a breath, unsure of what to do. Of what she wanted to do.
He gave her an awkward smile, dropping his hands as he took a half step back. This close to him, she could see a small mole to the side of his eyebrow and had to tamp down the urge to reach out and touch it. Instead, she rubbed her arms where he’d been holding her, suddenly feeling cold.
“You okay?” he repeated.
“Yeah, uh, yeah. Sorry. I just realized I never thanked you for helping out Eliza on Black Friday. I should have called you right away when I got in yesterday. I’m so sorry. I’ve been, um, kind of distracted.”
Her heart pounded. Her stomach raced. What was wrong with her? Her nose detected the delicious smell of coffee mixed with man—a heady, warm scent that had her wanting to step closer again.
“With your mom.” He nodded in understanding. “Perfectly logical. In any case, it was no big deal. I was glad to help. Definitely a nice change from students complaining about their grades and planning for finals.”
She didn’t disabuse him of his notion that it was all about her mom. Because to clarify the alternative, the reality, the bizarre fact that she was wrestling with the possibility, the improbability, that she was bringing fictional characters to life, was not an option.
She dropped her eyes to his lips. She needed a break from the intensity of those chocolate eyes. Moving to his mouth wasn’t much better, however. She wanted to reach up and trace those lips, to feel the hint of stubble she noticed along his jaw.
She took a step back herself, squaring her shoulders to ward off her untoward—and inappropriate—thoughts. “Stil
l, it was far above and beyond the call of duty. May I pay you for your time?”
Ben crinkled his face, clearly perturbed. “No. No, I offered that as a service to a friend. We are friends, aren’t we, Cat?”
“Of course we are. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you,” she answered. Taking a deep breath, she turned back around to the bookshelf. “But I do think there’s something down here Mei might like.”
She bent down and pulled off a book. “Here it is,” she said as she handed it up to him. “Container Gardening: An Easy Step-by-Step Guide.”
Ben took the book from her hand, his fingers touching hers as he did.
She shivered, surprised by the contact. Had it been intentional? And why was she reacting this way? She wasn’t the kind of woman who swooned over a man, was she? Except that’s all I seem to be doing lately, ever since this fall. Must be something in the air. Or my biological clock ticking. Or a certain manuscript.
She looked up at Ben to ascertain if he’d noticed the touch. He was thumbing through the book, not looking at her, seemingly unaware of the unexpected cascade of emotions running through her.
For a moment, she wondered if she’d made him up, too. Was that why he was having such an effect on her? A snort burst forth from her nose. Good Lord, I really do think I’m God now, imagining I’ve created everyone around me.
Ben stopped his perusal of the book and looked at her, questions in his eyes.
“I’m sorry. Again. I’m a little, uh, stressed out. That wasn’t directed at you.”
He watched her for a few seconds. “Anything I can do to help?”
There was such genuine concern in his face that Cat suddenly felt the urge to cry. It’d been so long since anyone, except Eliza, had worried much about her. Her family loved her and wanted what was best for her, of course, but they were six hours away. Derrick hadn’t asked her all that much about herself. Grayson had clearly had his eye, and his mind, on other things. William ... William was wonderful, but maybe that was because she’d written him that way. At least she and he had gone on a date and were planning another.
But Ben Cooper? She didn’t know Ben that well. Not really. Why was he being so helpful?
“No. Thank you. You’ve done so much already.”
He looked ready to say something else, but cleared his throat instead and looked down at the book in his hands. “This is perfect, thanks. I’m sure Mei will love it.”
At Mei’s name, Cat’s insides spasmed. He’s taken. Remember? And you have William. Not to mention the bookstore. She nodded.
Together they walked to the cash register. “Are you getting her anything else?” she asked as Ben fumbled for his wallet in his back pocket.
“I wasn’t planning on it,” he said, surprise evident in his voice. “This is what she wants.”
“Sorry. It’s none of my business. Lord knows I would find books a delightful gift from a boyfriend, but some women might feel it’s, um, less than romantic.”
Ben handed her his credit card. He paused a moment before answering. “We’ve only gone on a handful of dates, so I’m not sure she’d call me her boyfriend, but thanks for the tip.”
“Candles are nice. Or jewelry. Does Mei like earrings?” Why she was persisting in this? And why was she so happy that he’d said he and Mei weren’t serious? They still were something.
“I have no idea. I’ve never noticed if she wears earrings.”
Cat touched her own ears self-consciously, fiddling with the blue sapphire earrings her dad had given her as a college graduation present.
Ben leaned around to peek at her ears, and then looked her full in the face. “Beautiful.”
Cat stared at him.
“Those earrings, they are beautiful,” he clarified.
“Thanks. They were a gift from my father.”
He watched her a moment longer. “They suit you,” he said simply. Their eyes remained locked until the door jingled again, breaking the connection between them.
A man walked in.
Cat gasped. “Grayson.”
Chapter 19
Ben turned to assess the newcomer, and then glanced back at Cat. His face seemed stonier, more reserved. He picked up his purchase, his lips tightening before he spoke. “It was nice to see you again, Cat. Please tell Eliza hello.”
“I will,” she answered mechanically, not looking at him, still watching as Grayson sauntered toward her, a lazy grin on his face. The two men exchanged a quick glance as Ben walked out without looking back.
