by Marci Bolden
Setting her coffee aside, she asked, “Did she display signs of depression? I don’t mean mourning the loss of her mother. I mean clinical depression.”
“Like?”
She gestured to the journal. “It’s clear she feels guilty over things completely out of her control. She writes at length about not being able to make things easier for you and your mom, but did you ever sense this was out of proportion with the normal stages of grief?”
“She always felt like it was her responsibility to take care of us. Even as a little girl she acted like it was her job to be the parent. I don’t know how many times I told her she wasn’t my mother.”
“Did she struggle with concentration or making decisions?”
He thought for some time. “I guess sometimes. But over small things, like what clothes to wear or what to eat. She jumped into making big decisions.”
“How was her sleeping?”
“She’s never slept well. That used to worry Mom, but I just thought…” Running his hand over his hair, he looked around the kitchen. “I would have noticed, wouldn’t I? If something were wrong?”
“Not necessarily, no. We tend to dismiss things that we don’t really want to see. And I don’t just mean you or your mom. Mandy may not have even realized the struggle she seemed to be having.”
“Drinking, drugs, partying. This doesn’t seem like my sister.”
“I’m sorry.”
Meeting her gaze, he scoffed. “You know, the cops, they kept telling me she probably just went off to see the world and didn’t want to disappoint me. I told them she would never do that. I told them how I know my sister, and they just…they pacified me until I wanted to punch them all. But they were right, weren’t they? I don’t know her. I don’t know what she would or wouldn’t do. What kind of brother am I, Alexa?”
At that, she had no choice but to cross that boundary of professionalism. This man was suffering, and Alexa’s need to make him better was undeniable. Leaning closer, she ran her hand over his back. “You are a wonderful brother, Dean.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know that because I can see in your eyes how scared you are. If you weren’t an amazing brother, you would find a way to dismiss her disappearance like everyone else has. You feel it, don’t you? Deep in your gut, you know she needs you.”
He covered his face, digging his fingertips into his forehead, and she suspected he was trying to stop his emotions and fears from bubbling over.
“We’re going to find her,” Alexa whispered.
That did him in. A quiet sound choked up out of his throat, and he looked at her with confusion in his eyes. “How could I not know she was using drugs?”
“Dean, people hide things all the time.”
“She was…” He tripped on the words. “She was whoring herself out for drugs.”
“You don’t know that for certain.”
“Her fucking journal—”
“Implies some things but doesn’t say it explicitly. We could be reading this wrong. Let’s concentrate on finding Mandy and getting her whatever help she needs. Whatever mess she is in or how she got there is done. We need to spend our energy on bringing her home.”
He blew out a long, slow breath before nodding. “You’re right. What’s next? What do we do next?”
“Next you give me her roommate’s name and any contact information you might have, and I go interview her.”
“I should—”
“Not interfere, because even if they weren’t close, you’re Mandy’s big brother and telling you anything may seem like ratting her out.”
“Right. Yeah.” Raking his fingers through his hair, he closed his eyes. “Uh, Tina something. Give me a second to remember.”
Alexa’s chest filled with sorrow for him as he pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes closed.
“Perry. Tina Perry. She’s a sophomore as well. I don’t remember her major.”
“That’s okay. I’ll find her. Mind if I take these things?”
“No. But”—he sat up and searched her eyes—“you’ll be discreet, right? I don’t want Mandy to be embarrassed when she comes back. Nobody else—”
She gently squeezed his arm. “I will never do anything to demean her. I promise.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m going to go interview her roommate. I want you to get some rest. You look exhausted.”
“I can’t sleep.” He chuckled. “Maybe I should smoke her stash, huh?”
Alexa didn’t mean to run her hand over his hair, but the strands were standing in a thousand different directions and she could no longer hold back the need to tame them. His eyes darted to hers, but something in his expression seemed more appreciative of her effort than surprised. “Or maybe have a beer and turn on a movie.”
“Maybe. You’ll call me.”
She nodded. “I’ll keep in touch, yes.”
He gripped her hand as she dropped it from his head. “She’s a good kid. She’s just had a rough time since Mom died.”
“I know. I’ll call you.” Taking the photos and the journal, Alexa left Dean to swallow all he’d learned about Mandy. Alexa wasn’t surprised, not really. No one was as picture-perfect as Mandy so desperately portrayed herself to be. She didn’t blame Dean for not seeing through the façade. Family rarely did.
In the car, she used her hands-free speaker to dial the HEARTS office.
“Hey, gorgeous,” Samantha, the receptionist, answered. “How’s it going?”
Backing out of the short driveway, Alexa filled her in as much as was necessary to keep her team in the loop. Sam might have been the one asking, but she would relay the information to Holly.
“I need to question her roommate. I’m headed to the college campus now. It’ll take me about an hour and a half. Think you can have her photo, schedule, and dorm number for me by then?”
“And everything else you could ever need to know,” Sam stated. She was constantly improving her sleuthing skills and had proven herself a real asset to the team.
