by Holly Jaymes
We’d taken a break for lunch, and I was reviewing the script. Although we’d discussed it the night before, we hadn’t finished answering my questions because we’d gotten distracted by sex. Since it was the last day, I figured it would be no big deal to go to his trailer to ask him my question about the scene.
I was about to knock on the door when I heard voices inside and realized he was with somebody. I figured I’d wait a few minutes to see if they finished up and then I could talk to him. I stood outside the door and could vaguely make out Corrine’s voice. I leaned against the trailer, waiting until they were finished. Finally, it sounded like they were ending their discussion so I straightened away from the trailer, expecting her to come out.
“By the way, whatever you did to woo Madeline into getting a performance out of her during the shoot, you did a great job, Theo.”
My gut clenched. He wooed me for a performance? I shook my head because that couldn’t be right.
“I just hope that she hasn’t fallen for that wolfish charm of yours.”
“You don’t give a shit,” Theo said. “You just don’t want to look like you’re a sexist or misogynist like us men." His voice was rough and angry, but what I didn’t hear was a denial from him.
“I suppose you're right," she said. “It doesn’t sit well with me if you were seducing her simply so we could have great chemistry on set. But in the end, this is a business, Theo. We all have to do what we have to do.”
I felt physically sick.
“We have to do what we have to do,” he repeated.
I knew I was going to be sick. I hurried off to my trailer and into the restroom as my lunch came up. All this time with him had been part of a scheme to maintain the chemistry between us for the film. Here I was, falling in love with a man who wasn’t just acting on the set, but off it as well.
My stomach heaved again at how stupid I was to fall for it. When I first met Theo Wolfe, I thought he was an asshole, but now I realized he was much worse than that.
Once I emptied my stomach and brushed my teeth, my first instinct was to walk off the set. My second instinct was to go back to his trailer and give him a piece of my mind. But if I was going to have a future in the industry, I would have to be a professional. If he could act in his real life as well as on set, so could I.
I found a bottle of eyedrops and put them in my eyes to hide the redness of my tears and then I headed to makeup and hair for a touchup in case my utter devastation showed up on my face. Once I finished there, I made my way to the set, this time a crowded bar.
He walked on the set and because we were supposed to pretend like we weren’t into each other, which I’d just learned he didn’t have to pretend about at all, he said “hello” and gave me an easy smile.
Lucky for me, the scene required that I hate Theo Wolfe or at least Jack Cole as played by Theo. At this moment in time, hating him required very little acting on my part. I didn’t just hate Theo. I loathed him. I thought he was the most despicable and disgraceful man on Earth.
We started the scene with the basic banter that quickly grew into a shouting match of words. In every put-down, every nasty thing Nicolette called him, it was actually me, Madeline calling out Theo. In some cases, I didn’t feel the dialogue went deep enough into how awful he was, and so I threw in my own input. I added lines about what a disgrace to the human race he was. I pointed out that it was no wonder that people didn’t respect him, or always dismissed him, because he was a sociopath, fake and phony.
Then I cranked my hand back, resisting the urge to make a fist, and I let it fly as it landed hard, square on his cheek, knocking his head to the side and forcing him back a step.
Corrine called, “Cut. Jesus, Madeline, you’re not supposed to really hit him.”
His hand pressed against his cheek and he shook his head slightly, like he was trying to get his brain to settle back in place. That little move made me feel triumphant.
Then, doing exactly what Theo had been doing since the moment I met him, I plastered on a fake, sheepish smile. “Whoops, sorry.”
Theo attempted an affable smile. “Remind me to never get on your bad side.”
“Too late.”
His brows furrowed Like maybe now he was just realizing something wasn’t right.
We did the scene again, and because I was ready to be done with all of this, especially Theo Wolfe, I did my best to stick to the script so that we could get it finished in as few takes as possible. This time, I said the lines and slapped him like I was supposed to do the first time. And when Corrine said to cut and then called it a wrap, I turned and walked off the set, heading straight to my trailer.
I was done with filming and so while there were few people stopping by to congratulate me and say goodbye, once I thanked them, I hurried to pack my things and get off the set as quickly as possible. I cleaned out my trailer and then walked to where a car sat, waiting to take me home. I nearly reached it when I heard my name called. I told myself to keep walking because I didn’t want to talk to Theo Wolfe. Especially out in public, because I would likely give something away about how we’d been spending our evenings.
“Madeline,” he said a little bit more forcefully, and I felt his fingers wrap around my arm to stop me.
I whipped around. “What?” I did my best to make my face look pleasant in case anybody was watching, but if he was looking closely, he’d see my disgust of him in my eyes.
“What's going on?" he asked.
“What do you mean? We’re two actors on a set acting, and now I’m done, so I’m going home. Isn’t that what we agreed to?” I said, my lips dripping with sarcasm.
He looked down on me, his brows pulled together like he was completely baffled. He scanned the area around us as if to gauge who might be listening in.
