by Ames, Ilsa
“Damn.”
He growled the word, his jaw clenching as his eyes dragged over me from the top of my head, down to the black gladiator-style sandals on my feet.
“Fuck, you look amazing, you know,” he said quietly, his eyes drinking me in.
I wanted to turn in circles and primp, except I was not that kind of girl.
“Thanks. I thought I should up my game a little. We wouldn’t people to think you’re slumming it, would we?” It was a joke at my own expense, but he did deserve a wife that looked like she made even a little effort. Not my usual look at all.
I was still smiling at my own joke when I looked up to see him looking right at me, his face serious.
“You always looked great, June. C’mon, you know that.”
“I…” I frowned, looking down.
“But damn, in that dress?” He whistled slowly. “You pull that off like it was made for you, darlin’.”
He meant that, I could see it on his face.
“Well, so, do you. I mean look at you,” I gushed. Silly, but true. He looked good enough to eat.
We went down to the dining room, the elevator ride much calmer than our previous trip, at least for me. I had a plan I could live with, because even if he rejected me, the plan wasn’t to stay together anyway. We’d wait until he had all of his inheritance, then file for a quiet divorce, made simpler by the prenuptial agreement, and go our separate ways. No harm, no foul.
Or so I told myself. If I’m honest with myself, I just wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I wanted to know what my body was clamoring for so loudly. I knew sex—I mean, I’d seen it in movies, and read it books. I’d watched porn before. But I didn’t know what it felt like to have a man’s hands touch me there, or what his lips or tongue would feel like teasing between my thighs.
I felt heat flush through me and sat down in the chair Tiago pulled out for me with a wobble to my knees. I had to make it through this dinner at least. This was our first night as “husband and wife.” If I could make it through this without being a total weirdo, I could make this the new norm.
Tiago ordered wine for us, and we stared at the menu in silence.
“Know what you want?”
I’d been lost in another fantasy, one that involved the gourmet chocolate syrup listed on the menu when he asked that.
“Hmm?” I looked up quickly, blinking.
He must think I’m always distracted, I thought as I looked up at him. He was simply smiling, not perturbed. His eyes drew me in, and I was held in the web of his gaze. I felt my lips part, but words didn’t come out.
Snap out of it, I told myself and sat back in my chair. I tipped my glass of wine at him and took a sip. I hoped the slight quaver in my hand didn’t give my nervousness away.
“You choose for me, Tiago.” I knew it was a dare that could backfire, but I was trying to be bold, and fun. I was trying to be the brave version of me I knew was somewhere inside. I hated the taste of fish, but I thought it might be fun to see what he thought I’d like.
“Alright.” He went back to the menu to study it again. He would glance at me, then back down to the menu and that made me smile.
“What do you think?”
“I’m thinking something delicious. Something local. Something…Hawaii-ish.” He arched a brow. “How about…this?”
He pointed to a grilled Mahi and pineapple dish and I grinned at him in surprise.
“That sounds perfect, actually.”
“I’m not a bartender for nothing.” He gave me that cocky grin of his and I felt it all the way down to my toes.
“You’re far more than a bartender.” I hadn’t meant to say it, but it was out, so I let it go.
“Sometimes.”
The waiter came to take the order and we waited for our food, both lost in our own thoughts.
I was nervous but determined to see out this new path I’d decided to take. It was all about Tiago and the future we could build. At least for a couple of years. I didn’t want to think about the baby part, or the divorce part, so I didn’t let myself. I wanted to make a go of this, succeed or fail.
I’d satisfy my curiosity at the very least. It might be crazy, and I know I’d thrown caution to the wind but the moment he’d seen me in the hotel room, and how he’d looked at me had changed everything for me. Perhaps in the back of my mind, I’d hoped the changes in my outward appearance would attract him before we’d even got to the wedding part, but after I saw the way he looked at me in that room, the idea had fully formed:
I was grown woman, and I wanted to sleep with him. Period.
If he was receptive, why shouldn’t I? It was my honeymoon, after all. I should have what I wanted, and what I wanted most was to have Tiago.
I put my glass down to refill it. I might need another glass or three of this stuff to build up the right amount of courage. Or maybe not, I thought as I looked up at him with a look that I hoped made my green eyes alluring. I saw his lips part, but he didn’t say anything.
