“What about kids?”
“Kids aren’t an option for me. I don’t have a college degree, and I couldn’t support them in the manner that I should. It would be cruel for a man like me, who chose the path that I did, to have children.”
Lexi started to cry.
“I can’t have children. I had cervical cancer in my early twenties and had to go through chemo. It left me unable.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s ok,” Lexi said, trying to smile. “I just never thought that I would find a man who would not need children that I could love. I guess God does work in mysterious ways. And I love you, Travis. I could love you forever.”
Then I said, “I love you, too.”
“We took the red-eye to Las Vegas that night and got married.”
“You married Lexi after just two months?”
“I know. I married my wife and I had never seen her office and never met one of her friends. Hell, I knew almost nothing about her at all. Pretty crazy, huh?”
“Oh, Travis,” Ava said, floored.
“I was in love. We flew home the next morning from Vegas, never had a honeymoon. I needed to practice golf, and she had some big cases going on. Lexi helped set up a new bank account for me and filled it with a little more money to make it equal $100,000. My dream was fulfilled. I quit my job and began trying to figure out which mini-tour to play the next year. Then it happened.”
“A month into marriage, I drove home from golf practice, and Lexi’s car was in the driveway. She never beat me home. I opened the front door, and she ran to hug me, jumping up and down.”
“I’m pregnant,” Lexi said, handing me a home pregnancy stick-thingy.
“You’re what?”
“I’m pregnant. I took three tests, and they all were positive. It’s a miracle.”
“She told me that she had been feeling bad when she woke up for the past week and wondered if it was morning sickness. Lexi was so happy that I couldn’t do anything but say it was great. Two days later, we went to see her gynecologist. Lexi gave a urine sample, and the pregnancy was confirmed. She was three months pregnant.”
“Three months?” Ava gasped.
“Yeah,” Travis said, taking a big swig from his drink. “So I asked the doctor how rare it was for an ex-cancer patient to get pregnant, and if there any complications we should prepare ourselves for in the future. The gynecologist gave me this crazy look and asked why I would propose such a question.”
“Because my wife had cervical cancer and went through chemo in her early twenties,” I said.
“Lexi started laughing, saying that I was just stressed and didn’t know what I was saying. The doctor tried to smile then shook his head as he left the room. Right when the door closed, Lexi slapped my face. Hard.”
“Don’t you ever do something like that again!” she yelled, her eyes glaring right through me. “From now on, I ask the questions, not you. Let the adults talk, and you just sit there looking pretty.”
“Obviously, I realized that I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. We had taken separate cars, so I hustled out of the office and drove like mad to our bank, to get my money out of the new account, but she closed the account weeks ago. She had set up new accounts that needed Lexi’s approval in order for me to access any money. My money was under her control, I had no job and no place to live. Worse, I was too embarrassed to tell anybody what had just happened. I was trapped.”
“So I got home and she greeted me, lovingly, like nothing had happened, asking me about baby names or some such thing. I asked her about the bank accounts, and she said she had to change them, in case I ran out on her now that she was pregnant, that men do that a lot. She explained that golf didn’t matter now because my golf playing was over.
“You’re a father now,” Lexi explained. “You’re not a child anymore. Now you are here for us, our child and me. Your job is just to take care of us now. A stay-at-home-dad. This child is the greatest thing that has ever happened to you, and you don’t even realize it yet. I did this for you. I’m making you the man that you were meant to be. In a few years, you’ll be thanking me. You’ll no longer be a joke. You’re my husband now, and you’re important.”
“The next day I went to see the only guy that I trusted in the world. Mac.” Travis raised his hand, signaling for another round of drinks. Mac gave him a thumbs-up.
“How did you know Mac?” Ava asked.
“He was the night manager at Marcos, a former cook, and my boss when I worked there. He was a smart guy who I always trusted, and I loved working for Mac those five years. I told him my situation, and he gave me some tough advice. He said that I was a golfer, and golfers always play it as it lies. So I needed to suck it up and make the best of all this. Not for me, but for my child. I had put my child in this situation, and I needed to protect my child. He explained that it was lucky that I got to stay home with the child because I could protect the child from Lexi, that my child needed protection. He told me to go home, prepare for the child, and make it the best marriage that it can be. When the child left home, I could leave. So that’s what I did.”
“That’s insane,” Ava countered.
“No, little girl. That’s life. And life isn’t fair.”
“Life’s not fair, blah-blah-blah,” Mac said mockingly, reloading the drinks and grabbing the old ones. “I’m marrying a doctor, and I’m a great golfer, but life’s not fair. I’m drunk at noon on a weekday cuz life’s not fair. Boo-hoo-hoo.”
“Shut up, Mac, you old bastard,” Travis laughed, then toasted him for the reload.
“So I sucked it up, put down the golf clubs and started preparing for a child, doing all the Lamaze and baby classes with Lexi, reading anything that I could get my hands on concerning babies and child care, and trying to create a life with my new wife. Then she goes into labor a couple of weeks early. We head to the hospital, and thirteen hours later, out came Charlotte Louise Hatfield. I named her. I always liked Charlotte’s Web, and Louise was my cool grandmother’s name. The sad part was I named her because Lexi didn’t care.
