I felt sick, and I had to fight the urge to rest my hand on his arm, to ease the distress on his face.
"And Callisa?"
"She persevered, but she grieved Alaric immensely."
I bit the inside of my cheek, my eyes stinging, and clenched my fists. "Why?" It came out low and hoarse. I don’t expect an answer. We both knew that Theia was unhinged, a torturous demented being.
He shook his head and turned to face me. His eyes were flinty and hard. A shiver rolled through my body at the unveiled torment in his face. Is that what he deals with daily?
"Every single day in that prison, I watched myself become someone unrecognizable. Through the beatings, the grief, the sleepless nights. I don't even think I know who I am anymore without those four walls, and it has been so damn long since I have had to be anything but a pillar of strength, for me, for Azael, for the countless other people in that prison who grieved their freedom every day." He bit out, shaking with his confessions.
I was trying so hard, so very hard, but a tear slipped out anyway. I can't stop picturing him surrounded by dirty, cracked walls, no windows, no sunlight. He continued. "It's been a very long time since we’ve had to be anything but cruel and callous to survive. So, forgive us if we need your patience, if our barriers were constructed a little too strongly for your liking. And forgive me if I'm worried that you'll do more harm than good, because Aeryn, I feel like you have the power to crush us all over again."
It was by unspoken agreement that we both ignored the tears streaming down my face. Inside I was a wreck; I was shaking with the revelations of what they really went through in that place. The losses that he had suffered. The tremor in his voice as he confessed his deepest secrets and fears.
He sighed. "Come here." For a moment, I was stunned, stock still.
"Come on," he repeated hoarsely, patting the ground next to him.
I lifted myself up from the hard dirt, bones aching and shifting with the movement, and padded across the expanse to his side.
We sat in silence for a long moment before I sniffled audibly. Then I felt it. His arm stretched across my shoulders, cupping my right shoulder. A heavy, comforting weight against my back. He tugged me into his side, he was warm, and he smelt of charcoal and cinnamon.
Neither of us acknowledged the small consolation he was providing, we never met eyes, and the space between us remained silent and unfilled with words.
Several more minutes passed, filled with the sounds of the forest and the fire crackling before I acquiesced and laid my head down on his hard shoulder. My muscles slowly lost their tension, and my tears had dried up, but I still felt worn out, emotionally drained. So, I would take the moment of solace; because goddess knows I did not get many.
CHAPTER 9
“Aeryn, are you almost ready?” Eleste called as she gathered her things. I nodded, tying my hair back and brushing the dirt from my body. One early morning training session with Elias, and my body was aching. Though not as bad as when we first started several weeks ago. I had been feeling more confident in my abilities, in my strength.
“Good training today,” Nerys said approvingly. I grinned, pleased by the rare compliment.
“I appreciate all your help,” my eyes flicked to Elias nearby as he sharpened his knife. “Your help as well, Elias. I was worried it would be too hard to learn so many new techniques, and I’m grateful for your patience.” He gave me a small nod, and like it pained him to do so, a small smile. I suppressed my own. We hadn’t spoken of last night, but our dynamic had shifted ever so slightly. He was kinder during training, and I didn’t feel quite so awkward complimenting him, knowing I wouldn’t be rebuffed instantly.
Bastien walked by, black waves shining under the midday sun. “I want crescent rolls,” he groaned, rubbing his flat stomach. Carwyn scoffed, bumping him with her hip.
“Yeah, right. Tarts are better than crescent rolls.” She remarked, her deep brown eyes reflecting her amusement.
Bastien’s eyes sparked. “Yes,” he growled. “Tarts are better.” Carwyn elbowed him, giving him a deep scowl and walking over to Eleste, swinging her hips all the way. I gave a small laugh at the confusion and frustration on his face. Poor Bastien.
Azael approached slowly, his pale waves falling into his eyes and curling over his ears. “Time to go,” he said with an affectionate tug on my braid. I scowled, shaking his hand off and ignoring his smirk.
