He kisses me tenderly. “Okay, but only for tonight. We’re going to need to work through the past to have a positive future,
babe. I can’t let you go again.”
Needing to shut him up, I lift my head off the bed and kiss him. I kiss him with force as I slip
my hand behind his neck, using it to keep him against me.
Again, I wrap my legs around him, but I pull my mouth away from his. “Get your clothes off,” I order.
Cole chuckles. “So very demanding,” he whispers as he stands and begins to unbutton his black vest. After taking it off, he goes to unbutton his white shirt, but I sit up and begin to do it for him.
One by one, I pop the buttons free until he finally takes it off. Damn, he is so fit, and his abs are perfect, all six of them, and his tan accentuates them.
Leaning forward, I kiss his stomach as I reach for his belt and unbuckle it. When I have his suit pants unzipped, I push them down. Cole steps out of them, and stands before me wearing only a pair of black boxer briefs, but before I have a chance to take them off him, he gathers the sides of my dress in his hands and slips it up, and I help him by raising my arms.
When the dress hits the floor, I’m left wearing my bra and tiny black panties. Taking my hands in his, Cole uses them to pull me to my feet until I’m standing in front of him.
As I press my lips to his, my tongue running over the length of his, he reaches back and undoes my bra. It’s gone quickly, and just as
fast, my panties are gone and I’m standing naked, with Cole’s arms wrapped around me.
Again, he lays me out on the bed, and I scoot myself up until my head is resting on a pillow. Looking down, I watch as he presses a tender kiss to my stomach and moves up, kissing my bare skin until he reaches the valley between my breasts. I hold my breath in anticipation. I keep watching as his mouth closes over my nipple, and as it does my back arches, moving closer so he can take in more. I can feel how wet I am as Cole’s hardness rubs against me. A moan leaves my lips when I feel his tongue tease the peak. I need him inside me, now.
“Fuck me, Cole,” I beg.
As he looks up at me, his mouth moving to the other nipple, leaving the one he’d been licking wet, I see a hint of a smile. Yes, Cole and I used to break all the rules when it came to being intimate, but we never went all the way. Now that I had the chance, I didn’t want to die without having that experience just once, because I know I’d forever regret it.
Reaching down, I grab the waistband of his
briefs and push them down. As I do, he helps me and kicks them off.
“Shit, I don’t have any condoms,” he tells me, and as he does, I can see that he’s
utterly devastated.
“It’s okay, I’m on the pill,” I assure him.
Immediately, his smile is back in place, and when he comes back to me, my eyes roll into the back of my head as I feel his length rub against my now throbbing clit. As he comes in to kiss me, it’s almost too much to handle. I love the feel of him, so hard, so thick.
Cole hovers over me and his sexy lips leave mine and work their way down my chest, over my stomach, to my core. With that first flick of his tongue, my hips raise so much from sheer pleasure, he slips his arm over my stomach to keep me in place as he licks between my folds.
As I feel the pressure build, he slips a finger inside me, and I call out, “No, I want to come with you inside me.”
Cole’s eyes bore into mine. “We have all night, and I don’t plan on letting you sleep.” He then goes back to dipping his fingers inside me. As he does, his tongue darts out and teases my clit, and that’s the end of me.
The waves begin to crash and every muscle
in my body tenses, my breath ceasing as I take it in and enjoy the pleasure as my body convulses under his touch.
The moment I have my breath back, Cole kisses up my stomach, between my breasts.
When his lips reach mine, I decide it’s time I took control.
Grabbing his shoulders, I push Cole until he’s lying on his back. As he watches me, I climb on top of him, straddling his lap.
While I look down at Cole, I take a moment to rub myself against his girth. As I do, I see his chest move up and down as his breathing quickens.
Reaching down, I take him in my hand, pumping him a couple of times before I raise my body just enough to be able to slide myself over him. As I do, my eyes close and I take a second to revel in the moment I’d been dreaming about for so very long.
My body tenses from the pleasure and the stimulation. Finally, I open my eyes, and when I do, I see that Cole is staring up at me in a loving manner. This isn’t just sex for him, this is something he’s also longed for, and it makes me appreciate him all the more.
Resting my hands on his chest, I steady myself as I begin to rock on him, quickly I manage to find my rhythm.
Cole grabs onto my ass, and when he does,
he thrusts upwards, burying himself deep inside me, my mouth forms a big O when he does.
While lost in the sensation, Cole sits himself up, and as he does his lips crash onto mine, his kiss is desperate.
As I continue to move myself over him, Cole slides his hands up my back until he has taken hold of my shoulders. He thrusts up inside me while pulling me down, and as he does, a moan leaves my chest and I begin to pant. “Shit, yes,” I breathe. “More,” I demand.
“Anything you want,” he tells me, sounding utterly breathless as he does as he’s told. He continues to slam into me, over and over again, until I can’t take it for another moment. I begin to cry out as my walls tighten around him.
“Yes, shit. Fuck me. Yes,” I cry, and as I do, I feel his muscles tense and I know he’s about to come too.
Cole pulls me down one last time and stays buried inside me. His body begins to jolt as he keeps me close.
