Staring up at the ceiling was doing nothing to calm my mind. I was too wound up, having seen Hayley naked tonight and kissing her. I got up, throwing on a pair of shorts and a tank top. The evening was certainly cooler, but I was roasting.
I ran along the beach to clear my head. I was half-cocked and completely out of my wheelhouse. Did I love Hayley? Of course, I did. That part was easy. Was I in love with her? I didn’t know. I knew I hated seeing a guy like Spencer sniffing around her. But I would’ve hated him sniffing around any of the women in my life. He was a douchebag. I wasn’t the overbearing type. My sisters made their decisions and I often helped pick up the pieces when it fell apart. The only one I never had to worry about was Rachel. She knitted blankets, volunteered as a candy striper, and got straight As. She wasn’t really interested in dating. She was focused on her schooling and college, and then her career. She knew what she wanted out of her life and she wasn’t going to let anything distract her from that.
The rest of them, the boys included, were all a little concerning. Were they worried about me? Or was I just the guy that worried after everyone else?
It made me think about the fact I hadn’t checked my voicemails, emails, and text messages from anyone. I’d gone completely off the grid. I had needed to for my own sanity.
Now, I felt I needed my family. Maybe I could gain a little perspective from a few chosen ones.
I jogged back to Hayley’s house after an hour. Before I got into the shower, I sat down in front of my laptop and pulled up email.
I wasn’t surprised there were over a hundred messages. I organized the emails so I could quickly scan until I reached the ones I wanted.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Mom says you went to see Hayley. Please tell me you’re finally going to do something about her.
Detective Broderick Wright
Denver, CO
Direct Line:303-555-1515
Cell Phone: 303-555-9685
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Yo! Rick says that you’re with Hayley. Aubrey thinks you should tell her that you love her. And now she’s telling me that if I say that she said that, she’s going to withhold sex. So, I’m saying you should tell her that you love her. She’s the reason why you haven’t found the right woman, yet, right?
But seriously, you doing okay, man?
Chuck
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Big brother, I hope you’re doing okay. Keep thinking about you. You could come visit me…wherever I am right now. I think I’m in Thailand.
Miss you. Love you.
L
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Hi Matt,
I really need to talk to you. Please call me soon.
Love,
Rachel
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Matthew, call our mother. She’s driving all of us crazy asking if we’ve heard from you. We all know you’re not talking to any of us, but she doesn’t believe that. You deserve a break. I get it. But mom worries about us all. Just call her. Let her off the hook.
If you ever need to talk to anyone. I’m here.
Love you, fool.
Alicia
I loved my family. They drove me crazy and kept me sane at the same time.
I looked at the clock. It was the middle of the night. Even for Rachel. I couldn’t call her now. But she never reached out like that unless it was something important. Last time she was worried Bex was doing drugs. She wasn’t. She was using too many energy drinks. She was spending her nights playing in clubs she was too young to patronize. Rachel worried about everyone. She and I were a lot alike, though she had a better head on her shoulders than I did. She loved fiercely, did things with passion, and never took “no” for an answer.
I would call her in the morning. If she was in dire trouble, she would’ve called someone else by now.
I felt a little guilty not getting back to her. Hopefully, she would forgive me.
I closed my laptop and headed for the shower.
The next morning when I rolled off the couch, I picked up my phone. Rachel was speed dial lucky thirteen. It went directly to voicemail.
“Hey, Rach, it’s me. Call me when you’re ready to talk.” I ended the call still feeling the pang of guilt eating at my gut. I hated that she needed me, and I left her hanging.
I got up, trying not to dwell on it. I made coffee and glanced around the kitchen. I didn’t have much of an appetite, which wasn’t uncommon when I had a lot on my mind.
I heard the shower shut off and a couple of minutes later I heard Hayley move from the bathroom into her bedroom. I wondered how long she was going to hide in there before she decided to deal with me.
I made breakfast and when I heard her come out, I kept my back to her. I didn’t want her to run the other direction.
“I hate when you do that,” she growled.
“What?”
“Know me well enough to not make any sudden movements so I won’t run away.”
I chuckled. She was in a feisty mood. That was promising.
“I was thinking,” she said, clearing her throat a little, “we could go into the jungle. I know this place where they do zip lining. It’s a lot of fun. And then we could hit this great spot for some food and beer.”
I plated up breakfast and set the plate down in front of her. She glanced up and our eyes met for the first time. Electricity zinged between us. Her brown eyes dilated, and her full lips parted.
I wanted nothing more than to claim her mouth and distract the hell out of her until she was screaming my name and too sated to run. But now wasn’t the time. We needed time together without any pressure of decisions or anything else. We could just go and have fun.
We ate breakfast in silence and got ready in more silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. She was thinking and processing some stuff. So was I.
I tried Rachel a couple more times. I didn’t like feeling I’d missed my window to help my little sister. Maybe she called Isabis, Alicia, Neil, or even Raph if she was in a tight spot.
