Same thing she’d said about the swim scholarship. Same thing she’d said about the job in New York. Her parents had always supported her, encouraged her to try but then, at least for her mom’s part, had seemed surprised when she actually succeeded. Like it was safe to tell her to try because she didn’t think she’d actually make it.
She bent to kiss her mother’s cheek. “And hey, you and Daddy have always wanted to travel. If I do get it, I could be your home base as you two gallivant over Europe.”
“Your dad can’t make such a long flight.”
“Ah, Nance, come on, now. I’ll be fit as a fiddle in no time.”
Leave it to her dad to insert the positivity. “I probably won’t even get it, so you don’t need to get upset about it. I’ll get your water, Daddy.” With her cane and her hand out, she went to the kitchen as fast as she could, wishing more than ever that she was home, in her own apartment, where she could walk swiftly and freely without having to feel for every cautious step.
“I have a riding lesson at three, if that’s okay.”
“Sure.” Her mother was pouting. She could hear it in her voice.
And if Luke was there, she’d just avoid him. Or not avoid him. She didn’t need to avoid him. She’d be perfectly pleasant.
It was almost four when Luke stopped by the barn on his way home from the lumber yard. The clouds off to the West were dark and there was a flash of lightning. A spring storm he thought, pulling to a stop in front of the barn. He’d just make sure Hannah didn’t need help with the horses before heading to the cabin. The thought of a cold beer on the porch as the rain blew by held more than a little appeal.
A gust of wind whipped his T-shirt and hair as he stepped out of his truck. He made his way through the open doors just as there was another flash followed by a deep rumble of thunder. Closer now.
As soon as he stepped inside the barn he saw her. Ava stood just outside the barn doors at the opposite end so that the dark square of barn wood framed her silhouette in the outside light. Her hair was held by a band at the base of her neck but the wind blew wisps of it around her face. He tried to ignore the quick stir of excitement he felt at the prospect of seeing her again.
Moving toward her, he passed two horses standing in the aisle, saddled and ready, their lead ropes tied to rings on the wall. Odd, he thought, then heard his sister’s voice in the office. From the one-sided conversation he could make out, she was talking to a prospective client.
He watched Ava a moment, her face lifted to the sky. A second later, a crack of lightning struck followed by a boom of thunder close enough to shake his bones. When Ava didn’t move to come in he strode toward her.
“Hey. You looking to get struck by lightning?”
She only smiled, not turning toward him. “Feels good.”
He stood beside her, felt the distinct downdraft of cooler air preceding a storm.
“I like the rain,” he said.
The thunder rolled again, no closer than the last one.
“Do you think it’s going to rain?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s what I’m waiting on. It’s been a really long time since it rained.”
Come to think of it, she was right. But that didn’t explain what she was doing. “Are you doing some sort of experiment? Collecting rain samples?”
“No. I just told you. I like the rain. I like to feel it on my face.”
He leaned back against the doorway, crossed his arms over his chest and just looked at her. God, she was beautiful. Wild now, with her hair flying around her face, not tame or innocent as he’d thought the first time he’d seen her.
And damn it. He had no business starting anything up with Ava. Didn’t even know what he was thinking of starting. It’d been so long since he’d had even the most casual relationship. Really, it had been a long time since he’d had anything at all with a woman.
“I try to imagine what it might look like but it’s hard. I try to imagine what it looks like falling. What it’s shaped like.”
What could he tell her? He didn’t know that he’d ever thought about it enough to describe it. But he could describe her. Oval shaped face, wide forehead completely exposed now with the hair blown back. He’d like to catch all that flying hair, hold it in his fist. It looked so silky, so free.
“So, do you think it will rain?”
The question pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked at the sky. “I don’t know. Might be toying with us, circling around.” He knocked his cap against his thigh. He wanted to say something else, he just didn’t know what it was.
He looked down his hat and smiled. “I have a hat now.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah. Not a cowboy hat, just a… you know. A regular hat.”
“That’s good. Keeps the sun off.”
“It does.” He zeroed in on a piece of hair that had fallen from her elastic band and hung over her cheek. He wanted to touch her, just to brush his hand over her cheek.
“I think it’s moving away,” she said, her disappointment clear. “I can feel a breeze, the warmth of the sun. Falling snow, which I love. But my favorite is feeling the rain. Oh, well.”
He looked to his right, saw the dark clouds dissipating. He would have brought it back if he could. “Sorry.”
“That’s okay.”
“Is this something you do often? Stand outside, waiting for rain?”
“Depends what you consider often. Seems like it rains more in New York. And maybe I don’t need to stand in the rain so much there.”
“And you need to stand in it here?”
She blew out a breath. “I need to breathe. It’s harder to breathe here. Back under my parents worrying eyes. And no, I can’t see the worry, but I hear it. I can feel it. I have limitations, I know that. They’re just glaringly apparent here. Makes me feel less capable, more blind, if that makes sense. Or maybe just makes me feel like a child.”
“Funny.”
“Really?” She slid her unseeing eyes in his direction then back to the horizon. “Happy to amuse you.”
