by Tiana Laveen
She came again and he cradled her, holding her head to his shoulder as he kept thrusting within her, never letting up. When she settled, he raised her legs, placing them over his shoulders. He went in at a sharp angle, making her scream and claw at his tattooed, hard flesh.
“Whose pussy is this?!”
“Yours! Yours, baby!”
“Ya fuckin’ right! What’s my name?”
“Jordan!”
“Let me spell my name in this shit! Morse code! J!” He drilled into her. “O! R! D! A! N!” And again and again after each letter. Her legs shook as she held onto him by a thread. He roared and pounded so fast and hard, the bed sheets slid to the floor and the bed rocked.
“Ahhh! FUCK! Here it cums, baby!” His hips rolled then locked. The warmth of his velvety expulsion inundated the condom, heating her spasming walls. Her body was on fire, pussy throbbing in concert with his dick inside her. He rested his head on her breasts, both of them barely able to catch their breath.
Moments were not moments, for when she looked at the clock, she released they’d been asleep for over an hour. He rested soundly on her, a light snore coming from him. Caressing his hair, she looked down at him, refusing to move too much, not wishing to wake him.
‘Blackbird,’ by the Beetles was now playing. Her eyes teared up when she recalled hearing this song playing on her grandmother’s radio in the car one day. Grandma was long gone, but her sweetness lived forever. Jordan began to stir. One powerful leg stretched, then the other. He inched closer, kissed her chin, then rolled over onto his back. Eyes half opened, he looked as if he were on the verge of falling fast asleep again, but fighting it. He reached over and took her hand.
“I’m not perfect, Egypt. I sometimes say things I shouldn’t, do things I shouldn’t, but you make me wanna work to get on your level. I never wanna hurt you again. Lose your trust. Trust is so hard to regain once its lost and yeah,” he waved his other hand, “I know I was young when all that shit went down, but it troubled me. I didn’t have to be anyone else but me when I was with you. You liked me just as I was. It was a fuckin’ relief! You were a refuge.”
His voice cracked, and he briefly turned away. “I had to be this strong soldier all the time for my father, ya know? I know he meant well, so I don’t hold it against him, and he was a good man, but all these expectations he had were debilitating sometimes. He wanted me to never show emotion, no matter what. See, his father raised him like that. He didn’t know any better and it’s not even that I’m an emotional guy and I’ve been hidin’ it, but shit, I shoulda been allowed to cry at Grandma’s funeral.
“For my mother, I had to be a rock. I didn’t mind that so much. She needed me. I still help ’er out, send money, things like that. At school, I had to be the football star and entertainer. It’s like I got typecast. If I didn’t feel like jokin’ around, people said I was actin’ shady. Nah, sometimes shit just isn’t funny. For my friends, I had to be the party animal. Sometimes, I didn’t feel like being some soldier. Sometimes, I didn’t want to be the rock. Occasionally, I didn’t feel like playin’ ball or laughin’. Every now and again, I didn’t feel like partying. Sometimes, I just wanted… I just wanted someone to say, ‘Jordan, you’re all right. Just sit still. Stop movin’ around. There’s nothin’ you need to do for me, nothin’ you should change or pretend to be.’ You gave that to me, Egypt. Ya never said it in those words—your actions showed it.”
She pulled him close and kissed his forehead. He turned towards her, deep hurt in his eyes.
“You have to forgive yourself for not being perfect, Jordan. And you have to forgive yourself for sometimes not even wanting to be.” She reached for him and pressed her lips to his. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, his embrace and touch bursting with hunger.
It wasn’t long before they were making love again. Tangled in the sheets. He had her from behind, the side, and she rode his big, wonderful dick until she exploded like a comet in the sky. The way he touched her, spoke to her, said so much. She realized he was a much more complex man than she’d imagined. Like a gift, she’d be unwrapping Jordan hour after hour, day after day, year after year. There was so much of him to explore…
CHAPTER NINE
Time is on the Menu.
“Jordan, I thought you were going to return in a week?