We hit the road, me behind the wheel. I didn’t ask. I took the keys and took the lead. Hayley navigated.
“Turn up there,” she said.
I followed her directions.
“We’ll have to hike up,” she said.
I smirked. “I definitely have some energy to burn.”
Her eyes widened just a little and she licked her lips, her gaze dropping to mine. It was nice to know she wasn’t impervious to me.
I got out of the car before her. She followed suit. The dirt trail was well worn and a little muddy from recent rain. The jungle humidity hit me pretty hard. I wasn’t a stranger to humidity, but it was kicking my ass this morning. My tank top clung to me like a second skin and sweat dripped off me like someone opened a spout. Hayley took the lead. Her ass swaying from side to side did nothing to cool me down and my cock was getting ideas of its own.
I checked my phone to distract myself. Of course, no service in the middle of nowhere. I hoped Rachel wouldn’t call while I was out of reach.
“Who are you obsessing about calling you?” Hayley asked, slowing to fall in step with me. “You got a girl on the hook or something?”
“No hook. Rachel has been trying to get ahold of me. And I’ve been the dick purposefully out of reach.”
“Is she okay?”
“I don’t know. I called her a few times, but her phone must be off. I hope I don’t miss her while we’re out of range.”
“She’s sixteen. What possible emergencies could she have?” Hayley asked.
“Most likely, Bex has gotten herself into trouble. Rachel watches out for her when she’s getting too rebellious.”
“She’s a tattl
etale, huh?”
“I wouldn’t say that. She’s protective and she worries about Bex. Bex is never angry at her. At least not permanently. They are sisters.”
“Why doesn’t she act out her own rebellious nature? She’s sixteen. Shouldn’t she be having fun?”
“Rachel is a lot like me.”
“Super focused and no fun?”
“She’s going to be a doctor. She’s pretty determined. Mom and Dad have her in a great private school. She’s working her ass off. Bex wants to be a rock star. And she will be. She’s just as driven. But Bex needs to finish high school. And probably college too. Rachel is just trying to keep her head out of the clouds all the time. Much like I’ve done for my big dreamer siblings time and time again.”
“Kids’ heads should be in the clouds. They should dream.”
“Yeah, but they also need to learn to work hard and learn how to be an adult.”
Hayley shoved me. “You weren’t always this stick-in-the-mud. I remember when you had dreams.”
“Yeah, and I worked my ass off for them.”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I worked more as a kid than you did. But kids shouldn’t rush their childhood. They should be kids.”
I glanced over at her. I knew she’d had a rough childhood. She loved acting, but her parents destroyed any love she had for it by making her do it all the time and they got plenty rich off her hard work.
“You’re right. I’m sorry you didn’t get to dream more, Hayles. What would you have dreamed about?”
Hayley glanced over at me. “The sad thing is, I loved acting. I would still be doing it if my parents hadn’t been such assholes. They didn’t let me have any say about what projects I took on. They just looked for the big dollar signs.”
“You could go back now, you know? They don’t have any say over your life.”
Hayley shrugged. “I don’t know. I wake up in paradise every day now and I don’t have anyone to answer to at all. Aside from Bryssa, but she’s laid back as long as I do my job.”
“When did you become so freaked out by commitment?” I asked.
She sputtered. “I’m not afraid of commitment.”
“Then what is it? You want to live your life completely devoid of anyone having any expectations or connected to anyone. You don’t even want to commit to something that would make you happy. You don’t have to act all the time. You could pick your projects.”
“Matt, I haven’t been part of the acting life for fifteen years. You can’t just walk in and pick the parts you want.”
“You couldn’t do that even if you stayed in the acting world.”
“You probably can if you’re Richard Wright and Donna Winters.”
“If only you knew one of them personally, knowing they would want to help you,” I said.
Hayley rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Why do you care?”
“Because I care about you, Hayles. And if something would make you happy, I want you to have it.”
“I promise, if acting was something I really wanted, I would go after it.” She said it, but I didn’t believe her. I was starting to wonder if she was hiding in Mexico rather than living her life.
16
Hayley
I felt Matt’s eyes on me as the zip line guy secured the harness around my hips. I tried to keep my gaze forward, but I had to admit, I wanted to stare at him too. He’d always been hot but since we’d slept together and he started kissing me, touching me, and fighting with me even more, I felt drawn to him.
It scared me. He always said the right things. I’d mentioned wanting to go back to acting to a couple of the guys I’d been seeing in the past. They acted like it was some preposterous idea. Why on earth would I want to do that? Especially when they wanted to give me money, jewelry, and boats just to be at their beck and call.
Why did Matt have to be the only man who understood? Why did he have to be the only man I’d ever imagined tying myself to? And why did he have to come to me when he was so vulnerable? I couldn’t take advantage of his grief. He didn’t want me. He wanted the world to make sense and he was looking for that in me. Kissing me wasn’t the answer…as much as I wanted it to be.
