by Holly Evans
"They bitch that you're aloof, that you don't make any effort, but why should you? They're not going to keep you,” Raif replied.
"Well this is a fucking happy bonding topic,” I muttered as I walked over to Elise.
"You're the connection between them, Evie. Show Raif the love you show Lysander."
"I am not sharing,” Lysander snarled.
"There's more than one type of love,” Elise snapped.
Lysander lowered his eyes.
"My apologies, priestess."
She nodded and relaxed.
Raif lifted his chin, his muscles tensed and he crossed his arms over his chest.
“I do not expect such a bond from you, Evelyn. I have a good understanding of the situation,” Raif said.
"Are you always this angsty?" I replied.
"I am not being angsty, I am merely being honest,” he growled.
“Then you’ll understand my position. You are a lycan, a broken one, but one nonetheless. I have no reason to trust that your allegiance is with me. Work hard. Prove yourself, and we’ll get along fine,” I said.
He held my eye contact for a long moment before he smiled.
"I’m glad we had this talk," he said.
I bit my tongue. The conversation was over.
"You'll be a good mother someday, Evelyn,” Lysander said with a smile.
I shrugged. "I very much doubt that."
Raif seemed to listen to my words. We each put him through his paces with hand to hand combat and with blades. He was fast, strong, and quite skilled. I was pleasantly surprised. He listened to our criticisms and learned quickly. At the end of it, he tentatively offered some potential improvements for us. I had a bad habit of leaving my right side too open, and Lysander needed to become more comfortable with blades. By the end, everyone was in a much better mood; Lysander even smiled at the cub. I grudgingly accepted that there was a new person in our little group, and he had the potential to worm his way into my affections.
He and Lysander kept circling around each other, poking at each other. I left them to it. It seemed like a natural thing, assessing each other and being male at each other. They began sparring again when I asked Elise if her lady had any more news on the witch. She shook her head.
"She tells me that things will move as they need to, nothing more."
I grumbled to myself.
"You should be focusing on using your fire, Evie. That could be a useful skill, but you're ignoring it because you're afraid of it."
I refused to look at her. I kept going back and forth on the idea in my mind. I was a hunter, a normal human, but I had a skill that could save lives and protect my city.
"Stop viewing the world as so black and white, Evie. You've never had a problem with my magic, you've accepted Lysander, would it be so fucking awful if you were magical, too?"
I looked at her in shock. She waved her hand.
"I'm tired of it, Evie. I love you, I really do, but stop shutting down and hiding from something that could help you. Stop denying yourself happiness. You have opportunities that many people would kill for."
"I never asked for any of this."
"But you were given it, so stop squandering it!"
I took a long deep breath. I knew she was right. I hated it. I hated the implications, but she was right.
"What am I?" I asked softly.
"You're many things, Evie, does your blood matter so much?"
"Yes."
"Would it stop you from loving Lysander if you suddenly found out you were a demonic nymph? Would it take away your achievements? Your passions?"
I sighed heavily. She spoke the truth, and it hurt.
"I understand your desire to know, but stop letting it shape you. That is what stands between you and your fire."
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to accept that my heritage, the questions… didn't change me. They didn't form me. I was Evelyn Hawke.
That was what mattered.
Quin and Lysander had apparently arranged to have a boys’ night in at our flat. I wasn’t told until Kadrix and Quin showed up with bottles of alcohol and pizza. Lysander grinned at them and helped them gather plates and glasses. I stood in the doorway and watched; what was I even supposed to do with that? Kadrix looked at me and gestured at the spare seat.
"Do sit down, Evelyn, I'm not going to wait on you hand and foot."
I raised an eyebrow. "You're aware this is my home, correct?"
He waved his hand at me and sat down, taking a slice of pizza for himself.
"Don't worry sis, we remember that you're the alpha."
The men all laughed, including the cub. I painted a calm smile on my face. I wasn't going to let them win. It took Kadrix all of two bites before he started.
"Cub, what are you, exactly?"
