‘Hey, no need to worry. Everything’s fine. Come in.’ As always, he’s laid-back, composed.
I follow him through to a cool, wood-panelled hallway. He and I have known one another for years. We went to the same art college. I studied fine art, while he studied sculpture. He ended up becoming a stonemason (among other things). Said it was good for his soul, chipping away at rocks all day, creating beauty. I don’t know how he manages to do everything he does – the stonemasonry, looking after an orchard, and the other thing… I guess he must have help.
‘Where is he?’ I ask, looking around at all the doors leading off the entrance hall. ‘I thought I heard him outside. Sorry, but I need to see him.’
‘Of course. He’s out the back with Scout.’
‘Who?’
‘Scout, my sheepdog.’
‘Oh, right. I didn’t know you had a dog.’ I pause. ‘Was it… traumatic? Did you play him the video? Did he… see anything he shouldn’t have?’
‘No, nothing like that. Don’t worry. It all went exactly as planned. He had one night of tears, a bit of homesickness the following morning. But since then he’s been happy as anything. And now I can’t prise him away from Scout. Last night, I broke my rule of no dogs upstairs to let Scout sleep in his room. I think you might have to get the lad a dog.’
‘Oh, Louis. I can’t thank you enough for looking after him. And for… the rest.’
‘Well…’
‘Oh, yes. I have your cash in the bottom of my suitcase. I can get it for you now if you—’
‘No, no. Later is fine.’
During our college years, Louis and I shared a house with four other art students. The two of us were close – maybe because I’m such a good listener – but there was never anything more to our relationship than a deep friendship.
Louis always had such glamorous girlfriends and boyfriends, all of whom he told me about in intimate detail. I would always advise him and try to steer him down the right paths. I guess you could say I acted like his conscience. Although we’re the same age, in some ways he seemed older, worldlier somehow. But I guess in other ways I was the sensible, grown-up one.
At first glance, Louis seems like an ordinary guy. But he’s anything but. He has this magnetic aura about him that pulls you in. Makes everyone love him. Ultimately, I always thought he was a bit of a lost soul who needed looking after. Turns out, in the end, I needed him just as much as he needed me.
Looking back, I think the real reason we were drawn to each other was our lack of parents and siblings. Both his parents were dead. My mother was dead, and my father had been emotionally absent since that day, never coming to terms with it. While most of the other students went home to their families for weekends and holidays, Louis and I stayed behind in our student house together. We became one another’s family. Like brother and sister.
It was during that final year at college that Louis – while drunk – confided in me what it was he did, aside from his college work. I don’t think I believed him at the time. But when I looked back at the conversation, I realised he was probably telling the truth. The way he explained it to me was that he sorted out other people’s problems. It sounded so innocuous. So… helpful. Of course, I asked him what sort of problems. Louis told me, ‘Difficult problems. Problems that need to go away.’
I remember raising my eyebrows and laughing. He gave me an amused look and said that someone as lovely as me would most likely never have the sort of problems he dealt with. But if I did, I should call him. I never even thought about it again. Not until Lainy suggested that we might need help with Jake. Even then, I was nervous about calling Louis up. Convinced I had the wrong end of the stick and was misremembering a conversation that happened so many years ago. That he would be shocked at my insinuations. But he wasn’t shocked. Not at all. He said he was sorry about what I’d been subjected to over the years, and that of course it would be his pleasure to help.
After art college, Louis and I still kept in close contact for a few months – calling, texting and meeting up for drinks. But when I got together with Jake, there was no room in my life for other people. So we ended up not keeping in contact as much as we thought we would. To my shame, I let the friendship lapse. We gradually drifted apart. Of course, we liked the odd social media post and heard of one another through friends of friends. Occasionally, he’d message me or call to arrange a meet-up, and I loved those unexpected telephone chats. But as for meeting up in person – it simply never happened. It would have been impossible explaining to Jake why I was meeting up with another man – despite us only being friends.