I was loaded up on the zip line first. I glanced back at Matt to find him watching me. “See you on the downside,” I said.
He winked at me. “Have fun, Hayles.”
And with that, I was off. I bounced a little down the initial plunge of the line. I grabbed the cords that suspended me from the line above and held on. The jungle surrounded me as I plunged through the trees. I hoped Matt would enjoy his ride. I found it peaceful and exhilarating.
I hit a hard corner and my carabineer popped. I quickly gauged where I was in the zip line. I still had plenty of time before I reached the end. I tried to reach up and rehook the line, but I couldn’t reach it. Shit. Shit. Shit. I hit another curve and the carabineer snapped. I let out an involuntary scream and clung to the one rope holding me. I was flailing all over the place.
I tried to steady myself as the line took another dip and swung around another corner.
“Fuck,” I grunted as I tried to keep myself from swinging. The last thing I needed was for the other side to give out on me. I wasn’t sure the fall would kill me, but it would most likely end my surfing, diving, and walking days.
After my fight with Matt last night, I had no intention of making him worry about me. I knew if I got hurt now, he would be a mess. More than that, I didn’t want to get hurt. I’d been hurting enough lately.
The line bounced and I closed my eyes and gripped the rope tight, praying it would hold. So much for serenity and excitement. Now it was just holding on for dear life. Once the ride evened out again, I relaxed a little and opened my eyes.
The trees and foliage whipped by and I couldn’t wait for this ride to come to an end. Another violent bounce and I squelched another scream. I heard voices and angled myself to see the platform down the line. Thank God, it was almost over.
After another terrifying few seconds, someone caught me. He rattled off something in Spanish and helped me find my footing.
“You all right?” he asked.
I nodded and, once I was free of the contraption, stumbled away to the railing. I heard the whine of another zip liner come down. It was Matt. I hoped he didn’t see anything.
“Hayley! Are you okay?”
So much for that.
I watched as Matt got unhooked and then he made a beeline for me. He grabbed my shoulders and lifted my chin. “Hayley?”
“I’m fine. It was a little intense, but I’m fine.”
“Scared the hell out of me,” Matt growled.
“Shit happens, Matt. I’m fine.” I stormed past him and headed down the hill. It would be a short hike back to the Jeep and I was ready for it. I needed to clear my head. I didn’t like him worrying about me so much. Did he worry like this when he didn’t see me for years on end? If he wanted me in his life so much, why on earth was it so fucking easy for him to be away from me for such large chunks?
I heard him stomping behind me like a pouting twelve-year-old. As soon as we were clear of anyone, I turned on him. “You’re seriously going to be pissed off about something completely out of my control?”
His startling blue eyes narrowed. “No. I’m not pissed that you ended up in that situation. I’m pissed at you for making so little out of it. If I hadn’t seen it, would you have even told me?”
“No.”
“That’s why I’m pissed off.”
“Matt, you jumped down my throat last night for being dangerous. You’ve barely been in my life the last five years. And suddenly you’re pissed I’m swimming with sharks and getting drunk on the beach. You’re not a part of my life, Matt. You used to be. I honestly thought I wasn’t going to see you again. I figured you’d just fade away. But your friend dies and you go off the beaten path to me. Why? Because no one would think to look for you here?”
“Hayley…”
&nb
sp; I put my hand up. “No. Listen here, Matthew Wright. I have been taking care of myself since I was seven years old. I don’t need a father or a big brother.”
“You don’t need anybody, ever,” he snapped.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“You never lean on anyone. You never ask for help.”
“That’s not true. I just don’t ask you.”
“And why the hell not? You ever think that one of the reasons I don’t come around is because I know you don’t need me for anything?”
“I need my friend, Matt. Not a big brother. You don’t know what to do with yourself if you’re not needed. It’s why you can’t keep your phone turned off. You thrive on being needed. And you’re pissed at me because I don’t need you. I’m a capable woman.”
“Then what do you need from me as a friend?”
“How about support? How about a fucking shoulder to cry on when I get proposed to again by some schmuck who thinks he’s good enough for me?”
“Oh, you mean the ones you never tell me about?”
“Well I told you and it didn’t really matter. I know it’s my fault. I pick terrible guys to sleep around with. But guys all have the same ego problem. They want to take care of me. They want to take me away from my terrible life of being a lonely spinster. But guess what, asshole. I’m not a lonely spinster. I like my life. I live my life. Nothing holds me back.”
“Then why not seek out a guy who is good enough for you?”
“Because where would we live, Matt? Since the day you moved from Los Angeles, I knew we would never be able to be together. That day our paths separated, and we’ve been holding onto each other fruitlessly. You came here to escape, not to find yourself.”
He stopped and stared at me. There was a pained expression on his face, but I couldn’t read it. I didn’t understand it. It was more proof we didn’t know each other anymore. Not really.
Seducing My Best Friend (The Wrights Book 2) Page 12
