by S E Turner
'Well you should have thought about that before you slept with the devil and gave birth to that mutant.'
She grabbed on to him and her voice was low with fear. 'Please, Gnaeus, I am begging you.'
'Unhand me woman before I set the hounds on you.'
'Gnaeus, I implore you, I am your wife.'
'You are nothing to me. You are a devil who breeds devils. You have no place in this palace. You and that thing of yours discredit me and my dynasty. No man will ever want to father a child with that monster, and I will not support you or it any longer. Now go to the hills where you belong, live in the caves with other monsters, and find the savages that share your poison. I want you gone.' His look was enough to turn the warmest heart to stone, and she was dismissed with the wave of a hand.
She ran to her children's maid. 'Where do I go, Ariane? Please help me, I am desperate!'
'Empress Eujena, I am so sorry that I cannot help you when you have been so kind to me,' Ariane dropped her face despondently. 'All I can advise is that you go to the clans. There are many of them north of here. You cannot stay anywhere in Ataxata. The Emperor will find you and imprison you both, and anyone who shelters you will be at risk.'
'Will they accept my child?' her voice quivered.
Ariane nodded. 'You have no choice my lady. But Ajeya must never know the truth. You must never reveal to her what we know to be true.'
Eujena dipped her head in despair and nodded.
'To everyone who meets her, she was born like it. She must never know. No one must know.'
Eujena nodded again. 'She will never know from me.'
But Ariane knew that this secret concealed further danger because the clans had strong beliefs about devils and believed that disfigured children were possessed by them. Sadly, as the mother, Eujena would be viewed just as warily, for together they could bring double the bad luck to the colony.
Ariane sighed heavily and took Eujena's hands. 'Keep to the west, ma'am, follow the streams and creeks that lead to the sea, and then go north. The weather will be gentler there. The setting sun will be your guide and the moon your friend. Food will be plentiful, and soon you will find refuge in a clan.'
That night Eujena woke up screaming. She bolted upright; stark terror charged through her veins, pounding in her temples and racing against her heart. She stared ahead at the imaginary shapes in front of her. A sharp crack made her jump and the following flash of light lit up her surroundings. She heard a tree split seconds after and felt the shudder as it fell to the ground. She pulled up her knees and sat there, hugging them close to her chest, warm tears running down her face. Darkness filled the void for several minutes where she was left alone with her thumping breast and nauseous sense of unease. Another bright shaft followed by a loud roar momentarily lit up the pitch of night, giving her one last glimpse of her life before she was banished forever. She pulled the sheet over her tiny frame and buried her tear-stained face beneath it. The thunder began to roll away and rumbled over the hills as dawn brought a misty morning and an overwhelming grief.
She hadn't left when the Emperor had demanded. She couldn't leave her son and was too scared to venture out on her own. Now she had no choice—the Emperor had sent armed guards to escort her off the premises. Ariane had smuggled a few provisions to the desperate young woman, before the guards had got to her—some fresh meat, bread, apples and a sharpened dagger secured in a sheath.
'You will be needing these my lady. May the gods look out for you and may the guides protect you both.'
'Thank you, Ariane, thank you. I will never forget your kindness.'
Eujena kissed the maid on both cheeks, and as the approaching guards marched down the corridor, Ariane rushed off before she could be punished for fraternising with the enemy. Eujena wrapped a shawl around her child and hurried out into the courtyard. Feeling burning eyes on her back, she turned and looked up to the bedroom window. Cornelius was standing there. She smiled and blew him a kiss. A thin smile was returned. He held up his hand then disappeared from view.
Chapter Two
Birds filled the early morning with a chorus of twittering, chirping, and loud raucous calls. A world of green still wet from the storm, glittered in the morning sun. A hazy mist rose up from the plains and the air felt fresh and clean. A far cry from the stagnant air in the city, she decided fairly early on. It was early spring, and the young woman travelled west with her daughter, crossing many walkways until she reached a large flat plain, then she veered north. She found herself travelling most of the day with the child holding her hand, or she bundled her up into a sling and carried her on her back. She had to count her blessings, she thought. She was still alive, her daughter was still alive and they hadn't faced the hungry hounds or been imprisoned in the dungeons.
They didn't really need much food to begin with as the meat kept them full, and she found it fun searching for ripe berries with her daughter, turning it into a game and seeing who could collect the most fruit.She always let Ajeya win to keep her spirits up. Eujena found that she could turn up roots and dig out bulbs, which satisfied a growing appetite, and alongside the leaves, berries and flowers, they seldom went hungry.
However, the furore of instant freedom and gratification soon disappeared, and those first few weeks that started as a game became extremely hard going and challenging. Ajeya cried constantly and Eujena had to carry her most of the time. The ground was hard-packed and matted with old growth; so her blistered feet, not used to walking on such rough terrain, began to bleed. Finally, the rations that Ariane gave her ran out. Scavenging for roots and berries, leaves and shoots, quelled a ravenous appetite, but she knew it wouldn't sustain them for the long trek that lay ahead.
