to look at it deeply, smell its fragrance, admire its color and
intricate design. Slowly taste its nectar, as you receive the
sweetness and exoticness that this planet has to offer you in
every single moment. Take in the pleasure of being human.
IT’S YOUR HUMANNESS THAT INSPIRES ME
It is your humanness that inspires me:
Your ability to choose to rise, fall after fall.
It’s your humanness that inspires me:
The time you chose the light when it was darker than ever before.
It’s your humanness that inspires me:
How you found the courage to let the life you had
so consciously created crumble and fall.
It’s your humanness that inspires me:
When you share your heart, cracks and all.
It’s your humanness that inspires me:
That you tell the truth about how hard life got
and how you’re different from before.
It’s your humanness that inspires me:
The day you let your old self die, in order for
who you were becoming to be born.
It’s your humanness that inspires me:
How no matter how many times you doubted it,
You never stopped answering the call.
PRAY INTO THE ANXIETY
Two years ago I woke up with this subtle yet uncomfortable anxious feeling. I couldn’t remember how long it had been there or when it started. The truth is, I don’t remember ever not feeling it.
The reason it felt foreign is because I had never actually allowed myself to feel it in full. The moment it came up I’d push it back down in an effort to stop feeling it. So many of us live our lives like this, with subtle undercurrents of emotion that we’re not aware of.
I spent months trying to do all that I could to shake it using every single tool in my kit. Frustrated that nothing I tried could ever quite free me from its presence, I finally surrendered. Instead of pushing it away, I allowed it to be fully here.
I realized how I had been looking at this anxiety as a feeling that needed to be fixed. Something that should go away. Something that I should not be feeling.
I realized how I had seen my negative emotions, pain, and suffering as things that I needed to overcome. Things I should be ashamed of feeling. Where the truth is that all feelings and parts of the human experience are holy.
So each time I noticed the feeling return, instead of pushing it into the shadows (where it could control me), or trying to fix it, I would invite it in fully.
By allowing my anxiety to come sit beside me the prayer energy was finally able to reach it, to envelop it, to cradle it, to soften it. Shakti was free to do Her thing.
Instead of being held. Stuck. Stagnant. I began to notice each time it sparked up throughout my day. In each moment I’d allow myself to feel it fully.
By allowing it all to be here, I saw how this anxiety had actually been a powerful driving force in me getting stuff done. A superpower of sorts, scaring me into being productive. Could I still be successful without this pressure as my driver?
RISE SISTER RISE
The feelings that you banish are the path to your peace and the
secret to unleashing your unstoppable power. Start to become
aware of the undercurrent feelings that you push away. It is
the subtle ones that are in the driver’s seat of your life. Invite
them to step forward and be fully present, rather than casting
them aside to the dungeon where they secretly hold the keys.
Breathe in and out deeply and inquire, do you have
an undercurrent emotion that you just can’t shake?
If you had to give it a name, what would it be –
anxious, fear of being caught out, not good enough,
etc.? Name your undercurrent emotion now.
Instead of pushing it aside, allow it to be completely
here now and invite the prayer energy to reach it,
offering it up as you do. Continue to do this every time
you notice this undercurrent emotion begin to rise.
PLEASURE NOT PRESSURE
We are either driven by pressure or driven by pleasure. The amount of work we do is the same. Choose pleasure not pressure.
As I described previously, my undercurrent driving force when I worked in advertising was pressure. So why did I find myself years later living the life I deeply desired, doing what brought me pleasure, while still having pressure as my driving force? It’s because while I changed my life, I didn’t change the old system. I was using the old patriarchal model in the new life I had created for myself. It was like I had the latest MacBook Air with an operating system from the 1990s.
So many of us have learned to use fear as our driver. To be motivated by what we want to avoid, rather than what we would be delighted to create. We are in survival mode, not trusting life or anything around us. So attached to outcomes that we strive to get the job and then, once we have it, we either put on extra pressure to get the next thing or to ensure that we don’t lose what we have. In doing so we deny ourselves the pleasure of actually enjoying the very thing we worked so hard to create.
When you make pleasure your driving force, the doing is a joy and the outcome is irrelevant. When you make pressure your driving force, the doing is a stress and the outcome is always changing. It is irrelevant what you are doing, what is relevant is the undercurrent emotion that is driving it. You can change your entire life, but if you don’t update the system nothing will really change.
Take writing this book for example. I could sit down and be driven by the pressure of:
Will my readers like it, will my publisher like it, will it be the worst book ever written in all of human history, will it sell as many copies as my first, when should I write the next one, what if it has been written before, what if I don’t get it done in time, what if I have to rewrite it completely, what if I am not exercising enough, what if I am not spending enough time with my family and friends?
