by Honor Gable
Rivka leans over to speak in my ear. "I heard shouts up ahead. In German."
Xavier overhears and he rubs the back of his neck, looking at me. "Can you go and scout it out?"
There's plenty of shadows, but Lois tired herself out last night. It's my turn.
With a nod, I slip through the woods, my feet somehow knowing where to find the softest spots to muffles my steps. The bracelet is working differently. Normally, I'm not this quiet. I bite back a shudder and force myself to focus. It's a worry for another day. A few buildings from the village appear through the trees and I finally hear what disturbed Rivka.
Voices barking in German. A lot of them.
My arms flail as I skid to a stop, grabbing onto a tree to keep myself upright. I peer through the sagging leaves still dripping from the morning dew, but can't tell what's going on. I make my way with slower movements further down the trail.
With summer foliage in full bloom, my view through the bushes, underbrush, and trees is obstructed. Grabbing my lip with my teeth, I squeeze my eyes closed at a snapping twig under my foot. Bugger. My ears perk for a change in the voices or crashing footsteps, but only snatches of the same low tones filter through. I keep my stride slower now, not wanting to smack into them and being unable to stop. Every meter or so I stop and peer around, hoping to see something. Anything. On meter four, I do.
A squad of Germans have a group of raggedy people lined up along the side of the trail. Their clothes are filthy and their cheeks are hollow with starvation. My hands slap over my mouth to hold in the groan of horror. There's a long hole behind them, shovels lying at their feet. My eyes swim, and I have to take my hands away so I can breathe, my nose filled with the tears I haven't let fall.
Should I go get the others and we can try to help? There are so many Germans though. We'll never succeed and there isn't enough time anyway. At least, those are the arguments I tell myself, trying to force myself to believe them. I don't think about how I can't stand to lose anyone else I love.
The Germans bring their guns up and aim. There's nothing I can do, but I can't watch this. I ease back and take off, a sob ripping from my throat at the echoes of gunfire chasing me through the trees. Guilt stabs me with each step. Audrey told me we have to stand witness, but I turned and ran like a coward, unable to bear any more horror, refusing to even try to help. And now those people will fade into nothing, no one to know or remember what happened to them or even who they were.
I collide with Xavier, almost taking us down in a tangle of limbs. "We can't go to the village. The Germans just executed eight people right outside of it."
"Were they villagers?" Xavier asks as he steadies me. Rivka gasps and covers her mouth beside us. A dark scowl covers Lois's face.
I move to stand between the two girls, needing comfort. Needing to know and remember I'm not the last one left. "I don't think so. They looked like they were starving and had been living in the woods and the same pair of clothes for months."
"The Maquis. The village was probably helping them." Curses fall from his lips and his eyes shine with tears. "They've been betrayed." His fists dig into his eyes as he tries to focus on what to do now instead of the fear for his comrades.
"When we heard the shots...we...we thought..." Rivka can't finish, but I know what she means.
I lean into her, resting my head on her shoulder. We watch Xavier pace back and forth muttering to himself. He halts, his expression torn.
"What?" I ask.
"The camp won't be safe for us."
We were supposed to meet Theo there and regroup for a few days, waiting for the chaos in Paris to calm down before we try to get back to London. There's no way to get back until we get in touch with Hugo.
"Theo's there. We can't leave him or the others with no warning." I'm shocked the words come from me. But Audrey gave everything to save him. I won't be able to face her and say we were too scared to try.
He focuses on me. "Can you go and warn them? We'll be right behind you. It's about ten kilometers away. Can you go that far?"
No. "Of course." Ignoring the skeptical head shake Lois gives me, I continue, "What do I say?"
"Say Xavier sent you to warn them and to scatter. Find Theo. He'll vouch for you." Xavier draws a map on the ground with a stick and explains how to get there. Pretty much a straight shot. Even I won't get lost.
I hope.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
AUDREY
I'm naked again.