"His name is Raif,” Lysander growled between bites.
The cub smirked at Lysander; apparently their canid rituals were going well.
Kadrix's mouth tightened into a small line before he nodded and said, "Raif, what are you?"
The cub looked away and placed his slice of pizza down on his plate. Lysander narrowed his eyes and slowly reached his hand over to the half-eaten slice. I glared at him; he scowled and took a fresh slice of a different pizza.
Finally, the cub looked at Kadrix and said stiffly, "I don't know. I come from lycans. I want to make my pack proud."
Kadrix chewed his pizza slice.
Quin had the good sense to turn the topic of conversation to something more palatable. I wasn’t paying enough attention to entirely follow it. I got as far as knowing that someone was screwed over in a business deal before they slept with someone else.
Kadrix pursed his lips and said, "Interesting. I saw Genevieve flirting very openly with James in the coffee shop at 7am this morning; Dante clearly didn't satisfy her needs."
The cub choked on his pizza slice. Lysander burst into laughter. I had to laugh with them.
Kadrix grinned and everyone relaxed.
That was until Kadrix looked at Raif and said, "Are you a virgin?"
I covered my mouth and tried desperately not to choke on my pizza. I gulped down some beer and remembered to breathe. The poor cub had turned a rather interesting shade of red; the guys were all looking at him with poker faces.
Raif narrowed his eyes at the elf before he put on his own poker face. “I can’t say that I’ve had the opportunity to be otherwise.”
Kadrix nodded and the others laughed again. Raif stuffed his mouth with more pizza and knocked it back with half a bottle of beer.
Quin grinned at him. “I hope you can hold that beer."
He nodded enthusiastically.
The guys seemed satisfied to leave poor Raif alone once he'd returned to his normal colour; instead, they gossiped like old women about other alchemists and such around the city. Kadrix was far worse than any woman I'd ever met. He knew who was sleeping with whom, who'd done which business deal; it was quite something. Once the pizza was finished, everyone settled onto the sofa and armchairs. Raif sat next to Quin, who had Kadrix on the other side of him on the sofa. Lysander sprawled out over an armchair, and I curled up in the other. I didn't quite fit, it was clearly a boys' night, but I was trying not to be rude. We'd all had a few beers, but Raif was feeling it more than the rest of us.
He frowned and looked between Quin and Kadrix before he said, "So... you're gay right? Does that mean..."
Quin didn't need to hear the rest. A dark smile formed on his face and he leaned closer to Raif while he placed his hand on the cub's knee. Slowly, he moved his hand up Raif's leg.
His lips were almost touching the cub's ear when he said, "Would you like that?"
Raif's eyes went wide, he glanced to Lysander for some support, and he swallowed hard. "I well… it’s very rare to have a gay lycan, so I don’t really know… that is to say…”
Quin pulled back and put his arm around Kadrix's slender shoulders. "Don't worry, I only have eyes for Kadrix."
>
With that, they all howled with laughter. Raif sighed with relief and laughed along with them.
I decided it was time for me to leave them to it. Without a word and headed to my bedroom and tried to clear my mind and focus. Elise's words had stung. She'd been right, she was always fucking right. It was time for me to see what I could do. Taking a deep breath, I sat cross legged in the middle of the bedroom floor. It was time for me to crack the hellfire thing.
The guys' voices filtered through into the bedroom; they were getting louder and laughing again. It irked me, to be pushed outside of the group. Logically, it made sense, but I held onto the anger and tried to use it. It formed a small ball just behind my sternum, in my mind's eye I saw it as a dark ball surrounded with bright blue flames. I shut out their voices and focused entirely on the ball as I brought it up and split it, sending one down my left arm, the other down my right arm. I could do it.