OR…
I could be driven by the pleasure of actually writing it:
I can’t believe that I get to spend my time sharing my heart, that I can freely share my voice. I just love being able to write on a Sunday while it’s raining outside and I am wearing the cashmere socks I got for Christmas. How great is it that I can have a dance break in the middle of my home ‘office.’ I just love letting nature inspire me and sharing her whispers, I love writing so much and love that I have managed to create a life that lets me do just that, how lucky am I?
The action is exactly the same, the end point is too; however, the enjoyment levels are polar opposites.
When you make pressure your driving force, each decision is based on what you want to avoid rather than what you will enjoy.
#RISESISTERRISE MANTRA
Pleasure not pressure.
RISE SISTER RISE
Are you driven by pleasure or pressure?
How can you make pleasure your driving force?
MOTHER EARTH IS BUSY WEAVING THE THREADS OF YOUR LIFE
You don’t need to be busy for things to be happening. If you’re someone who gets lit up by self-improvement this one is extra important. If you’re doing all the time, there’s not space for Mother Earth to do anything for you.
Put time aside for unattached nothingness. Creating, playing, and relaxing. Not for the outcome of where it will get you or what it will give you, but for the pure pleasure of it. Don’t fall back into the patriarchal linear thinking that in order to be productive you need to be active at all times. When you play or commune with nature you fall back into flow with Life. Mother Earth is busy knitting the tapestry of your life when you least expect it. Instead of relying on your masculine reserves of endurance, work at fine-tuning your intuition and move when you are called to move.
The Universe is always hard at work for you, serv
ing you. Every step you take toward the flow of Life, Life takes three.
RISE SISTER RISE
Do you believe you need to be busy in order to be
productive? What could you delegate to Mother Earth while
you spend some time relaxing? Put in your requests.
PRACTICE: A LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER
Write a letter to yourself from the Great
Mother. What does She want you to know?
What does She want you to remember?
HELD
The Mother is waiting to hold you. To support you. To show you the way. To guide your each and every move. But in order for Her to do so, you need to be willing to be held. Like really held. Totally. In full. 100 percent. Held. If you only allow 50 percent that’s how much support you will receive. However unmet you feel by Life, that’s the amount you are resisting being held.
Being held takes courage. It takes faith. For it requires that you allow all control, scheming, and relying on your own strength to dissolve away.
The next time you feel fearful or like you are resisting Life, try my Held practice below. It works every time.
PRACTICE: BEING HELD
If you have grass or nature near you do this in
nature. If not, lie down on a bed or on the floor.
Start to slow your breathing and notice the earth
(ground/bed) beneath you. Notice how it feels on your
back, bottom, feet, legs, neck, shoulders, head.
Notice how relaxed or tense your body is. How much you
are relying on your own strength, your muscles to hold
you up. Notice how tight or relaxed they are. Just notice.
Breathing in really deeply hold your breath and
squeeeeeeeeeeze every single muscle in your body.
Hold your breath for eight seconds… And let go…
As you release your breath, release every single ounce of
resistance in your body allowing the Earth to hold you in full.
Feel yourself getting heavier as you let go of control. Melt into
the Earth. Feel Her pulse. Allow the Mother to hold you in full.
See if you can feel the pulse of the Earth as She breathes
in and out – breathe with Her. Let Her breathe you. Drink
in Her nectar. Let Her cradle you back home to you.
RISE SISTER RISE
Do the above exercise in bed as soon as you wake up in the
morning and before you go to sleep. As you are doing it affirm:
‘I am willing to be held in full by the Mother and all of Life.’
LEADING FROM THE FEMININE
‘Woman has to understand her role. Her role is not
to worship God; Her role is to be the very self of God.
Her oneness can affect and open every heart.’
YOGI BHAJAN
To lead in this new age we can’t rely on our masculine reserves, or expect others to do the same just because we had to in our time. If we want to bring about a significant shift on the planet we must replace all-nighters with early-morning sadhana, fear with compassion, and stress with surrender.
This era of slogging it out has got to stop. When we push on through we are relying on our own strength; when we are relying on our own strength we are operating from our separate selves. When we are operating form our separate selves, we are resisting being in flow with the universal flow of Life. When we resist the Universal flow of Life, life is hard.
As women we are creators. Always giving birth to something new. The creative process is just that: A process. Filled with periods of time when you generate ideas, periods when you walk away from it, periods when you peel back the layers, periods when you want to throw in the towel, and periods when you share it to the world. In order for the juices to keep flowing, we must respect the ebbs and flows of doing, receiving and letting it be.