‘How was it getting through passport control?’ I ask.
‘No trouble at all,’ Louis replies. ‘You were right – Jake and I do look pretty similar. They didn’t bat an eyelid.’
I exhale. ‘Where’s his passport now?’
‘I destroyed it, like you wanted.’
‘I still can’t believe the police bought it. That they believed Jake abducted Dylan and ran off to be with another woman.’
‘I told you it would be fine. Celia was outstanding as always,’ Louis replies. ‘Played her part for the CCTV cameras perfectly. She’s back in her own country now.’
‘Where’s she from?’
‘Probably best I don’t say.’
I nod.
‘And – I’m just checking – no one else knows, apart from Lainy?’ Louis fixes me with a piercing stare.
‘Of course not. I’m not daft.’ In any case, there’s no one else to tell – my mother is dead, and I haven’t spoken to my father in years. I don’t have any really good friends – none who would miss me terribly. Jake never allowed me to get close to anyone. He always discouraged friendships, finding fault with everyone I ever introduced him to. Making it obvious that he disapproved. It’s something I’m nervous and excited about for the future – making new relationships away from the control of my husband.
‘Louis…’
‘What?’
‘I wanted to ask… was it you?’
‘Was what me?’ he asks, although the tilt of his head suggests he knows exactly what I’m talking about.
‘Outside the window. That first night?’
‘Of course it was me. Who else would it be, lurking in dark places?’ He smiles.
‘You almost gave me a heart attack, you know that, right?’
‘Apologies.’ He puts a hand to his heart.
‘And…’ I chew at the inside of my cheek.
‘What?’
‘Can you tell me…’
He raises an eyebrow.
‘Where did you… where’s Jake now?’ I’m scared of the answer, but I can’t help asking the question.
‘Look, Faye, like I said before, it’s better if you don’t know. You don’t need to ask those questions. That’s what you paid me for. Try to put it out of your mind. All you need to know is that he’ll never hurt you again. Okay?’
It will be hard not to know where Jake is. To not know how Louis dealt with him. Every day I ask myself if I’ve done the right thing. If I could have done things differently. But when you’re in the middle of a nightmare, frightened for your life, living in terror every day, you don’t think straight. You don’t act rationally. It took months to plan this and every one of those days was spent drowning in fear, trying to act as though nothing was wrong. Trying to present a calm exterior to my husband. I thought I would crumble and crack under the pressure. But I didn’t. I managed to hold it together. Mainly because I had Lainy to talk to. She was my rock during everything. I still don’t understand how two siblings can be so different.
My husband was a monster. I was scared for my life. And worse than that, I was terrified for Dylan’s future. If I had tried to leave with my son, Jake would have fought me for custody. He was clever. He could have won. And even if there was the tiniest chance of that happening, I couldn’t take the risk. Because if I wasn’t in his life as a punch bag, then he would have taken it out
on our son.
I follow Louis through to a charmingly rustic sitting room with a huge inglenook fireplace at one end. Through the open French doors, my heart swells as I catch a glimpse of Dylan running across a green lawn, throwing a tennis ball for a black and white collie dog. A part of me wonders if I’m a terrible person. If I’m actually as bad as my husband. After all, I’ve deprived my son of his father. I’ve done something that most people could never understand. But as I gaze at Dylan, I can’t feel any remorse for my actions. I feel only relief. Relief that I’m not living in terror any longer. Relief that I’ve shielded Dylan from certain pain. Mine and Dylan’s future may be uncertain, but at least it isn’t one filled with fear and violence. At least I’ve saved my son from that.
Louis hangs back while I cross the room and stand in the doorway, shading my eyes against the sun. Watching. Drinking in the sight of my beautiful Dylan.
Forty-Four
After a few moments, my son spots me. And for a split second he stands perfectly still on the lawn, like a picture from a bygone era.
‘Mummy!’ he yells and pelts towards me accompanied by his new four-legged friend.