The balls were sitting in the palms of my hands, I felt the bizarre flickering feeling of the flames slowly forming over my wrists and my hands. I didn't dare open my eyes to check that I wasn't imagining it. I had to focus. A slow exhalation allowed me to continue to focus as the balls grew larger encompassing my entire hands. The flickering warmth spread up over my arms; I couldn't resist, I had to look. Pale yellow flames covered my hands and danced up my arms. It wasn't the raging inferno I'd hoped for, but it was a damn good start.
Elation bubbled up; the flames flickered and dulled. Taking another deep breath, I focused once more. Failure was not an option.
Time was irrelevant. I was determined to control the fire. My emotions were becoming less of a problem. I allowed myself to feel the sheer glee at having formed the blue flames over my hands, and they remained there. The progress was real; I was really doing it.
"I'm proud of you, Evelyn."
I hadn't even noticed the door opening. Lysander stood in the doorway, casually leaning against it. He could have been there for hours for all I knew. I grinned up at him and managed to maintain most of the fire. It cooled to a mix of yellows and oranges, but it was there. Taking a long deep breath, I extinguished it and stood. He shut the door and pulled me close to him, nuzzling my neck.
"You've come so far."
A flicker of anger at his having pushed me aside in favour of his boys’ night, within my own home, bloomed. I pushed it aside; he deserved the night. I may not have planned it, but it had given me the time and space that I needed to make real progress with my fire.
I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his waist, enjoying the pride and happiness of the moment.
His lips brushed my neck; a shiver skittered down my spine. I gently bit his bottom lip. There were benefits to embracing the supernatural world, and I intended on enjoying them all night long.
I woke up to Lysander trailing his fingers over my stomach; I smiled over at him.
"Raif will fit in well. I understand his pain," he said without prompting. "He has been pushed aside most of his life. He was an object, bartered and traded. This is his final stop, and it will be his home."
I ran my hand up over his ribs and kissed him tenderly. "He seems as though he has some potential."
A small smile spread over his lips. "He sees everything, has quite a sharp mind."
"You're growing fond of him,” I teased.
He gave a shrug and got out of bed, giving me a wonderful view.
"He has potential, it would be a shame to ignore that."
Much to my disappointment, he pulled on a pair of boxers and jeans. With a melodramatic sigh, I pulled on one of his shirts and followed him out into the living area. The shirt came almost down to my knees, but I couldn't help feeling a little self-conscious with Raif right there. He was in my home. I was going to wear what I damn well pleased. The cub was sprawled out on the sofa; his jeans were tangled around his ankles, his shirt was half over the back of the sofa, and his blankets were half on, half off him. He slowly opened his eyes and groaned. Lysander threw the curtains open, and I looked in the fridge for some food.
"Why?" Raif wailed.
Lysander grinned. "It's a beautiful day, you should enjoy it."
The sunlight streamed in. He was right, it was a beautiful day.
Quin and Kadrix soon appeared; they looked fresh and happy.
Kadrix frowned. "What's wrong with the cub? Is he ill?"
We laughed. "He just has a hangover."
Kadrix nodded and took a seat. "He's young, his body needs to be toughened up to the pleasures of life."
"That's not quite how I would have put it,” Lysander said with a laugh.
Raif groaned and squinted at the window while he pulled his clothes on.
Quin pushed me aside. “I'll make breakfast, Evie, Raif's ill enough without your help."
I shrugged; it saved me some effort.
Kadrix didn't stay for long. He ate a pastry before he kissed Quin's cheek and left with words about a business transaction. Quin was far more relaxed. He was almost glowing.
"Tell all,” I said as I poked him in the ribs.
He smiled. "We've had a talk and reached an arrangement that suits both of us."
He glanced at Raif. The cub was absorbed in his bacon and eggs, entirely oblivious to the world around him.
"We will not be monogamous; however, we will share anyone that we decide to take to bed."
I smiled and patted his upper arm. “If it makes you happy, it makes me happy."
He nodded. "It does. It's... odd, but he's worth it."
Lysander growled and muttered under his breath. I smiled sweetly at him.
"Worried I'll get some ideas, dear hound?" He scowled at me, and I laughed. "Don't worry, you're enough for me."