Naked and running.
My hands clap over my breasts to keep them from bouncing as I run behind Henriette. My lungs burn even though we've only been running for less than a minute. At the call to halt, we line up at attention. My head raises in defiance and rage as managers from some factory pace back and forth in front of us, occasionally reaching out and grabbing at our arms, legs, forcing open our mouths.
Like we're cattle they've come to buy.
Blood seeps into my mouth from my teeth gnawing on the inside as one of them puts their hands on me. I entertain myself with the fantasy of kneeing him in his John Thomas and maybe giving him a black eye. Or stabbing him with a filed down handle of a spoon. Or a single bullet between his eyes.
He nods and moves onto Henriette, doing the same to her.
We're both chosen.
After three other women are picked from the lines of us, we're marched to Block 26.
Home sweet home.
The five of us enter, and moisture springs to my eyes. The smell is worse here than in the quarantine block. Probably because there's triple the amount of women. Stacks of wooden boxes leave little room for walking through. Cadaverous bodies in scraps of indecent clothes fill the boxes, their eyes huge and sunken in their skulls. A collective groan and shifting of bodies resonates at the sight of us.
What a lovely welcome.
An emaciated, but statuesque woman stalks over to us, smiling. "Welcome. We'll find a spot for all of you. Welcome to l'enferdes femmes." The women's hell. Appropriate. "I'm Gisele. Come."
She leads us further in, the smell worsening with each step. I fight back gags. Vomiting won't help matters.
Gisele points to me and Henri, and jerks her head towards the middle bunk, a woman already sprawled out in the middle of it. "You two will sleep here with me."
How are we supposed to fit?
Henri shrugs and we climb up, the woman scooting, trying to make room. We squish in and I swallow the tears threatening to rise. This is hell. And Gisele is going to sleep up here with us too?
"I'll be back in a moment and explain everything." Gisele leads the others further in.
"I'm Justine and this is Henriette." My lips twitch. I'm introducing ourselves like we're meeting for tea. Just like Henri did to me.
French so accented I can barely translate comes from the girl beside me. "I'm Nina."
Frustrated tears clog my throat, so I don't speak, my body shuddering with the effort to keep them in.
Nina reads me. "You'll be grateful for how packed in we are here once winter comes."
"Are you Russian?" Henri asks.
"Da. Yes. I was a partisan sniper and was caught and shipped here. The rest of my comrades were executed."
At least mine are still alive. I think. I hope. I didn't have to watch them die. How many people will I have to watch die here?
Gisele's return interrupts us and saves me from coming up with something to say that doesn't sound like I'm a complete cow. "Hello, ladies." She climbs up, jostling us and our breathing space shrinks farther.
With all of us the size of rulers, you'd think we'd fit more comfortably.
Nina and Henri are on either side of me, their sharp bones digging into my skin. Gisele rolls to her side to face us. "All right. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but let me tell you the most important things first." At our rapt attention, she continues. "Never admit to being Jewish. French and Russians are hated enough, but never admit to even the slightest bit of Jewish blood. To anyone. Don'
t ever complain of being sick and always try to look young and healthy. Pinch your cheeks, keep your back arched, and above all else, find a way to keep yourself as clean as you can."
"How the hell are we supposed to stay clean here?" I fight to keep my voice down, but I want to screech. Everywhere is death and blood and shite and rotten food. And we have to wade through it every day.
"I'll teach you. It takes a bit of ingenuity, but it's manageable. There are four things you need to survive here. Cleanliness, humor, close friendships, and wariness. We also have little classes three or four nights a week."
"Classes?" Henri's head whips around. I huff a chuckle. Of course she's excited about learning.
"Yes. Literature, mathematics, we exchange recipes, we sing, quote poetry, discussion groups. Between all of us, we have a lot of information to share, and it's good to keep our minds alive. And it helps us still feel human."