As I shared in an earlier chapter (see NO LONGER SUSTAINABLE) when my work started taking off, I found there weren’t enough hours in the day. I was reaching overwhelm and exhaustion at a rapid rate. Yet the fear of stopping and potentially missing out on opportunities that might never come back drove me to keep pushing on, enduring, thinking that it would eventually slow down. Six months in, there were no signs of that happening at all. Picking up on my rapidly approaching exhaustion, my intuition told me I needed to do three things, if I was going to create a life’s work not a season:
Halve my working hours.
Double my devotion.
Prioritize my personal life.
Now, at the time the part of me who prided herself on working hard and always pushing on through went into a panic. Who would I be without this identity? I used to blame the industry I was in (advertising) for my tendency to overwork. But there I was years later, overworked and exhausted. The common link was me.
I finally surrendered to the truth that I couldn’t keep going that way, reduced my hours and replaced the time with a cocktail of prayer and play instead. The less I worked, the more I actually got done. Time got stretchy.
The less time I had, the easier it was to say no. The more I said no, the more energy I had. The more energy I had, the more productive I was. The more productive I was, the more fulfilled I felt. The more I increased my devotion, the more support I received from the world around me. The more I played, the more aha moments I had and the more excited I got about showing up to work.
RISE SISTER RISE
How are you being called to lead from
a more feminine perspective?
A LIFE’S WORK, NOT A SEASON
Be committed to creating a life’s work, not a season. If you get overexcited and rush everything for fear of missing out, you run the risk of being a flash in the pan and fading away fast. Have the stamina to stay in the game. To do it for the devotion and pleasure alone. Create your art for life and your life for your art. Withstand the winds of time. Sustain the changing trends. Leave a legacy.
Respect the work of those who have come before you by creating you own unique thing. Create what you came here to create, not an appropriation of what others have already done. Drink deep from your roots of congruency. These are what will hold you through the seasons of your life.
Don’t rush the process. Allow your fruits of originality to ripen in their own sweet time, knowing there will always be plenty more where they came from. Don’t push yourself and dry out. Tend to your garden so that it is always fertile, so that you have new unique creations grow in your gardens each and every year. There is no race. There is no competition. Go steady and flourish. Commit to creating a life’s work, not a season.
RISE SISTER RISE
What needs to happen for you to create
a life’s work, not a season?
FILLING UP YOUR WELL
The most selfless thing you can do is fill up your own inner well. So many of us are running around half filled up. We subconsciously look to things around us to give us the nourishment and nurturing that we so crave. But the truth is no one can fill up your well but you.
You are no good to anyone if you’re running on empty. Nothing can grow in barren lands. The feminine is bountiful, fertile, and rich. Tend to your own well and watch as the amount you have to give to those around you multiplies.
If your well isn’t full you will find yourself craving things from the outside world to fill it. This is our body’s instinctual way of reaching for the grounding and nurturing that we are not allowing ourselves to receive. Addiction is the absence of the feminine. And if your feminine is absent, your inner well is parched.
If you ever have the delight of visiting the Chalice Well Gardens in Glastonbury, you will find the best visual metaphor for tending to your own inner well. Visualize it now if you like.
As you sit in the gardens, you are soothed by the soundtrack of the red springs bubbling from the depths of the Earth. Drawing its waters from the womb of the Great Mother. The red springs are so bountiful it feels like t
hey will never, ever run out. Flourishing, radiant, abundant, and eternal. There is more than enough to go around. Drinking these sacred waters, you can feel the water nourishing you as it works its way through your system.
The red springs are a metaphor for how we should all be living. We too have an inner well that’s as bountiful. We mustn’t just ration ourselves to what we need to survive. We must fill ourselves up until we overspill. And then offer some of that abundant plenty to those around us. The more overspilling your chalice, the more there is to go around.
What nourishes you? What refuels your body? What is nectar for your soul? What brings you back to life? What is your secret medicine? What makes you feel abundant and fertile?
It may be gardening, arranging flowers, getting a massage, using luxurious essential oils, snuggling up on the couch, hiking, sipping cacao, attending a woman’s circle or yin yoga.
What nourishes me is cooking soup from scratch, watching the ocean roll in, going to the movies, stretching on my heated tiles, spa breaks, intuitive dancing, chats with like-minded sisters, creating for creating’s sake, spontaneous bike rides, exploring somewhere new, visiting sacred sites…
What nourishes you is your medicine. When you give yourself the medicine that you need to nourish your soul, your soul nourishes all those around you.
RISE SISTER RISE
How full is your inner well now? Is it empty,
half full, full, or overspilling?
What needs to happen for it to be overspilling and full?
What nourishes you? Write a list of
Rise Sister Rise Page 10