Once we'd finished eating breakfast, I started forming the fire around my hands. I wanted to practise. Raif looked at me with some alarm.
"What, you're fine with a hellhound, but a bit of fire scares you?" I said nonchalantly.
"He would kill me quickly, fire would be a slow painful death,” he said with his eyes fixed on the flames.
I tilted my head and pushed a little more fire through my hands. “Do you think I'd kill you?"
"You're Evelyn Hawke,” he said as he took a step backwards.
"You had no qualms with me last night."
"You weren't on fire last night."
"Evelyn, leave the poor cub be,” Lysander said.
I pouted at him and said, "Spoil sport,” as I extinguished them.
"Don't worry little wolf, I won't harm you. Unless you misbehave."
Quin and Lysander had mothered Raif, telling him that I wouldn't set him on fire. I smiled sweetly at him and let the flames dance across my fingers when the guys weren't looking. If he was going to live in my home, then I was going to have a little fun. We decided to go for a run. It was good to keep us fit, and it was nice to be together a group. It felt like it'd been so long since Quin had been with us. They'd made it clear that despite my claims to being alpha, I wasn't trading or abandoning the cub; if nothing else, we didn’t want to offend Felix and his pack. Truth be told, he wasn't a bad guy, I just didn't see why I should dote on him and make his transition easy. Life was a bitch.
They all wore sensible running attire: running shoes, sweatpants, and T-shirts. I wore my jeans, boots, and shirt. That was what I'd have to run in if I was chasing down a witch or running away from a horde of zombies, so that was what I was wearing. Quin had raised an eyebrow and muttered something under his breath; the other two just smiled and let me get on with it. They clearly knew how this worked. We headed out around the first park, past the trees and manicured flower beds, and headed down towards the river. There were no real plans for the day, so we'd planned to continue down the river until we got to the Charles Bridge, battle our way through the tourists, then drop in and annoy Kadrix.
The air was fresh and laden with the scent of the flowers, sweet and bright. We kept an easy pace with Quin in the lead, the cub just behind him, and Lysa
nder at my side. The river lazily meandered next to us, rooks watched us and hopped from tree to tree, hoping for some nice treat. The pigeons waddled away at a rather sedate pace; they knew nothing was going to hurt them. I hadn't had squab in a long time, and they looked like good healthy specimens. My pace was lost for a moment while I tried to figure out if those were my thoughts or Lysander's. I still hadn't figured out the bond properly. Some thoughts and feelings filtered through, but I couldn't be entirely sure when it happened.
It had to happen. We were enjoying the run, the sun was shining, fluffy white clouds scudded across the bright blue sky, then there they were. We slowed to a walk when we saw the two huge ice wolves. I recognised them that time, and given the snarl that came from Lysander, he did, too. They were somehow even more concerning in the bright light of day, their thick white fur shimmering with soft blues and greys. Faint lines flickered around them, perhaps two inches above their fur. Raif stepped forward in front of Quin. The wolves approached us, heads low, legs stiff, hackles raised. I looked around; a few tourists were milling around, but they didn't seem particularly concerned. A man came down the steps from the street above. His legs seemed slightly too long, his strides too fluid. Once he reached the broad cobbled road that ran alongside the river, we saw why. He was an abomination. His face rippled and flickered between man and beast, his eyes burned an ochre colour.
Raif took another step forward; he hadn't noticed the abomination that came at us from the side. Lysander was tense, waiting. Quin had an alchemy pouch in his hands, and I'd already slipped my celestial blades into mine. There was no reason to start a fight if we didn't have to, but there was no reason not to be prepared. The abomination walked on the balls of his feet. His legs were an odd shape. His jeans ended just above his malformed ankles. The creature growled; his muscles tightened. I groaned.
The abomination's head snapped around, his gaze focused on the cub. A dark growling laugh came from his throat as he looked the cub up and down. The wolves approached, their movements almost comically slow as they stalked the cub. They weren't within striking range. We waited.
