by Nicole Thorn
I watched him with a dumb grin on my face as he examined every single part of it. He ran his fingertips over the pencils, brushing them before moving on to the other parts. The drawers opened up to reveal the many, many goodies. He touched each one of them.
When he was finished, he turned his head over to me. “Thank you,” he said, seemingly coldly. “This is very nice.”
He obviously loved it, as much as he could, and in the ways he was able. So, I was quite pleased with how this turned out because Becket’s eyes kept going back to the wooden box.
“You can use this stuff?” I asked.
The boy nodded. “Yes, I believe I can make some interesting things from what you’ve given me.”
“Good. I bought another, and I’m going to keep it at my house. You can use it if you come over, or if...” I stopped, deciding to change what I was going to say. “Maybe you should keep this stuff hidden from your dad, just in case he doesn’t like when he finds it.”
Becket cocked his head at me. “I won’t need to hide it.”
I didn’t trust that. “Please,” I said. “I think you should.”
He stared at the things on our desk, then nodded. “If you want me to.”
Becket spent the rest of the class looking over what I gave him, reassuring me that he actually liked it all. It was hard to tell but every reaction he had to anything in life was subtle. The damn boy was made of micro-expressions.
When class ended, we walked out together to the parking lot. It was a comfortable silence that was easy to like. He expected nothing from me.
I felt genuine happiness as we crossed the lot but it ended as quickly as it came.
“Oh look,” a girl from behind us said. “The creep got himself a Barbie doll to play with. Does she lie real still like the plastic she is and let you do whatever you want to her?”
Mmm, and there was that little spark of fire in my blood.
I turned around sharply, seeing Hel standing by her car, smirking smugly at us. “It’s not all that surprising that he would go for a girl with no personality at all. Do you talk, or is it all you with your face in a pillow?”
“I’m sorry,” I said, laughing. “But who the fuck are you?”
She smiled, wrinkling her nose. “That’s cute. You think you’re special because of the money in your bank account?”
Jeez, was there a memo that went out for all the dicks in the land to rag on me for my family? “No, I don’t think I’m special. I just think you’re exceptionally dull. How about you get into your car and leave now?”
“Or what? You have your creep boyfriend drain my blood?”
Hate made my fingertips tingle as I took a step forward, leaving Becket behind me. He didn’t deserve to get called names like this.
“I don’t need his help,” I said, low and steady. “I could break you wide open like a goddamn egg if I felt like it, and I wouldn’t have to move from this spot.”
She didn’t look worried. “As if you would try it. Or your little freak boy over there. He’s not very good at anything but I’m sure you both know that by now.”
Yet another moment where I didn’t understand what was overtaking me. Who was this person with her face in Hel’s, a swell of anger in her chest? I wanted to strike at her, taking out the bitch as if she were a mouse and I were a hungry snake. I could almost feel the venom dripping from my fangs.
“Leave, now,” I ordered her.
The girl only grinned. “Now, Barbie, I’m sure you don’t mind at all that I fucked your boyfriend first, so let me say this. Truly, I’m sorry that you’re stuck with someone as painfully boring as him in bed. I wish you a lot of luck. But hey.” She chuckled. “Maybe if you play dead, that’ll make him finish faster, and you can hurry home for a bath in bleach. It’ll take a few but you’ll almost feel human again af—”
I’m done.
I called out to the power that hummed in my ears, and I let it rip through Hel. I opened up a slash of skin on her Achilles tendon, and watched her drop hard to her knees, screaming out in agony over the damage. I smiled, turning my back to her as I went to catch up to Becket. I laced our arms, leading him away from the parking lot.
Before we were too far away, I closed the wound on Hel, leaving her with only internal damage that would be she said, she said, if she took it to an authority. And hey, Barbie had connections. I was more than safe.
“Sweetheart?” I said, looking up to Becket.
“Yes?”
“You... you slept with that bitch?”
He turned his head, looking down at me as we got to the crosswalk. “I did, and she didn’t enjoy it.”
My nose wrinkled. “I’m sorry. She shouldn’t have said those horrible things about you. I want to fucking murder her.”
Becket shrugged it off. “I took too long for her. That’s not really her fault that she didn’t like it.”
I came to a sudden stop, making Becket jerk at my side. “Um... What was that?”
He repeated. “I took too long to finish. She gave me three chances, and she was not happy with me for any of them. Though she climaxed several times.”
I inhaled slowly, squinting at the sky. “I... She... Hmm...” With another deep breath, I looked at the boy. “Does she understand, by definition, what the word problem means?” I cleared my throat, arching an eyebrow. “How long is too long?”
“Do you not know?”
I shook my head. “I’ve never had sex but I can imagine that your ‘issue’ is not one that any other woman on the planet would find a problem... so there’s that. I hope she didn’t upset you.”
“I just don’t understand why she seems to hate me now.”
“Because she’s an evil bitch. Did the other girls you’ve slept with say the same?”
“She’s the only one I’ve been with.”
