by Lori Wick
Megan stiffened with outrage. “Why? Does Bracken visit her?”
“No!” Louisa’s voice squeaked. “No, Megan, never.”
Some of Megan’s strain left her, but she still looked offended. Louisa sighed. It would seem that Bracken could do no right, not even when he was innocent.
“You judge Bracken too harshly, my dear.” Louisa’s words were spoken gently, but they had a powerful effect. Megan stared at the older woman and then dropped her eyes. Her fingers came to her lips, and she looked very contrite.
Louisa would have questioned her some, but Clive approached then, announcing, “Lady Louisa, Lord Bracken asked me to tell you that Lord Stephen and Lord Brice have arrived.”
“Thank you, Clive.”
“Bracken’s family?” Megan questioned when Clive moved away.
“Yes, the two brothers closest to him in age. Will you come with me to meet them?”
“They will be hungry. I will join you when I’ve seen that something is prepared.”
Louisa saw it for the excuse that it was and let it go, but she knew that Megan’s fears were ungrounded. She was going to love Bracken’s brothers.
Ten
“HOW IS MY MOTHER?” Bracken asked.
“Well,” Stephen told him. “She sends her love, as do Giles and Kris.”
“Has Danella’s child come?”
“No, but she feels well.”
Brice had remained silent during this exchange, and Bracken now transferred his gaze to him.
“What say you, Brice?” Bracken said with a teasing light in his eyes.
“Where is she?”
Bracken smiled. At 18, Brice was preoccupied with the fairer sex. He had been impressed, not dismayed, that the king had taken enough notice of Bracken to order him to marry. He’d thought that was something saved for lords with loftier titles. Now he wanted to know if his brother was to be saddled with an angel or a harridan.
“I believe she’s inside. Yonder comes Aunt Lou. She’ll know.”
Louisa received warm embraces from some of her favorite nephews before she stood back and lovingly studied them.
“You’re taller, Brice.”
He smiled boyishly before she turned to Stephen and eyed him a moment. His looks so closely resembled Bracken’s that it was startling.
“I was certain that Megan would like both you and Brice, but you look enough like Bracken that I can see she may have trouble.” Louisa then turned a devilish smile on her oldest nephew, who tried to scowl at her but couldn’t quite bring it off.
“What’s this, Bracken?” Stephen teased. “Trouble in paradise?”
Bracken chuckled, but Brice cut in seriously.
“Aunt Lou is teasing,” he said, believing with all of his heart that no woman in her right mind could find fault with Bracken.
He was soon to learn differently. Not ten minutes later they were inside and meeting Lady Megan, who stared hard at Stephen before transferring her gaze to Bracken. The lord of the keep was clearly amused by her reaction and smiled when he saw her chin go up in the air.
“My brothers are hungry,” he said, his tone still light but his eyes watchful.
Megan’s raised brows mocked him. “The food awaits, my lord.” Megan started to swing away, but Bracken’s voice halted her.
“Megan.”
She turned back with reluctance.
“I wish you to join us.”
It was not what she wanted to hear.
“Very well, my lord.” Although clearly not happy, Megan allowed Bracken to take her arm and escort her to her place.
The meal progressed with much talk between Louisa and her younger nephews, but Megan and Bracken were distinctly quiet. The meal was coming to an end when Bracken leaned close and spoke for Megan’s ears alone.
“What is it I have done, Megan, to vex you so?”
Megan looked at him for the first time. His face was close, and for an instant she studied his serious, dark eyes. This marriage had not been his idea, nor had it been his plan that she stay at Hawkings Crest. He may not really care for her, but she realized then that he couldn’t force feelings onto his heart.
“I’m sorry, Lord Bracken, that my mood has been so poor. I will try my utmost not to brandish it upon you in the future.”
“I appreciate your effort, Megan, but I’m sorry you’re so unhappy.”
Megan sighed. She hated being so obvious.
“I left my home abruptly; I would have wished for a little more time.”
It was true, Bracken thought. She had left all that was familiar and had been given little time to adjust.
“Would it help to move you to a more comfortable bedchamber?” he suggested.
Megan shook her head; she was sincerely content. “I shall be fine where I am.”
“Playing the martyr, Megan?” Why Bracken quietly baited the girl he didn’t know, but it had its effect.
“No.” Megan’s chin was up, her voice cold. “If there is nothing else,” her voice could now be heard by those at the table, “I have duties that need my attention.”
Megan stood, nodded to those around her, and walked from the room, her bearing resembling that of a queen. It wasn’t long before some of the others left as well, but Stephen found Brice standing alone, a fierce frown on his young face.
“Are you ill, my brother?” Stephen asked.
“What is wrong with her?”
“Her?” Stephen replied, although he knew exactly to whom Brice referred.
“Megan.” Brice’s voice held strong aversion. “How dare she treat Bracken in such a manner.”
“Do not be too hard on her, Brice; she reacts out of fear.”
“Fear!” Brice scoffed and finally faced his older sibling. “What has she to fear? Certainly not Bracken.”