After a few days, she felt a change in the weather. The wind picked up pace and she saw the sky turn black with storm clouds. The rumble of thunder wasn't too far away, and she had to run into the thick of a forest for protection. The rain began to fall softly at first, almost kissing her face with warm gentle drops, but as she hurried into the safety of the glen, the heavens opened, and she fell under a natural canopy where she sat it out and waited for the bombardment of the storm to pass.
A sharp crack made her jump and the following flash of light lit up her claustrophobic surroundings. She heard a tree split and felt the shudder as it fell to the ground. She pulled her child close and sat there hugging her tightly while warm tears and cold rain ran down her face in droves.
Within a matter of hours, her safe refuge had turned into a morass of devastation where upturned trees had been ripped from the ground, and waterlogged trunks and broken branches littered her path. It now looked completely different, and as she tried to find her way out, she found herself trudging amongst a cobweb of trees. Every sodden branch, leaf, and sapling slapped her in the face or caught her by the sleeve and tried to hold her back. An arduous task proved even more difficult as she tried desperately to fight her way through the enormous dense forest, for now it was a vast maze of muddy narrow tracks and passageways, hindered by corridors of wet bracken, limp foliage and stinging brambles.
She looked to the sky and saw the birds of prey circling beyond the horizon. The deluge had forced the small animals from their burrows, and now was the perfect time to hunt. Perhaps if I follow them, they will lead me out of here, for they must be hunting in the open plains. She lifted her weary child on to her back and made another concerted effort.
Pushing through the matted undergrowth with Ajeya hanging on for dear life was difficult enough but tackling the sodden path as well slowed her down considerably. Undeterred, she continued to push through the thicket with slow consecutive steps. Every now and then, a small creature skittered away as her feet disturbed them. They always spooked her and made her jump. A wood pigeon or grouse was panicked into flight and that made her scream out loud. She tried to control her emotions for the sake of her child, and she hoped she had nodded off on her back. The glade was now becoming all too familiar at every turn. Trees
, boulders, bushes, they all bore the same resemblance, and she started to panic. Was she going round in circles? Did she trust her own instincts?
Ajeya buried her head into her mother's hair and instantly felt safe. She didn't once doubt her decisions or her navigational skills, and she never flinched or felt unsettled. She knew her mother was strong and intelligent, stoic and resourceful, and would never let harm come her way. So there she curled, quietly and resolutely, until finally the trees and vegetation began to thin out, and the welcome sight of the wide plains opened up before them.
Eujena soon grew tired of her nebulous world. Tired of travelling, tired of the monotony of the plains, tired of the unrelenting weather and the sores on her feet. Living on shoots and berries began to have a disastrous effect, and Eujena found herself sleeping for long periods at different times of the day. She slept very badly and found herself waking at all hours, and when she did get a deep sleep, she was troubled by bad dreams and always awoke feeling abominable and listless.
I should have let Gnaeus kill me back there, she thought to herself often. Even a slow agonising death would have been preferable to this.
They had been walking for many weeks now. Sometimes it was a fairly quick pace but, with Ajeya on her back, that proved to be exhausting. Then she developed painful sores on her shoulders as well, so mostly they just shuffled along at a very slow pace and didn't cover any distance at all. She began to wonder if her destiny was to roam these uninhabited lands forever, never finding her salvation or a safe place to stay, until the day that death came knocking on her door.
Totally disorientated and having lost her bearings, her fruitless search for the colonies cast a constant shadow of fear and worry on the young woman. She was tired and hungry, her lips were chapped, her eyes were sore, and her throat was always dry and parched. As she lowered her child to the ground, she closed her gritty eyes and quickly succumbed to the effects of exhaustion.
She dreamed of a better place where estuaries were flanked by paths and fields, grottos and glades, and the radiant gleam of the rising sun breached the horizon. She saw wooded flanks of foothills, and far reaching steppes under the glare of the sun. There was a narrow canyon following a path of boulders, and jagged rock faces edged with bearded moss and swaying trees. She saw the sun winking on the surface of a waterfall, and that made her smile.
A large raven came into view from beyond the clouds. It glided down majestically on black seraph wings and settled itself on the ground. It looked down and pecked at something by its claws. There wasn't much there, so she held out a hand and beckoned it closer.
'Come here,' she said in her dream. 'I won't hurt you. I have some very tasty berries if you are hungry.'
The bird cocked its head and blinked. It ruffled its feathers. The berries did indeed look very tempting. It strutted towards her and began to peck, softly at first, but then she felt a stab of pain, then another. It became unbearable as the bird got more agitated and impatient for food. She felt it tearing her fingers. She felt blood. The pain was sharp and intense. She cried out loud.
Opening her eyes, she saw a bird of prey digging into her flesh, and as she struck out, it swooped over to take Ajeya, who was standing at the edge of a precipice. Within seconds, Eujena had thrown herself onto her daughter, screaming at the scavenger. Her heart was thumping, and her parched throat suddenly got even drier. The shriek had taken every last ounce of energy. She didn't let Ajeya go until she was sure it was safe. Only then did she slowly sit up, and trembling fearfully, hold her child close.
