Keziah Coffin

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Keziah Coffin Page 3

by Joseph Crosby Lincoln

containing single women or widows, Lavinia always accompaniedhim, "to help him in his figgerin'," she said.

  Consequently, when he appeared, unchaperoned, on the walk leading to theside door of the Coffin homestead, Keziah and her friend were surprised.

  "He's dressed to kill," whispered Grace, at the window. "Even his tallhat; and in this fog! I do believe he's coming courting, Aunt Keziah."

  "Humph!" was the ungracious answer. "He's come to say good-by, I s'pose,and to find out where I'm goin' and how much pay I'm goin' to get and ifmy rent's settled, and a few other little things that ain't any ofhis business. Laviny put him up to it, you see. She'll be along prettyquick. Well, I'll fix him so he won't talk much. He can help us takedown that stovepipe. I said 'twas a job for a man, and a half one'sbetter than none--Why, how d'ye do, 'Bishy? Come right in. Pretty thickoutside, isn't it?"

  Mr. Pepper entered diffidently.

  "Er--er--how d'ye do, Keziah?" he stammered. "I thought I'd just run ina minute and--"

  "Yes, yes. Glad to see you. Take off your hat. My sakes! it's prettywet. How did Laviny come to let you--I mean how'd you come to wear abeaver such a mornin's this?"

  Kyan removed the silk hat and inspected its limp grandeur ruefully.

  "I--I--" he began. "Well, the fact is, I come out by myself. You see,Laviny's gone up to Sarah B.'s to talk church doin's. I--I--well, I kindof wanted to speak with you about somethin', Keziah, so--Oh! I didn'tsee you, Gracie. Good mornin'."

  He didn't seem overjoyed to see Miss Van Horne, as it was. In fact,he reddened perceptibly and backed toward the door. The girl, her eyestwinkling, took up her jacket and hat.

  "Oh! I'm not going to stop, Mr. Pepper," she said. "I was only helpingAunt Keziah a little, that's all. I must run on now."

  "Run on--nonsense!" declared Keziah decisively. "You're goin' to stayright here and help us get that stovepipe down. And 'Bishy'll help, too.Won't you, 'Bish?"

  The stovepipe was attached to the "air-tight" in the dining room.It--the pipe--rose perpendicularly for a few feet and then extendedhorizontally, over the high-boy, until it entered the wall. Kyan lookedat it and then at his "Sunday clothes."

  "Why, I'd be glad to, of course," he declared with dubious enthusiasm."But I don't know's I'll have time. Perhaps I'd better come later and doit. Laviny, she--"

  "Oh, Laviny can spare you for a few minutes, I guess; 'specially as shedon't know you're out. Better take your coat off, hadn't you? Grace,fetch one of those chairs for Ky--for 'Bishy to stand in."

  Grace obediently brought the chair. It happened to be the one with arickety leg, but its owner was helping the reluctant Abishai remove thelong-tailed blue coat which had been his wedding garment and had adornedhis person on occasions of ceremony ever since. She did not notice thechair.

  "It's real good of you to offer to help," she said. "Grace and I didn'thardly dast to try it alone. That pipe's been up so long that I wouldn'twonder if 'twas chock-full of soot. If you're careful, though, I don'tbelieve you'll get any on you. Never mind the floor; I'm goin' to washthat before I leave."

  Reluctantly, slowly, the unwilling Mr. Pepper suffered himself to be ledto the chair. He mounted it and gingerly took hold of the pipe.

  "Better loosen it at the stove hole first," advised Keziah. "What was ityou wanted to see me about, 'Bish?"

  "Oh, nothin', nothin'," was the hasty response. "Nothin' of anyaccount--that is to say--"

  He turned redder than ever and wrenched at the pipe. It loosened at itslower end and the wires holding it in suspension shook.

  "I guess," observed the lady of the house, "that you'd better move thatchest of drawers out so's you can get behind it. Grace, you help me.There! that's better. Now move your chair."

  Kyan stepped from the chair and moved the latter to a position betweenthe high-boy and the wall. Then he remounted and gripped the pipe in themiddle of its horizontal section.