Stephen wisely held his tongue, but he did believe that Bracken was at the core of Megan’s fears and thus her animosity toward him was clearly explained. The brothers did not discuss it again, but Stephen wondered when Brice would find that all men had feet of clay, even their beloved Bracken.
Megan had little contact with Bracken or his brothers in the days to follow, and as much as she tried to fight the emotion, despondency was stealing over her. It seemed to Megan that the castle and keep crawled with people and she could find no solitude of any kind. The only place where she found quiet was her room, but after too many hours within those walls, she had begun to feel vaguely suffocated, a feeling which didn’t prove to be very restful.
Megan had not been sleeping well. Several times she had awakened in the chair by the fireplace but not remembered getting there. If she was walking in her sleep, what was keeping her from leaving the room? Not having an answer to her question made Megan even more restless. Feeling almost desperate, she made for the fortress gate and freedom. The guards did nothing to block her path, and to her amazement not even Arik seemed to notice.
Once outside the walls Megan walked on and on, some of the tall grasses coming over her knees. The scape surrounding Hawkings Crest was lovely; and Megan felt her heart calming as she took in the trees and lush landscape.
It really is lovely here, Father God, she prayed in her heart. I thought nothing could match Stone Lake, but Hawkings Crest is like a rich paradise.
Megan stopped and watched several squirrels at play, knowing they must have been young with the way they gamboled and chased up the trees. Megan’s face broke into a brief smile before she continued to pray.
Please help me to find the same peace in my heart as I see in your creation. Father Brent taught me that contentment is my choice, Father God, and I have not been doing a good job. Please fill my heart and life with You so that my situation or circumstances do not matter.
She hiked on for over an hour, praying and praising God, before sinking down under a tree. The sun sprinkled brightly over her in little patches through the leaves, and it wasn’t long before its warmth lulled Megan to sleep.
“Have you seen Lady
Megan?”
It was the question on Louisa’s lips and then on everyone else’s as Megan’s absence became apparent. Bracken’s face, that of a warrior with a mission, was void of emotional expression, but those who knew him well could detect the concern, the ache to know where she was.
When it became evident that she was not within the castle walls, some of Bracken’s knights rode out on horseback, but the rest of the castle folk, including Bracken and his brothers, set off on foot. Megan heard their cries before she regained full consciousness, and when she did waken, she listened in horror to the call of her name.
With a head still muddled with sleep, Megan came to her feet and nearly stumbled out from beneath the trees. She was rushing along the edge of the forest when Bracken, Stephen, and Kendrick suddenly appeared. The towering rage on Bracken’s face stopped her in her tracks. She watched as he spoke to Kendrick and then as he and Stephen covered the distance between them.
“Why are you out here?” Bracken’s voice was curt.
“I wanted to be alone.”
“So you left the safekeeping of the walls?” Bracken’s voice betrayed his astonishment, telling Megan that he would never understand.
“Yes. I felt a need for solitude. I never meant to fall asleep.”
“You foolish woman!” The words were spat at her. “I have the entire keep looking for you, thinking you abducted or harmed, and here you sleep! Indeed, you are a fool!”
Bracken seemed to be out of words then, or too angry to say more. He turned on his booted heel and swung away from Megan and his brother. He was ten steps away when Stephen spoke softly.
“You disappoint me, Megan.”
She turned hurting eyes to him, wondering from how many she would know rebuke.
“I’d never have guessed you for a woman who would stand mute while someone called you a fool.”
Megan stared at him and then at Bracken, who was swiftly moving away. Her brow lowered menacingly before she raised her voice to be heard.
“I am not a fool.”
Bracken stopped, turned, and stared back at her.
“Were you speaking to me?” he asked as if she had no right.
“Yes. You will not speak to me in such a fashion.”
Bracken began to walk back to her so abruptly that Megan started. As he neared, she was reminded of his ire and began to back away. Bracken came right ahead, backing her into a tree and speaking in an angry growl after she bumped her head on the bark.
“What did you say to me?” Megan swallowed.
“I’m not a fool.” The words were whispered this time as green eyes, wide with fear and pleading, stared up at him.
Seeing that fear, Bracken’s heart softened within him. When Megan had disappeared, he had been more frightened than ever in his life. He had handled her and the situation poorly, but flowery words were not in him. When he spoke, his voice was slightly less harsh but it was far from congenial.
“It is as you say, you are not a fool. I would ask, however, that in the future you do not leave the keep without informing someone. It is most troublesome to lay out a search.”
Megan didn’t sense her own trembling until she was alone once again. She stood against the tree for several moments, fighting down the despair she felt rising within. Would she ever find her place here? Would she ever do that which was expected?
Megan left the tree without any answers and was surprised to find Stephen awaiting her. He did not comment on the scene he had witnessed, but offered to escort her back.
“Thank you,” Megan told him softly and began to walk slowly, thoughtfully toward Hawkings Crest. After several yards, she commented.
“I fear I am nothing but an annoyance to Bracken.” Megan didn’t normally confide in strangers, but although Stephen looked like Bracken, he was a good deal kinder in Megan’s eyes, and she felt desperate for someone to talk with.