Alexa was increasingly grateful for that. Sam was sweet, but she didn’t always take her job as seriously as she should. She had a lot of room to grow, but with a little guidance from Alexa and a lot of patience from Holly, she was filling the role they had hired her to fill.
Turning up the radio, Alexa did her best to tune out everything. She wasn’t going to start jumping to assumptions about Mandy’s situation yet. Nor was she going to try to see parallels to Lanie’s. Her sister had also been nineteen when she’d disappeared. She wasn’t in college, though. Alexa’s mami couldn’t afford that. Lanie had disappeared while walking home from her job at a local diner. She’d waved at the cook as she left. That was the last time anyone had seen her.
Alexa had woken up the next morning to a flurry of activity. Her mother sat on the sofa crying as a police officer tried to reassure her. Her grandmother was cooking and making coffee. The neighbors were translating as much as they could. Mami and Abuela didn’t speak English well, and trying to explain to the police officer that Lanie wouldn’t have just disappeared was nearly impossible when Mami was crying hysterically.
Alexa had tossed on jeans and a T-shirt and rushed out to the living room. Her mother had hugged her so tight she couldn’t breathe and in a mix of Spanish and English explained that Lanie hadn’t come home.
Just as in Dean’s experience, the police officer had said that maybe she’d run off with her boyfriend or caught a bus to start a new life somewhere else. Nobody who knew Lanie believed that. But the police didn’t believe otherwise. They had searched for her, or at least listed her as missing. She’d never been found.
Though Lanie and Alexa had been born in America, Alexa got the distinct impression the police officer wasn’t overly invested in finding the missing daughter of an immigrant. She’d heard him mutter under his breath that if Mami could speak English maybe he’d have better luck.
“I speak English,” Alexa
had snapped at him. “I’m American. So is my sister.”
He’d dismissed her with a disinterested look before making more notes in his little book and leaving her mother and grandmother scared, crying, and feeling hopeless.
That was the moment that had changed Alexa. The very moment that she still recalled so clearly, the moment she’d realized it was up to her to find Lanie. She’d worked her ass off to learn the ins and outs of finding missing persons. She never had found her sister, but she hadn’t given up. And she wouldn’t give up on finding Mandy Campbell, either.
By the time she arrived at the campus, Sam had delivered on her promise. Checking the e-mail on her phone, Alexa found everything she needed to help her locate Tina Perry, including a map of the campus. She was standing outside a lecture hall when a mob of twenty-somethings started scurrying like roaches in a house fire. Alexa looked at the photo of Tina one more time before approaching a young woman.
“Tina Perry?”
The woman stopped and turned. “Yeah?”
“My name is Alexa Rodriguez. I’m helping Dean Campbell try to locate Mandy. Mind if I ask you a few questions?”
Tina frowned. “I guess, but my next class is right now. You have until we get upstairs.”
Moving to walk beside her, Alexa started peppering her with questions. “What do you think was going on with Mandy?”
“We didn’t talk much. She was popping pills and drinking. I didn’t want to get caught up in that shit. I’d put in a request for a new roommate, but since it was summer semester, the options were limited. Before the school had time to resolve the issue, she dropped out.”
“Do you know why?”
Starting up the stairs, Tina glanced at Alexa. “If I had to guess, I’d say either her boyfriend made her or she’s too high to give a shit anymore.”
“So her drug use was bad?”
“She certainly had issues. I think that jerk she was dating was the cause of most of them. When she wasn’t stoned, she seemed like a sweet girl. One night I woke up to the sound of her crying. Since I’m not a complete asshole, I asked her what was going on. She told me about her mom dying and how disappointed her brother would be if he knew how much she was struggling. I told her if she wanted counseling, I’d help her. The campus has resources. She was all on board, but the next day, she came back to our room and said to forget it. Darrin, this shit stain she’s been dating, wouldn’t hear of it. She dropped out the next week. I don’t know for certain, but I’d say he was controlling and probably a little abusive.”
Darrin. Maybe he was the D in the journal. “Do you know how to reach her or Darrin?”
“No.”
“Do you know his last name? Is he a student here?”
“No and no. I never saw him, but from what she said, it sounds like he’s older. A lot older.”
“Did you ever meet Darrin or see a picture?”
Stopping in front of a classroom, Tina shifted the bag strap on her shoulder. “No. Because I made it a point not to. I don’t know what Mandy was into, but I’m pretty sure she was in over her head. Maybe I am an asshole for not trying to help her sooner, but…I got my own problems, you know?”
Alexa nodded. “I know. Whatever trouble she’s in wasn’t your responsibility. I get that.”
“I’m sorry her family is going through this, but I’m not surprised. If they do find her, she needs rehab. Big time.”
“Noted. Would it be okay if I contact you if I have further questions?” Alexa lifted her hand as if swearing an oath when Tina visibly shrank back. “I’m not going to get you mixed up in anything. I promise. Your name will never come up. I’m just trying to find her to get her the help she needs.”
Tina rattled off her phone number and accepted Alexa’s business card. Leaving her to continue her education, Alexa pulled her phone from her pocket. She wanted to check in with her abuela to find out what was for dinner and if there was enough to spare.