Ugh, so that horrible gremlin took this poor boy’s virginity, and then started acting like the devil. He didn’t have a clue what made people tick, so he was left probably thinking it was a problem with him.
I made a choice then, that Becket needed a protector. From the world, from people, and from himself. That would be my job now, and I would do it well.
If anyone touched him, they would find out just how much my venom would sting.
Chapter Nine
Under the Cover of Shadows
Becket
I pushed all the things Manny got me to the very corner of my closet, on the shelf. Then I draped a blanket over it. I didn’t know why she wanted me to hide them but I would do it for her because she was my friend.
As I was closing the closet, my father knocked on my door. “Yes?” I called.
He stepped into my room, crossing his arms over his chest. He leaned his shoulder against the doorframe, looking around my room with a critical eye. There wasn’t much for him to see. I had my school supplies and a handful of books he had bought me over the years. My father didn’t like clutter, and that pertained to the entire house. I didn’t mind, though. I didn’t have many things that I liked or wanted to put on display.
“How was school today?” he asked.
“Good,” I said, looking up at him.
“Did that Manny girl keep you company?” Dad walked further into the room and wandered over to my desk. I watched him as he stared down at the surface and wondered what he thought of my homework.
“Yes,” I said, nodding.
“That’s good. I always worried that you didn’t have more friends, even ones that spent time with you out of pity.”
Something light that had been in my chest darkened but I didn’t say anything in reply to him. I did not understand pity. Why should one treat a person differently because they felt bad? It was a kind of lying, and I didn’t like lying. I also wasn’t sure Manny pitied me. Why should she? I had a good life. It hadn’t always been easy after my mother left but it still had been a good life.
“I enjoy spending time with her, too,” I told my father. My eyes drifted down to
the carpet, and I wondered what it would feel like to have my face pressed against it. Soft and scratchy at the same time. Would it feel better or worse with blood soaking through all the individual fibers?
“I’m glad to hear that, Becket,” my father said, bringing my attention back to him. He had turned away from the desk, and I felt his attention like heat burning through my entire being. His eyes watched every move that I made, and every twitch of every muscle that I had. It was like being dissected with his vision alone, and I wondered how that would actually feel.
The silence between us stretched thin, and then he nodded, still looking around the room. “I’m very glad but you know that having a friend, as good as it is for you, is also very dangerous, right?”
“How so?” I asked.
“If you get attached too quickly, it might scare her off. If you tell her things that you shouldn’t, it might scare her off. Do you know what kind of things I mean, Becket? Things that a normal person wouldn’t understand, and we’re not normal people. You especially. We have to be careful what we tell people.”
I stared down at the floor for a couple of seconds. He wanted me to keep secrets but I had already told her things. Things that maybe she wouldn’t understand. “I’m not sure she’s normal either,” I said. “Maybe she wouldn’t be bothered by anything.” I looked back at my father and found his face devoid of emotion. His eyes so flat that they were dull.
He sighed, shaking his head. “No, son. She might not be normal but she’s not like us either. Have you already told her something that you shouldn’t have?”
For a few seconds, I didn’t say anything. And then I did something that sat ill with me but needed to be done anyway. I lied. “No, Dad. I haven’t told her anything. She saw the scar on my hand but she didn’t ask any questions.”
“Do you swear?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said, nodding. My stomach felt hollowed out, and I waited for him to figure out my lies. Waited for his eyes to go from flat to angry. He wouldn’t hurt me. He wasn’t that kind of man. I still hated it when he was upset with me because I felt like I had done something wrong.
I always did something wrong. No matter if I knew what that something was, or knew how to fix it. I couldn’t seem to help myself, and I worried that my father would get tired of me one day and send me off, and then I’d be truly alone. No one else would put up with me.
“Good,” Dad said. “Now, I came up here because one of my clients needed an emergency session, and they’re going to be here in about thirty minutes. You can either leave and not come back until morning, or I can give you something to ensure that you won’t bother us.”
“What kind of something?” I asked.
He shrugged. “I haven’t decided yet. Probably something that will help you sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning if you get a good night’s sleep, I think. Don’t you? Since you don’t have school tomorrow, it would probably be a good day to sleep in.”
I didn’t like Saturdays, even when I did sleep in. There was nothing for me to do. I could wander around the house but only if Dad didn’t have any clients. I had spent many a weekend up in my room, staring out the window, wondering what it would be like to jump. It wasn’t high enough to kill me but it was high enough to hurt. Some days, breaking up the boredom would have been worth the pain.
Other weekends, I wandered around town and did things. Anything, really.
I didn’t want to be here, though. Not tonight, not this weekend. I didn’t want to wake up to a sunny room, seeing that I had wasted half the day on whatever my father had given me, even if I needed the sleep. I shuffled my feet and said, “I’ll go out.”
“All right, Becket. You have to be gone within twenty minutes. I don’t want my client to even see you. You know the effect you have on them.”
My mind flashed to bloody walls and screaming. My own but also others. My father’s stern face staring down at me with this strange glint in his eye. “Yeah, I know. I’ll be gone before then. Promise.”