I grin and run to meet him. ‘Dyls!’ I bend down and gather him into my arms, bury my nose into his neck, and inhale. This moment has been a long time coming. Although we were only parted for a few days, it feels like a lifetime.
He pulls away from me too soon, but his eyes are shining. ‘Mummy. This is Scout. He’s amazing. He can sit and lie down and high five. Can we get a dog? Where were you?’
‘Oh, Dyls, I missed you so much!’ My voice catches in my throat.
‘Me too.’ He rolls his eyes. ‘Why did I have to go with Louis? I mean, he’s nice and everything but I missed you.’
‘I told you… because we’re going to have an adventure and he’s the one who helped to arrange it. Did you watch the video?’ I gave Louis a recording to show my son. It was a video of me telling Dylan that it was safe to go with Louis. Telling him exactly what was going to happen, and that I would be coming soon to get him. It was a way to ensure that Dylan felt reassured. I’d spent so many years warning my child about not going off with strangers that I felt it was important for me to tell him Louis was a friend. I also made sure we met Louis beforehand, together.
We’d arranged to meet accidentally on purpose in an art gallery in Swanage, the night of Jake’s birthday. I hadn’t been keen, but Louis had insisted that if he was to take my son, then he wanted to meet him first – if only for a few minutes.
‘You sounded funny on the video,’ Dylan says, stroking Scout’s ear.
‘Funny?’
‘Yes, like you were going to cry.’
‘Oh.’ I hadn’t realised my emotions had shown up so strongly in my message to my son. I thought I’d covered them up so well. Obviously not.
‘Where did Daddy go? He went down the cliff to get this beautiful lady’s handbag – she dropped it down there – and then I couldn’t see him any more. But it was okay, because Louis was there to look after me.’
‘Let’s talk about all that later. Why don’t you show me some of Scout’s tricks?’
‘Oh. Okay. But, Mum, how long are we going to stay here? When are we going back home? Can we stay a bit longer? Because Louis said I can teach Scout some new tricks if I want.’
‘Well, we can stay here for a little while, maybe a few weeks. But then we’re going to a new home.’
‘With Scout?’ His eyes light up.
‘No. Sorry, Dyls. Scout belongs to Louis.’
‘With Daddy?’
‘No, I’m afraid Daddy can’t come. It’s just going to be the two of us, okay?’
Dylan frowns for a moment, and my guts twist. Once again, I worry that I’ve made the wrong call. That I should have found another way.
‘Is Daddy cross with us?’
‘Why do you think that?’
‘Because he’s always cross with you. And… I…’
‘You what?’
‘I get scared when he shouts.’
My heart cracks. I pull him close again and kiss the top of his head. ‘Daddy won’t shout at you any more.’
‘But what about you? Will he shout at you?’
‘No, my gorgeous boy. He won’t.’
‘Promise.’
I take a breath to steady my voice. To inject some lightness into it. ‘Pinky promise with chocolate buttons on top.’
Dylan smiles and his shoulders lose their tension. ‘Can I show you some of Scout’s tricks now?’
‘Yes please. I can’t wait to see them.’
‘Okay.’ Dylan stroke Scout’s head and commands him to stay. He walks away and then calls him over. I watch as the sheepdog obeys all Dylan’s excited commands, and I smile at Dylan’s total concentration on his new friend, my heart so full of love that it’s spilling over, running down my cheeks as tears. I try to wipe them away before he notices.
I don’t know how our futures will pan out. I don’t know whether Dylan will accept the lies I’m going to have to tell him. Lies to protect him from the fact that his father was violent. A murderer who was willing to frame his own sister. Although I realise that I too am now a murderer. I can’t lie to myself about what I’ve done, even if I didn’t carry out the act myself.
I wish I hadn’t had to put Dylan through the trauma of going off with Louis, but it was the only way I could think of to protect him. And that’s what all this has been about – protecting my child. I can’t regret what’s done. I can’t let guilt eat me up or it will all have been for nothing. No. I can’t dwell on the past. I have to look forward.
