by Maggie Cole
He pulled me onto him and stroked my hair. “Maddie, I can’t believe I put us in this situation. I’m so sorry.”
“Jack, you didn’t know.”
Jack shook his head. “I put together a deal that helped increase human trafficking. I skipped steps. I was arrogant. I’ll never forgive myself.”
I realized Jack had bottled up a lifetime of pain. Between not being able to tell anyone, and being the one who brokered the deal, guilt ate at him. I sat up and pulled his head to my chest. “It’s not your fault.”
To my surprise, he started sobbing. The shame of it all too much to bear.
“Shhhh.” I rubbed my hands through his hair.
“I can’t get the faces of those women and children out of my mind,” he sobbed hysterically.
This affected Jack even deeper than I initially thought, and I never thought about the horror he saw that night or the responsibility he felt for it.
Jack sobbed as I tried to comfort him, and I don’t know how long I held him. Eventually, Jack lifted his head. His eyes were red, his face tired and swollen.
I realized how exhausted he was. “You need sleep, sweetheart.” I removed his clothes and put the covers over him.
“Maddie, lie here with me?”
Not hesitating, I slipped under the covers and snuggled up to his chest.
“Tell me I haven’t lost you, Maddie.”
I locked my eyes with his. “You haven’t lost me, Jack.”
Tears of relief swept over his face. I kissed his tears and then lips. “Go to sleep now.” I snuggled into his chest, and fell asleep along with him.
12
Maddie
When I woke up, it was dark out. Jack was still asleep. His beautiful face looked peaceful. I moved and tried not to disturb him, but he stirred.
“Hey.” He traced my lips with his finger.
“Hey, you.” I leaned in to kiss him. He grabbed me and pulled me onto him, and through his kisses, I felt his desire to be mine, a desperation to know that I was still his.
He grabbed the t-shirt I wore, and slid his warm hands underneath, while he caressed my back and pulled me closer to him. My body fell into his familiarity, like a puzzle piece that fits just right.
I wanted to please him. He had been through so much, and he always worked so hard to please me. I wanted to release some of his tension and give him a high to soar on. I began to kiss his pecs, and fondled his already hardening cock in the process. I dipped down to it.
“I want to make you cum, Maddie. Get back up here.”
“No, just relax, it’s my turn.” I took my first lick of his dick and sucked on his cap.
“Fuck, Maddie,” he mumbled.
“Mmmm,” I responded and pushed his rigid shaft further in my mouth.
“Swing your legs up here, Maddie.”
“I want to please you, Jack. Let me.”
“Maddie, I want to cum with your pussy on my face. Nothing will please me more. Swing your legs up here,” he demanded once again.
I giggled. "If you insist.” My inexperienced self once again was trying something new, and I positioned my body on top of his then began to suck his dick again. My body leaped off his when his tongue hit my clit. Jack let out a slight laugh, then grabbed my ass and pulled my body into his face again.
I readjusted myself. I was not going to give Jack bad head because he was giving me head at the same time.
But he felt so good. His big cock was in my mouth, his moans were humming out of his mouth and he licked and sucked, eating me out with expertise.
Jack knew exactly how to play my body, and my nerves fluttered at attention. From time to time, he’d slap my ass and then rub my butt cheek after the slap. My clit would pulse in his face with every slap. My nerves quivered with the sting of his slap and warmth of his hand.
My moans buzzed against his manhood and my chest heaved into his six-pack.
As I squeezed his balls, grazed my teeth along his shaft, and sucked on his tip, his moans became louder. He grabbed my ass and pushed me into his face harder, and I circled my hips into his face. I wanted it...needed it...and knew that only he could give it to me.
A soft laugh and groan vibrated against my throbbing body before he licked and sucked inside my opening. No one had done that to me before, and I inhaled sharply as his warm tongue raged against my walls.
But it didn’t last long. Jack’s fingers soon were in all my holes. I decided to be in all his. I put saliva on my finger and slowly stuck it up Jack’s asshole. Little by little, I inched into him, as I replicated how he gave it to me. I heard him breath harder, and he sucked my pussy with a renewed intensity.
We shoved each other down and pulled each other up, wanting to give the other pleasure but feeling so much ourselves. The sensations overwhelmed me, and a few times, I popped up for air before I could resume my duties.
Jack was ready to explode. I could feel him throb in my mouth. I knew he would only release me when he came. He knew exactly how and when he would give it to me.
His penis started to pulse, and he warned me. I continued to keep him in my mouth and increased my suction. He started spurting his hot liquid in my mouth, and his body vibrated underneath me. With his massive hand, he slapped my ass and sucked on me with so much intensity, I toppled over the edge.
Our bodies ricocheted together. And when we stopped convulsing, my sweaty body laid on top of Jack’s, an exhausted yet happy heap of body parts.
I rolled off him as my chest continued to heave, and my eyes tried to refocus from my high. We laid there, and breathed for a few moments, as Jack’s fingers trailed my upper thighs.
After I caught my breath and crawled up to him, he flipped me on my back and feasted on my lips, my neck, my collarbone.