“No, not funny like that. Just funny because… I guess I’d say the same. Hannah, my brothers, they look at me like I’m one step from the edge. Kinda makes me want to go over, just to piss them off.”
Of course Gary thinks it’s in my head. Maybe it is. He wondered what Ava would say to that. “You don’t do that,” he said.
“I don’t do what?”
“You don’t look at me like that.”
She smiled over. “I don’t look at you at all because I can’t see you.”
“Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s not. You don’t see me, but you look.”
There was some kind of electricity in the air that had nothing to do with the storm. He felt it every time he was within three feet of this woman. But there was also a tension and he wanted to be rid of it. “You still mad at me?”
“What?” She swung her face to his. “When was I mad at you?”
He gave her a look, quickly realized that wouldn’t help her memory and sighed. Damn he talked a lot around her. “Couple days ago. Tack room.”
“Right.” Ava let out a suffering breath and groaned. “Can we please not talk about it?”
“Sure. After you answer my question.”
“Fine. No. I’m not mad. I was embarrassed. Okay? I didn’t see… I couldn’t see to know…” She sighed, shook her head. “I misread. Not the first time and I was more mad at myself than at you.”
“Because you thought I was going to kiss you.”
Her head whipped around to his again, her eyes wide. “Oh, my gosh! Please!”
He took a step closer. “If that’s what you thought, you didn’t misread.” He touched her hair, just a dance of his fingers down the strands blowing over her cheek. “I’d say you read it just right.”
Her mouth opened, closed. It might have been funny, the way they both stood there not knowing what to say next. Might have been, if his heart wasn�
��t beating so damn hard.
“Hey, Ava!”
Ava and Luke both turned at the sound of Hannah’s voice.
“Hey, Luke. Didn’t know you were here.”
“Yeah. Just stopped by to see if you needed any help.” He pointed to the sky. “Thought it might rain.”
“Thanks, that was sweet. We thought it might rain too.”
“Looks like the storm’s passing,” Ava said.
“Yeah, that’s just what I was coming say. I think so too, but I checked in with the sitter to see if she could stay longer. She can’t.”
“Oh.” A shadow of disappointment fell over Ava’s face. “Well, that’s okay. Another time.”
“I’m really sorry,” Hannah said, touching her shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it.”
Luke looked back at the saddled horses and put two and two together. He could volunteer to watch his nephew. Or…
“I can take her.”
Both women swung their faces to him. His sister’s eyes were wide, her brows raised.
“What? You guys had a ride planned, right? I can ride. I’ll take her.”
“That’s okay,” Ava said. “Really. We can just do it another time.” Her face was still a picture of regret as if he hadn’t just offered to fill in.
“Will your brother be able to pick you up earlier?” Hannah asked Ava.
“I’m sure he will. I’ll call him.”
Annoyed, Luke lifted his hands. “Am I invisible here?”
Hannah stared at him. “You’re serious.”
“Of course I’m serious.”
“Okay. Well…Ava, are you good with that?”
“I guess.” She looked at him, seemed be looking right at him this time. “If you’re sure you don’t have—”
“I don’t. Let’s go.” He was done with the back and forth. He moved to untie Newman and started leading him down the aisle. Hannah and Ava did the same with Hannah’s horse, Winnie.
When they got to the end of the aisle and outside, Hannah paused with the reins and waited for Ava to mount up. “Winnie’s a good girl. Sure-footed and dependable. She’ll do whatever you ask,” she said, giving her filly a pat on the neck as Ava took the reins. “And Newman, he’s a good boy but he may get antsy if there’s more thunder.”
Luke put one foot in the stirrup then swung his leg over. He’d done a little riding as a boy at camp and at his uncle’s. He’d done a lot more since coming here. He wasn’t worried. At least not about himself. But as Hannah handed him the lead rope attached to Ava’s horse he felt the weight of responsibility.
No turning back now.
13
They rode several minutes in silence. Nothing but the plodding steps of the horses and the creaking every time he adjusted himself in the saddle. He didn’t know what had possessed him to do this. Except he hadn’t been ready to go get that beer and sit on his porch. Alone.
Because it wasn’t going to rain, he told himself. That’s why his great idea had shifted to going for a ride.
“I told my parents about the job.”
“Ah. Italy.” Luke peered at the ground in front of Winnie, scanning for any potential obstacles. “How’d they take it?”
“Not good.”
“What is it about family that can make you feel so damn guilty?”
“They definitely have a knack for it,” Ava said. “Maybe I push back more because I’ve always been too aware of their concern and maybe they hold on tighter because I push.
“Being here, around people constantly trying to help me… It’s just hard to pretend I have a normal life when I’m here. Hard to pretend that I am normal. And jeez.” She shook her head. “Sorry for unloading on you.”
“No problem.” He guided Newman to the left around what looked like a mole tunnel. He guided Winnie over with him by the lead rope he held.
“It’s your own fault,” she said. “You’re too easy to talk to.”
“Back ‘atcha.”
She let out a long sigh and turned her face up to the sky. “But I can do it. For another month, I can do it.”
