by Nicole Thorn
I walked back out, nervous over how he would react. As expected, his face didn’t change. That wasn’t where he held his emotion. I saw it in his eyes, in micro-expressions, if I paid close enough attention. He watched me, blinking slowly.
Smoothing my hands down my sides, I said, “Do I look okay?”
I stopped in front of him, and Becket didn’t say a word. Instead, his hands replaced mine on my hips, and his fingers pushed against the soft fabric. His eyes locked onto mine as his hands found the places they sought. They slid up, his thumbs brushing me. Becket held me, from my hips, all the way up to where the fabric of my dress stopped. Warmth soaked through, resting against my skin and making breathing seem harder.
Becket laid his hand perfectly flat against my chest, right over my heart. Still watching me, the corner of his lips turned up. He had to feel how hard my heart pounded, and I hoped he knew he was the reason for that. I laid my hand over his, holding it there.
When it ended, I brought him to my bed and gave him the pens I’d bought. He thanked me, and I turned around so that he could start on my shoulders. I’d made sure the dress was strapless, so that he had as much room as I could manage to get him. My arms and shoulders were totally open, as well as the top of my chest. I’d have to get him to redo my back again because I didn’t like the bare skin. I would have been happy if he covered most of me in ink.
I sat there, enjoying the feel of the pen against my skin. I didn’t bother talking because I knew Becket lost himself when he drew. Words didn’t matter anyway. I just wanted him touching me.
The pen swept over my shoulder, and he moved to add to my arm. Something swirling and beautiful. It was unfortunate that he had so little to work with, or it could have been more elaborate. We’d make up for it later.
Once he finished, I went to look in the mirror. It reminded me of wind, or an ocean. Becket hadn’t fixed the art on my face yet but he set me on the counter to do it.
Becket leaned in to put the marks on my face, and it took a lot of self-control to not grab him and yank his mouth to mine. I mean... he just left me hanging before. You don’t give someone an amazing first kiss and then not kiss them again. It made me crazy, giving me dreams I hadn’t been expecting. Good, good dreams.
Delicately, Becket held my chin with his hand, putting the finishing touches under my right eye. The soft act itself reminded me of that bitch accusing him of hurting me. Everything about Becket was always so soft and so careful to me. He was the kind of boy who would care for an abandoned baby bird he found in the backyard. Not the monster they all decided he was.
“All done,” he said when he capped the pen.
“Thank you,” I said, fighting the urge to kiss him again. “You should go ring the doorbell,” I added with a smile.
He looked mildly surprised. “Are you sure? Your parents don’t like me very much.”
I shrugged. “You’re my date. I’m not ashamed of you. You’re not someone I need to sneak around with. I don’t want to hide you from the world. I’m proud to have you at my side.” It was he who should have wanted to hide me.
I wished I could have known what he was thinking. Everything was so impossibly hard to tell sometimes, and it made me worry that I wouldn’t be able to take care of him right.
“I’ll be back in a couple minutes,” he told me before heading out my window again.
While I waited for the bell to ring, I put the corsage on my dress. The flower was green, matching my eyes almost exactly. Becket had to have picked it out himself, and the thought of him doing that made me smile.
When the bell upstairs rang, I lifted my dress up and hurried along, lest my parents make him uncomfortable. They would regret waking up this morning if they upset him in the least.
I found Becket standing in my house, with my parents on either side of him. While my mom didn’t look surprised, my father sure as hell was. He glared at me, and I beamed.
“Hi, sweetie,” I said, rushing over to Becket. I greeted him with a kiss to the cheek because I could.
He smiled back at me.
“Manny,” my father growled. When I turned to him, he said, “I didn’t know you were going to the dance.”
“Yes,” Mom said. “You didn’t feel the need to tell us?”
It took a lot not to roll my eyes at her. “Didn’t come up. Sorry. But Becket and I are gonna be late if we don’t go soon.”
My father stared me down. “We talked about this. You said you were going to be a good girl.”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Yes, and this is just a school dance.”
“I don’t care.”
I nodded solidly. “I see. And what will you do if I ignore you and go anyway?”
Dad made a sound of surprise because I was not at all acting like myself. “Well, maybe you won’t have a home to come back to.”
Chucking, I said, “Okay then. I’ll just sleep with Becket tonight. That actually works out because I can’t imagine I’ll be able to walk home after I get finished riding him. I’ll need all the sleep I can get.”
And then I left the house with Becket.
I would pay dearly for that one later but it felt so worth it as I spoke. They didn’t get to insult Becket, especially with him right there. Just because he took abuse didn’t mean he deserved it.
With Becket’s hand in mine, we started walking to the car that his father appeared to have let him borrow. I found it odd that he would not only tell him to get me a flower but supply him with a way to get us to the school. Shit like this was why Becket was so confused, thinking the man loved him.
“I didn’t realize we were going to have sex tonight,” Becket said as he opened my car door for me.
I blushed a deep red. “Oh, um... well, I just said that to piss him off. I didn’t... we don’t...”
“I don’t have condoms,” he said, and I couldn’t tell if he was lamenting that fact, or just stating it.