“When the nurses brought the baby into the room, Lexi told them to let me hold her. Man, Charlotte was a cutie, and so small. I could hold her in one hand. That moment blew me away. The nurses left, and I asked Lexi again if she wanted to hold her.”
“You don’t even care that we had a girl, do you?” she asked, caustically. “You are such a pussy. What kind of man doesn’t want a son? Truth is you’re probably not man enough to have a son. So instead, we have a girl. Just what the world needs, another whore in the world.”
“Then Lexi rolled over and fell asleep,” Travis said, taking a big sip from his Jack and Sprite Zero.
Chapter 7
A Better Understanding
Ava stood up, walked around for a few seconds, then sat back down again.
“Wait, Travis. You’re skipping over way too much.”
“How so?”
“I mean, Lexi was the greatest thing ever, and then she’s calling her first born child a whore?”
“Pretty much. That’s the way it happened.”
“But how, Travis? Who was she? I mean, what type of lawyer was she, and what type of person was she? She makes no sense to me.”
“Well,” Travis said, “Lexi never really made sense. She was a manipulator. A fake, or an imposter. She used people to achieve her goals in life. She was a corporate lawyer, stuff like contract and securities law, I think. I never really cared. I know she wasn’t very good at it, but that didn’t matter to her. She moved up the ladder by using people, manipulating and trapping them. Her goal in life was to be powerful but not work very hard. She wanted to be feared, and she loved controlling other people’s lives.”
“How did you not see this in her?”
“She was a pro at it when I met her, and I was young
and stupid. I discovered right before Lexi died that she was married twice before, so I wasn’t her first sucker. The first guy paid for her college and law school. The second guy helped her make partner at her law firm.”
“Oh my God, Travis. She was married twice before, and you married her?”
“I had no idea that she was twice divorced. Both divorces claimed spousal abuse, and it was probably true. Lexi could do things to make a man want to hit her. She got a lot of money from both guys in the divorces. She’d find your button and just keep pressing, laughing at you the whole time.”
“Did you ever hit her?” Ava asked.
“No. I did everything that I could to protect my children. I just sat back and took it. No way I would let her win. You know me, I’m a stubborn ass.”
“What did Lexi want from you?”
“A child. I guess that old biological clock was going off inside her and she was looking for a donor. I met her criteria, knowing the answer to her silly poem question. Elizabeth Barrett. Can you believe it? So she got her kid. But I put a wrinkle on her little plan. I wouldn’t leave. No matter what she did, I wouldn’t leave. I had to protect Charlotte from my mistake.”
“What was Lexi like to live with?”
“Horrid,” Travis smirked, taking a quick sip of Jack. “After we got married, each day was worse. I think she was one of those people that just liked the chase in relationships. Once she got you, she hated you, and just wanted to torture you with cutting words and acts of shaming you. At first, it was subtle, but over time, they became more overt and obviously intentional, trying to make me leave.”
“Like what, Travis?”
“Well, before we got married, it was all perfume and lingerie, but after saying ‘I do,’ all Lexi wore to bed were warm-up pants and sweatshirts. Then, right before the baby was born, she turned one of the guest bedrooms into my bedroom. Lexi kicked me out of the bed that she used to seduce and trick me into marrying her. She said that when the baby was born, the child would sleep with her and I needed to go to a different room. She explained that it was unfair that I got to spend all day with our child and she had to work because I had no job and was worthless. It would only be fair for her to spend her nights with the baby.
“I just said ok, for two big reasons. One, I hated sleeping in the same bed with Lexi. She was such a phony and a liar, I hated being in the same room with her, much less laying next to her. I was ecstatic to be out of that bed. And two, I knew she wouldn’t sleep with the baby in her room for long. After two nights, she put the crib in my bedroom, explaining that she worked for a living and needed her sleep. I knew she could not take care of a baby. She hated anything that was demanding and needed constant attention. I don’t think she could take care of a cat, much less an infant.
“So without doing anything, I had gotten Charlotte and myself out of her bedroom. That was a good day.” Travis snickered to himself, remembering. “Pretty pathetic. But that’s what living with Lexi was like.”
“I just don’t get it, Travis. How could you have another child with this monster?”
Travis downed the rest his Jack and Sprite Zero, then pulled the other one toward him. He thought for a second, then just said it.
“I didn’t.”
“What?” Ava asked, floored.
“Ava, I have blonde hair. Lexi had blonde hair. Charlotte has blonde hair. But Shelby has black curly hair.”
“What are you saying, Travis?”
“Lexi was having trouble at work. I think her ineptness was showing with a new client, and she couldn’t figure out how to fix things. She became erratic, a nightmare. I don’t know how she acted at work, but at home, she was a terror, really drinking heavily and screaming a lot. But then things got better, a few months after Charlotte’s first birthday. I remember Lexi being almost tolerable, like her life had gotten better or something. I had no idea. A few months later, I noticed her clothes being a little tight around the belly, then it became obvious. She was pregnant.”