Leaning in, I lick his neck, something he used to love. As I do, his grip tightens again and although I know I’m going to have bruises on my skin tomorrow, I simply don’t care.
Resting my head on his shoulder, my
breathing is laboured, but I feel Cole’s muscles begin to relax. He is very satisfied and it’s something I take pride in. I’ve satisfied him, something I’ve dreamt about doing for such a long time.
“I know you’re still working through things, but I need you to know that I love you, Mia,”
he whispers as he plants a kiss on my cheek.
Stumped for words, all I can do is kiss him. Of course, I feel bad because I can’t bring myself to say the words to him. I have always, and I will always, love him, but I know that if I utter those three words and he then up and disappears from my life, it will rip me in half. So, for now, I’ll avoid the subject the best I can.
When we managed to pull ourselves apart, I ask Cole to order us some room service. My mouth is dry, and I need a Coke to quench my thirst.
When the call’s been made, Cole and I both pull on the white robes provided by the hotel and snuggle up on the bed, facing one another. “I know tonight isn’t over, but I want to thank you for agreeing to spend time with me. I’ve missed you so damn much and I know I promised we wouldn’t get into the past just yet, but I want to know where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing for the last six years. No matter how
many times I asked your mum, Matt, and Leah about you, not one of them would utter a word. They told me you’d banned them from mentioning my name around you…why? Why did you hate me so much that you couldn’t even hear my name mentioned?” Cole asks as he reaches up and rests his hand on my cheek.
“I could never hate you. I just thought it would be easier to move past you if I didn’t know anything about you, or your life. I left that night because I’d heard you’d been set up on a blind date by your parents. It hurt, but the part
that truly pushed me over the edge was when I was told you stayed, that you didn’t just up and leave. If the situation had been reversed, I wouldn’t have cared what anyone thought of
me. You were forever putting your parent’s opinion of you ahead of my feelings. It was the last straw.” And it was. Even thinking back to that night is still far too much for me to take in. He’d hurt me more than I ever thought was imaginable, and I can feel tears beginning to well in the corners of my eyes as I remember it now.
“Oh, baby girl. Please don’t cry. I can’t handle seeing you cry. I’m so sorry for what happened, but there is a part that you were never told about that happened that same night,” he whispers as he leans in to kiss me
again, before pulling away to look at me.
“And what’s that?”
“That night, when my parents set me up on that ‘date,’ I told them that I no longer cared what they thought and that their reputation meant nothing to me. The very second my mother told me that she and my father didn’t want me to be with you, I
decided I was going to walk away from them, the family home, and the religion, but I did feel bad for the girl they’d brought along. She had no idea what was going on and I didn’t want her to feel used, so I stayed, although I told her all about you. I told her how I wasn’t going to let my parents dictate my life for a moment longer. Fortunately, she understood, and soon after, I up and left.”
My eyes widen with shock. “Are you screwing with me?” Please say, no. If this is all true, then I may have just missed out on six years of happiness. Why wouldn’t Matt have told me the rest of the story? If I knew all of this, yes, I may still have left because I didn’t want to deal with his parents, but I would have asked Cole to come with me. I would have found a way to make it work.
Cole
Staring at this perfect creature, I shake my head. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Mia. That very night I went back to the house, packed a few belongings, and left, never to return. Over the years, I’ve had some contact with my mother, but my father has never forgiven me, and I can’t see that changing anytime soon. That man is the bane of my existence.
After everything that happened and how I spoke to him that night, he still hasn’t been
able to forgive me. But I never looked back. I moved into a small apartment and began building my now very successful business, all the while searching high and low for you, but you’d done a brilliant job covering your tracks. Not one day has passed that I haven’t thought about you, about us. I have everything I could ever need, however the one thing missing from that perfect picture, has always been you. Everything I’ve done and accomplished was for you, in the hopes that you would one day walk back into my life. I want to grow old with you, I want to have a family with you. I
don’t care where it happens and I don’t care where we live, because I know it would be perfect. You are the missing puzzle piece to my happiness. I want this to be the first night of the rest of our lives, babe. I want to be able to lay beside
you each night, and I want you to be the first person I see each and every morning. My love for you has never faded, and I’ll never again let someone else’s opinion or reputation get in the way.” She needs to know the details from that night, so she has all the information. I will be as brutally honest as I can be, at least when it comes to our relationship. There are a few secrets I must keep to myself for the moment. I know I can’t keep them to myself forever, but I won’t scare her away now. Not now that I have her in my bed.
“Why, why wasn’t I told about this? It could have changed everything?”
Taking a deep breath, I let it go before answering. “That night, I was a mess. I was desperate to get away and I didn’t have time to tell Matt everything. Before I had the chance to sit down with him and give him all of the details, you’d already left. Matt screamed at me when I gave him all the info because he knew it was too late. He knew you’d shut him out if he tried to talk about me, and he didn’t want to lose you as a friend. Yes, I understood his reasoning, but I was still devastated over the whole situation. One sentence that wasn’t uttered was the reason our lives moved in opposite directions. One fucking sentence, Mia.” The initial pain I felt when I’d found out she was
gone, is bubbling to the surface, my stomach twisting in knots, and I see a tear escape and fall down her cheek.
