The longer I lay curled up with Matt, the more I realized what a mistake it had been to let him kiss me again. And the condom thing? Really? I dated enough that it was important to be prepared because if I counted on the guy, I would never get laid. In my head, before Matt and I got too hot and heavy, I thought about the condoms in my emergency bag. But then I didn’t think it mattered. I knew Matt would be clean and I was too. I would never put him in danger of getting a disease. But then I had a moment picturing myself pregnant with his baby and suddenly I felt like gambling.
Dumb. Stupid. Moronic.
Birth control certainly wasn’t one hundred percent. They liked to preach that in health class, and I knew better. Even Rachel, using both birth control pills and a condom, got pregnant. It happened all the time. Women were accused of having affairs because men thought there was no way around birth control. Even vasectomies weren’t foolproof. I had a cousin who was proof of that. And yet I rolled the dice on unprotected sex because, for a moment of complete and utter stupidity, I wanted to have Matt’s baby.
I couldn’t lie against him anymore. I couldn’t have him wake up and be all glowy and happy because of the hot sex and want to instigate another round. I gently slipped out of his arms and made a beeline for the bathroom. After I emptied my bladder, I got into the shower. I needed to wash away his scent, the pleasant ache between my thighs, and any fluids that had passed between us.
The hot water steamed up the bathroom. I couldn’t help but replay the night with Matthew practically worshipping my body. And the way he looked at me…I shivered at the thought of it.
Spencer, or any other man, had never made me feel that desired and like everything revolved around me. Not forever, just for that night. And then I thought about Matt looking at me like he hated me because our friendship was ruined.
I closed my eyes, trying to shut it out. I didn’t want to think about it falling apart, even though I knew that’s what would happen. It’s always what happened.
After it was clear the shower wasn’t going to help me relax, I got dressed and headed out to find us some food. He would be up soon enough. The heat of the day would wake anyone from the dead.
I turned on my cell phone to see if anyone had called. No voicemails, but as if my mother could sense I was in turmoil, the phone rang. And like an idiot, I answered it.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Where have you been?” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve called you at least a dozen times. You sleeping around with some guy again, don’t want to be disturbed?”
“No, I’m off with a friend and I didn’t want to be disturbed.”
“A friend? Who?” she demanded.
“Matt Wright,” I said.
“Oh really?” I could practically feel her smirking.
“Mom, would you just leave it?” I said, not wanting to hear whatever she smugly thought she knew.
“Why is he in Mexico?” she asked.
“He needed a vacation.”
“I heard about his womanizing baseball buddy.”
“Mom, you didn’t know the guy. He was a good man and someone very dear to Matt.”
“He was a womanizer. He even hit on me once.”
“I’m sure he did. Did you need something?”
“Can’t I call to check in on my daughter?”
“Of course, you can, but that’s not why you called.”
“I’m killing two birds with one stone. I wanted you to know I’m getting divorced. I moved out of the house with Rocky.”
I rolled my eyes. “What happened, Mom?”
“What always happens. He wanted a younger model so he brought her home and fucked her all over the house we made together.”
“Where are you moving to?” I prayed she wasn’t going to ask to come stay with me.
“It’s funny that you mention that, sweetie. I thought I was long overdue to come see my daughter. I thought we could spend the holidays together.”
“Mom, I wasn’t planning on being home for the holidays,” I lied. So, sue me. I didn’t think I could take a couple of weeks of my newly divorced mother.
“Where are you going to be?”
“Aspen. I am going to spend the holidays with the Wrights. Donna invited me.”
“That woman,” my mother sneered, “isn’t her family big enough that she doesn’t need to steal mine?”
“She’s not stealing me. I didn’t know you were going to be moving. Where are you going to go after the holidays?”
“I don’t know, honey. I won’t have a lot of money until Rocky starts paying me alimony. But Gilbert did say I could stay with him if I wanted until I found a place.”
“Who is Gilbert?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Gilbert is my boyfriend. He’s been doting on me while Rocky has been cheating on me.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Don’t take that tone with me, young lady. I didn’t deserve to be cheated on,” she snapped.
“I didn’t say that,” I defended. “But why not try and work on one of your marriages instead of going through an escape hatch with another man?”
“Do you really think Rocky was worth my time?”
“I don’t think any of the men you’re with are worth your time. You don’t give yourself enough credit. You get together with men who can take care of you financially but not emotionally or physically.”
“Rocky was a very good lover.”
“Mom!”
“What?”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “All I’m saying is maybe find a man who you want to work it out with instead of both of you jumping ship.”
“Like you? Have you broken up with Spencer yet?” she asked with that smirk in her voice.
“In fact, yes, we broke up last week. He proposed to me.”
“And of course, you said no.” Mom sounded as disappointed in me as I did in her.
“Damn straight I said no. I don’t love him. I was having fun. And then he went and got all serious on me.”
“And now you’re hanging out with your friend? The boy you’ve been in love with since you were fourteen.”