The trip to the town was uneventful, and longer than we had anticipated. By the time we arrived, the sun had almost fallen entirely, and the moon was peeking out from the scattered clouds. I was used to the market’s bustle, the various vendors’ yelling, and the children playing in the cobblestone streets. The rest of the group, however, were silent in their perusal. It had been so long since they’d been in a town, I’m sure it was bringing up old memories. We spent an hour walking to various displays and shops. Eleste found a green silk scarf and Nerys, a small notebook.
I tugged Callisa’s sleeve, pulling her towards the merchant selling fresh strawberries, and bought several. She popped a few in her mouth, her eyes widening at the taste, and I watched as a large smile formed. She passed them around, with only Nerys declining. Azael met my eyes as he bit into his, slurping at the sides. He finished it fast, his lips tinted pink as my cheeks and sucked the juice off the ends of his fingers. I felt my face heat, and rolled my eyes at his eager display. The others had ignored his little show, moving towards our inn for the night.
“Goddess, you’re so frustrating I could just scream.”
"I think I'd like to hear you scream," he whispered hotly. "Might I suggest my name?"
I sauntered up to his lean frame with a suggestive sway to my hips, and settled my left hand onto his warm chest. His eyes flared with lust and heat, and his fists clenched at his sides.
Leaning deeper into his body, I raised my head to the pale exposed skin between his collarbone and neck. I gently ran my nose along the length, up to right under his ear, followed by just the hint of my lips. He inhaled a sharp breath and emitted a deep groan. His right hand settled firmly on my hip, gripping the skin just short of pain. I used my right hand to pull my knife from my leather thigh sheath in one smooth motion and lay it flat against the front of his trousers. Keeping the sharp tip from doing any damage, but making sure he could feel the cool hard flat of the blade.
All his muscles tensed at once as his throat worked a rough swallow, and his hand contracted on my hip.
My face still in the crook of his neck, I moved closer to his ear and whispered, "I am not a toy for your amusement." Lifting the blade several inches, I relished in his sharp gasp, before backing up a step.
He shuddered, stepping away slowly and avoiding any sudden motions. His eyes were glinting madly in the moonlight, and his face looked several shades paler than usual.
I turned on my heel, with a parting wave in his direction. "Bye, loverboy," I called out mockingly, allowing myself a self-satisfied smirk and a round of metaphorical applause. I heard the echo of his deep laughter rebound off the street as I made my way to our inn.
The others were hiding smirks when I arrived, and the first to break the silence was Bastien, with a loud clap to my shoulder and a sharp laugh.
“You saw that?” I asked, head cocked.
Eleste giggled and nodded. “Someone had to take him down a notch.”
Callisa gestured from a table that she’d reserved near the fireplace. Kerosene lamps lined the walls, flickering off the rowdy customers and scattering shadows into the corners. The table was a warm brown, covered in nicks and scrapes. We slid in next to her, Azael last with an apologetic smile. It felt good to have flustered him, if only just slightly. I was no easy target, even if I was incapable of withholding a flush at his antics. I was no blushing virgin, but something about his attractive magnetism made me speechless.
I glanced over at the bar as Callisa detailed our rooms for the night. A man was watching us. His angular eyes narrowed in my dire
ction, and his long black hair shone in the limited lighting. I watched him from the corner of my eye, turning to get Azael’s attention, but when I glanced back, he was gone. I frowned, uneasy about his sudden departure. “You okay?” Elias asked, his brows furrowed in confusion.
“Just fine,” I smiled halfheartedly, doing a quick scan once more for the man and finding nothing.
“Carwyn, want to grab more drinks with me?”
She looked perplexed, but nodded nonetheless. Bastien watched her as she rose from her seat, a tiny smirk on his face.
Raucous laughter filled the small space as we made our way to the counter. Groups of men cloistered around tables, faces red and clothing skewed as they yelled over their ale.
Once we were far enough that they would not hear us, I caught Carwyn’s elbow. She turned to look at me with a small frown. “Are you okay? What’s going on with you and Bastien?”
Her eyes darted back through the sea of people to where our table was located near the corner. “Nothing.”
I raised an eyebrow, calling her bluff.