There's nothing I can contribute. I skipped out on my tutors as much as possible growing up. French is the only thing I was interested in learning and the only thing that stuck. I could teach boxing I suppose.
"The kapo for this block is pretty easy going as long as we never make her look bad. Just stay out of her way and make sure you're never late to appel."
"Kapo? Appel?" Will I ever know what people are talking about here?
"Kapo is a guard, usually Polish. They have all the good jobs around here. And appel is roll call. Remember those names." She sighs and closes her eyes. "We'll talk more tomorrow. The siren goes off at three thirty. We need sleep."
Nina stayed silent as she explained everything. Why is Gisele the one with all the answers if she isn't a guard? Henri and I cuddle together, trying to sleep, but moans and whispers and snores rise in a loud din. There's no pillow to cover my head with to drown out the noise. There's nothing to do but ride it out and hope for slumber, so I can forget, if only for a little bit.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
VIOLA
Lightning strikes through my veins, boiling my blood. I love this sensation. I'm faster than a cheetah right now. This is wondrous. I'll be at the camp in seconds instead of minutes. If I can save them in time, maybe it will make up for standing by and doing nothing as their comrades were murdered. Will I ever forgive myself for it?
I grab a tree to stop myself, almost ripping my arm out of the socket. I can't go speeding in there, I could get shot. My stride stays fast though, not bothering to keep quiet. If it seems like I'm hiding, I could get shot. Blimey, why didn't I ask Xavier for a code word or something? Hopefully, telling them Xavier sent me will be good enough.
Where is this place? I'm seeing nothing. Maybe they already know about the Germans coming and cleared out.
Leaves and dirt fill my mouth, coating my throat and gagging me. The metal digging into the back of my neck and the body straddling my hips stop me from spitting it out.
"What are you doing here?" His voice is quiet and raspy.
I cough, spitting out the forest floor. "Xavier sent me. Germans are on the way to the camp. I came to warn you."
"Why didn't he come himself?"
"I'm faster."
The weight on my back releases, and I scramble to my feet before he changes his mind, scooping my gun into my arms on the way up.
I gasp. "You're a girl." I cringe at my exclamation. I've heard it before, and it's always obnoxious.
She rolls her big hazel eyes. "Yes. I am. So are you."
Not wanting to be rude and tell her she sounds like a man, I change the subject. "We need to warn your people. You have maybe half an hour before they get here. Xavier and the rest of my team will get here only minutes behind." I can't force the words out about her dead friends.
"You realize you're headed in the wrong direction, yes?" She quirks a bushy brow, a smirk tugging at her lips.
Her derision annoys me. "What?"
"You should be going farther to the east." She points to the left of where I was headed.
Blast. "How far?"
She checks her weapon and starts walking, throwing words over her shoulder. "If we hurry, we'll make it. Maybe."
I could make it faster on my own, but I can't show my powers in front of her and I could get lost again. I've never had a good sense of direction. Especially in the woods. Everything looks the same, and you swear you're running in circles even if you're not. Lois should've been the one to do this. I'll stick with this girl and hope she's fast enough.
She leads the way, and it's easy to keep up with her, she might be as fast as I was before the experiment. I was always a good foot-racer. Branches snap us in the faces and thorny vines pluck at our clothes. Each footfall is a prayer I send towards the stars. Please let us make it in time.
We don't.
The staccato bursts of gunfire reach us long before we make it to the camp. She snarls and picks up such speed, I'd believe she has powers too. Are Lois and Rivka already there? No longer caring what she thinks, I leave her behind. She won't believe it anyway. No one would.
Ignoring the agony of my raw feet and tight calves, I push myself farther and harder than ever before. My feet crash through briers and vines, marking their own path. I can't lose Rivka or Lois. How could I be so stupid and go the wrong way? Every death will be my fault, staining my soul black and filling it with shadows.