My face had to have been a tomato, which was made worse by the fact that I knew he would sense the blood moving. “That’s not what I meant, honey. I didn’t think we were having sex later.”
He blinked. “Because you don’t want to have sex with me?”
“No,” I said, then caught myself. “Yes... I mean... dammit. I... All I’m saying was that I told my dad we were having sex because it would upset him. I wasn’t saying we had to, or that I expected to.”
The boy nodded. “Do you want to have sex with me?”
Was he offering? I couldn’t lie to myself and say I hadn’t spent every free second in the last few days thinking about him between my legs but I had to walk this line. Still, I needed to be his safe place, and that meant I couldn’t lie.
“Yes,” I said but then I drowned it. “That doesn’t mean I think we should do that tonight.”
He shook his head. “No, we’ll be busy. And late, if we don’t leave.”
I hurried to get in the car and recover from what I said to him. Where did we go from there? Could we go back to normal? Probably, since we’d kissed and it didn’t seem to change him at all. He most likely filed this away in his head as a fact and wouldn’t think about it again.
For the whole car ride, my brain switched from very graphic images of me screaming under Becket, to trying to pretend I didn’t tell this boy I wanted to screw him. Ugh, what the hell could I do here? Pretending it didn’t happen was my only option because it wasn’t like I would ever get to have him like that. I would settle for the touching because it mattered so much to me.
When we arrived at the dance, people were shuffling in, and music blared even in the parking lot. I could already tell I would hate this but I had Becket, so I could enjoy him.
We walked in together, hand in hand into the very pink room. Hearts adorned every surface; it was almost disgusting. Most of the girls were in pink as well because VALENTINE’S DAY! I didn’t like it but I liked the hand I held.
“Oooh cookies,” I said, yanking the poor boy along with me.
&
nbsp; We got to the food table, and again, everything was pink, white, and red. I might have thrown up but the cookies looked pretty good. I handed one to Becket, then proceeded to make him up a little plate of goodies. After I got him some punch, along with my own plate, we went to find a table.
I scooted right up next to Becket, putting my free hand on his thigh, claiming him. People walked by, seeing us, and either laughing, ignoring us, or looking worried. I couldn’t tell for which of us.
“Would you like to dance?” Becket asked me, leaning close to my ear so I could hear over the music.
I nodded and let him take me to the dance floor.
This was the point of the whole thing, and everyone seemed to like it. I couldn’t see the appeal but mostly because everyone here was garbage. Becket was the only person worth a thing, and he was on my arm.
He held me by the hips, and I put my hands upon his shoulders, smiling at him like he was the stars, the sky, and the whole world they surrounded. He may as well have been.
A slow song came on, and we swayed together, holding each other securely. His hands moved softly against my hips, making goosebumps pop up on my arms. I stepped closer to him, and put my head over his heart. I listened to it beating, wishing we were the only ones in the room.
“I like this,” I admitted. “Dancing is nice when it’s with you.”
When I looked up at Becket, he said, “Yes, this is very pleasant. Are you going to be all right later? You can stay with me if you need a place to go. You can wear my clothes to sleep if you want to.”
I got all smiley again. “It would probably be a good idea if I stayed the night.” My hand moved down his arm, and I kept my eyes on his. “Do you think we could get away with staying in the same bed?”
He thought for a moment. “I’m not sure. I hope we can.”
My parents would get over what I did but they would want me home sooner rather than later. For now, I could be with Becket and not worry about it. As long as I had his arms around me tonight.
From the corner of my eye, I saw those psychos watching us. Hel and her little minions, as well as what’s-his-face that tried asking me out. I remembered how he had whispered in my ear that maybe he would have to just hold me down and prove that I wanted him. He watched me, and I wanted to cut his throat wide open.
I felt it as I stared back at them. If I wanted it, I could end everyone around me. I could kill armies or make them from scratch. I controlled flesh, and that meant that they would have to bend to my will. If I wanted it. I’d never wanted that before, and never let the thought enter into my mind. Yet there it was, shiny and wanting me to look at it.
I didn’t. Not anymore.
When a few songs ended, Becket swept his fingers along my back, making my skin hum. “Is... is this all a dance is? Eating and dancing?”
“I think so.”
He sighed. “Seems boring.”
“A little.”
He tapped on me thoughtfully. “Do you want to stay, or can we leave? There are much better things we could do outside of this building.”
My mind raced with possibilities, and I hoped that he would want to go somewhere quiet, where it could just be the two of us. Maybe somewhere where he could pull this dress up my legs and slip his hands all along my skin, making me feel like more than I was.
I nodded, letting him take my hand for the walk out of the school. I threw my head over my shoulder, giving one last look at the kids dancing. All so happy, light on their feet. Unburdened by all the blackness that lurked in every corner. I supposed not all of us got to be that lucky.
I put Becket’s arm around my shoulder, letting him chase away some of the darkness in my head.
Chapter Seventeen
The Tip of a Blade
Becket
Manny and I stepped out of the school. Mrs. Flannigan jerked back upon seeing us but didn’t say anything when we walked past her. The night air felt good, and I breathed deeply. Pretending to be normal for a little while had been fun but I liked this too. Just being alone with Manny, who had dressed up.