“I just can’t believe it. At the time, the decision felt right. I knew at the beginning of our relationship that we’d need to keep things quiet, but as the time passed and the whispers began, it felt like I was being hurt on a daily basis. You cared so much about other people’s opinions, in the end you treated me like a second-class citizen. The filthy looks I received from you when there were Witnesses around stabbed me to my very core, and I began to believe that I
wasn’t worth you taking the risk for. And then there were the times you’d pull Leah aside and tell her to tell me I wasn’t permitted to look in your direction, only to later show up at my house and act like nothing had ever happened. I know I let it go on many occasions because I’d keep telling myself I’d willingly signed up for a secret relationship, but as my love for you grew it became so much harder to deal with. For a minute, one minute, I believed that maybe you didn’t love me anywhere close to what you’d told me, and in that minute I was broken. I even went as far as to think that maybe it was just your hormones telling you you loved me, and that my letting you feel me up made you believe
there was something more in your heart than there truly was.” I can hear that she’s trying her best to hold back her emotions.
It kills me to know that I’d hurt her so much back then. I know I didn’t handle things all that well when I was a teen, and I’d hurt her on many occasions thanks to the fact that I thought it was important to keep my family’s reputation intact, but never, not for one moment, did
it cross my mind that she’d think I didn’t love her, or that I was only loving towards her in private because we were somewhat intimate back then. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am for treating you that way back
then. I’m so sorry it hurt you when I’d ignore you when we were surrounded by a bunch of asshole Jehovah’s Witnesses. I need you to know that I did love you, and I did love you for the right reasons and not just because you let me be intimate with you. I fucked up on so many occasions. Looking back on my asshole ways, I should thank you for not kicking me to the curb sooner. I cannot, in good conscience, say I didn’t deserve you dumping me and leaving the way you did, I was such an ass.” It’s not something I’ve really thought about over the years. I obviously have a hell of a lot of grovelling to do to try and make up for my past indiscretions.
“Do you remember what happened the week before I left?” she asks, her voice now so low I can tell she’s still hurting.
Thinking back, I wrack my brain, trying and remember what happened the week prior to her leaving.
“I remember, we were over at Matt’s?” I ask and she nods.
“Do you remember the Friday night? Because you hurt me that night, too?”
“You’re going to have to remind me. It’s been six years, babe,” I admit.
“Well, on the Friday, I called to ask you if you wanted to come over. I hadn’t seen you in two weeks other than at the Hall because
you kept making plans to go out with the other witnesses. When I called, it felt like I was wasting your time, because you said, and I quote, ‘I’m going out with Mark, Michael, and a few others from the congregation, and that I wasn’t invited because you ‘didn’t’ not ‘couldn’t,’ you ‘didn’t’ want to be seen with me. You then told me you were in a hurry and you hung up the phone on me. That night, I cried myself to sleep. Hell, I was so devastated I couldn’t even hear my parents fighting over my sobs. For weeks leading up to that night, you'd put me on the back burner. I was there as your plaything when you could
finally fit me in between your nights out with everyone else on the planet but me. I knew something was very wrong because you even stopped texting me goodnight, after you’d already stopped messaging me throughout the day. I believed we were on our last legs. I knew something was going on, something y
ou didn’t feel was important enough to let me in on. I was an afterthought by that stage and then there was Saturday.” She pauses for a moment so she can take a breather, I don’t dare disturb her. As much as I don’t want to hear the rest of what she has to say because I already feel like I’m the biggest prick on the planet, I feel she needs to get it out. We can’t move forward until she’s gotten everything off her chest, and I need to let her do that in her own time.
Mia sniffs, and when she’s regained her breath, she continues, “On the Saturday, I was sitting in your lap as we watched a movie, and everything felt okay, but the very instant you heard the front door open when Matt’s parents had returned early, you literally threw me across the room. I fell onto the floor with a thud on my hip, and the pain was excruciating, hence why I left so abruptly. My hip was so badly bruised my mother had to take me to the doctors the next day. And what made the whole
situation worse was the fact that I’d walked home from Matt’s that night and I was in agony. It was after ten o’clock and you didn’t bother to get into your car, or even call me to make sure I got home safely. Shit, I had to lie to my own parents and tell them I’d fallen playing basketball, because if I’d told them the truth, my dad would have kicked your ass. That weekend was one of the worst of my life.” She sniffs as her tears now flow from her eyes. “And despite how much time has passed, it hurts just as much now as it did back then.” Sniff. “You hurt me so much, I didn’t think I’d be able to continue living. I felt used and worthless. I felt I didn’t deserve to be loved because of your actions. I’ve never been able to have a proper relationship with anyone because I
keep thinking I’m not worth taking a chance on, and all I’m good for is for guys to fuck and dump. I’m a joke when it comes to relationships. Anyone can tell me they love me, but I always have it in my mind that it simply won’t last past them getting what they want from me. I haven’t been in a relationship in over four years because I didn’t see the point. I just figured I was doomed to die alone. I still feel that way, and I doubt it will ever change.”
Happy Never After Page 6