She sighed, all her muscles drooping. Her signature black leather pants and black blouse wrinkled with the effort. When she met my eyes, I could see the depth of her exhaustion. “Is it that obvious?” She whispered defeatedly. I had never seen her look so unsure; Carwyn was the very definition of a confident, self-assured warrior.
I tried to reassure her. “No, I just noticed a lot of tension.”
“I have loved that man for a thousand years, and sometimes I feel like I don’t even exist in his eyes.”
“Don’t write it off yet, Carwyn. Have you told him?”
She reared back in disgust. “Absolutely not!”
I gave a small smile at her outburst. “Then how do you know for sure?”
“It will ruin us,” she murmured.
“Sometimes things are better ruined.” I patted her arm gently, and knowing that she did not appreciate physical touch, avoided giving her an embrace.
She bit her lip and shook her head. I did not believe she would tell him anytime soon, but I was glad to have expressed my support.
CHAPTER 10
I awoke that morning to yelling in the hallway. Next to me, Callisa’s eyes flew open and met mine. A banging on our door had us jumping out of bed and lunging for our things. The door slammed open, making my heart race in my chest and my grip on my dagger tighten with fear. A tall man with long dreads poked his head in, a frantic look on his weathered face. “You kids need t’wake; there’re soldiers about.” More shouts rang out, and I finished quickly pulling on my boots before stumbling over to the door.
“What’s going on?” I asked, eyes wide.
“Think they’re here for you. Talking about lookin’ for a group.” My heart dropped in my chest. Gods, that man that was watching us last night. Callisa frowned, tying back her long blonde hair and pulling her sword from its sheath. “Don’t want any trouble.” He continued. “I wanted to give you a fighting chance, remind me of my daughters you do.”
I thanked him sincerely, rushing out the door and pulling Callisa behind me. The voices were coming from the tavern below the inn. Nerys and Eleste, Bastien, Elias, and Azael rushed into the hallway clutching their things. “We need to go,” I urged, shoving my mass of silver hair behind my ears and tucking my black blouse into my trousers. I patted my pocket, making sure my dagger was still there, and turned to find the man who warned us standing near the main stairs. “Is there another exit?” He nodded, pointing towards the turn to the left and holding his fingers up to his lips in a shushing motion.
I had never seen Azael so serious; his face was grim, and he clutched a throwing knife in each hand. He looked dangerous, formidable.
“Go,” he said to us all, cocking his head towards the alternative exit.
“Absolutely not,” Elias and Callisa scowled. The rest of the group protested as well while I shook my head.
“Please,” he begged, a rare performance from such a dominating man. “You haven’t had nearly enough training Aeryn, and it’s been a while for everyone. Someone needs to take her and stay with her.” He said, addressing the original group.
Callisa nodded, pulling on my arm and tugging me towards the exit. “Wait!” I cried, “are you sure? I don’t want to leave everyone; what if you get hurt?” He stroked one long finger down my cheek then quickly pressed a warm kiss to my forehead. It said something to me, that instead of my lips in this moment of panic and fear, he kissed me somewhere chaste, somewhere comforting. It told me that I might have misjudged him.
"I've walked this earth for a long time, Aeryn.” He murmured against my skin, cockily.
Before I could react, he pushed me in Callisa’s direction and turned to address everyone. Callisa tugged me down the hall, our feet pounded on the wooden flooring and echoed off the peeling walls. Several more turns, and we approached a window facing the inn’s back, built up against the Gwynoan forest. “We’re immortal,” she spoke between pants, “even though our powers are not working the most they could do is severely injure us and capture us while we’re incapacitated.” I completely forgot their immortal status, but I still lamented over leaving them, this group of beings that had given me a home, somewhere I could belong.
“Oh gods,” Callisa breathed in horror, examining the dead end. I rushed over to the window, frantically scanning for anyone below and relieved when I saw nothing. I could now hear distant sounds of fighting down the hall. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a rickety wooden staircase below the windowsill leading to the ground below.