“What happens in a month?”
“I get back to my life.”
“Right.” And if that wasn’t a reminder he didn’t know what was.
“Can we go faster?”
“You want to go faster?” He grinned over at her. “Sure.”
With his hand holding tight to the guide rope attached to Winnie’s bridle, he picked up a trot, then a gallop. They flew across the open field, horse hooves pounding. He was exhilarated. Flying across a field on horseback could do that for a person. But not him, not lately.
It was the woman beside him. The wild laughter and wilder hair flying out behind her. Wanting to know what it was like for her, he closed his eyes, just for a second. Less than a second. That was all he could stand it. The not knowing what was coming, the lack of control. Moving through the wind and not seeing. Like dropping through a dark sky with nothing but a packed wad of canvas on your back.
How the hell did she do it? But the smile on her face told him she was more than doing it, she was loving it.
They rode across the back field, over virgin grass, toward the rising woods. The horse’s hooves pounded out a perfect rhythm, the cool air brushed over his skin. Even though it was cooler, he was sweating a little. He’d felt responsible for the men under him, but this was different. This was Ava.
He knew she’d hate it, but he couldn’t help thinking she was helpless in this moment. If he dropped the rope she’d be a ship without anchor. No idea where she was or where she was going. No way to find her way back. But he wouldn’t drop the rope. Hell. Even with the death grip on the guide rope, he wanted her closer, like on Newman’s back with him would be good. In front of him, his arms tight around her.
When they neared the grove of trees, he eased Newman back into a trot, then a walk. Winnie followed agreeably. Ava was breathing hard, harder than the horse.
“That was amazing. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Her smile was the brightest he’d ever seen. Her entire face seemed to be smiling. Her cheeks flushed from the wind and excitement.
“I don’t often get to go fast, not like that. I mean that’s why I swim, because I can go all out, push my body in a way I can’t running. But it’s not like this, with the wind in my hair. It’s freeing, it’s… never mind.”
“Tell me.”
“I don’t know how to explain it. It doesn’t even make sense. I can ride a roller coaster, I love riding roller coasters, and it’s not so different I think than a lot of people who ride with their eyes shut tight. But I wouldn’t have been able to do this, to race across an open field on my own. To feel in control? Knowing I could slow Winnie if I’d wanted.”
They reached the trees and the horses walked gingerly in and out of trees, picking their way over the ground.
“Mmm. It doesn’t smell like spring here like it does in other places, does it?”
“I guess not.” Gary’s suggestion of going for a ride, taking a walk had sounded like a crock to him then. But Ava noticed everything. And he wanted to give her more. There’s enough pine needles and leaf cover from last fall to keep the grass from poking through.
Their saddles creaked as they walked slowly down a path Hannah used often. They moved in silence except for the horses’ steady four beat rhythm.
“There’s a stream ahead. So small it nearly dries up in the heat of summer.”
“But it’s not dry now?”
“No.”
“Can we stop and get off for a minute? Or if you don’t have time, we don’t have to.”
“I’ve got nothing but time.” He pulled Newman to a stop and swung off and to the ground. Then giving the horse’s face a light rub, went to Ava’s side. She was already swinging her leg over.
He stood there, ready to help her down, hold the horse. Had the urge to catch her around the waist and lower her down. But she didn’t need that. Or want i
t. He stepped back to give her room.
She swung gracefully off the horse, her jeans hugging her cute little butt, her hips, and all the way down her legs. He wanted to kiss her. Tried to remember why they’d just decided it was best not to when she landed softly on the ground beside him.
“Ava.”
“Yeah? Luke?” She said when he didn’t answer.
“Nothing.” He secured the reins of both horses to the saddle, leaving them to graze a bit. “Let’s walk. There’s something down here I think you’ll like.”
He took her hand and the connection between them zinged, swift and true as a sniper’s round.
Her fingers squeezed his before she let go and moved to take his upper arm.
“Right. Forgot.” He’d partly forgotten, partly wanted to hold her hand. He slowed his steps to match hers. “Too fast? Too slow?”
“Perfect.”
He led her through the trees, over uneven ground, and the farther they got the more uneven and roots and rocks. Holes from animals.
“Watch out through here.” He switched his hold so that his left arm was around her waist and offered his left for her to hold onto. She tripped a few times as they picked their way over exposed roots and uneven ground.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”
“I like it. Definitely don’t do much walking in the woods in New York.”
“Okay, watch your step here,” he said when they reached the stream.
“Okay. I’m watching.”
He cringed at using the word watch but she was smiling, concentrating as she picked her way, with his help, down to the water. He took both her hands and walked backward slowly, leading her.
“Step down. Again. And one more.”
“I hear water. Is it a creek?”
“Yeah, just barely.”
“Nice. I like the sound.”
“You like the sound, you like to stand in the rain. I’m beginning to think you’re obsessed with water.”
“Not obsessed,” she said, still smiling. “I just like it. Can we sit?”
“Sure.”
Waiting On The Rain (The Walker Brothers Book 3) Page 10
