Half of Me

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Half of Me Page 20

by J. M. Paul


  “Ready?” He leans against the wall.

  I point to my phone, and Jacob nods.

  “So, will you do it?” I ask Maya. Flipping my suitcase closed, I zip it and start to pull it off the bed.

  Jacob reaches around me and takes it from me.

  “I’ll meet you in the car.” Jacob kisses the crown of my head and walks out.

  Maya exhales dramatically and lets several beats tick by. “You know I will.”

  “Thank you, My. I owe you.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  “I love you so hard.” I step into the garage.

  “Love you, too. Have fun playing with Jake and his big snake,” she sings before she hangs up on me.

  I laugh and shake my head as I climb into Jacob’s BMW.

  “All set?” he asks after I secure my seat belt.

  “Definitely.”

  When Jacob said he had a cottage up north, I pictured something small, rustic, and cozy.

  I should’ve known better.

  His cottage is as extravagant as his house downstate, and it’s on the water—Little Traverse Bay, he told me. This is my first time visiting Petoskey, so I know little about the area, but I can imagine this place costs a fortune.

  “Enjoying the view?” Jacob wraps his arms around me from behind, pulling me into him.

  “It’s breathtaking.” I lean my head back against his shoulder when he bends down to kiss my neck. “I’ve lived in Michigan my entire life, and I’ve never seen one of the Great Lakes when it’s frozen.”

  We’re standing in front of a big picture window that faces the bay, the sun shining and reflecting off the snow and ice. It feels like we’re in a snow globe of beauty.

  “I’m happy to pop your cherry,” he breathes against my skin.

  “Ha-ha. Ohh.” My knees go weak when he nips and then licks the dip between my neck and shoulder.

  “Do you like the cottage?” He tightens his hold on me.

  “Yes, it’s beautiful. Juliana had wonderful taste.”

  The place is massive and screams money but is also inviting and comforting. The downstairs has a large, open floor plan with a bright and airy kitchen, hardwood floor throughout, plush area rugs, and oversize furniture to accentuate the immense stone fireplace. I haven’t seen the upstairs, but gauging from the downstairs, I can deduce it’s as stunning.

  He turns me, so we’re face-to-face, and he searches my eyes. “What do you mean?”

  My gaze flits around the space. “I assume Juliana decorated or worked with the designers?”

  Jacob shakes his head. “No. Juliana hated it here and rarely came with me.” He stares over my head, out toward the bay beyond the window. “The two of us had very little in common when it came down to important things.”

  Before I get to ask what those things are, he steps back, takes my hand, and walks me through the house.

  “I bought this place because my parents frequently brought me to Petoskey as a child. This town holds wonderful memories for me,” he says.

  Jacob leads me up the grand white staircase, down a long hall, and into what must be the master suite. The room is enormous and has the biggest four-poster bed I’ve seen. Tall arched windows face the bay and Lake Michigan, and there’s a fireplace and an en suite.

  Stopping in the middle of the room, he turns to me and starts to lift my sweater. “I chose key items for the house and worked with a designer.”

  “Then, you have great taste.” A smile tilts my lips when he lifts the material over my head.

  Jacob tosses the garment to the ground, unbuttons my jeans, and slides them down. I step out of them.

  “I have excellent taste. I picked you.” He stands, taking in my partially exposed bared skin.

  I roll my eyes and mock sticking my finger down my throat. “Barf.”

  As fast as a rattlesnake, he reaches for me but misses as I turn and run. Just as I make it to his bedroom door, his hand catches my arm and turns me to face him. He wraps his arms around my waist, and with a quick jolt, he lifts me up and into his body.

  “You trying to get away from me?” His voice is low, husky.

  “Never.” I secure my arms around his neck and lock my legs around his waist.

  He shifts slightly, backing me up against the wall. The hardness of him presses into the softness of me, his erection straining against the material of his pants. The added friction sends chills through my body. Clutching my ponytail, he tightly closes his fist around it and tugs my head back. Jacob’s mouth crashes down on mine, and in that moment, I’m completely lost to him.

