by Elsa Kurt
He had seen her as hopeless, needing protection, sheltering, and supervision, and even though it wasn’t true, she let him. Why? Because it was easier to just go along. Then, after the divorce, when things got hard, she rushed into things with No Name. In his own way, No Name was much the same. Different method, same goal. Again, she let someone else take over. It was easier than doing it all herself. Ultimately, they both wanted to keep her, like a bird in a cage, just for themselves. Keira had played the role they saw her in, ignoring the parts of herself that were more, that wanted to be more. All because she was a chicken-shit coward who just wanted things to be easy.
Oh, dear. She's too hard on herself. I mean, honestly, who doesn’t wish life was more carefree? I think a better, kinder assessment here would be to say she was scared. After all, she’d never really had to find out what she was capable of until she divorced Darren the Dick. A crash course in Adulting On Your Own, you might say.
The funny thing about it though, ‘easy’ was not easy at all. It was boring, demeaning. Most of all, it came at a price. In Darren’s early pursuit of her, he’d charmed her completely, and she’d fallen for all his sweet words, promises of devotion, and the idea of happily ever after. But the reality was, once he had her, he set her on a shelf and expected her to sit still and look pretty while he went about his busy life of philandering, loving himself, and being a world-class jerk. No Name— instead of cheating and self-absorption— was borderline obsessed with her. The question begged to asking. Why did she choose them, those kinds of men? Better yet— how could she stop choosing that kind of man? The only thing Keira was sure of, was that she wouldn’t select better men until she was her best self, simple as that.
Keira nodded once, letting the crease that had formed in her brow to smooth once again. She self-avowed to challenge herself from now on, no more easy route. Her mind drifted once again to Kyle, and though it was tempting to just imagine his smile and his kiss, she forced herself to consider him with objectivity. Handsome? Yes. Chemistry? Undeniable. Smart? Seemed to be. Kind? Totally. Fun? So far. That’s the phrase she’d use— so far— as her temperance marker any time she got too ‘swoony’ over his dimple or his side part. Or his chiseled jaw, or... Stop it, Keira. All this, assuming they’d see each other again.
As epiphanies go that one led to more changes for Keira. Realizing her previous notions of old dating rules had done her no service, she decided she’d be direct and let the chips fall where they may. She would also not look further than the present, either. With all those new resolutions set in motion, she stopped by Molly’s and share them with her. She may have chosen poorly in men, but her girlfriends had always had her back, especially Molly.
“So, there you have it. New Keira,” she told Molly, pounding her fist on the table for emphasis. It sent an avalanche of fruit from the bowl at the center of the table to the floor.
“Well, it’s about damn time.” Molly declared as she set an orange back in the bowl. “I’ve been telling you for years all this stuff. Good for you. Seriously. All right, I hope New Keira isn’t judgy because I have something to tell you.”
“Oh? And what might that be?”
Keira’s instincts told her it had something to do with Eric but waited.
“Eric and I are going out on a—a… date. I’m not saying we’re getting back together, so get that stupid grin off your face. You’re as bad as Janice. And don’t say anything to anyone.”
“Okay, okay. Geez. Mol, I think that’s great, really. So, how did that even come about? The other day you were ready to strangle him.”
“I still want to strangle him. But you know how we’re on that MateMatch site? Well, turns out he joined, too, and he came up as a match. Can you believe it? Anyhow, I got—”
“Jealous? Admit it, Molly. You got jealous at the thought of him dating, didn’t you?”
“Shut up. Yes, fine, I did. Are you happy? So, whatever. It’s just a date, nothing more.”
“O-kay.”
“Don’t say okay like that.”
“Geez, how else can I say it? Well, I’m outta here. I’ve got to go buy something to wear to this conference, and I am going to message Kyle and ask him to go on another date. So there.”
“Whoa, look at you, Miss. Modern Woman Barbie. Now, if you’d just definitively let the ghosts of Losers Past know they are in the past, you’d be perfect-ish. Don’t give me that face, I’m serious.” Molly put a hand on Keira’s arm and softened her tone. “And Keira? I’m proud of you. It’s about time you started seeing what we see in you.”
“Aww, you’re gonna make me cry. C’mere and hug your bestie.”
“Oh, fucking hell. Fine, here. Now go on, get out of here.”
Keira left her friend’s house laughing. Neither of them was the huggy type, so it was always comical and exaggerated when they did. She was true to her word, and once in the department store parking lot, she pulled out her phone to message Kyle. She was on her third attempt at typing a casual, non-stalkerish text when her phone chimed. It was him.
Hey, great job on the heel
thing. Sorry for delay, at
work. Mutant fest over here.
Crazy schedule this week.
Weird idea— coffee tomorrow?
9am, Bob’s Coffee Shop,
center of town?
Keira didn’t hesitate.
Can do. See you then.
She would not play coy. Keira wanted to see him, and that was that. She couldn’t help being pleased that she didn’t have to make the first move. Or was it really the second first move? No matter, she was seeing him again, and she couldn’t wait.