“I can’t. Trying to take care of some things.” Jordan removed his watch from his wrist after a long day of tinkering with Ma’s bathroom sink. He set the Rolex on his old, worn-out dresser in his erstwhile bedroom, now filled with his mother’s odds and ends.
“Take care of some things?” his boss questioned, clearly annoyed. “You said you were going to Boston to celebrate Thanksgiving with family. Everything all right?”
Jordan regarded himself in the vanity mirror a few feet away. His wifebeater was soiled with sweat and dirt, and yet, he looked happy, despite being tired and trying to do the right damn thing. Fact of the matter was, his mind was already made up. It was just a matter of implementation. He took note of the pictures around the vanity. Old photographs from a Polaroid camera were crammed between the frame and the mirror. One was of his father. He smiled at it, then gave it a little wave.
“To be straight with ya, Kent, I’m trying to find a fuckin’ time machine.” The guy burst out laughing. “But it’s yet to be found. Don’t cha wish we had one? Hope that they really existed? Could you imagine the ability to be able to change the past? Do the right fuckin’ thing instead of being a bone head. A fuckin’ idiot.”
“I must’ve called you at a bad time. Clearly you’re drunk.”
He sat on the edge of Ma’s sewing chair and sighed. “Nah, not drunk at all. I just have some things to sort out. Don’t worry about me. I won’t let cha down with my responsibilities. I can’t really get into it. Well, I could, but I won’t. It’s a private matter, but it needs attention. In the meantime, what I’d like to do is log into the system and start attending meetings on Zoom and Teams, working remotely. I’ve got my computer here. I just need remote access is all. I know Carey has to get in there and give me the codes so I can access all the files. Right now, I can get to my emails and the items on my laptop, but some are security encrypted since I’m out of the office and not at home, and I didn’t have a leave notice for work during this period of time. Can he take care of that for me? That way, nothin’ will get behind.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem. This is unlike you to stay away like this. Whatever is going on, it must be pretty serious. You rarely called off work or needed extended vacation in the entire time you’ve worked in our department. It’s been a long time.”
“I know. I have to do what I have to do though.” Earning trust and falling in love all over again takes time and patience…
“When will you be back?”
“When denial just ain’t a river in Egypt…”
Daryl’s Corner Bar and Kitchen on Columbus Avenue was packed, per usual. Egypt perused the menu, looking for new entrees, even though she knew the selections by heart and was stuck on a few favorites. She loved this place and what made this evening special is they were celebrating the birthday of one of her best friends, Shae.
“What are you getting, Egypt?” her friend Brenda called out from the other end of the table. “For the life of me, I can’t decide.”
“I’m trying to choose, too. It’s a toss-up between the jambalaya or the catfish tonight.” Her neck began to hurt, she’d been looking down for so long. This was now her third tour reviewing the selections in the noisy, yet posh and comfortable soul food restaurant. Erin should’ve been here with us, too. I miss you, girlfriend. She sat a stone’s throw away from an obscene shitload of pretty pink and purple wrapped gifts with shiny bows and silver balloons tethered to white ribbons. Not too far down the table was a large vanilla and chocolate swirl birthday sheet cake, ready for the candles. A pair of glittery red high heels made a pretty topper and happy birthday were scrolled in bright yellow and purple f
ont icing.
Her friends suddenly erupted in boisterous laughter. Apparently, she’d missed a joke, but she tossed on a smile and a hopefully convincing chuckle to blend in. She’d been so damn distracted. Crossing and uncrossing her legs, she tried to get comfortable in her cream dress and brand new matching ankle boots, and simply enjoy the evening in good company. Yet, fiery memories of her rendezvous with Jordan a week prior kept taking over her mind.
Her pussy throbbed as she played back the way he thrust and rotated his dick in and out of her, the look in his eyes as he made love to her, and the whisper he’d spoken in her ear after he’d cum again: ‘I’ve ruined you for every other man. Just as it was intended…’
“Ma’am, your order?”