  Our mouths open, lips and tongues colliding as the kiss turns feral. The taste of him—minty and masculine—sets my body on fire, and only he can extinguish the flames. My need for him licks, singes, and spreads over my skin until it takes over, and I’m a pile of ash at his feet.

  Reaching behind his neck, he removes one of my hands and slides it down between us so I can feel the evidence of his arousal. At my touch, he growls and deepens our kiss, which I didn’t think was possible.

  He slightly pulls back, biting my lip. “Do you feel what you do to me? I’ve barely touched you, and I’m going to lose my mind if I’m not inside you soon.”

  I love how desperate and needy he sounds, like we didn’t have sex this morning.

  Pushing away from the wall, Jacob walks over to the large four-poster bed with me still draped around him. After one last peck on my mouth, he lifts me into the air and throws me onto the middle of the bed. I bounce twice with my hair and limbs flailing and laughter bubbling in my chest. Like a lithe panther, Jacob inches up my body, his blue eyes ravenous. He settles between my legs but keeps the majority of his weight balancing on his elbows.

  “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he murmurs.

  “So are you.”

  I cup his cheek, and he turns to kiss the inside of my palm.

  Leaning his head down, he nips at my chin. “I made reservations for dinner later, but I’m starving now.”

  I hold my breath as he kisses his way down my neck and traces his tongue over my exposed cleavage. My nipples harden and push against the lace of my bra, begging for his attention.

  “The only thing that will satisfy this hunger is the taste of you.” His voice is low and settles over me like velvet.

  Using his thumb, Jacob pushes down the cup and sucks in my left nipple—hard. His mouth is warm, wet, and perfect against my starved body. His gaze locks with mine, carefully watching my reactions, as he bites the sensitive bud. It causes a slew of wonderfully erotic sparks to pool between my legs, and my heart starts to beat faster and faster. Turning his attention to the other breast, he feasts before continuing his exploration down my stomach.

  Shivers spill over me, making goose bumps litter my skin.

  With a sly grin on his face, he places a gentle kiss on the outside of my panties. A tingling of excitement races through me as his fingers sensuously trail my panties down my legs. His ravenous gaze rakes over my body before he climbs on top of me.

  Thrusting my hands into his hair, I pull the thick strands and lead his mouth to mine. He growls before he restrains my arms above my head. The fingers of his free hand tenderly trace down my curves to my center, stroking and teasing. Everything inside me builds furiously. I’m not sure if it’s our earlier chase that’s worked me up or the fact that we aren’t at home, and the kids won’t interrupt us, but my body’s trembling and tightening in record time.

  “Jacob,” comes out on a carnal, deep moan. My back arches off the bed as I free-fall off the cliff of ecstasy.

  “God, Joslyn, I’ve never seen anything so sexy,” he murmurs, his voice throaty, like it’s choking with lust.

  Leaning over, he captures my mouth with his. This kiss is different, less frenzied and bursting with emotion. It’s languid, seductive, and romantic. Our tongues twist and sway in a provocative dance I’ve only ever experienced with him, and something deep and powerful starts to tingle under my skin
and throughout my chest, only to bury into my heart. The feeling is so intense, it almost hurts, and tears spring into my eyes.

  Pulling back with one last nibble, he slides from the bed to remove his clothes. I mourn the loss of him, but the Jacob standing before me, wearing nothing but his confidence, is a sight to behold.

  He has it all—money, power, and a physique that makes women go mad. But, above it all, Jacob has the biggest heart I’ve ever known, and I’m not certain how I’m lucky enough to call him mine.

  Taking my hands, he crawls over me, gently kissing my lips, his tongue sliding against mine at a slow and relaxed pace. Lifting his head to look into my eyes, his gaze intense, commanding, he slowly enters me. Our eyes hold as he starts to move. Everything in the background fades, except for the sound of our rhythmic breathing, the pounding of our hearts, until our passion grabs ahold of us and pulls us completely under.