I wound an arm around her shoulders, and pulled Manny in against my side. She smiled up at me, and the moonlight caught in her eyes, making them shine. It was possibly the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen.
“Where are you two going?” Mrs. Flannigan called out from behind me.
We ignored her, and kept walking. Manny stopped about halfway to the car, and removed her shoes. She grinned up at me, and said, “If it’s all the same to you, I’d just as soon go without.”
I answered her smile with my own. “You might ruin the bottom of your dress.”
“I don’t care,” Manny responded, before slipping into the car. I closed the door for her, then rushed around the front. Once we were safely ensconced, I ran my hands over the steering wheel, staring out at the street. My father wanted us home after the dance but I thought we could get away with a few hours more.
“Something wrong?” Manny asked.
I spoke honestly. “My dad had a condition for going out.”
Her face tightened. “Oh?”
“He wants us back at the house tonight.” I looked out the windshield and said, “If you don’t want to agree with that, then I can deal with him. He won’t be too upset.” I wasn’t sure what he would do, either but I kept that worry to myself. Manny needed to decide without having to worry about me.
“No, I’ll go,” Manny said. “I yelled at my parents that I wasn’t coming home anyway.”
“Why?” I asked.
“You don’t have to worry about it.”
I frowned but nodded. “We don’t have to return immediately, though. We could go out and do something.”
Her smile was even wider this time around. I drove off, aiming for that little spot in the woods that Manny seemed to like the best. I pulled over to the side of the road when we arrived, then rushed around the nose of the car so that I could escort her to our spot. She took my hand, leaning her head against my shoulder. My fingers brushed her hand in a slow circle as we walked.
Once we arrived at our spot, she removed her dress and laid down in the grass. I took the pens and laid them out in a neat row, all the color bright in the moonlight. I brushed my fingers over them, thinking about which one would be best to use. Ultimately, I chose blue, and got to work. Manny smiled as my pen moved along her stomach, laughing slightly. Her eyes closed the higher up I got. Her lashes fanned out across her cheeks in a soft curtain.
I laid a kiss down on her chest, then peered up at her when she gasped. Another kiss went right next to the first one. Then a third kiss over the swell of her breast. She squirmed and panted with every single one, which made it hard to pull back. But I had to continue working. I couldn’t leave a half-finished drawing behind.
When I had finished, I sat back to examine my work. I had drawn the sky, the moon, and a bird that flew through the air, with its eyes locked on the ground in bright, beady attention. “Do you like it?”
“Of course,” Manny responded, then rolled onto her stomach so that I could work on her back. I did a flip of the other picture. A daylight sky, instead of one filled with darkness. This bird was a hawk. Each feather had flecks of gold and brown and white. It took me just as long to work through that drawing as it had the first one but I gave it as much attention as I could.
Once it was done, I laid down next to Manny. I dragged my fingers along her cheek, then down her arm. Her skin felt warm and seductive with the bare touches I left behind. She shivered, peering up at me with pale green eyes. I continued dragging my hand down to her hip, then over her stomach. “I like you this way,” I said.
“Half naked?” Manny asked.
“No. Relaxed,” I told her. “You’re the most beautiful when you’re relaxed like this.” My finger dragged along the side of her breast, and she sucked in another breath. Her eyes closed and she shivered against me. “When you aren’t worrying about anything but taking the moment to breathe, and be.
..”
Another shiver rolled through her. I watched her nipples harden into peaks. Her body pressed against mine. She tilted her head up, and she dragged her mouth along my jawline. Then up even further, until it could meet mine. She pulled at my lower lip with her teeth, and I opened my mouth so that she could slide her tongue in.
Manny rolled carefully, so that she could end up on top of me. Her hips pressed against mine, and I grew hard when she wiggled against me. A small gasp escaped her mouth, and she dragged her fingers down my chest, her mouth still fused with mine. I would have been happy to stay like that forever.
It would have been nice.
Something in the woods snapped. A branch, or a twig. Something that echoed along the air. Manny tensed, immediately covering her chest with her arm. I looked towards where the sound had come from. Easily, I rolled to my feet, bringing Manny with me. I handed her the dress she had discarded. She stuffed herself into it and zipped it up, making my drawings almost disappear. The bird’s head could be seen peaking from between her breasts but nothing else.
“Do you think that’s something we should be worried about?” Manny asked.
I shook my head. “I could kill them easily, if they are someone coming here to harm you.”
“Why do you think someone would want to harm me?” she asked.
“Your family has been targeted many times in the last couple of weeks. Don’t you think someone is out to harm you?” I cocked my head at her, wondering if there had been a flaw in my leap of logic.
Manny’s brow furrowed. “Okay. But you’re right. We could kill them easily. Let’s check it out.” She took my hand and started dragging me into the woods. I followed her without hesitation. The moon would provide enough light that we didn’t need our phones.
The first thing I noticed was the silence. The deep silence that only forests could have. It battered along my body, echoing through the still air around us. So, when the next sounds came, they were hard to ignore. Something crashed against a tree with a wooden thud, then leaves crumbled underneath a heavy weight.