“I missed you, Maddie,” he whispered in my ear. It was a little over twenty-four hours, but I knew what he meant. I felt an emptiness without him that I didn’t wanted to admit.
Our relationship was fast; I knew it was. But we connected: both sexually and emotionally. As much as I tried to tell myself to go slow, I started to think that was impossible with him. I felt wanted, honored, and taken care of with Jack. As much as I needed to figure out my own life, I somehow began to realize that I needed to figure it out with him in it.
“I missed you too,” I pulled his face to mine and wanted him to see that how I felt toward him was no less than how he felt toward me.
He closed his eyes briefly, and his eyes were slightly wet when he opened them.
“Hey,” I whispered and stroked his cheek.
He closed his eyes again, as if in pain.
“Jack?”
“I don’t deserve you, Maddie. But I can’t stop myself from wanting you and taking whatever you’ll give me.”
I was stunned for a moment. My beautiful, confident, normally in charge Jack, was in so much agony. Much more than I realized. I pulled him closer to me. “Don’t ever say that again, Jack. I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want you. You make me feel happy...and alive...and wanted.”
A tear slid off his chin. I kissed it off his face, then found his mouth, and I pushed my tongue into his, as I frantically tried to show him that I needed him as much as he needed me.
He made me his number one, but did I make him number two in that process?
The thought crossed my mind, but I couldn’t stay there long enough. Jack’s body started to respond to mine again, and I rolled over on top of him, sinking onto him as he moaned, and I caught my breath. Bringing my face next to his, I whispered in his ear how beautiful he was and how much I wanted him.
“Maddie, I have to go get a condom.”
I grabbed him. “I’m on the pill. I want to feel you, Jack. All of you.”
He hesitated, as if he wasn’t sure. I moved my hips and he moaned, then he closed his eyes, and struggled to decide.
“You said you’ll take what I give you. I’m giving you all of me.”
His face registered what I
meant, and he found my mouth. He kissed me with a new intensity. It was different than our normal fevered kisses during sex. It was softer, gentler, more intimate, but vulnerable and full of a need not for the high, but only for each other.
Our bodies moved in motion, and melted together as always, but slower, as if they wanted to savor every moment. He didn’t make me beg. We didn’t play any games. It was just Jack and me, as we made love.
Jack’s strong arms held me tight, his hands caressed my naked back and butt. Our lips entwined, and our tongues danced in the dark, as our bodies grew hot and sweaty.
“Maddie, you feel so good,” Jack whispered.
I nodded in agreement with my hitched breath. Jack's naked skin slid against mine, filling me up, rippling against my walls, hitting my sweet spot over and over.
Jack sat up and brought me with him. His hands supported my arched back, and his mouth moved to my collarbone. "So delicious," he mumbled.
My knees sank next to the sides of his hips, digging into the bed, as I tried to push all of him into my body, and his warm tongue sent new tingles through my nipples.
"I need you, Jack," I whispered to him.
Hands grazed my cheeks, and his heavenly lips were once again worshipping mine, as our hips moved together in a slow, almost lazy rhythm.
"I only want you," he whispered between kisses.
Sweat dripped from our bodies, while moans and breath reverberated through the room in a new quiet compared to our usual louder selves.
My hips sank deeper, his arms gripped me tighter, and his heat melted into mine, coursing through my body. And as he drove me to the gates of paradise, he murmured, "Maddie, I don't think I can go much longer."
I put my forehead to his, then let myself go, as I felt the slow tremble of my euphoria, that started to speed up.
"Jack," I cried out as he pumped hard against my bundle of nerves and violently began to shake, igniting more tremors throughout my body.
We held each other tight. I felt his heartbeat through his chest, and Jack found my lips again, feverishly kissing me, thanking me...just loving me.
Something changed with us. It was no longer just sex. We had made love. And as I laid in Jack's arms, with my head on his chest, he stroked my hair, quietly, from time to time, kissing the top of my head.
And I knew there was nowhere I wanted to be but in his arms.
I don’t know how long we laid there, but suddenly, my stomach started to rumble.
Jack laughed. “Hungry?”
“Guess so.” I realized I hadn’t eaten all day.
Jack turned on his side, his elbow on the bed, hand on his face. “Want to shower and then walk to Noreens?”
“Sure, but the last one in the shower has to scrub the other person clean!” I jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom.
Jack laughed and called out, “I’m going to enjoy being the loser of this one.”
* * *
A long, hot, steamy shower later, we started to get ready to go to dinner. After I dried my hair, I sat at the vanity and put on my makeup. Jack stood at the counter and shaved. I could feel his gaze.
“What?”
“Nothing.” His dimples popped out.
“What?”
“That red lipstick on you is going to make me horny all night.”
I laughed. “And your dick is back in your brain!”
He shrugged and kissed the top of my head.
A few minutes later, we walked hand in hand. It didn’t take us long to get to Noreens. We were quickly ushered to the same table I sat at the day before with Liv and Meg.
“Is this your table?” I teased.
“They open it up when I’m out of town.”
“So you come here a lot?”