I vow with every fibre of my being to love my son and protect him for as long as there is breath in my body. Whatever happens, nothing will ever change that. It’s a vow I will never break.
Epilogue
Closing the suitcase with a click, Lainy straightens up and feels her shoulders relax for the first time in years. She can’t believe it’s finally happened – she is free of her brother. For good. Her whole body feels light and unencumbered. Like she’s just removed a crippling load from her back.
As planned, Faye has gone to France today to be reunited with Dylan. It won’t be easy for the two of them at first, but Louis assured Faye that he could get them impeccable false documentation so that she and Dylan will be able live abroad with no fear of anyone discovering what she’s done. Faye said she would dye her glorious red hair a nondescript shade of brown. They’ll lie low in France for a couple of months, and Faye plans to drive them east, find a small village where she can paint and maybe get some online commissions, and Dylan can integrate into a local school. Perhaps somewhere like Latvia or Hungary. She hadn’t decided yet.
Lainy never told Tom what she and Faye planned. He wouldn’t have understood. He’s always been a straight shooter. He would have insisted on finding another way. But actually, that’s what she loves about Tom – his solidity and goodness. He balances her out, and he’s the best father to their girls. But in this situation with her brother there was no other way. Not for Faye and not for Lainy. And certainly not for someone like Jake.
Tom has taken the girls for one last swim in the sea before the four of them drive back home to London. Term starts again next week, and she still hasn’t bought Poppy and Annabel’s’ new uniforms and stationery. Lainy’s already getting that sinking back-to-school feeling. At least she tells herself that’s what it is.
While Tom is out with the girls, Lainy said she’d stay at the house and finish packing up their things. The truth is, she needs the time to get her head straight. To be alone with her thoughts. To go over everything in her mind and let it settle.
It’s been hard – pretending to her husband that she didn’t know where Jake and Dylan were. Trying not to let anything slip. She and Faye agreed that they had to do everything they could to make it look like they knew nothing about their disappearance. They had to be convincingly shocked and upset. From joining in the searches, to leavi
ng worried messages on Jake’s phone. Even down to Faye leaving her passport at home. She couldn’t do anything that made it look as though she had planned any of this.
But the strain of pretending has left her drained. The strain on Faye was even worse. Lainy knew how terribly conflicted she was about the whole thing. It was Lainy who had to keep her sister-in-law focused. Had to keep telling her she was doing the right thing. That she had no other option. And even now the hardest part is over, things are still going to be tricky for Faye.
She’s gone to France without telling the authorities. And, okay, she is going to leave a message for DS Nash from France to let her know that she’s gone to look for Dylan. But Lainy is sure they won’t be happy about it. Maybe they’ll even suspect her of something. By then, hopefully, Faye will be off the grid. She and Dylan will have new identities and a new life. They will be safe. And that’s all Faye wanted for her son. A way to keep him safe. Lainy understands that maternal urge. She would face down the hounds of hell to keep her own daughters safe.
At first, the plan was simply to make it look as though Jake had run off with a woman, taking Dylan with him. But Louis said they had to be cleverer than that. They had to imagine they were Jake. Think about what he would do to get away with such a thing. If Jake were really planning to abduct his child and run off with a new woman, he would know that what he was doing was illegal – taking their child without the mother’s consent. He would realise that the authorities would search for him. So Louis surmised that Jake would probably have faked his and his son’s deaths to make it look like they’d had a tragic accident.
But, of course, with Louis ensuring they were caught on the CCTV cameras, the police would then discover that it was all a ruse. That Jake had tried to fool everyone and had in fact absconded to France. The authorities would come to the conclusion that Jake had purposely left Dylan’s baseball cap and traces of his own blood on the headland, to ensure everyone believed he had died in order to cover up his departure and abduction of Dylan. Never knowing that the whole thing had been perfectly orchestrated by Louis.
The Marriage Betrayal Page 21