“Hi, Cat,” Grayson said.
“Hi, how are you?” She stared into his gorgeous blue eyes. See, those were the kind of eyes that made her melt. Not chocolate. Chestnut. Sorrel. Mahogany. Ugh, why am I still thinking about Ben Cooper’s regular old brown eyes? She smiled extra widely at Gray as if to erase Ben’s face from her mind.
Gray’s gaze dropped to her mouth. She licked her lips nervously, and his nostrils flared. Good Lord, he’s like a stallion in heat. She twisted her fingers together and shot him a grin, amazed to think she could elicit such a reaction in a man as model-handsome as Gray. It made no sense. Then she sobered.
Of course, it didn’t. Unless I wrote him to behave that way. What a deflating realization, to think that maybe the only reason this guy was attracted to her was because she’d created him to be so. Her smile faded.
Gray didn’t seem to notice. “I’m great,” he said. “Five more papers to grade and my second dissertation chapter to turn in, and I’m a free man. At least until mid-January.”
“That’s great.”
The glumness she suddenly felt must have been evident in her voice, as Grayson reached out and touched her cheek. “Hey, you all right?”
“Yes. I’m sorry.” Geez, there I go, apologizing again. She shook her head. “Nothing to do with you, Grayson. Just some things I’m, um, realizing all of a sudden.”
He scrutinized her face as if trying to figure her out. After a moment, he said, “I’m here to find an anthology of Margaret Atwood poems. I love her Variations on the Word Love. Have you read it?”
“No, but I’ve read a few of her books. I loved Lady Oracle.”
Grayson walked toward the poetry section, thumbing through the books. “Here it is. I think it’s in this volume, at least: her poems from 1976-1986.”
Cat followed him automatically, lost in her own confusion over Ben Cooper, these men and her writing and what it all meant. If it were true. Grayson was alone, after all; no sister in sight. Was that evidence enough against Eliza’s notions—and hers, if she were honest—that she had created him, much less had any control over him?
“Shall I read it to you?” Gray’s voice dipped seductively. His eyes trapped hers again and her pulse fluttered.
Was it possible, since nothing seemed any different, that Grayson’s attentions had nothing to do with any stupid story, any silly manuscript, and were truly focused on her?
Cat hesitated for a second. She knew where it would lead if he read poetry to her: where it had led last time. She could feel the electricity between them, the currents flowing through the room. It was a different kind of magnetism than with Ben, but it was still powerful. Maybe Grayson wouldn’t seduce her right this minute, in the middle of a business day. But soon enough. Did she want that?
No. Sex without love isn’t worth it to me.
Eliza traipsed out of the back room, carrying a box of wrapping paper and ribbons. “I found the extra gift wrapping supplies,” she called out before she spied Grayson. “Oh.” She nearly dropped the box on the floor. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were busy.”
“It’s fine, Eliza. I was helping Grayson find a book he wanted. That’s all,” Cat said. She didn’t know Eliza had been downstairs. Had her friend witnessed her interaction with Ben? Not that anything inappropriate had happened, of course. Outside of her own head, at least.
Eliza grinned. “Sure, if you say so, Cat.” She turned to Grayson. “Hey, Grayson, how’ve you been? We
need you to come to our next Poetry Night—you draw quite the crowd.”
Gray flashed her a flirty grin. Cat was amused to see pink infuse Eliza’s face. “I’d be happy to. When is it? I so enjoyed the last one.” He turned his gaze back to Cat. She could feel heat rush to her cheeks. Great, now I’m blushing.
“Cat did, too,” Eliza said. “I mean, we all did. But I think Cat especially appreciated how the evening turned out.”
Cat wanted to sink into the floor. If she’d been standing closer, she’d have given Eliza a swift kick to the shins. Surreptitiously, of course. Or perhaps not. “We’re still considering when to hold the next one,” she managed to say. “Certainly not until after Christmas. Maybe January. That’s one of our slowest months, so it would be good to draw more people in.” She was babbling. She needed to stop talking.
“Not a problem,” Grayson said. “Just let me know. I’d be more than happy to repeat my performance.”
Eliza dropped the ribbon she’d been holding.
“Thanks, we’ll be in touch.” Cat’s voice was a bit too cheerful in her desperate attempt to mask her embarrassment. “In the meantime, I’ve got to shelve more of our new inventory, so can I ring you up for the book?”
Grayson’s eyes cooled at the obvious dismissal. “I’m just looking today. Still considering my options.”
I bet you are. He had no idea what she could do to him. Or what she maybe possibly could do. She could make him dreadfully odiferous with enormous buck teeth. Or give him a painful boil on his neck. Maybe a nose that never stopped running. Try then to work your wiles on women with your poetry quoting.
She smiled smugly, feeling more in control of herself. Sure, it was crazy to believe she had such powers, but at least it took some of the power away from him.
Gray reached out and grabbed her hand, caressing her palm with his thumb. Okay, less in control now. He’s still damned sexy. “I hope to see you again soon, Cat.” He pointed to the mistletoe Eliza had hung over the Romance section. “Maybe I’ll catch you under that. Got to honor Christmas traditions, you know,” he said with a wink. Then he turned and walked out the door without waiting for an answer.
The Magic of Love Series Page 17