  CHAPTER 24

  * * *

  LIGHTENING THE SHADOWS

  I sit back in my chair, gazing out the picturesque window at the blinking Petoskey Pierhead Lighthouse and the frozen Little Traverse Bay in the background. Jacob treated me to the Palette Bistro where I experienced the best meal and drinks of my life.

  “So?” Jacob leans forward, tenting his fingers on the table.

  “It was delicious. This is easily my new favorite restaurant.” A smile tilts my lips.

  He’s been unusually quiet during dinner, making me wonder if this trip isn’t sufficiently taking his mind off of Jenna’s unresolved paternity test result.

  “I’m glad.” Reaching across the table, he covers my hand with his and squeezes. “You ready to head back to the cottage?”

  “Yeah.”

  When we exit the restaurant, it’s snowing heavily. It’s beautiful and magical with the white twinkle lights in the trees lining the street and on the buildings. Before Jacob starts to wander toward his SUV, I tug on his arm and lead him over to an empty patio where they offer outdoor seating in the summer.

  I lie down in the snow and stare up at a perplexed Jacob.

  “What are you doing?” He surveys the street and sidewalks and then focuses back on me.

  “Making a snow angel.” Outstretching my arm, I wiggle my fingers at him. “Come on. Make one with me.”

  “I—” He shifts his weight. “I don’t think that’s necessary.”

  “Come on, live a little. Tonight, you’re not the responsible CEO of some mega-successful construction company. It’s just you and me.” I jiggle my hand at him again. “Have some fun. No one’s judging you. Especially not the girl with her ass already firmly planted in the cold snow.” I beam up at him.

  He appears to be a dream, standing above me, as the snow flits around him.

  Scanning the area again, he huffs and crouches before he lies down in the snow with me.

  I start flapping my arms and legs out and then down. “Come on, Jacob, move. You can’t have a wingless angel.”

  He hesitates but finally starts moving.

  Lying in the snow with flakes dancing in the air, magic surrounding us, a burst of giggles stirs my stomach and flitters into the air like bubbles.

  “You’re crazy.” A deep chuckle breaks from his chest before he stands and offers me his hand. When he draws me to my feet, he wraps me in an embrace. His eyes sparkle down at me. “Thank you.”

  “For what?” I lift up onto my toes and brush a kiss against his chilled cheek.

  “I haven’t felt this young and carefree in a very long time.” There’s tenderness in his features as he rubs his nose with mine. “You’re good for me, Joslyn.”

  His words lighten the shadows across my heart. “You’re good for me, too.”

  As he touches his hands to my neck, his thumbs press up against my chin, lifting my lips to his. Slowly, he bends his head, claiming my mouth. Instead of the instant hunger that usually ignites between us, this kiss is surprisingly gentle, drugging, and thoughtful. There’s a dreamy intimacy to it. Jacob caresses more than kisses me before his tongue traces the fullness of my lips and then enters the cavern.

  We linger, savoring the moment. When we gradually separate, we walk around town, hand in hand, window-shopping and enjoying our private time before everything can quite possibly change in the next few days.

  I couldn’t sleep, so I came downstairs so as not to disturb Jacob. I’m sitting on the couch with a blanket, hot tea, and my mother’s journals that I brought as reading material on my lap while a fire crackles in the fireplace.

  The situation with Jenna won’t allow my mind to shut off. Jacob has been putting on a good front, but I can see in his eyes that he’s worried. He said he didn’t care if she was his biological daughter or not, that he’d love her regardless—and I believe him—but I also understand that it’d be devastating if she ended up being Clay’s.

  Clay not only slept with Jacob’s wife and ruined their marriage, but the bastard also drove Juliana to seek drugs to cover the guilt, and now, Clay might take Jacob’s daughter as well. I’m not certain how a court might rule a custody hearing under these types of circumstances, but I do know that Jacob has money and will use every penny to keep Jenna if it comes down to it.

  Trying to take my mind off the uncertainties and fear of the situation, I open the first journal on the stack. Much like the others I’ve read so far, my mom mostly documented her daily life—the joy, sorrow, hate, or monotony she dealt with. How well she did in school and how much she and my dad wanted to be professors at the same university—that dream came true when they both landed teaching positions at the University of Michigan—and the fact that they didn’t want kids.

