by Drew Cordell
“You’ve got a deal,” I responded, thankful to rid myself of the debt.
“We will continue for a while then. We need to keep working on your layering before we progress to other matters. Needless to say, anything you learn from me and everything we discuss is private. You can’t tell anyone. If you do, our agreement will be void, and you will never see me again. You also need to know that telling someone else what we discuss could lead to both of your deaths.”
“I understand completely, sir,” I replied.
“Good, but drop the sir, you make me feel older than I already am. Now, you are undoubtedly executing some degree of layering right now at all times. Simply put, layering is the ability to create mental barriers which separate individual ideas and thoughts from your conscious and subconscious. Our subconscious is what makes layering so difficult. It influences our thoughts and feelings without our direct control. What I’m going to teach you is how to actively control your subconscious mind. When we are able to control our brains completely, there is very little we cannot accomplish.”
I was baffled. How could I control something automatic while retaining control over the active part of my brain? “Can this actually be learned?” I asked.
“When you didn’t think of An Essay Concerning Human Understanding when I mentioned the name, you exhibited brief control over your subconscious mind. You were thinking so intently that you put regions of your brain which are usually passive to active use. While distractions are a great way to introduce the concept, they won’t get you far. I’m going to teach you to unlock your brain, and you must forgive how I’m going to start.”
I gave him a quizzical look.
“I want you to think about your parents.”
I wasn’t expecting that, and it hit me hard. The amount of memories I had buried and left undisturbed was staggering. I hadn’t thought about my parents or the accident in months. The sudden surge of emotion was powerful, and I suppressed the tears attempting to well in my eyes.
“I know it’s something you don’t like to talk about and something you likely don’t think of often. If you’ll forgive the personal nature of my question, how long has it been since you’ve actively thought of them?”
“Months,” I muttered.
He nodded, his face solemn. “I’m truly sorry this is the best example, but it can’t be surpassed in helping you understand. You use part of your subconscious actively every waking minute of your life suppressing thoughts and reflections of your parents by ignoring external stimuli that would trigger such memories. You’ve trained your subconscious mind to reject stimuli, therefore creating a mental barrier which layers your thoughts and memories from your active, conscious mind. It’s incredible.”
“It makes sense, but how do I learn to do something like that? Isn’t my subconscious mind doing it passively and without my direct consent?”
“Yes and no. You’ve accepted the fact that thinking of your parents ultimately leads you to pain. In response, your brain has layered those memories and protects them to a certain degree from external stimuli. The barrier you’ve created with your layering isn’t strong enough to prevent you from not thinking about them when you hear a direct mention, but it is strong enough to create a barrier which stops you from thinking about them when faced with stimuli that doesn’t directly relate to them. Seeing children with their parents, walking past places you visited with them as a young boy, things of that nature you are able to tune out. On the other hand, I’m sure you have trouble with familiar smells all the time. Even I struggle with smells sometimes.”
“Why can I tune out some visual stimuli but not certain smells?”
“Smells trigger brain response in the area of our brain that is mostly emotional in nature; powerful aromatic stimuli can overcome even the most shielded of minds. Layering and creating a single barrier won’t be enough. In the end, you’ll have to be able to break down thoughts and memories into smaller components and store them in multiple parts of your brain behind multiple barriers. We won’t be working on this for a long time. For now, we will focus on simple barriers and one level of layering. I don’t expect your layering to be strong; I just want to see that you are developing the foundation needed to learn what I have to teach.”
“Before we get started, can you show me how you perform layering and prevent yourself from thinking thoughts?” I asked.
Mr. Barton smiled. “Of course, Jake. I don’t expect you to take what I say at face value without first seeing what you can accomplish through my training.” He picked up the headgear and attached it to his head before flipping the switch on the Collector. Mr. Barton handed me the datapad and pointed to the parameter field.
“Enter anything you’d like there and then tell me. If I think it, then the light will blink red.”
I typed ‘coffee’ into the parameter field. If Mr. Barton said he could ignore any stimuli, then I wanted to test him with the aroma. “All right, don’t think about coffee.” The light didn’t blink. “What’s the secret to your brew? How many scoops of ground coffee per cup of water? Is there a special way you grind the coffee beans?” The light didn’t blink. I reached beside him and grabbed the closed bag of coffee and held it up to his eyes. He looked directly at the bag and gave a slight smile. The light still didn’t blink. I pulled open the bag and wafted air toward Mr. Barton, the sweet smell of coffee beans flooding the room. Somehow the light still hadn’t flashed.
“Eat a coffee bean,” I said.
Mr. Barton shrugged and popped a bean in his mouth. He crunched audibly and yet the light still hadn’t flashed red. “All right, I believe you,” I managed, clearly impressed with his abilities.
“Once your brain is unlocked, you’ll be amazed at what it can do. Let’s get back to work,” he said, tossing another coffee bean into his mouth.
7 MIND GAMES
∆∆∆
Mr. Barton trained me for six hours a day for a month straight. I found myself spending more time with him than without him. Mary had begun to join us for dinner at his flat almost every evening. While we couldn’t talk about what I was learning to do, it was great to share a meal with them.