“Oh! Uh, yes…” She quickly chose the catfish and a couple side dishes, and requested a refill for her iced tea. She looked around the table, so happy to see all of her friends from college finally together again. They often spoke on the phone, FaceTimed, and met for fast luncheon dates, but everyone was so busy with life, family, and the pursuit of happiness, it seemed there just wasn’t always enough time to fellowship with one another like they used to. But she was proud of herself, and these women. They were sisters. Closer, in fact; these were like-minded women who’d attended MIT in Cambridge with her. While her degree was in Computer Science, they graduated in other scientific and technology fields such as engineering, mathematics, and biology. One of the professors there had encouraged a small group of Black women to start an organization for the support and encouragement of women of color. By the time Egypt came along, it was in full swing, and they recruited her, welcoming her with open arms.
They supported one another with job hunting, building resumes, training, and other useful things. They’d even taken an etiquette class together, and travelled to Milan in their last year of college as gift to themselves, and each other. They’d been through thick and thin together, through graduations, relocations, marriages, divorces, child births, troubles, the untimely death of their beloved sister, Erin, and all the curve balls of life.
“Egypt!” Her friend Asia set her drinks menu aside and studied her. “You are distracted as hell tonight. What’s going on, babe?” Several friends nodded in agreement, a couple showing great concern on their faces. And then… it happened.
“Oh no… she’s smiling. HARD!” Brenda belted, causing the entire group to burst out laughing. “Who is he?”
By now, Egypt’s cheeks were darn near burning.
“Whew.” She shook her head, tucked her hair behind one ear and clasped her hands, trying to look poised when she was an entire mess. “I don’t really want to detract from Shae’s birthday. I think—”
“Egypt, shut up.” Shae laughed and rolled her eyes. “We want the juice. I’m not going to let you use me as an excuse to get off the hook.”
All the women’s’ eyes were on her, zoned in and hanging on for dear life. It had been so long since she had a juicy romance or sexual exploit to tell about. Jordan wasn’t like the other guys; he was in his own league. These conversations that revolved around men, usually happened at one of their homes, in front of roaring fireplaces with wine, liquor, and early 2000s R&B. Or while someone hosted a sex toy party and passed a joint around, or Lord forbid, during one of those MLM pyramid scheme meetings their friend Jayla kept getting wrapped in, and was damn near offended if anyone asked her why she was attracted to cult-like organizations.
“Hello? Earth to Egypt.” Shae snapped her fingers. “Look, we’re about tired of you tonight, and the evening has just begun. All this looking around, daydreaming, acting silly and barely speaking. Your head is in the clouds, and anytime we look like how you’re looking right now, there is definitely a penis somewhere in the picture. Whose penis is it, Egypt?”
“I knew him in high school,” she began. “His name is Jordan. He lives in L.A. now. He came back in town for Thanksgiving, found me online, messaged me, and then we decided to get a drink. We’ve been inseparable ever since.”
“High school?”
“Yes.”
“Wow, I like this!” Shae looked rather invested, as if this bit of homegrown gossip was a perfect fit for her birthday jamboree. “Now, if my memory serves me correctly, Egypt, you told me that your high school years were not exactly fun.”
“They weren’t.” She finished off her iced tea, wondering why the refill hadn’t arrived yet. Shae had been Valedictorian of her school, as well as Homecoming Queen. In that regard, they were from two different worlds. “My parents were going through some marital issues at the time. There was a house fire on top of everything else, which had me displaced, but they wanted me to stay in the school I was in, so I went to live with an older cousin. Patricia didn’t have any children, had never married. She worked two jobs and was barely home, so I was lonely. I had friends, but they didn’t live as close, and you know how it is, once you’re out of school for the day, sometimes that’s pretty much it as far as social interaction.”
“You didn’t have any other family members around, Egypt?”
“I saw my parents all the time, but that’s not the same as having a friend. You may not recall, but I have a step-brother, Richard, but he and I never did talk much. He’s twelve years older than me and has lived in Florida his entire life, so really, it was just me. Anyway, Jordan and I used to walk to school together after I started living with Patricia. He lived down the street from her house.” The ladies nodded in understanding. “The walk was long, so we’d talk. And talk. And talk. In that process, we really got to know one another. I developed a crush on him. A really big one. And he had a crush on me, too.”