The foliage bursts open in front of me, and I throw myself to the ground, my eyes darting about searching for my friends in the madness. Uniformed Germans and people in faded and mismatched clothes litter the clearing, dead and dying, cries of pain mixing with screams of fury and terror. Germans mow down the unsuspecting partisans with their guns.
They had no warning. Because I can't follow simple directions and am too late.
Guilt and determination raise my gun, and I fire at anything German. My aim is horrible from this far away, but I hit one and others search for cover, giving the partisans a chance to regroup and grab for weapons. Their pathetic lean-to type shacks provide little cover for either side, most taking to the trees. Sunlight blinds me as it lowers along the horizon, and I stop firing, not wanting to hit one on our side by accident. I still can't find Lois or Riva or Xavier or Theo.
Please don't be dead.
Strapping my gun to my back, I crawl at an angle down the slope, staying low. The sun dips behind the trees so I can see again. I take cover behind a group of three bushes, and aim my gun through the middle, emptying it into the crowd below.
Two grenades explode, sending dirt, rocks, and blood soaring into the air. Four dead lie in their wake.
I sob and reload my last magazine into my gun, making each squeeze of the trigger count.
My body jerks and I barely stop myself from firing when a body throws itself beside me. The girl from earlier. Her face is stone and rage, her eyes glistening with angry tears. She lines up her rifle and starts taking shots around the side of the left bush. With another choked sob, I do the same.
My gun clicks empty, and I dig the Browning pistol from the waist of my trousers, sighing in relief at no longer having it stabbing into my stomach. I don't know what I can hit from here with this.
The girl curses beside me and throws her rifle to the ground, pulling out her own pistol. She twists her head to me. "Come on. We're going down there. We're useless up here."
My throat closes off. "But—-"
"Now. I need someone to cover my back." Her low voice comes out in a growl.
My eyes dart back to the chaos and my heart burns and drops. I don't want to wade in there, killing people up close and battling against grenades. But I think she might shoot me if I don't go. And I owe it to her and them.
Leaving my pack and Sten gun, I follow her into the mayhem.
We stay right together, taking turns firing, going back to back once we're in the thick of it. Somehow we're completely in sync, twisting and turning, dropping body after body. My veins buzz, and I'm able to press on through the exhaustion, the pain and hunger and fear slipping away along with the
fading sunlight, as we twirl in a dance of violence and blood.
Out of the shadows and smoke, Rivka and Xavier appear, joining in our caper, adding their fire to ours. Their faces are streaked with dirt and determination. Lois is nowhere to be seen, but I have to believe she's attacking from the shadows, safe and invisible.
A grenade aims toward us, and I scream for them to take cover, grabbing Rivka and hauling her along with my speed, losing my grip and balance, both of us tumbling to the ground. Frantic, I scramble to my feet and run through the shower of debris, searching for Xavier and the girl, slumping in relief. The girl threw herself over Xavier and they both struggle to stand.
I shouldn't have left them.
Xavier's smile at me is a blinding mad grimace coming from his dirt streaked face. A German aims at his back behind him, and my arm raises and shoots, the German's body and gun falling useless to the ground. Xavier's eyes widen and he spins around, swaying a little at the sight. Rivka slams into me and we're both down again as gunfire sounds to our right.
I try to fire at them, but my pistol is empty. My last bullet was to save Xavier. Rivka hits one of them and a partisan takes out the other one.
"We need to take cover," Rivka yells in my ear over the roar. She's empty too.
There's nothing more we can do in this fight, but pray. And why would God listen to me after all the people I just sent to him?
Staying low, we half crawl back to the tree-line. Xavier meets us there, out of breath and hunched. "Do either of you have any more ammo?"
We shake our heads, and he rubs the back of his neck, watching the carnage with wet eyes. I don't want to look. The sounds and smells are horrible enough, my burst of energy vanished, my stomach churning. Burnt flesh and gun powder and metal burn my nose, my ears ringing from the explosions and shots and screams.