Mr. Barton liked to cook, and we enjoyed helping him when possible. The tasks he gave Mary and me were usually pretty simple, but it was nice to see how basic ingredients could be combined to form something greater than the sum of their parts. Mary had a natural affinity for cooking that extended well beyond my ability. When Mr. Barton noticed, he began allocating more advanced tasks to her which could jeopardize the overall quality of the meal if they were performed incorrectly. I was never offered the opportunity for such tasks, and it didn’t bother me.
Though Mr. Barton and I had only practiced layering, I was already able to create simple barriers for any thoughts that were relatively durable. I expected either advanced lessons in layering or to finally learn some new history soon.
“Jake?” Mary asked, waving an arm in front of my face.
“Huh?” I snapped out of my thoughts.
“Can you pass me the pepper?”
“Sure.” I handed her the small canister of pepper, and she sprinkled some into the simmering pot of soup before turning to Mr. Barton. He stood expressionless, watching her closely. Mary added a little more pepper and he flashed her a grin, pleased with the increased seasoning.
The aroma of the homemade soup flooded the flat, and I couldn’t believe how hungry I was. After the soup simmered for another half hour, we sat down to eat. Mr. Barton brought out a large loaf of wheat bread and broke it for us, passing out large chunks to Mary and me before placing one on his plate. The soup was perfect; I was always amazed with Mary and Mr. Barton’s cooking. When I had finished my third bowl of soup, I used the crust from the bread to mop up the remaining broth in my bowl.
“So Mary, any chance you have any of your artwork with you? Jake has told me a lot about your talent over the past year,” Edgar said. I felt my heart drop, unsure of where he was going.<
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She blushed and gave me a quick nervous smile. “Uh, yeah,” she said. Mary walked over to her backpack and pulled out a crudely bound sketchbook filled with pulp paper made with chemicals that smelled like beef. She brought it over to Mr. Barton. He flipped through the pages appreciatively.
“These are quite good,” he said with approval. “But I’m afraid Jake did you an injustice in his description of the artwork by calling your work wonderful. These are even better than wonderful,” he said with a smile. Everything on the inside of me tensed, and I felt Mary’s gaze on me as I ate, her eyes dancing with thought as she considered what he’d told her. I looked over and gave her a tiny smile, trying not to blush.
She broke into a grin before turning back to Mr. Barton. “Thank you.”
After we finished our meal, Mary left early so she could stop by a store before curfew. I decided to stay and talk with Mr. Barton more before I retired to my flat for the night.
“Jake, I picked something up for you the other day. I got a great deal on it, so don’t worry about paying me back.” He pulled out a small leather-bound sketchbook and flipped through the pages, revealing white archival grade paper. “I figured you can give it to Mary as a gift,” he said.
I couldn’t help but blush. “If you’re sure I can’t buy it from you. This looks quite valuable,” I said as I flipped through the small treasure.
“Only paid ten credits for it. My treat,” he said with a wink.
I pocketed the book.
“I’d like you to get here a bit early tomorrow; we’ve got a big lesson to work on. You’ve learned the layering needed to progress to subdivided operating.”
“Yes, sir,” I responded automatically. Mr. Barton frowned at this.
“Jake, please just call me Edgar. No more sir, and only Mr. Barton in formal occasions. I would also appreciate you relaying the same information to Mary. You two make me feel a lot older than I’d like to feel,” he said.
“All right Mr. – Edgar,” I managed.
I grabbed my backpack and shook Edgar’s hand before returning to my flat. I had spent little time in my own flat over the past couple of weeks. I was surprised at how bored I was on my own time now. I could practice creating barriers with my mind and layering my thoughts, but I had no way of telling if my subconscious mind was betraying me without the indicator of the Collector. I decided against practicing alone for fear of developing the wrong intuition. I settled on brewing a cup of tea and sitting in front of my computer console. I might as well practice some mathematics and chemistry. I steered clear of the free history and literature lessons available through my flat’s computer system. I was close to getting my certification in intermediate chemistry. It would cost five units to take the certification test, but I decided it wasn’t worth the extra mental strain during my time as a student under Edgar.
If things didn’t work out with Edgar’s colleagues, perhaps I would pursue a career in reactor maintenance in the Undercity. With my knowledge of chemistry, I could probably get the job and also get free advanced chemistry lessons. Without employment in a Government position that dealt with chemistry, certain classes were off limits to the civilian population. Focusing, I managed to learn some new mathematical concepts over the next few hours. It surprised me to find it was becoming easier to learn.
After finishing my tea and brushing my teeth, I decided to get some rest. I set my alarm for six AM and fell into a restful sleep.
Trudging out of bed, I took care of my hygiene needs and walked over to Edgar’s. There was no need to prepare a breakfast as Edgar always enjoyed cooking it for the two of us. Edgar rushed me inside, trying to keep as much of the smog out as possible.
“Thanks for coming early, Jake. I’ve got something critical to teach you today.” Edgar motioned for me to sit down at the table and brought over two large plates. There were eggs, a rasher of bacon, and a hefty serving of potatoes cooked in a skillet with oil. I had only had bacon a couple of times in my life. It was a luxury, and I suspected the food was worth about eight hundred credits. After setting the plates down, Edgar brought over two large mugs of his signature brew.