The next morning their coffee date occurred as planned. They talked nonstop for almost two hours about everything under the sun, then both rushed off to their respective appointments. For Keira, it was her conference, and for Kyle, work. His schedule, being shift work and having overtimes and orders in, made for some challenges in planning dates. However, her schedule and lifestyle made it workable. They planned two more dates over the next couple of weeks by checking and coordinating calendars over coffee and scones. Once again, Keira grinned like an idiot at nothing as she drove to the hotel to pick up Margie, who couldn’t help noticing Keira’s especially cheery demeanor when she climbed into the passenger seat.
“Well, look at you, Miss. Thing. You are practically glowing, child. Pray tell? Oh, and you dressed like you, I see.”
“Am I that obvious,” Keira laughed, then confessed, “okay, I just came from a fantastic coffee date.”
“So, a coffee date has you smiling like this, hmmm? I think I need a coffee date like that in my life. Well, we have a thirty-minute drive, so fill me in.”
Keira obliged and told her all about Kyle and her new attitude. Margie seemed surprised and pleased when Keira thanked her for her life-changing words from the day before.
“Why, I had no idea my words affected you so. I’m pleased. There is nothing I love more than seeing women come into their own and truly recognize not only their worth but their power. Did you know Home Garden Life is run solely by women? Nothing against the men, mind you. But we envisioned building our brand with a female focus, by women, for women.”
“I knew that, actually. I researched the company before our interview and decided it was exactly where I wanted to be. HGL is not just about gardens and beautifying your home, it’s about empowering women to seek fulfillment and happiness in all parts of their life, to not be embarrassed or ashamed of your life choices.”
Before she began reading and writing for HGL, Keira used to compare herself all the time to the ‘working’ mothers of the world, believing she somehow was inferior to them because she was a ‘stay-at-home’ mom. Then she read an article by a woman who worked outside the home. The woman, a mother of two, said she was continually failing at parenting and felt envious of and judged by the women who stayed home to raise the kids. It was then that Keira truly realized that they were all just trying to do the b
est they could, and they all had self-doubt. After that, she wanted to be a voice of encouragement and empowerment for all women.
“Oh, yes, I recall your enthusiasm quite well. It’s what got you the job. You radiated passion and a great understanding of what we aim to provide our readers. It outweighed your lack of experience by a lot. I’m glad I trusted my instincts on you, Keira Travis.”
“Me, too.”
They chatted with ease the rest of the way, but as they approached the convention center, Keira’s apprehensions resurfaced. Margie was the only person she’d know there, and she would not stay by her side the whole time. It was as if Margie could read her mind.
“Now, listen. You will be perfectly fine in there. No one will bite you. In fact, this is one of the nicest crowds around. Go in there, find Lettie and pick her brain. Also, give her your card and tell her I said you two should chat. Now let’s go.”
Keira smiled weakly and nodded, and in they went. After a few introductions, Margie was on her way to prepare for her lecture and Keira was left to wander on her own. At every booth and display, there were friendly faces eager to discuss their products. Keira loosened up and enjoy herself, walking and chatting down the rows of stalls, thinking Margie was right.
But then, just as she rounded the middle row, she spotted the Lettie at the end. The woman was all of five feet tall, but her presence made her seem ten feet. Her fiery red hair and big Southern drawl drew convention-goers in like a magnet and a crowd three rows deep arced around her. A life-sized Lettie Lotts poster— Lettie wearing a wide brim hat in her massive vegetable garden, one arm outstretched to present the majestic sight, the other strategically clutching her latest book, Grow It Like Lettie— stood on the podium behind her.
For Keira, it was like seeing an angel, and she gravitated to the source of the crowds focus as if she were floating on air, her vision tunneled and all the sound— save Lettie’s voice— disappeared. This woman had saved her sanity during her marriage to Darren, introducing her to the infinite joy of gardening. The beauty and grace of flowers. The art of planting, and the salvation and serenity in good, clean dirt. Lettie was her hero, plain and simple.
Her state of trance-like, singular attention would cause what happened next.
“Hey, lady. Hey.”
Only, Keira didn’t hear this.
“Watch out. You gotta go around.”
Still nothing. Then— SPLASH. Keira was suddenly soaking wet, completely confused, and waist deep in a man-made pond with a startled duck quacking in her lap. Oh, and with about a million people, including Lettie Lots, staring at her.
It was more like seventy-five people, give or take. But, yes, Lettie was indeed looking directly at her.
Keira had unwittingly walked in the path of a pond display, set up with the expectation that only a blind person could miss a water exhibit complete with fowl, a miniature waterfall, and bold sign reading,
CAUTION
WATER DISPLAY
WALK AROUND
TO THE RIGHT
OF DISPLAY
She declined the outstretched hands trying to assist her and crawled out of the water, her thin harem pants clinging to her in a most mortifying way. One shoe was still in the pond, so she had to go back a fish around for it, compounding her humiliation. She hardly registered anything said to her, nodding when asked if she was all right, shrugging helplessly when asked how could have missed that pond, and accepting a towel handed to her with some mumbled thanks.
