Daughter of Retribution (Crescent Queen Book 1)

by Wren Cartwright

  I began panicking, my breaths sawing in and out, my anxiety rising. I ran across the field, leaving everyone behind, desperate to have my breakdown indoors.

  “Hi Aeryn, wait-!” Kaelen yelled as I ran by him in the entrance to the manor. I did not want to explain and didn’t want to expose my guilt and shame. Dear goddess, how can Azael wish to be with me? After knowing what I can do? What if I release my power someday and hurt him? I ran to the bathroom, throwing up into the basin.

  I heard the door crack open behind me and moaned. “Don’t come in here.” I heaved again, expelling my breakfast and the treat I had earlier. I couldn’t stop picturing his burnt skin, the smell rising on the breeze, his pained expression even in unconsciousness.

  Azael approached slowly, gathering my hair then pulling it back for me while I vomited. “Don’t-” I said weakly.

  “Shh,” he replied. “Let me do this.” Once I finished, he ran the water for a moment, then applied a cool washcloth to my forehead, allowing me to sink onto the bathroom floor. He sat behind me, tucking my head against his chest and wrapping his limbs around me, holding me tight.

  “I feel terrible,” I cried. “Asrian was so nice to me, and I fucking knocked him out with these stupid powers.”

  “Those stupid powers are going to save our kingdom, Aeryn.”

  “What if I hurt you?” I clutched his arm closer to me.

  “I see you. I know that you're impulsive and reckless and hard-headed and stubborn-"

  I interrupted with a choking laugh that sounded more like a sob, "fantastic."

  He held me tighter and stroked his hand down my arm, "just like I know that you're brave and kind, loving and caring, and that you always look after Elias when you think he's not being nice, and when you spend time with Callisa because she likes you so much and you adore her back. I see it all, and I love you anyway. I love you despite it. I love you because of it. I love you more for it... so please," he pulled in a deep shuddering breath and clutched me tighter, like I could just float away if he stopped paying attention for a moment, “please don't push me away just because you think you could hurt me. Nothing you do could hurt me more than being without you."

  I sniffled for a moment, then grabbed his hand and held it firm against my face. "Thank you," I managed to croak, nestling my damp face against his warm sweater. He stroked my hair silently and then exposed my face to wipe away the trail of tears.

  My expression must have conveyed my embarrassment because he tutted then swiped his thumb along my cheekbone lovingly. "I think no less of you, love; you will always be a formidable partner."

  I snorted out a laugh at how he always managed to say the right thing just when I needed it the most, and the corners up his lips turned up slightly as he gazed at me.

  CHAPTER 24

  The next morning, we all sat at the table, awaiting Lavinia. Several pitying and empathetic looks were thrown my way, and I withheld an embarrassed flush at the attention. I had apologized to Asrian earlier, when he showed me his undamaged chest and assured me that I did him no lasting harm. I was relieved to see that he was alright, even knowing that he was going to be. He was incredibly kind regarding the matter, telling me in no uncertain terms that he had clearly asked me to train so that I would try to strike him.

  Finally, after several minutes of inane chatter, Lavinia approached the table with a bowl of liquid and a candle. “Are you ready, my dear?” She asked me kindly. I nodded once, noticing Alaric sneering at her from the corner of my eye. I wondered if Alaric blamed himself for his years of service and felt the same disgust for himself that he did for Lavinia. Lavinia set up next to me, with Azael on my other side and Callisa hovering near the table’s edge. Everyone else stood nearby as silent spectators.

  Lavinia lit the tall white candle, letting it heat up. She then swept my hair back off my neck and tied it up. I squeezed Azael’s hand in mine, slightly wary of what would come next. The first time had been so painful. But all she did was lift the candle above my neck and let the hot wax drip slowly. It was a comforting feeling, dulled and both sensitive at the same time. Soothing. Once the wax dried, she dipped her index finger into the bowl of liquid and began drawing on my neck and whispering. Moments passed where we all waited, to see a reaction from me or my powers. I was not sure, but we waited. She finished with a flourish. “All done, you now have full control over your powers again. And Aeryn,” her blue eyes met mine. “I am sorry.”