Then he leaned a little bit closer to me. “Are you angry at me? Did I do something?”
I let out a derisive laugh. “It really says something about you that you don’t have any clue at what you did. You’re worse than I even first thought.”
He jerked back like I’d slapped him again. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“Oh come on, Theo. We’re finished here. You don’t have to pretend anymore.”
“Pretend what?”
I had to hand it to him. He was a good actor. He looked completely agape.
“You don’t have to seduce me anymore to get the performance you want. We’re done.”
“Oh, fuck.” He drew both his hands through his hair and looked up to the sky as if he were praying, but I’d be surprised if God was going to help someone like Theo Wolfe. Then he looked back at me. “That's not what was going on.”
I stared at him, wondering how I could’ve fallen for him. “I don’t believe you.”
He stepped up to me, his expression looking a little bit more desperate. “Please, Madeline. It’s not what you think-”
“It doesn’t matter now, does it, Theo? I’m done on the film. You’ll be done shortly. It seems like now’s a good time to move on anyway. It’s not like any of this was real, right?”
“That’s not true. At least not for me.”
“It’s too bad that you can’t send this little performance to the Oscar committee, because I’m sure you would win.” I turned away from him, heading to my car that seemed a million miles away.
“Madeline, wait.” Theo caught up to me again but I pulled my arm out of his grip. “Please, we have to talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about, Theo. You did your job. I fell for it. Now the job is over. We both move on.”
He looked around. The driver of my car was watching us and a few other people had stopped to see what was going on.
He let out an exasperated breath and then said in a low tone, “Come up to my place tonight so we can talk.”
“I won’t be coming up to your place anymore.”
I got into the car and was glad when the driver pulled out into traffic and away from T
heo. He drove me back to the condo. As I rode the elevator up to the eighth floor, I realized now was as good a time as any for me to find my own place. I couldn’t go on living in the same building that Theo lived in. I didn’t think I would ever be able to face him again.
Of course, I would have to when the movie came out because there would be media appearances that I’d likely have to do with him. But that was nearly a year away. I had that time to get over what Theo had done to me.
When I got to my room, I saw the script for the historical movie set to film in Croatia. I called my agent and told her to let the director know that I was indeed interested and that I’d be flying out to California tonight so I’d be able to meet with him whenever convenient.
I bought a ticket on the first plane I could get that night, I packed my bag, ordered a car, and called my sister on the way to the airport to let her know my plans. I figured now was a good time to be away as she and her boyfriend were heating things up. As it turned out, his news was that he’d found a job at another firm, and since he wasn’t her boss anymore, they could date. In fact, now that I was gone, he could move in with her.
As the plane left the ground, my heart dropped, but I lifted my chin and looked out the window as New York fell away. I refocused on my plans. I was going to rebuild my career, and forget Theo Wolfe.
Time to Move On
Theo
Fuck, fuck, fuck! I watched with a mixture of panic and disbelief as Madeline ran away from me and got into the car to leave. What the hell had happened? Last night had been an evening of near perfection, and then today it all fell apart. I couldn’t wrap my head around what had changed. The only thing that I could think of was that she’d overheard Corrine talking to me. Or maybe Corrine had said something. Whatever it was, Madeline hated me.
I suspected something was up when she began to ad-lib her dialogue using angrier and meaner lines. But then she clocked me hard with her slap, and I knew something had to be up. When we did the scene again, she did it as written and performed it perfectly, which had me wondering if I misinterpreted her earlier take. But I hadn’t. She believed that everything between us had been fake. A ruse to make her perform, and she was pissed. Why the hell hadn’t I told Corrine the truth? Even more so, why hadn’t I told Madeline how I really felt?
For a moment. I considered telling her everything right there, out in the open in front of the driver and everybody else who was gathering as they noticed something up between me and Madeline. But I was already in trouble, with her thinking that I had been faking our relationship, I didn’t want to get into even more trouble by outing us. The one thing she’d been clear on was that she didn’t want people to know because she didn’t want it to hurt her reputation. So instead of telling her it was real and that I was in love with her, I had to watch her leave.
I considered running after but there was work to be done, and leaving in the middle of the day to pursue her would probably make people talk, which was the thing we’d been trying to avoid. So reluctantly, I headed back to my trailer. I poured myself a drink, downed it and then threw the glass and listened as it shattered on the wall.
I stayed in my trailer until I received a knock on the door telling me that I was due on set. I was an actor. I was paid to push away my own personal feelings and my true personality, and instead, act like another human being. So I pulled myself together and I exited my trailer as Jack Cole.
I wasn’t sure how I got through the day, but somehow I did. A few times, Corrine would give me feedback or direction, and I took it, but other times she kept her mouth shut and I felt she knew that I was pissed. It was probably why she closed things down a little bit earlier than she might have.