I didn’t respond.
“That’s what I thought. The only difference between me and you, dear, is that you put all your eggs in one basket thinking you would never get hurt that way. That boy has kept you on a string dangling you along since he was sixteen years old. And you hang out waiting for him to see you’re standing right there. He’s never going to…”
“He already has!” I regretted it immediately.
“Already has what?” she said in cold voice. “Proposed? Told you he loves you?”
“Never mind. He hasn’t done anything.”
“Oh, you stupid girl, you slept with him, didn’t you? He’s going to go home at the end of the week and what are you going to do then?”
I ended the call. I didn’t have an answer and I didn’t want to hear anything more. I already regretted everything. How stupid was I to go down this path with him? Mom was right, I’d been in love with him forever and he always knew where to find me. He wasn’t going to keep me after this was over. He’d always known where I was…sitting on his backburner until someone better came along. And someone better than me would always come along.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to kick and scream but not in public. I put on a stoic face and finished my chore of finding breakfast.
I opened the room door slowly and quietly so I didn’t wake him up if he was still asleep. But he wasn’t. He was standing in the bathroom doorway in nothing but a towel.
“There you are,” he said. “I was beginning to wonder if you just left me here.”
I licked my lips unconsciously as I moved to set the food down, trying not to look too much at him in the towel, but damn was he hot.
“I wouldn’t do that. I woke up with my stomach growling,” I said, managing to throw him a smile but not quite meet his eyes.
“Hey…”
I could hear him moving up behind me. He didn’t touch me, but he was right behind me. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I just talked to my mom. And I shouldn’t have.”
“It’s more than that. Are you already regretting what happened last night?”
“No, I—I don’t know. Matt, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.” I turned around and immediately knew it was a mistake. His nostrils flared, his eyes were hooded and full of desire, and the towel looked like it was losing all ambition to keep hanging around his hips. I cleared my throat. “But let’s not talk about it right now. I brought breakfast and—”
Matt silenced me, his tongue quickly invading my mouth. And just like that, I melted against him. All my worries went silent and watched the show as Matt devoured me.
I wrapped my arms around him and made quick work of helping the towel down to the ground. I found him hard, with pre-cum moistening the head of his very large dick. God, he was hot. I could worship his body for the rest of my days and never get tired.
He grunted against my mouth as I stroked him while he started yanking off my clothes that were clearly bothering him. He shoved me back against the wall, grabbing my wrists and pinning them alongside me. He broke our kiss.
“If you keep stroking me like that, I’m not going to have a chance to fuck you properly.”
I smirked. “You’re that hot for me, huh?”
“Damn straight. You’re still wearing too many clothes and I’m way too hot for you to even bother moving to the bed. So, I’m going to get rid of this,” he reached around and unhooked my bra, quickly tossing it over his shoulder. “And these.” He all but tore my shorts and panties off in a whirlwind. And then he was lifting me into his arms and pressing my back against the wall while his hand cupped my pussy.
“Already so wet,” he growled.
He pushed two fingers into me and stroked roughly. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, enjoying the sensations he was creating. The friction and heat of the day had us both dripping with sweat and somehow it made it all the more erotic.
“Hayley.” Matt’s deep, husky voice drew my attention. I met his gaze. “Stay here with me.”
I bit my lower lip. His blue eyes were intense and hooded with desire. It made me squirm with him staring at me so intensely. I wanted to look away, but he somehow locked my gaze.
His thumb circled my clit and I squeezed my thighs around his hips, trying to gain some leverage so I could ride his hand better. I was completely at his mercy.
I gasped when his mouth sealed around one of my sensitive nipples. His teeth scraped along my skin. He was dragging it all out trying to keep me utterly distracted. And it was working.
“Matthew!” I screamed and in the next instant, I was coming hard around his pumping fingers. All I could do was hold on as he pushed me deeper into my orgasm.
Sagging against the wall, panting hard, Matt removed his hand and kissed me deeply. And without much effort, shifted us again, so I was sinking on his very hard cock.
I groaned, my pussy already sensitive from my explosive climax. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself against him. I wanted to feel him against me. Our bodies were slick and hot but I didn’t care.
As he pumped in and out of me slowly, I realized how much this was missing from my life, connecting with someone in a way beyond friendship. I’d never wanted to do it with anyone else I’d ever been with sexually. But this was powerful and overwhelming. It felt like coming home.
I kissed up his neck and along his chiseled jaw until I found his mouth again. And boy could he kiss. It made me dizzy with need and want.
Matt grunted against my mouth and his thrusts grew more urgent, as did my need. I didn’t want it to be over. I never wanted it to be over. Something deep in my gut knew someday, probably sooner than later, it would be, but I didn’t care right now. I wanted this. I wanted to be here with him like I knew he was with me.
I heard him murmur my name. I met his gaze and we both crashed over the edge completely locked into each other. I felt him come deep inside me and it only pushed me further into my orgasm, higher and higher.