  I smiled, patting her hand. “Thank you, Lavinia.”

  “They’ll be able to track us now, right? Because our essences are unshielded?” Eleste asked with a frown on her face. She was standing next to Corsin, as usual, in a light pink blouse and brown trousers. They were together often, from what I had heard from the others.

  Emrys answered, once again dressed in formidable black clothing. “Yes, but as we will be on the move, it should be alright, especially if they’re not actively in the area. They must have been right on your tail to have chased you all those years,” he said with a nod to me. We had filled him and Asrian in last night, my being on the run, finding Azael, training. It was strange having additions to the group. Asrian was kind and funny, a jokester. Emrys was quieter, a watchful force of power, much like Corsin.

  We made a moderate pace that time around. Things were a bit more stretched with so many of us, finding a good sleeping area, avoiding the towns, and splitting rations, but we made it work.

  “Ow!” Bastien exclaimed, letting loose a string of curses. Carwyn snickered behind her hand, and even Alaric cracked a smile.

  “Stinging nettle?” Elias called back from ahead.

  “Stupid, ridiculous things,” Bastien muttered.

  “Actually,” Corsin began, “the stinging nettle can be used as an anti-in-”

  “Nope, can’t justify nettles to me, Corsin. No point in trying.” Bastien stated firmly, interrupting him. Corsin rolled his eyes, and I nearly fell over.

  “Corsin, did you- did I just see you roll your eyes?” I clutched my chest dramatically.

  He snickered in response. Eleste beamed up at him, obviously enjoying his more playful side.

  I eyed a branch nearby, looking at Azael. He caught my glance and smirked, “good memories, love.” I stroked his arm once before continuing onwards.

  Camp was quiet that night, somber. Unlike the day preceding it, everyone seemed subdued.

  “What are you feeling?” Azael asked me, shifting on the grass to sit behind me and cradle my body with his. He set his arms on my stomach, and I threaded my fingers with his.

  “I’m nervous, excited, slightly scared. What if she’s different than who I met in my dreams? What if she doesn’t like me? It’s taken me twenty-one years to get to this point; what if she resents me?”

  “She could never hate you,” he said softly. “She’s so kind, so generous. She probably wishes she could see you in person with all her heart.”

  “And how are you feeling about it all?”

  “I’ve missed her greatly, but she has also missed a great deal of our lives. We are different people than who we were when we parted. It will take some adjusting.”

  I nodded, shifting closer to him and laying my head back on his shoulder. Across camp, Carwyn was leaning in towards Bastien, giggling while he laughed. Nerys was solemn-faced, making her bedding near the trees. Kaelen and Bram set up their bedroll while Eleste and Corsin chatted near the fire with Asrian and Kaelen. Callisa and Lyra were talking with heads bent together near the tree line; they looked utterly happy.

  “And that? Your darling sister finally finding a partner?” I teased, pointing towards Callisa.

  “I can’t even begin to tell you how happy I am for her,” he said, his eyes happy and set on the couple. But all too soon, his eyes drifted towards Alaric, glum-faced and watching a stoic Elias. Azael sighed. “Now, if only Alaric could find that same happiness.”

  It was hard watching Alaric adjust to being around his family. He was hesitant, closed
-off, and tired. I think he invested a lot of hope into seeing Elias again, and having Elias so angry with him broke his heart. He didn’t appear to be sleeping much, roaming the grounds instead.

  “Tell me your favorite color,” I said suddenly, trying to diffuse the tension.

  He laughed. “My favorite color? Of all the things I could tell you, you’d like to know which color I prefer?”

  I smiled. “Yes, no-one ever asks, but think of how important it is to know? For gifts, clothing, preferences. I’d like to know you, Azael.”

  He looked at me square in the eyes and said, “violet. My favorite color is violet.”

  CHAPTER 25

  “Wake, child,” a woman whispered near my ear. I opened my eyes slowly, turning to see Azael but seeing a dark dreamscape instead. I bolted upright, “Sinaia?”