“So you had another kid with her?”
“I hadn’t slept with Lexi since the scene at the gynecologist’s office, almost two years before. After all the lies and living with the psycho, I didn’t want to touch Lexi ever again. And she had no interest in me anymore. It couldn’t have been me.”
Ava asked, “Who?”
“Her boss. She figured out a way to keep her job.”
Ava thought to herself and realized how obvious it was that Shelby wasn’t Travis’s biological daughter. As a little girl, Ava never thought about it or questioned it. But now, it made perfect sense.
“You raised another man’s child?”
“I confronted Lexi,” Travis continued. “She confessed, of course, because it was obvious. Lexi said that she had complete job security now, that she had done it for Charlotte, and me. And she said that I could raise this child, just like Charlotte.”
“How did you not leave her, Travis?”
“I almost did, but it made life better. You see, now I knew a big secret that could destroy her life. Lexi needed me, so I got treated better. Not like a husband, but like a beneficial worker. She treated me with more respect, and she knew that I was an important piece to her puzzle of a life. So Charlotte’s life would be better also.”
“Travis, that is insane!”
“Yes, it is,” he said, taking a sip. “But that was my life. If I tried to divorce her, I’d never see Charlotte again, and no telling who would raise her. So my whole life was protecting Charlotte. Plus, once Shelby was born, I had to take care of her. She was so precious and had nobody. She became my daughter from the first moment that I laid eyes on her. Shelby is and always will be my daughter.”
Travis put his head down.
“I was looking at Shelby through the window of the maternity ward, a couple of hours after she was born,” Travis began, like it hurt to say each word. “I was holding Charlotte and just looking through the glass at Shelby, realizing how my life had changed and thinking about all that I had in front of me for the next 18 years. Then I heard a voice say, ‘You better take real good care of my little girl, boy, or, I swear, I’ll kill you.’ Charlotte squirmed a little on my shoulder, so it took me a second to turn around. When I did, I saw a man in a black suit walking toward the elevators with his back to me. He had black curly hair.” Travis let out a big sigh. “He died when Shelby was a sophomore in high school, and as far as I know, he never bothered her. It was the only time that I ever saw him.”
Chapter 8
The Learning
Travis headed toward the men’s room. After pausing the recorder on her computer, Ava stretched, then walked over toward Mac, who was putting some finishing touches on the bar area.
“When did Travis start drinking?”
“When the girls left,” Mac answered, wiping down a glass shelf. “What, a man can’t have a drink anymore?”
“I’m just worried about him. He seemed like the same guy on the golf course, but I don’t remember him like this. Travis seems—. He seems tired. Too tired.”
“He’s just older now, Ava, and so are you. Travis is the same guy, just different priorities now. What are you guys doing anyway?”
“She’s trying to help Charlotte and Shelby,” Travis said, motioning Ava back toward the table. “Refills, Mac, if you please.”
“In a bit. I ordered a couple of pizzas. Should be here any minute. I’ll refill when it arrives.”
“You’re the best, Mac,” Travis yelled, sitting back down.
“I’m going to be a blimp for a bride,” Ava said, sliding back into the booth and pressing record. “Whataburger for breakfast and pizza for lunch. What do you eat for dinner?”
“Ice cream. Where were we?”
“Shelby was born,” Ava said, looking at her notes.
“Ah, yes, the life of a stay-at-home dad,” Travis beg
an. “That’s what we should write a book about.”
“Really. Why, Travis?”
“Because people need to understand what it is like for a guy to raise children from infancy. No one gets it. See, being a stay-at-home dad is hard, but not because guys can’t do it or suck at it. It just goes against nature. Dads are different from moms.
“Dads are problem solvers. If we hear a child cry, we try to figure out what the crying means: is the child hungry? is she hurt? does she need a diaper? whatever. A mom hears a child cry, and she just runs and hugs the child. So a guy naturally makes taking care of a kid more difficult on himself, more of an effort, where a mom just comforts the kid and deals with the reason in her own sweet time.
“Dads aren’t made to take care of infants. If a dad gets lost in the woods with a baby, the baby dies. If a mom gets lost with a baby, the baby has food. And I promise you, the baby knows it. My children would take a bottle from me, but they knew that Lexi had the fresh milk. You could tell in their eyes that I was not the total package when it came to their nourishment. But once they were old enough for solid food, they were like, ‘Hey, you’re not so bad. You do serve a purpose.’ Lexi nursed the girls for 18 months each, so they bonded food-wise with her.”
“Wow,” Ava said, “so Lexi was a good mom when the girls were young?”
“No. Lexi did nurse the kids in the evening sometimes, and pumped milk for my bottles at work during the day, but she loved how big her boobs got when the kids were born. She’d wear these short sleeveless blouses and push-up bras, really looked like a tramp, which she was. I’m sure she loved the attention. Whatever. I just needed the bottles. When the girls stopped nursing, she got a boob job to keep up the facade. It was so obvious, but she got a huge bonus that year, so they worked. I guess you could say that they paid for themselves real quick.”
Disappearing like the Wind Page 4