  It seems harsh to read, but I already knew they hadn’t wanted children. That was the reason Mom was almost fifty-four years old when she had me.

  I sip my hot tea and start scanning a new journal. It’s more of the same until I read something that completely shocks me. I sit frozen, staring at the words before me. Unable to read further, I’m tormented and lost in the confusing emotions circling my head and inside my chest. The feelings are annihilating, and I don’t know how to handle them.

  “Joslyn?”

  I leap off the couch, the journals scattering and my tea flying into the air and then crashing to the ground.

  “Sorry! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Jacob says from behind me.

  “Shit.” I drop to my knees to pick up the coffee mug and try to hopelessly blot the now-saturated area of the rug with my fingers. I only make it worse.

  “Here.” Jacob throws me a towel from the kitchen.

  I’m wiping the spot when Jacob bends down and hands me another cloth.

  “I’m so sorry, Jacob. I didn’t mean to ruin your rug. I’ll buy you a new one. Just tell me where you bought it, and I’ll—”

  He steadies my frantic hands. “Joslyn, stop. It’s fine.”

  “But it’s not. I just spilled tea on it and…” Ice spreads through my stomach, and I try to swallow the despair sitting in my throat, but instead, it seeps out of my eyes.

  “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?” Jacob’s voice is full of concern as he pulls me onto his lap, brushing at the strands of hair stuck to my tearstained cheeks.

  “I-I w-was r-r-read…” I sniffle and weep heavier.

  “Shh, shh. It’s okay.” He rocks me, lightly running his hand down my back until I’m calm. With his lips against my temple, he murmurs, “Tell me what’s wrong, baby.”

  He’s never called me baby before, and the enduring nickname settles something in me that I didn’t know was churning.

  “My parents had a baby they gave up for adoption.” The words coming out of my mouth feel weird and sound foreign. “I have an older sibling somewhere out in the world.”

  “Wow.” He lets that sink in before he leans back to regard me. “Are you sure?”

  “It’s in my mom’s journals, so I can only be as sure as she’s lead me to be.” I wipe the drying tears on my cheeks.

&nb
sp; “That’s…major.” He hugs me tighter. “Do you have a sister or a brother?”

  “I don’t know,” I answer honestly.

  “You don’t know?” I can hear the confusion in his voice. “Did you not read that far yet?”

  “I read far enough, but my mom didn’t know. She had the baby, and at her request, they took it away without letting her see it or telling her what it was.” I shake my head. “I just…I don’t understand.”

  “What don’t you understand?” he asks.

  “How they could have one child and give it up but keep me.” Moisture stings my eyes again. “It doesn’t make sense. What made them keep me over the other baby?”

  “That’s only an answer they could’ve given you, sweetheart. Who knows why some people do what they do?”

  He kisses the top of my head before he lifts me and moves us to the couch. He rearranges me on his lap and then covers us with a blanket. Even though we’re sitting close to the fireplace, in the still of the night, it’s chilly.

  “I have a sibling.” Disbelief fills my voice.

  “It sounds like you do.” Jacob turns the lamp off and snuggles us back into the cushions of the couch.

  We sit, listening to the fire crackle and the wind blow outside, as the house creaks and settles around us. It’s so quiet at the cottage—no barking dogs, traffic driving by, or kids laughing and screaming.

  Jacob yawns, and I do the same, cuddling closer into his chest.

  My mind wanders back to my mom’s journals, and I wonder what else she hid from me my entire life. Jacob’s right in saying that I’ll never know why they made the choice to keep me—especially when they seemed lukewarm about my presence—over the other baby. My first guess is, they were too young or still trying to put their lives together, but from the time line, she had the first baby only seven years before me. In hindsight, a lot can happen in that amount of time, but my parents had me very late in life, so they were in their mid- to late-forties when they chose adoption.

  “I can feel your mind spinning.” Jacob brushes my hair over my shoulder and kisses my neck. “What are you thinking about?”

 

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