  Her hazy form appeared before me. A wide smile spread across her pale face, and her long silver hair flowed around her waist. She was dressed in a long white gown, and suddenly I was wearing a large pink monstrosity. I laughed loudly, pulling it away from my body and eyeing her incredulously. She gave a mischievous smile, transforming it into a form-fitting black dress. There were no straps, just a sweetheart neckline. The dress was covered with lace sections, and flowed out at the ends around my feet, allowing me space to walk.

  I grinned at her creation, walking towards her hesitantly.

  “Oh, Aeryn,” she muttered, playing with my hair and patting down the dress. “How I missed you.”

  “I missed you too, Sinaia,” I teased. She looked embarrassed for a moment, a sheepish smile crossing her face.

  “I wanted to tell you,” she sighed softly. “But what if you never trusted me again? Stopped following my advice? You were too naive, too inexperienced. I did not want you to get hurt.” With a snap of my fingers, we were standing in a moonlit grove, a bench sat underneath the nearby willow tree, and a lake sat near our feet. Her eyes widened. “You got better.”

  “Everything improved once my powers surfaced,” I said as I sat on the ornate wooden bench.

  “Yes…” She took her place next to me. “I’m terribly sorry for the role you must play in this tragedy, Aeryn.” She looked to me with tears in her violet eyes, her eyes that looked so much like mine. “I could not have picked anyone better.”

  “Sinaia, there are too many questions unanswered. Please.”

  She took a deep breath. “It took me a millennium to stow away a kernel of power. I had been providing adamanteis with energy, as were mine who were locked away. I used that kernel to imbue my essence into several newborns.”

  I gaped. “Several?”

  She nodded. “They were tracked down over the years, less lucky than you, less resourceful. They were murdered in cold blood, drained before they could reach their full potential.”

  “Did you give enough of a blessing for them to have had the moon bolt as well?”

  “Yes.”

  Now the hard question. The one I wasn’t sure I wanted an answer to. “Did you choose me on purpose?”

  “Oh, my dear girl. I wish I could say yes, I wish I could say that I looked into your soul and saw the beautiful, strong person you would grow to be, but I’m afraid I sent my energy chaotically. Desperately hoping that someone could help me and mine.”

  I felt tears rise, and I was humiliated for it. Not wanting to show my isolation, my hurt. She continued, softer this time, “you are mine, Aeryn. I claim you.”

  “My own parents didn’t want me,” a single tear ran down my face. “Whether it was because my eyes were a weird color, or people were following them, I’ll never know. But I do know the cause had to be that I was different than everyone else.”

  “Different is not bad,” she whispered. “I have considered you mine for years, so please, do not take my claim as a thing of pity, daughter.”

  She wrapped her arms around me tightly, holding me until I no longer sniffed. She was more corporeal this visit, and she had the faint scent of lemons on her skin.

  “We’re coming for you,” I mumbled into her dress.

  “No matter what happens, I’m proud of you for making it so far,” she whispered.

  The dreamscape began to warp, and I felt my body being jostled in the real world. “I’ll see you soon… mother,” I tried hesitantly. Her beaming smile made the endearment immediately worth it, and she hugged me again just in elation. With a quick kiss to my forehead, she stepped back and waved sadly. “I’ll be seeing you soon, Aeryn.” It was bittersweet seeing her. I had missed her so intensely, seeing her back in the dreamscape was like a miracle. Seeing her in person would be even greater.

  Suddenly I was gasping awake, feeling like cold water had been thrown over me just to see the others standing around me in a circle. I frowned, looking to Azael, who sat worriedly by my side.

  “We weren’t sure what was happening,” Callisa said from her spot next to Lyra. “You were muttering and tossing but would not wake.”

  I told them about my dream with Sinaia, leaving out the personal parts. “What was so important that you needed me?” I asked.

  “I got my power back!” Bastien exclaimed.

  “As did I,” Elias stated. Alaric looked his way, rebuffed by the scowl that Elias turned on him.

  “I did not,” Carwyn said glumly.

  “And Nerys? Or you Callisa?”