She had some bad news to break to Dean, and she’d learned that task came easier to her when she was simultaneously offering up some of her grandmother’s home cooking.
Dean inhaled deeply as Alexa lifted the top off a dish. The scents that filled him instantly made him hungry. Garlic, onion, chilies…oh, man. Heaven. “What is that?”
“Red pork posole.”
He tore his gaze from the food to her, letting her know by the confusion on his face that he didn’t know what that was.
She stopped unwrapping tortillas and grinned. “Pork stew with just enough spice to warm your soul. My grandmother is the world’s best chef. That’s not me gloating. It’s a fact.”
“I believe you.”
“Bowls? Just point me in the right direction,” she said when he started to stand.
He gestured toward a cabinet and watched as she moved around the kitchen. Something about this seemed right. She was chattering about her grandmother’s cooking, about her selling tamales online and expanding into other dishes, but he was too distracted by her movements to really hear her.
When he’d left Chicago to come back and care for his mom and sister several years back, he’d left a budding relationship as well. They’d promised to try the long-distance thing, but between running his mom to chemotherapy and helping raise Mandy, as well as keep his client base growing so he had income, the relationship had taken a back seat and gradually fallen apart. After his mom died and Mandy went off to school, his habit of long days in front of a monitor hadn’t changed.
He hadn’t been pampered in some time. Even if it was strictly platonic, he was going to take a few moments to enjoy this.
Alexa filled two bowls, popped the top off a container with some onions inside, and asked if he wanted any. He nodded, and she went about her business of serving him. Then she turned on the burner, tossed a flour tortilla on the flame, and flipped it before it charred, still talking about her grandmother’s cooking. He couldn’t help but smile at the way she accented words here and there with what he assumed was her native Spanish.
She carried a plate of several reheated tortillas to the counter. “Do you want to eat here or at the table?”
“Here is fine,” he said and then regretted it. He’d thought he’d actually like to sit at the table with her. He hadn’t sat at the table for a meal since the last time Mandy was home. He didn’t announce his change of mind, however. He suspected he’d have another chance to sit at his table over a meal like this. Alexa was clearly used to bringing food to her clients.
For some reason that realization tweaked him a little. As special as this was for him, she did this all the time. That didn’t feel right to him. He wanted this to be special to her, too, but he couldn’t explain why.
He’d met the woman all of five hours ago. He hardly had any claim on her comforting ways. But for some reason, he needed to clarify. “Do you always bring food to clients?”
“Not always.”
“Why tonight?”
She settled on the stool beside him. “Because you needed me to.”
“I did?”
She nodded with enough confidence that he believed her, too. “You seem to be carrying this burden on your own.”
“My dad agrees with the police. He thinks she got fed up with the pressure and ran off and that she’ll come home soon.”
“Why would he think that?”
“I don’t know.” He looked at her, and there was a hint of suspicion in her eyes. “You think he wasn’t telling me something?”
“Maybe. Mind if I talk to him?”
“No. I’ll get you his number.”
“Good.” She dug into her dinner.
He watched her take a delicate sip of the broth, apparently testing the temperature before taking a larger bite. “You plan on telling me what you found out from Mandy’s roommate?”
She hesitated. That wasn’t a good sign. Dean didn’t have to be some kind of investigator to know that. He was a graphic designer. He’d learned to read his clients’ body lang
uage fairly well. Too many times there was something about his work they didn’t like and hesitated in telling him, as if they might hurt his feelings. Alexa had that same pause as she tore at her tortilla.
“Nothing good, I guess,” he said quietly.
Alexa offered him a sad smile. “Her roommate says she was pretty heavy into drinking and drugs. She was dating a man named Darrin, maybe the D in her journal. Tina said he was bad news, so that makes sense. She said he was older, not a student, and…”
“And?”
She gave him that damn sorrowful look again. “And he seemed to be very controlling over Mandy.”
Anger shot through Dean. “Abusive?”
“Controlling was the word she used. She did say that she had convinced Mandy to get counseling, but the next day Mandy dismissed the idea. Tina seemed to think that was Darrin’s influence.”
Shoving aside his untouched dinner, Dean exhaled loudly. “I’ll kill him.”
“We don’t know his role in this. He could be taking care of her.”
“Her journal said D was giving her drugs in exchange for—”
“Things that we can only guess at without Mandy explaining them. Don’t look for trouble where there may not be any.”
He stared at her. She couldn’t possibly be that naive. In her line of work, she had to have seen a hundred cases like this. Men who took advantage of troubled girls. Why was she defending this sleazeball?
“Dean.”
He didn’t know how she did it, but the sound of his name on her lips was so soothing. Instantly, his muscles relaxed as the word rolled through him and he forgave the irritation her denial had caused.
“I know you’re scared for her. I know you’re upset about the things you’re learning. But let’s get all the facts before jumping to conclusions. Let’s look at this from every angle so we don’t miss something. We need to figure out who this Darrin person is and what role he has played, if any, before we crucify him.”