“More wine, Tiago?” I asked and leaned over to pour more into his glass. His eyes flicked down to the neckline of my dress. Broad lace at the edge gaped open to reveal my cleavage and the black lace of the flimsy bra I wore.
The rapid increase of his pulse showed in his neck and I hid a smile. Yeah, he’d noticed. He took the wine but didn’t say anything because his phone buzzed. I picked up my own, not surprised to see there were no notifications. I haven’t spoken to my parents since I left home. Dad died before I finished school. Mom went back to prison and I’d cut all ties to her after that. My only friends were people I knew from work, and I didn’t socialize with them outside of the office. I put the phone down and pretended to look around the dining area, but I was really side-eyeing Tiago.
I knew his eyes were on me and it made me self-conscious, but also proud. He was aware of me, and that boosted my self-confidence. I took another sip of my wine, it was meant to draw his eyes to my lips, and a quick glance told me he was focused on me, his own drink in his hand but neglected. I tilted my head back, to draw his eyes to my neck, and saw his eyes go down, and then further down.
I blushed, a forbidden heat slowly burning inside of me.
Our dinner came, and we ate quietly. The food was perfect, but I wasn’t focused on that. All of my senses were on him as I waited for some sign that it wasn’t all wishful thinking.
Old, protective instincts told me to run, that this was too risky, and I should go back to the room. I wasn’t a seductress, I wouldn’t be able to hold his experienced attention. He would figure out I wasn’t experienced enough for him, or not really attractive and I’d fail. Then I’d end up with a broken heart. But Tiago’s eyes burned into mine, keeping me there.
And those eyes had heat. A lot of it. The kind of heat that could burn right through a woman’s will and leave her breathless. Those gold eyes held me in his spell.
This has to be fate. For once, the providence that had abandoned me in my childhood seemed to have smiled on me. When he held his hand out to me, the last of my internal protests stopped.
I took his hand and was a little surprised when he stood and led me onto the dancefloor to the side of the dining area. He guided me smoothly through the steps and pretended not to notice when my feet stumbled. I’d never learned to dance either, but he seemed to pick that up and kept it simple.
I kept my eyes on my feet, which meant I couldn’t be close to him.
“Come here, angel, let go. Feel the music and let me lead you.” I looked up then, and he pulled me tight to his body. I lost the ability to breathe again. Our lips were close, so close. All he had to do was turn his head a little, lean down just a smidge. My lungs decided to work again on their own and I followed along in his arms.
He moved me along the floor expertly and I was no Ginger Rogers, but I stopped stomping on his toes. We danced through that song, and then another, until I glanced up and saw those golden eyes on my face. What I saw there made me stumble
, and he pulled me closer, more tightly to him. I saw my own desire reflected back at me in his eyes, I saw my own hunger burning there.
He winked at me and the moment was gone, but I knew it lurked under the surface. That hunger waited there, for only a look or a whisper to fan it to life again. We danced until the song came to an end. I thought that was the end of it and stepped away, but he pulled me back, into the shade of a tree just outside of the doors.
I felt a shiver race down my spine as he tilted my face up with a finger under my chin.
“We—we should pay our check,” I mumbled lamely, my self-doubt creeping up to choke me. “I mean, we can’t just—”
“It’ll be taken care,” he murmured back. “Charged to the room.”
“Right, well…” I chewed at my lip, still nervous.
Still longing for him but not knowing how to proceed.
“Maybe we should see what’s on the dessert menu—”
“You ever been kissed until your knees go weak, June?”
I shook my head, my heart racing.
“No.” A simple answer but how do you tell a man he’s the only one you’ve ever kissed, and that one kiss left you stunned?
Our wedding kiss had been sweet and innocent, but I’d wanted more of his kisses. With that one press of firm lips against mine I’d wanted so much more. I wanted to know what it felt like to feel his tongue against mine. I wanted to know it all, really.
“That’s a shame. Such a shame.” His eyes questioned mine, and I felt something deep in my chest go tight. What was his question? I didn’t know this language, but my eyes must have given the right response because he moved closer.
I could smell his cologne, a spicy scent alluring, that tempted me somehow, it caused a pang deep in my stomach that felt similar to the clench in my chest. Was it some kind of longing?