I may have blacked out for a moment or two.
When I came to, Matt was carrying me into the bathroom. He slipped from me once he set me on the counter. I watched his hot, muscular butt as he bent over to turn on the shower.
“Mmm, good idea,” I said sluggishly. I thought I was wearing a goofy smile.
He turned around and hefted me off the counter and stood me in the shower. I gasped at the contrast of the cold water but it felt amazing. Matt climbed in after me and pulled the shower curtain.
We stood under the water kissing and enjoying the cooldown.
“We should’ve done this a long time ago,” he said against my ear.
I shivered, but it had nothing to do with the cold water.
Once we deemed ourselves clean and cooled down, Matt threw a towel at me. I had a moment in which I thought he was going to dry me off, but he seemed to restrain himself. I was a little disappointed. I’d never really been cared for. I thought of myself as an independent woman who didn’t need such things; why was I suddenly craving them?
Did having a man in my life suddenly make me needy? I didn’t need Matt to take care of me. And I certainly didn’t need him to dry me off after a shower.
Get a hold of yourself, Hayley, I snapped to myself. A day of superhot sex had me acting like some swooning teenager who couldn’t live without her man. And that wasn’t me.
I wouldn’t be someone as pathetic as my mother, who could never be alone because she hated herself so much and was incapable of standing on her own feet. I would never count on someone else for my own happiness.
I left Matt in the bathroom and went in search of clothes. I needed something to keep me from feeling so…naked.
20
Matt
I leaned against the counter watching Hayley flee the room. I knew she was freaking out again. After the bliss of a few orgasms and a cooldown, she was thinking again. If only I could keep the blood from flowing to her brain so much. She was determined to overthink this whole thing.
I knew her mother was a big part of the reason she didn’t want to commit to anyone. The woman had hopped from man to man like it was a game she was trying to win. She didn’t want to be single and alone. If her mom would get her head out of her ass, she’d probably get her daughter back and she wouldn’t feel so alone. But all she did was drive Hayley away. She was judgmental and cruel.
Hayley would do everything in her power to keep from ending up like her mother, including be in any kind of relationship. I had no idea how to convince her that, aside from the mind-blowing sex, nothing in our relationship had to change. I knew there were obstacles, and decisions would have to be made, but it would be stupid to think we wouldn’t have those decisions no matter what, even if we were living next door to each other.
I toweled off and headed out, hoping I gave her enough time to dress. She needed to feel in control, so I was giving her the space she needed. If I pushed, she was going to bolt and this whole thing would end before we even had a chance.
I didn’t know how I was going to convince her to consider this. I had no intentions of letting her off the hook easily, though. I wouldn’t pressure her, but I had to show her what being with me would mean.
Not that I was sure I had anything to offer her. Hayley was a self-sufficient woman without many needs. At least none she would admit to. She hated it when she needed something from someone else. Mostly because her parents had made her pay for any need she’d had growing up.
We would have a lot to figure out if I could just convince her to give me a real shot.
I found her sliding her tank top on over her bra. It made me sad to see her clothed.
“What are we doing today?” I asked.
She turned around. “Um, I’m not sure. I thought we would head back to my house. And then figure things out from there. I’d li
ke a change of clothes.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
We returned our key, loaded up the car, and headed back onto the road.
Hayley kept glancing over at me. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. “What’s on your mind, Hayles?”
She raked her teeth over her lower lips. “Is it like that for you?”
That wasn’t what I was expecting. “Is what like that for me?”
She was quiet for a minute. “The sex. Is it like that for you with other women?”
“No,” I replied flatly and truthfully. I knew exactly what she was talking about because the sex had never been like that. With Hayley, it was mind-blowing, overwhelming, and so much more than I could’ve ever hoped for. I couldn’t remember a time when it had ever come even close to what I had with Hayles.
“Yeah, me either,” she said.
I didn’t know where she was going with this, but I didn’t pressure her for more information. Hayley processed things slowly sometimes and it was best to let her work it out. Once she did, I would have a better idea of where I stood.
We drove in silence for a while. The sun was hot, and the shore was beautiful. It was great to enjoy the waves. It was so different here than in California. I could see why Hayley enjoyed it down here.
“Have you ever been in love? I don’t remember a time you ever talked to me about finding a girl to love.”
“I haven’t, not really. Dumbass love, where it was a lot of sex and I thought the girl and I were compatible. But then a month would pass, and it was over like nothing happened. I’ve always wanted something like my parents. They found each other and against the greatest odds found a way to make it work. They were in different countries. They had a romance making their first movie together. They both came to a crossroads, but they made it work and never looked back. They’re so in love to this day, grossly in love. They’re way more affectionate than any of us Wright kids appreciate. Though, secretly, I think we all like to see them happy.”
“Their situation sounds familiar.”
Seducing My Best Friend (The Wrights Book 2) Page 15