“Callisa, look!” She hurried over, throwing the window open and hesitating before nudging me to go first. I took several steps, breathing faster at the height and the gaps in the wood beneath me. The structure swayed slightly as I took each step and I gritted my teeth against my fears. Callisa followed behind me, taking small steps and shutting the window from the outside. As soon as we were close enough, I leaped to the ground, rolling slightly and wincing at the impact. I quickly peeked around the building, looking for guards.
“Let’s go,” she whispered just as I heard a shout from behind us. Several guards with triumphant looks on their faces approached from the opposite side of the building, brandishing their knives. One took a running leap at Callisa, and she quickly kicked out at his abdomen. He grunted and swiped out at her with his fist. I withdrew my dagger, ready for the woman approaching me. Her dark eyes glinted dangerously, and she immediately swiped out at my left side with her blade. I pulled a move Elias taught me from my memory and feigned like I was going to kick her before lunging forwards and jabbing my dagger towards her midsection. I could hear various grunts and groans coming from Callisa’s direction. The woman in front of me shrugged off her cloak and threw herself backward, barely avoiding my blade. My knife caught on her stomach, slicing her shirt slightly and leaving a slash on her abdomen. I cried out triumphantly, blocking her fist with my forearm and wincing at the power behind her blow.
I saw one of the men Callisa was fighting go down as she whirled to finish off her next opponent. She was incredible in action, her curvy form always in motion, her blonde braid whipping around her shoulders with each lunge.
The woman I was fighting had a sneer on her cold features. I curled my lip, sweeping her right foot out from under her and stabbing my dagger into her chest as she stumbled backward. Her raven-colored hair haloed beneath her once she hit the ground; blood leaked from her wound and onto the surrounding grass as she gave a pained moan. I felt a twinge in my stomach, not entirely guilt but something close. My first kill, the first death at my hands. That woman was lying there because I put her there. I shook off my nerves and checked on Callisa, just as she struck down the second guard.
I scanned our surroundings for the others but found no one. Callisa huffed, brushing the dirt off her brown cloak. “Blood,” she scoffed, sounding fiercer than I’d ever heard the sweet woman. It was hard to reconcile their warrior natures with the domest
ic tasks they performed around camp. I knelt, shakily wiping the blood off my dagger and onto the woman's dark blouse. I spared a moment to close her open and unseeing eyes, swallowed down my numbness, and got to my feet.
“Let’s head into the forest,” Callisa said hoarsely. Her cheeks glowed with exertion and sweat.
“Are you sure?” I thought of Azael, of the kiss he pressed to my skin, the hostile look on his handsome face.
“Yes, trust me, Aeryn.” She gave a small laugh.
“I do,” I replied gratefully. Her cheeks pinkened further, and she gave my hand a quick squeeze before leading us into the forest.
The trees quickly swallowed us up, spitting us into a quiet and misty clearing. The air was oppressive and mystical, all-consuming and silent. Reverent. We spoke in hushed whispers, both wary of disturbing the fragile peace.
“How do you think they found us?” Callisa asked, brushing a branch out of her path.
“There was a man at the bar last night; he was staring at us.” I slinked past the branch as she held it, feeling guilty that I had not alerted someone. “I’m sorry, he had disappeared so quickly; I thought it wasn’t a big deal. I should have known.” I spat out bitterly, toying with the end of my braid.
Callisa stopped, and put her hand on my shoulder gently. “You think I haven't read a situation wrong in my entire lifetime? Don’t worry about it. We’re not even sure that this man was the reason the guards found us.” Then softer, “he’s going to be fine, Aeryn.”
I snapped my eyes to her knowing ice blue ones. I wasn’t ready to discuss the attraction I felt to her brother. I was still coming to terms with it myself. Still resenting it, actively trying to pretend it didn’t exist. She must have read something in my gaze because she just gave me a small smile and a nod before pulling her hand away and forging forward. Callisa suddenly cried out; I looked over sharply to see an arrow protruding from her shoulder, just as another quickly landed in her opposite leg. I withdrew my dagger swiftly, and had just started moving toward Callisa when I felt a firm body against my back and something sharp at my throat.
Daughter of Retribution (Crescent Queen Book 1) Page 9