An older woman directed her to the ladies’ room, which took her past Lettie Lotts stage area. Several pairs of eyes were on her as she walked towards the restroom, so impossibly far away. Some, many in fact, were sympathetic, but some were with either stifled or open giggles. She couldn’t blame them, really. She must’ve been quite a sight. Though Lettie had resumed her address to the crowd, she gave numerous glances in Keira’s direction as she passed by.
Once in the ladies’ room, Keira got a look in the mirror at what everyone else had seen. The clear view of her buttocks in the thin material. The dirt and grass streaked and smeared on her arms and pants (yes, they’d even laid out grass around the display), and best of all, the one white and gray duck feather sticking out of her hair that no one had the decency to pull out as she walked by.
“Well, aren’t you a sight, honey.”
Oh, no. It can’t be. There is no way—
“Lettie Lotts, here to the rescue, darlin’.”
“Lettie? I— you, I’m so, you’re like,”
“Settle yourself down, now. Here, get out of those, and take these. Go on.”
Lettie had quickly finished her lecture, exited the stage, ignoring the crowd of fans and bee-lined for the ladies’ room to help the poor woman who’d fallen into the pond exhibit. On her way, she grabbed a pair of gardener’s overalls from the Heirloom Garden ‘Lettie Line’ Clothes booth with a promise to return to pay after. No one questioned her, she was Lettie Lotts after all.
“Thank you, Miss. Lotts. This is so kind of you. I’m literally your biggest fan.”
“Oh, why thank you, sugar. Now tell me, what on earth were you doing to get yourself in an artificial pond at a garden convention?”
“Well, I was on my way” she called from the bathroom stall as she peeled off her wet pants, “over to see you, actually. I guess I was so—” Keira whacked her head on the toilet paper dispenser, “I’m all right— so focused on you, that I didn’t notice,” Keira burst out of the cramped stall, “the pond. And, well, there you go. Or, well, there I went.”
Lettie slow blinked at Keira a moment, Keira shrugged.
“What is your name, honey?”
“Oh, right. Keira, Keira T—”
“Keira Travis? Oh, well, now, how about that. I recognize you now from your photo, minus the feather, that is. I love your posts on HGL.”
“Shut up.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“No, no I don’t mean— I’m sorry, my fourteen-year-old— that’s what they say when they mean, like, ‘get out’ or ‘no way.’ I just— I can’t believe you know who I am. I idolize you, Miss. Lotts. In fact, I’ve even started writing a book, thanks to your inspiration.”
“Now, that is just the sweetest thing. I would love to see it when you’re done. Here,” Lettie pulled out a pen and a business card from her own overalls, “this is my direct number. If your book is anything like your articles, you’ve got a future hit on your hands. Maybe our hands. I’ve begun my own publishing company, and on the lookout for fresh talent.”
A feather could’ve knocked Keira over. Somehow, one of the most humiliating moments of her life had turned into one of the greatest. Kyle will love this story.
“Wow, yes, thank you, Miss.—”
“Lettie. No more Miss. Lotts. You and I will be fast friends, I’m sure of it. Now you go on and just shake off this little mishap and enjoy the afternoon and we’ll be in touch soon. Ta-ta, darlin’.”
And with a wave, Lettie Lotts was back out in the crowd of clamoring fans, and Keira stood slack-jawed and stunned, realizing too late that she hadn’t thanked her for the overalls.
Well, I’d keep narrating the rest of the day, but Keira was in such a state of happy delirium, that she paid little attention to anything else. Suffice to say tragedy turned to triumph, disaster became delight, and all that was wrong became right again in the end. Let us traverse back to the Mr. Interesting (or is he Kyle the Cop now?) saga…
Keira texted Kyle the moment she dropped Margie off back at the hotel, knowing he’d be incredulous and amused. She quickly typed out one line.
I topped the plate trick.
After a brief pause, a response.
That sounds phone call worthy.
Gimme five, then call.
She did just so, and when he answered he laughed and said,
“Spill it, Travis. I’ve got ten minutes before I’ve got to get back on the road. What d'ya do?”
Keira laughed as she
told the story, all the embarrassment now minimized by the result.
“That is outstanding, Travis. Not, the pond part, but the Lettie Lotts thing. Way to turn a negative into a positive. I love it.”
Keira smiled, grateful. Once again, Kyle had proven himself to be a constructive presence. Darren would have focused on the pond, making her relive the humiliation over and over and completely ignoring the great outcome. No Name would have dwelled on the fact that she could’ve gotten really hurt. But Kyle, much like Keira, always looked for the upside of everything. They spoke for a few more minutes, then said their goodbyes. Later that night she received another text from him.
Short notice but I scored tickets
for Neil Diamond. It’s next Saturday.
You in?
Keira loved Neil Diamond. Of course, she was in. She checked her calendar, noting that Violet had a sleepover party and Lola would be at her Dad’s that night, so she was clear. Then she saw another event scheduled. It was the Lindsey Buckingham show that Jason had asked her to go to. She’d kept him on the back burner and at bay until she decided what to do about him and had forgotten about the show. Shit. The dilemma was short-lived. In an instant, she’d decided.
Hey yourself. Was about to text
you, too. I am SO in to see Neil