When the day was done, I hurried off the set and into my car, telling my driver to get me home as fast as he could. Of course, we were in the middle of Manhattan, so fast wasn’t really an option.
On the drive, I thought about calling Madeline, but decided a text would more likely be seen. I messaged her, telling her I was on my way and begging her to meet with me so that I could explain. I texted a couple of times because she didn’t respond, but then I realized the reason she wasn’t replying was because she’d blocked me.
“Fuck!” Now what was I going to do?
“Is there something wrong, Mr. Wolfe?” My driver asked from the front seat.
“Nothing you can help me with. Thanks.” All I could do was sit and wait for the traffic until we reached my condo building. When we finally pulled up out front, I rushed out of the car and into the building and the elevator. I was smart enough to know that I wasn’t going to get her up to the twentieth floor, so I poked the button for the eighth to see her at her place.
I pounded on the door as nerves and panic, and even anger rattled through my body and out the end of my fist.
The door swung open and a man not much older than me answered. “What the hell?” he greeted me with.
“Who the fuck are you?” I asked. I knew I had some nerve. It was none of my business. But I wasn’t going to take it well if she had another man in her place.
“Who the fuck are you?” His eyes narrowed as they took me in. My ego said it was impossible for him to not know who I was.
I shook my head, trying to get rid of the scramble of emotions and thoughts running through it so that I could focus on the issue at hand. “Is Madeline here?”
“No, she's gone.”
“Gone? Gone like she’s out for the evening or gone as in gone forever?” I had been sure that if I could see and talk to her, I could convince her that what she’d heard wasn’t true. But if she had left, how could I talk to her? A new panic crept up my spine.
“Alex, who is it?” Nadine appeared behind him. She stopped short. “Oh. You.” Her tone told me that she knew exactly what happened on set today.
“Where’s Madeline? I need to talk to her.” I was trying to keep my tone calm, but I was also willing to do just about anything to make sure I could see Madeline and explain to her what was going on. I’d push through this door if I had to.
“She's gone,” Nadine said simply.
“Gone where? Where can I find her? I need to talk to her.”
“Why? So you can feed her some fancy lines like you did before? I don’t think so.”
I let out an expletive under my breath. “No, she’s got it all wrong. I need to talk to her.”
“Well, she’s not here. She’s got a new movie opportunity and she’s left for California. So you’re going to have to get over it.” Nadine pushed the man out of the way and shut the door in my face.
“Goddammit.” I had no choice but to return to my own place. When I got there, I started to pour two fingers of bourbon, but then decided to bring the bottle with me to the couch. I hated that Madeline thought I was a total complete douchebag asshole jerkwad. But I also hated that she thought I’d use her like that. Maybe I hadn’t told her I loved her, but hadn’t I been good to her? Hadn’t I opened up myself enough for her to know that I wouldn’t manipulate her in that way? The guilt that I had over not correcting Corrine which led to Madeline feeling betrayed, now morphed into anger that she believed I was the type of person to do that.
I sat on the couch drinking my bottle of bourbon and began to seethe. I’d given her more than I’d given any woman before. Hell, I’d driven up to Woodstock, acting like a fucking chump because I missed her so much. I touched her last night like she was the only woman in the world because she was the only woman in the world. The only one for me anyway.
But to her, I was a man who would use sex and seduction to manipulate a performance out of an actress. By the time I finished the bottle, my entire body had gone numb. Everything except my heart, which felt like it had been torn apart into a million pieces.
I woke up the next morning feeling like shit, but I wasn’t completely sure if it was the hangover or at losing Madeline. I was still torn between being pissed at myself for not correcting Corrine and letting her get me in this mess, or
being pissed at Madeline for believing that I was as big an asshole as she seemed to think I was.
Madeline was right about one thing though; I should win an Oscar for the way I was able to get my ass to work and do my job while hiding the fact that my heart was broken and my brain was drowning in bourbon.
At the end of the day, I went home as usual, and because I was so pathetic, I made another attempt at texting Madeline. Maybe after a night away, her anger had dissipated and she realized that I wasn’t a jerk. But again, the text bounced back as blocked.
“Fucking A.” I headed up to my apartment, pretty much planning to do what I’d done the night before; drink my feelings away into oblivion. This time though, I decided to use a glass and switch to vodka.
After pouring myself three fingers, I took it out and sat on the terrace. It was September, so it was still warm, but the feel of fall coming was in the air. I sat on one of my lounge chairs and closed my eyes, wishing for the pain to stop.
My phone buzzed, interrupting me. Looking at the caller ID, I saw was my publicist. I didn’t really want to talk to her and yet, on the other hand, maybe talking to her would distract me, so I picked up the phone.
“Hey, Theo, how are you doing?”
“I’m alright,” I lied.
“I just wanted to give you the heads up that all the dates are set for your public appearances on the release of Earthshot.”
I scraped a hand over my face. I’d forgotten that movie was coming out sometime around Halloween. It had been almost a year since I’d finished it.