She stroked her daughter's hair and brushed her face. 'I'm so sorry, my darling,' she whispered tearfully. 'I have been so tired and clumsy recently. I haven't thought any of this out properly at all.' She hugged her child and closed her eyes and wished for a better life for them both. Ajeya hugged her back, and as she looked over her daughter's shoulders, she saw it. She had to shield her eyes from the glare of the sun but down below, a ravine was dancing in the shallows.
There was a river of sparkling water flanked on both sides by trees and bushes, and a gorge of rocky cliffs opening out into a sheltered valley full of growth. It was her dream, it was her vision. She could now see clearly—this was her path. This river would provide them with everything they needed.
'Ariane told me to follow the rivers,' she said to Ajeya with renewed vigour. 'She told me they would keep us alive.'
Eujena got to her feet, and taking her daughter's hand, led her down the path to the pulsating rapids where they could see a river full of fresh clean water surrounded by a land burgeoning with life
Chapter Three
Their camp was a shallow stone bowl, cut deep into the hilltop overlooking the river, where they huddled together and watched the birds of prey feast on a gourmet of nature's offerings. As the sprouting herbs and grasses tempted burrowing voles, shrews, mice, rabbits, and snakes from their nests, so the great buzzards, kites and eagles began to gorge. If they could feast on small animals, then surely she could as well.
She would make a trap to catch them and build a fire to cook them and get more sustenance that way. By watching the area carefully, she could see the path that the animals took. She made a snare by using the stringy fibres from the milkweed plant, tied it to a small sapling, and left a noose with some bait inside. She soon discovered that by catching her own game, the food was plentiful, and finding wood for the fire was painless. Though getting the fire started was close to impossible, and many times, she felt like giving up and wept into the sunset.
Then she remembered her young son Cornelius enthusing over a lesson where he had been taught how to make flames using a fire drill and a hearth—as the stick spins, an ember is formed, dried moss is added to create fuel, and fire is the result.
But it was not that easy; her hands were red raw by spinning the fire drill between her palms, and it kept slipping on the wooden platform. It wasn't long before they began to bleed, and she had to stop with the pain.
She ripped a section of her long dress to bandage them and looking at the little girl who relied on her for survival, she kept going beyond the agony. Eujena soon got into the rhythm of the movement, ignoring the sweat that formed on her brow and ran down into her eyes. Her hands were needed to keep the momentum going; even a second delay could mean failure.
With the continual movement, the hole deepened and sawdust from the soft wood accumulated. She smelled the woodsmoke and saw the notch blacken, and then she saw a wisp of smoke. That vision fuelled her. Even though her palms were bleeding and her arms ached all over, she could not give up now. With more glows and more smoke, she held her head parallel to the hearth and began to blow on it. She watched it grow brighter with each breath she exhaled and die down as she inhaled. She added tiny bits of shaved curls and continued to blow. Then a spark grew from out of the hearth which turned into a small flame. She blew harder, fed it more fuel, and when it had taken hold, she added a few splints of kindling wood, adding larger pieces of driftwood when it had established itself.
As she watched her man-made giant rise into the air, it ignited a dormant emotion in her, a surge like nothing she had ever known before. She had accomplished something that had seemed unfeasible, almost unfathomable, practically impossible. But she had done it, on her own, with sheer determination, and the satisfaction spilled out in a loud cry of supreme elation.
At that moment, in a lonely valley in the middle of nowhere, somewhere between the north and south territories, a young woman stood with her child by her side and she knew she could survive. She had ridden the storm and she had provided food and warmth. She knew that she was powerful; she knew she had the strength.
She stood up and danced, taking Ajeya by the hands and skipping round the flames, shouting, singing, praising the gods, thanking the spirits. The fire roared, the flames soared: yellow, orange, blue, magnificent, powerful, strong like her. She raised her arms to the skies to give thanks. Ajeya span around in circles. They were both drunk on happiness; t
hey had both found their strength. And that night they feasted on succulent rabbit, seared to perfection, and slept soundly with a belly full of food.
They didn't stay long in one place. They kept moving and by keeping close to the streams, they always had clean water to drink, fresh meat to eat and the plants and roots gave them a rich and varied diet. Eujena had now learned to take a variety of fish out of the rivers with wide mesh baskets made of cattail leaves, alder branches, and cords made from stringy bark. She could gut them easily with the dagger that she had been given, and by doing this on frequent occasions, the fish provided them with a rich source of nutrition.
Survival, she surmised, was not so much about equipment; it was more about foresight and knowledge and making as much use of nature's harvest as possible.
She hadn't fully realised how constrained her life had been until she had tasted freedom; how dull and constricted it had become: answerable to only men without any voice of her own, relying on servants for her every whim, learning about her children's progress from a tutor or a maid. Her hardest decision was what she should wear that day. And yes, this journey had been like climbing a perilous mountain at times, with the wind and the rain beating down against her, exposing her to all types of disturbing sounds and hidden dangers. But through it all, she embraced this new life.
She liked the challenge of making her own decisions, selecting her own food and choosing her own path; following the rivers and using the sun and moon as a guide. It was as if she had found the real person inside her soul, a person who could adapt and provide, who could face her fears and overcome danger. She seemed to quickly forget the life she had been born into, and soon, nothing from that life, apart from her child, was important to her.