“And, you always held a flame for this Jordan guy, huh? It never fully extinguished?” Light glinted in Shae’s eyes, as if she, too, were on some romantic excursion, experiencing a love to be savored.
“Definitely yes. I mean, I thought about him from to time, and I’ll never admit it to him, but I did look him up on social media like five or six years ago. I noticed he was still living in California, but couldn’t find much else about his status. Not a picture. Nothing. I just assumed he was married with kids by then. I also had convinced myself I really didn’t care anymore, but you’re right, that flame always burned. It’s complicated.”
“I just want to see you happy,” Brenda chimed in once more.
“I am happy, Brenda.” And she meant that.
“I think Egypt is happy.” Shae leaned in, sloshing her glass of wine about, a contemplative smirk on her face. “But she keeps her secrets close to her heart. Only problem is, she wears her emotions on her sleeve. She doesn’t say it, but we can all see it.” Egypt shifted in her seat, a wee bit uncomfortable at how everyone was psychoanalyzing her.
“I think I’ve been forthcoming, Shae. I don’t try to hide anything from you all. It’s just not everything needs rehashing. Trust me, I love each and every one of you. I missed you guys, too.” She smiled at all of them, dressed as they were in the beautiful colors of the rainbow, some sporting fur-lined coats, their natural curls, waves and kinks, while others donned sleek middle parts, jet black hair flowing down their backs, cream colored suits, and expensive high heels to die for. These women were her rock, her support system, and yet, the little girl inside her, the young Egypt who cried as she tried to pull up stiff jeans over thick thighs, changed clothing in locker rooms when no one was looking, and stole diet pills with bad side effects from her mother’s dresser drawer had in fact been hidden away. But Jordan knew that girl well. Young Egypt was the gatekeeper and the prisoner. The lion and the lamb.
I’m not ashamed of you, young Egypt. I just want to protect you. Do you want to tell your story? Give me a sign.
Chatter had begun once more, side conversations about celebrity gossip and the sort, and at one point, a large woman entered the restaurant. Everyone turned her way. She was decked out in a fluorescent fuchsia church hat covered in magenta and lavender feathers, with matching dress and shoes. She moved slowly,
but deliberately. With purpose. Someone from another table burst out laughing, the sound shrill and obnoxious. They pointed, saying, ‘She knows her big ass shouldn’t be in here. She looks like Barney.’ Egypt burned with rage and was about to get up and go off on the asshole, but then, she looked at the proud woman sail on by, her nose in the air, her jewelry sparkling against her skin, her confidence a thing of beauty and mystique. She paid the bastard no mind, so why should she? The women resumed their chat, sharing raunchy jokes and bursts of merriment.
“I want you all to know something.” Everyone turned in her direction. “Since Shae has called me out, I’m just going to put it out on the table.”
“Speak your speech!” Shae raised her glass in the air as if she were going to do a toast.
“I was overweight while in elementary and high school. It wasn’t a thyroid issue or medical condition. I was an emotional overeater. The food was free to me. Readily available, and it helped me cope with things I couldn’t change or control. That’s how I dealt with stress. My home life wasn’t necessarily a wreck, but there were issues and of course, there were the normal things that teenagers go through. What really was my undoing was the bullying at school, which only compounded the issues.” A few compassionate faces fixed on hers. She imagined a few were shocked she’d ever been in such a vulnerable position. “I was also, like a few of you, at a school that didn’t really truly acknowledge the African American population, so I felt like a bit of an outsider.
“That aside, I’m all the stronger and wiser for it.” Several women nodded, a sense of admiration exuding off them. Much to her surprise, she didn’t feel judged. No one laughed or made an off-color joke. “When I went away to college, it was a new start for me. The summer before I started freshman year, none of you knew me, but I worked hard on losing the weight. I was in a new part of town. I wanted a fresh start, and the guy… the guy I had trusted was gone. I wanted to forget about him and reinvent myself. The problem was, the weight came off, much easier than I expected once I put my mind to it, but the stress and lack of addressing my issues that had actually caused the problem in the first place, remained. I then realized, weight wasn’t my problem.