“Good.” With that, he left, and I went to my dresser. I had changed for bed already but I couldn’t go out like this. All the scars on my arms showed, and the t-shirt was thin enough that the darker ones on my chest could be seen. My father wouldn’t want anyone to question me about these.
I pulled a thick sweater over my head and changed into a pair of jeans. I grabbed my wallet and phone before leaving. I didn’t want my father to be wondering where I was without any means of getting in contact with me.
When I stood out on the street, I looked around. The sky was dark enough that the stars shone brightly, and the neighborhood so quiet that my feet sounded loud when I started walking. I didn’t have anywhere to go but if I didn’t stop moving my feet, then I could make it to morning without a problem.
Or until my father told me that I could come back.
Within twenty minutes, I found myself in Manny’s neighborhood. Without my permission, my feet stopped moving, and I found myself staring at Manny’s house. My stomach dropped with my father’s words. This was the kind of thing he meant. This was weird, and it would bother her to know that I had come here, even if I hadn’t meant to.
Where else did I have to go? I could walk forever but eventually; someone would spot me. If it was a policeman, then I would be in trouble. They did not appreciate my reasons for being out. Some of them knew me by name, and they always threatened to throw me into a jail cell.
I thought of my father’s response to that.
“Becket?” A feminine whisper sounded. I knew Manny’s voice immediately, and my shoulders tensed. This was it. The thing that my father had been warning me about. The thing that normal people didn’t do that would weird her out.
I turned around and found Manny walking down the sidewalk. She had a bag slung over her shoulder and her hands stuffed into the pockets of a jacket. I could see my sweater peeking out underneath the jacket. Dark circles decorated underneath her eyes, and she was pale.
“Hello,” I said, quietly enough that she might not have heard me.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
I looked around, trying to think of something to say. Something that wouldn’t upset my father but wouldn’t require lying to her either. “I don’t know,” I finally settled on. “I just started walking and ended up here. I didn’t mean to bother you.”
“You didn’t,” she said immediately. “Not that I’m disappointed to see you but why are you here? Why aren’t you at home?” She checked her phone, for the time I assumed, and I took those couple of seconds to figure out what to tell her. It would be easy, I thought, walking that line between lying and truth.
“My father had a client,” I said. “So, I came out here.”
She cocked her head, and I waited for her to ask a question I couldn’t answer. That never happened. “Okay,” she said. “Do you want to come inside?”
“Won’t your parents be concerned that you’ve invited me into their home in the middle of the night?”
Manny smiled, and it was such a sweet expression that I found myself staring at her without hearing her answer at first. “... found a boy, they’d be upset but I don’t plan on letting them find you.”
I blinked, then nodded. “Okay.”
“C’mon,” she said, waving for me to follow. She took me into the backyard and carefully latched the gate behind us, so it made the least amount of noise possible. Then she took me to a window partially concealed by the ground.
“This is my bedroom,” she explained. “I’ve got some furniture resting right under the window, so you can land on that. Try to be quiet, though.” She slipped into the house, quiet as could be. I leaned down so that I could see into her room. There was indeed a desk underneath the window. I took a moment to memorize everything on the surface of the desk, and then I slipped into the house as well. I landed neatly, quietly, and without disturbing anything she had.
“You’re good at that,” Manny said, with a soft smile. “Spend
a lot of time sneaking into girls’ rooms?”
I cocked my head. “No. I have snuck into a guy’s room once but it was much easier than this. His bedroom was right next to the garage.”
She blinked at me. “I was joking, Becket.”
“Oh.”
She shuffled her feet as I climbed off the desk. “I’m going to change really quick. I’ll be right back, okay?”
I nodded, watching her leave the room. I looked around the small space when she was gone, memorizing everything that she had up. There wasn’t much, and that bothered me for some reason. I sat down in her desk chair and pulled a pen from my pocket. It was bright red but it would have to do. She had her notebooks from school on the surface of the desk, and I pulled one to me, hoping she wouldn’t mind the piece of paper I borrowed.
When she came back into the room five minutes later, I had a decent lizard drawn onto the paper. I put the finishing touches on, then showed it to her. “I took some of your paper.”
Manny pulled the drawing from my fingers and looked down at it. A smile quirked her lips. “I don’t mind at all. May I ask why you did this?”
“Your walls are empty,” I said. “I don’t like it.”
“You have empty walls, too.”
I frowned, trying to figure out how to say my thoughts to her. They made sense to me but most people didn’t understand what I meant when I spoke. Slowly, I said, “It’s okay for my walls to be empty but you deserve more than that. You deserve to have things you want to put up.”
When I looked at Manny, she stared at me with the most peculiar expression on her face. “No, I don’t. But I’ll put this up anyway.”
“You deserve whatever you want,” I said.
“I don’t want anything,” she told me.
“I don’t either,” I said. “How about you deserve whatever I think you deserve?”
She turned away from me, looking for a spot on the wall next to her bed. She pinned the drawing up, and stepped back from it. Cocked her head. “I think it looks good there. What do you think?”