“What’s the occasion?” I hadn’t had a meal this fancy since my twelfth birthday. I cursed under my breath as the smell of the bacon broke through the barrier protecting the memories of my parents.
“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and I need you at your best for today’s lesson. Also, keep working on that barrier. I saw from the expression on your face the aroma triggered a memory and broke your layering.”
I nodded. There was no sense in trying to hide it. Trying to deny it wouldn’t help me improve my mind or protect me from the Government.
We took our time eating the meal. I was surprised even the coffee was different; it tasted like vanilla and had sugar and cream in it.
“Edgar, this food is fantastic,” I said with genuine thanks.
“My colleagues wanted to treat us to a nice meal for the copy of An Essay Concerning Human Understanding. They were thrilled to have a copy in such good condition added to their archives.”
I would learn more of his colleagues and organization as I progressed in my studies—or so he’d told me. After we had finished eating, Edgar took the dishes to the sink and returned to the table. He attached the neuro gear to my head and readied the tablet.
“I’m going to teach you how to subdivide your mind now. This will be difficult at first, but you will know when you accomplish it. We won’t be working with the Collector today. What you’re going to do is create a barrier in your conscious mind. I want you to imagine you have a small box to hide. You are in a vast empty building, its layout is completely unknown to you, and you are standing at the front door. With your conscious mind, I want you to walk in and hide the box somewhere. Let me know when you’ve hidden the box.”
“Who came up with this idea?” I asked. The exercise seemed childish.
“It’s an old Buddhist meditation exercise. But that doesn’t matter, just do what I’m telling you,” he said.
I closed my eyes and focused. I began generating the building in my mind and proceeded through the rooms. Some of the rooms were empty and clean, while others were completely trashed and filled with graffiti. I found a perfect place to hide the box and set it underneath a small desk so it was hidden from plain sight. “I hid the box,” I said without breaking my concentration.
“Good. Now I want you to create a barrier with your subconscious mind and start looking for the box.”
I concentrated and created a second barrier with my subconscious mind, experiencing something unlike anything I ever had before. It felt like there was a stream of electricity moving through my brain, and it caused the hair on my skin to rise. I was in control of two separate versions of myself, each without knowledge the other was in existence. I moved the subconscious part of my mind through the building, and it truly was the first time that version of me had ever seen the rooms. My conscious mind continued to move, listening for the seeker and moving to stay away, hopefully keeping the other version of me from finding the hidden box. I rounded a corner and ran into myself, losing all concentration and jumping upright from my seated position back in Edgar’s flat.
“Drink some water,” he said. His voice seemed to be muffled despite the fact that he was sitting right in front of me. “You’re all right, just breathe and drink some water.”
I picked up the glass with a shaky grip and took a deep drink. I set the glass down carefully and looked at him, struggling to focus and collect my thoughts in any coherent order.
“Wha … what just happened?” I managed.
“You had a collision. I didn’t expect your first collision to happen for at least a month.”
“Collision?”
“You separated your mind into two independent subdivisions that were more or less unaware of the other’s existence. When the two subdivisions of your mind ran into one another inside the building, both parts became fully
aware of the other. Both barriers you had created were destroyed in a fraction of a second, hence the shock and side effects that are affecting you right now. I’m very proud of you.”
I struggled to take in the information and nodded. I remembered turning the same corner from two different sides and running into myself twice. After that, everything went blank before I was pulled back into Edgar’s flat.
“It felt like I was really there. I could tell you almost everything about that building. What it looked like, what it smelled like, the exact layout of it.”
“You created a durable barrier then sustained it while you formed another barrier with your subconscious mind. The result was an almost total immersion within your thoughts in the two subdivisions of your mind.”
The thoughts that surged through my head were beginning to become clearer. “So I held two separate but equal versions of my mind that were competing against one another?”
“Yes. Your conscious mind hid the box from your subconscious mind. The box was actually a key to the barrier you had formed over your conscious mind, and your subconscious mind was working to find the key while your conscious mind worked to distract your subconscious. It’s quite mentally taxing, but it does get easier over time.”
“How am I able to do this at all?”
He grinned. “It’s an unintended side effect of long-term exposure to Collectors. They rewire our minds and mutate our neural networks over time.”
“Okay, but what do you mean the box was a key?”
“When you create multiple barriers, you distribute little pieces of information that can unlock other barriers—it’s a safety mechanism. They aren’t obvious things anyone would think of, but you can use them to escape your mind if you get stuck and don’t want to cause a collision.”
“How many subdivisions can you divide your mind into?” I asked with wonder.
“I can manage four for a decent amount of time, but can hold five for a short duration. Collisions get a lot worse with more subdivisions. For example, if I’ve broken my mind into four pieces and two of them collide, hopefully I can hold the barriers of the other two parts that didn’t collide while the two parts that did restore their barriers. If three parts run into each other, it’s incredibly hard to sustain, and if all four collide, it’s a hard crash. One collision between four parts often causes the individual to pass out.”