“That isn’t true,” Stephen told her. He’d seen with his own eyes what was happening to his brother’s heart.
“I fear that it is. I am a stranger here, and I am troubled that it will always be so.”
“You have not given yourself sufficient time, Megan,” he spoke familiarly to her, truly seeking to help. “Bracken was stern just now, but he does care. He would not have reacted so, had he not been fearful of your harm.”
Megan had not looked at it in such a way. His words made her pause and think. The one time her father had spanked her sprang to mind. She had deserved his hand of punishment far more often, but not until she nearly frightened him to death did he strike her.
“Have I lost you?” Stephen’s voice was kind.
“I was thinking of what you said and remembering a time when my father punished me severely. I deserved the punishment, but then I often did. This particular time, however, he did so out of fear.”
“Were you very bad?” Stephen found himself captivated.
“I was,” Megan admitted. “I bribed his young vassal into letting me dress in his clothing during a tournament. I found myself on the jousting field. I was quite nearly killed by a runaway horse.” Megan glanced at her companion then and wanted to laugh at his look of horror.
“It’s quite true.”
“You say your father beat you?”
Megan nodded. “I couldn’t sit down for several days.”
“What would possess you to do such a thing?” Stephen was still trying to take it in.
“The usual,” Megan said softly. “I was trying to gain my mother’s attention.”
Neither one felt like talking as they passed through the castle gates. Stephen was still amazed at this new insight, and Megan was completely wrapped up with dread over having to face Bracken at the tables that night.
Eleven
THE EVENING MEAL WAS NOT AS BAD as Megan had anticipated. Brice and Bracken were very quiet, but Stephen was charming, and Megan, feeling as if someone had rescued her, allowed herself to be coaxed into talking.
“So you lived most of your years at the abbey?” he wanted to know.
“Yes. In truth, the abbey feels more like home than Stone Lake.”
“What did you do all day?” This came from Aunt Louisa.
“Well,” Megan admitted, “when I first arrived I spent all my time running away or planning to run away, but as I began to grow more settled, I was given responsibilities.”
“Doing what?” Stephen asked.
“The abbey is run very much like a keep,” Megan explained, “only the nuns give everything away. The abbey has a creamery and small byre. The nuns weave, sew, bake, and cook, but nearly all goods are given to charity. I am proficient in all of these things because I worked right along with them. Then when I turned 15 I was allowed to go into the village several times a week to teach some of the children.”
“Your father approved of this?” Bracken, who couldn’t help himself, wondered aloud. The abbey did not alarm him but time alone in the village was another matter. Thinking he may have angered her, Bracken held his breath as Megan turned, but for once she was not offended by his line of questioning.
“My father had very definite ideas about my upbringing. He believed I would be a more compassionate mistress to my servants if I spent time in the village. I was never in any danger, you understand. Most of the townspeople knew of my parentage. Since it was common knowledge, they never believed we were trying to deceive them, and in truth, after just a short time, it was not something many even thought of.”
Bracken couldn’t imagine allowing his own daughter to work in the village, but without asking he somehow knew that Vincent’s ideas stemmed from his reaction to his wife’s personality. Megan was stern with the servants at Hawkings Crest, but she was never cruel. Bracken now saw that Megan was the woman she was because she had been separated from her mother’s influence. From what little he’d seen and heard, it would at least appear so.
Had they been alone, Bracken might have questioned Megan further. But now was not the time, and he was l
eft to ruminate on what she had said.
Megan was also left with a certain amount of speculation after Bracken made no comment to her story. Through the evening she pondered whether he agreed with her father or thought him a fool.
Two afternoons later Megan was feeling suffocated again. She knew better than to leave on her own, but she could not find Louisa or Bracken. The day had started well, and she did not want to do anything to spoil it, but she had to get out. A basket on her arm, she gained the courtyard and with relief spotted Arik.
“Arik,” Megan spoke when she stood before him, having lost all fear of his size and stony face. “Bracken bids me to tell someone when I leave the castle walls.” She paused and stared at his expressionless countenance, knowing full well that he had heard her. “I’m going into the fields to pick herbs.”
Arik didn’t blink, nod his head, or acknowledge her in any way, but after Megan held his eyes for just a moment, she turned away, the basket now swinging from her hand, her bright head shining in the sun.
She wasn’t 15 steps outside the castle gate when she sensed with certainty that Arik had followed her. She didn’t mind. His presence made her feel secure. Megan found the field she sought and happily sank down into the grasses, the morning sun warm on her back. Within minutes she’d forgotten everything around her. Intent on her task, she neither heard nor saw Bracken’s brother approaching.
Returning from a hunting party in the woods, Brice had just sent his game ahead to the castle when he spotted Megan in the field. Her hair was a halo of red, a delight to any eye, but Brice frowned. Just days ago the entire castle had searched for her, and now here she sat alone outside the walls. Brice had covered half the distance when he spotted Arik.
He drew up short and felt shamed for his angry thoughts. He knew he was too hard on the girl. They were of the same age and would probably get along well, but Brice loved his brother and Megan’s lack of effort in the relationship infuriated him.