  “Not yet,” Callisa replied sadly, though with a smile on her face. Lyra took her hand, rubbing circles on the top of it soothingly.

  "Any day now," I said reassuringly.

  "Do you think you could talk with Sinaia since we're so close to where she's resting?" Alaric asked quietly.

  "Sounds possible."

  Lavinia walked up then, looking like a shadow of her former self. All her energy was gone, and Velis trailed at her ankles. "I brought the supplies I need, but they have to be mixed with a few drops of the deirach elixir, and… I'm missing two ingredients," Lavinia said.

  "Which two?" Azael asked.

  "The hair of a dryad and the pearl of a naiad."

  Corsin looked at me with a small, pondering secretive smile.

  "Holy goddess," I shouted. "I have the pearl! Hold on- just-" I dug in my pocket, "here!"

  I finally understood what the naiad told me, what she had called me. Mouths were gaping, and Azael was beaming with pride.

  "Wait," I whispered. Fiddling with the locket around my neck, the one I could not open.

  "Elias, can you use your strength to open this?"

  "No!" Lavinia exclaimed, eyes wide in disbelief. "That's a dryad chain, meaning the locket will take an incantation to open." She walked towards me, brown trousers swaying in the breeze. "May I?"

  I pulled it over my neck, dropping it into her hand. It felt strange to part with after having it for so long.

  She held it up to her mouth, whispering to it. After several moments, a small click sounded, startling everyone.

  I peered over her shoulder at the small blue hair that lay curled in the center.

  "Aeryn!" Callisa exclaimed, throwing her arms around me and laughing. "You're a miracle!" I grinned, hugging her back.

  Corsin winked at me from his spot near a celebrating Eleste.

  Azael came to me, kissing the top of my head and tucking me into his side. I stretched an arm across his back, welcoming his embrace.

  "I'm so very proud of you, love," he whispered to me.

  "All I did was transport them to Lavinia," I stated.

  "No, you are a figurehead of the revolution. Be proud of that; I am."

  "Thank you," I whispered back.

  "Just give me several moments to incorporate these," Lavinia murmured.

  Alaric huffed, turning to look at an equally grim Elias. They made eye contact for several moments before Elias grunted and turned away.

  "Done!" Lavinia declared with a flourish.

  "How do we know this won't hurt her?" Elias accused with his eyes narrowed.

  "We were close once," she begged.
"Please trust me... One drop should get her up, the deirach elixir can make an immortal, break an immortal, but with a less concentrated dose, it could wake an immortal."

  "Hold on," I interrupted. "Could?"

  "Well," she looked down at her feet. "It's never actually been done before. But I've heard rumors; I think it will work."

  Elias growled in frustration, while everyone nodded tiredly, knowing there had to be a catch at some point.

  Lavinia looked at me. "Aeryn... before we do this, is there any way that you would want to take a drop?"

  I was bewildered. I hadn't given much thought to my mortality, my lifespan. Would I grow old as Azael stood forever young by my aging body? Would my friends bury me? I began to consider it when Azael cut in.

  "Aeryn, love," he said softly. "We all became immortals once our powers surfaced."

  My eyes widened. "Are you saying..." he nodded. I jumped to my feet. "Holy gods and goddesses, I'm immortal?!"

  "Where did you think your fast healing came from?" Callisa joked. She threw her arms around me in a tight hug; I had missed her hugs.

  "I'm so happy," I whispered in her ear.

  "I know; we’re happy for you too." She said with a wide smile, looking at a satisfied Azael. I looked over to him as well, walking to him and setting my hands on his chest before kissing him soundly. We ignored the cheers and hoots; he dipped me playfully, and I slapped his chest with a laugh against his lips.

  “I’m going to live for a very long time,” I told him quietly.

  “Spend that long time with me, love. Please?” he asked, his eyes hopeful. I smiled wide.

  "We have a job to do," Alaric said grimly, breaking the reverie. Elias scoffed and turned on his heel to pack up his bedroll, and minutes later, we were back to traveling.

  CHAPTER 26

  "How far do you think?" Bastien complained.

  "Dear gods Bastien, I thought you liked to hike," Carwyn responded.