“I’m not really in New York that often, remember,” he reminded me of our conversation in St. Pete. I decided to dig a bit deeper and hoped he would be more open than the last time.
I peered at him.
Jack raised his brow, “Go ahead.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re going to ask me why I’m never in New York.”
I laughed. “Reading my mind now?”
“Maybe...”
“So? Why aren’t you in New York? You have an amazing home, what’s the point of having it if you don’t get to enjoy it?
Jack beamed with pride. “You like my home?”
I tilted my head to the side and squinted at him slightly. “Do you seriously have to ask me that? Your home is gorgeous. It has everything. Why don’t you want to be here?”
Jacks face dropped a bit. Sadness once again entered his eyes. “It reminds me of what I don’t have.”
I didn’t understand. “I’m not following. What don’t you have?”
“You’re going to make me spell it out, aren’t you?”
“Jack, I’m really not following you.”
His finger started to tap the table, as if he was a bit nervous. I put my hand over his. “Look, Maddie, I had a plan for my life. I put everything into it and when it exploded, I…I shut off...”
I waited and stroked his hand some more.
“I thought I was going to be a husband and a dad. When we lost the baby,” Jack paused and closed his eyes as if the pain was still fresh, “everything changed. It didn't matter what I did, I couldn’t bring us back.”
“That’s not your fault. It happens sometimes. It takes two people to be in a relationship.”
He shook his head, “I decided work would be it for me. No more relationships. It just...hurt too bad. I jumped in full force, started to make a lot of money, and decided to buy the penthouse. I became obsessed with it, and made sure every detail was perfect.”
“It is perfect. That’s why I don’t understand why you aren’t enjoying it.”
“You’re missing the point, Maddie.”
“Tell me then.”
He swallowed hard. “It’s empty.”
I sat back. Slowly, I realized that Jack was lonely, and the penthouse reminded him of the relationship and family he didn’t have.
“So I travel. I told myself so many lies over the years. I have to be gone. I have it all. I don’t need to really get to know anyone else.” Jack’s vulnerability ripped through me.
“But you made it clear from the start that you wanted more with me. Why?” It didn’t make sense that he wanted more from me if he really didn’t want to get to know anyone else.
Jack sat back a bit, took his hand, and rubbed it through his hair. “When I saw those women and children being auctioned off, I realized that while I never paid for sex, all I did was use women for my pleasure, and I was no better than Michael and Jim.”
“Surely, you don’t believe that? Anyone you had sex with was a willing participant.”
“You don’t think many of them wanted more?”
“I’m sure, but that isn’t the same thing, Jack.”
“Maybe not the same thing, but it’s still heartless. It’s still selfish.”
He paused, and I waited for him to continue.
“Maddie, I’ve used a lot of women. I took what I wanted and threw them to the curb. Nice women. Women who deserved better than that.”
I didn’t speak. I wasn’t surprised Jack had a thriving sex life before me, but I hadn’t thought of him as a womanizer.
“Now you know. I don’t blame you if you want to get up and walk out of here.” His eyes were full of shame.
He thinks I want to leave him now?
“Don’t be silly. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of.”
Jack snorted. ”Oh yeah? Maddie, tell me one thing you have done that you aren’t proud of.”
“That’s easy.”
Jack raised his eyebrows at me and waited.
“I lived the last few years as a doormat. I stayed with someone who had no respect or true love for me.”
“Like I said the first night I met you: dumb guy.”
I stared at him. “Do you kn
ow what it’s like to be someone’s doormat? To base your entire world around someone who doesn’t want you? To be rejected, over and over, and still want that person to love you? To stay with someone who criticizes you in every conversation you have?”
Jack scooted over in the booth and put his arm around me. “Maddie, you have nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not disgraceful to want to be loved.”
“I stayed six years, Jack. Six.”
“At least you didn’t use people.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Don’t give yourself so much credit. Those women wanted to sleep with you, and I’m pretty sure you gave them a good time. If we only had a one-night stand, and I never saw you again, sure, if I am honest with myself, a part of me would have been disappointed. But you would have been the guy I always remembered who brought me back to life.”
Jack smiled. “You were never dead, Maddie.”
“But wasn’t I?”
Jack shook his head.
“Look, am I saying that you didn’t hurt a lot of hearts? No. You probably did. Disappointed a lot who wanted more? Sure. Jeez, Jack, I didn’t expect anything, and after a night with you, I would have been disappointed. But it takes two people to consent. They wanted what you gave them as much as you wanted to take what they gave you. Life isn’t fair. There are worse things you can claim to have done.”
“Still doesn’t make it right.”
I sipped my drink. “No, it doesn’t make it right, but it doesn’t put you anywhere close to the type of men Mike and Jim are.”
Jack didn’t say anything; he tapped the table with his index finger.
“So, after the night when you saw those women and children, you decided you weren’t going to casually date anymore? Only look for something serious?”
Jacks head snapped. “No.”
I tilted my head in confusion.
“I wasn’t going to date or sleep with anyone. I haven’t had sex since before that night.”
I sat in stunned silence. Jack hadn’t had sex in close to a year? How was that possible? It took me a minute to get over my shock. “Why me?”