  "Seems to stick in the chimney there, don't it?" queried Keziah. "Wiggleit back and forth; that ought to loosen it. What was it you wanted tosay, 'Bish?"

  Apparently, Mr. Pepper had nothing to say. The crimson tide had reachedhis ears, which, always noticeable because of their size and spread,were now lit up like a schooner's sails at sunset. His hands trembled onthe pipe.

  "Nothin', nothin', I tell you," he faltered. "I--I just run in to sayhow d'ye do, that's all."

  "Really, I think I'd better be going," said Grace, glancing from Kyan'sembarrassed face to that of the unsuspecting Mrs. Coffin. "I'm afraidI'm in the way."

  "No, no!" shouted the occupant of the chair. "No, no, you ain't!"

  "But I'm afraid I am. And they'll be expecting me at home. Aunt Keziah,I--"

  "Don't be in such a hurry," interrupted Keziah. "Does stick in thechimney, don't it? Tell you what you can do, Grace; you can go in thewoodshed and fetch the hammer that's in the table drawer. Hurry up,that's a good girl."

  Kyan protested that he did not need the hammer, but his protest wasunheeded. With one more glance at the couple, Grace departed from thekitchen, biting her lips. She shut the door carefully behind her. Mr.Pepper labored frantically with the pipe.

  "No use to shake it any more till you get the hammer," advised Keziah."Might's well talk while you're waitin'. What was it you wanted to tellme?"

  Abishai drew one hand across his forehead, leaving a decorative smoochof blacking on his perspiring countenance. He choked, swallowed, andthen, with a look at the closed door, seemed to reach a desperateresolve.

  "Keziah," he whispered hurriedly, "you've known me quite a spell, ain'tyou?"

  "Known you? Known you ever since you were born, pretty nigh. What ofit?"

  "Yes, yes. And I've known you, you know. Fact is, we've known eachother."

  "Hear the man! Land sakes! don't everybody in Trumet know everybodyelse? What ARE you drivin' at?"

  "Keziah, you're a single woman."

  His companion let go of the chair, which she had been holding in place,and stepped back.

  "I'm a single woman?" she repeated sharply. "What do you mean by that?Did--did anybody say I wasn't?"

  "No, no! 'Course not. But you're a widow, so you BE single, you know,and--"

  "Well? Did you think I was twins? Get down off there this minute. You'vegone crazy. I thought so when I saw that beaver. Either that or you'vebeen drinkin'. Grace! What DOES make her so long gettin' that hammer?"

  Finding the hammer did seem to take a long time. There was no sound fromthe kitchen. Kyan, steadying himself with one hand on the pipe, wavedthe other wildly.

  "S-s-sh! s-sh-h!" he hissed. "Hush! be still! Don't get her in here.Keziah, you're single and so am I. You ain't got nobody to take care ofyou and I ain't, neither--that is, I don't want to be took care of--Imean, I've been took care of too much."

  Mrs. Coffin took another step in the direction of the kitchen.

  "He IS loony!" she exclaimed under her breath. "I--"

  "No, no! I ain't loony. I want to make a proposal to you. I want to seeif you won't marry me. I'm sick of Laviny. Let's you and me settle downtogether. I could have some peace then. And I think a whole lot of you,too," he added, apparently as an afterthought.

  Keziah's face was red now, and growing redder every instant.

  "Kyan Pepper!" she cried in amazed incredulity. "Kyan Pepper, do you--"

  "Hurry up!" pleaded Abishai, in agitated impatience. "Say yes quick.She'll be back in a minute."

  "Say YES! Why, you--"

  "Don't stop to argue, Keziah. I've got 'most fifteen hundred dollars inthe bank. Laviny keeps the pass book in her bureau, but you could get itfrom her. I own my house. I'm a man of good character. You're poor,but I don't let that stand in the way. Anyhow, you're a first-ratehousekeeper. And I really do think an awful lot of you."

  Mrs. Coffin stepped no farther in the direction of the kitchen. Instead,she strode toward the rickety chair and its occupant. Kyan grasped thepipe with both hands.

  "You poor--miserable--impudent--" began the lady.
/>   "Why, Keziah, don't you WANT to?" He spoke as if the possibility ofa

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