I could hear the ocean behind us and felt a warm breeze.
And I wanted to kiss him.
I wanted to do this, I wanted to know what it was like to be his, if for only a moment, I just didn’t know where to start. How do you seduce a man?
I let him take the lead, trusted him to know what to do, as his lips fell to mine.
The feel of his lips, hot and soft and hungry, was a shock, even though he’d kissed me only hours before. The feel of him against me was still new, so I studied the moment, distracted by this new sensation as he softly kissed me. He wasn’t overbearing, he gave me room to move away if I wanted to escape. But I didn’t want to escape, I wanted more.
Much more.
I held my breath and parted my lips slightly. When his did the same I opened more, and some bold streak took hold of me. I let my tongue slip out just far enough to wet his bottom lip.
I heard a low groan, a sound from deep down in his chest. It seemed he liked that. I waited, my tongue back in my own mouth. Where was he going to take me next?
He pulled away, leaned against the wall, and pulled me between his thighs. My body fit perfectly against his. He looked at me, as though he needed to make a decision. Would I be worth the effort, my brain interpreted that look to say. What would he decide?
I didn’t say a thing, I just waited.
I watched him, this virtual stranger that was now my husband. I held my breath, I wanted him to come to the right decision.
His eyes burned right into mine as he leaned close and slowly opened his lips.
“Are you a virgin, June?”
Reality hit me like a cold slap, and I blinked, my face turning red as his question threw me off balance.
“What? Why does it matter?” I felt heat in my cheeks, fuck, why did he have to ask that? Should I lie? Would he be able to tell?
“I’m asking,” he growled, moving closer into me, his hand on my hip. “Because if you are, and we take this where I think we’re about to, then I need to know. I need to know because if it is, I’m going to make your first time perfect.”
I couldn’t think of an answer, so I looked out at the moon that made the dark ocean gleam. I didn’t want to admit it, but he’d been so sweet about it. This was dangerous, a very dangerous game. I might have just set myself up for a whole world of pain, emotional pain. I wanted this, and like those waves out there, nothing could stop that want.
“I’ve never, uh…” I stopped, cleared my throat, and looked up at him. “I’ve never done this before, no.”
He looked stunned, and I waited for the laugh or the awkward “oh c’mon, you’re kidding, right?”
But it never came, and he didn’t laugh.
Instead, his lips crashed into mine, and suddenly, I couldn’t even think anymore as my knees trembled. I clung to him for dear life as his fist buried in my hair to hold my head just right for his mouth as his lips captured mine. I heard a rough groan, felt it rumble up his chest, and my body tightened all over in response.
His tongue prodded at my lips and I opened to his demand. Silky, wet heat coiled down to a spot low in my abdomen as his tongue snaked over mine. Our tongues twined together, and the heat burned hotter within me. I wanted more. I breathed harshly through my nose as my hands came up to clutch his hair. I didn’t want him to move, to pull away.
But then, he did.
“Follow me,” he growled, taking my hand and pulling me into the darkness of the tropical night.
6
June
He took my hand in his and I walked after him, why had he stopped? Where were we going? I saw my answer. The day-beds for lounging tourists spread down along the beach. We walked in the soft sand, cool now in the dark, and he pushed one of the privacy curtains aside. They were romantic, private, and perfect for what he had in mind. Soft white sheets, a canopy and gauze curtains that would hide us from the moonlight.
My pulse raced as we kicked our shoes off, and I gasped quietly when he pulled me off balance to tumble me into the dark with him. Then his hands and lips were there, and I forgot to care about things like what was right and what was wrong. Tiago could never be a mistake.
He pulled me into him on the soft double-sized bed. Heat blazed through my core, igniting my skin as the world spun around me. I clung to him, whimpering quietly as his lips trailed over my neck. When he pressed a knee between my thighs to climb between them, I knew there was no going back.
I didn’t want to go back.
I knew I could, at any time. I knew one word and he’d pull away and let me go and do what I wanted. But, “no” wasn’t a word I wanted to use that night.
That night, all I wanted to say was yes.
I wanted to also say something seductive, something that would be an encouragement, or something that he’d think was sexy. But once he kissed me, I didn’t want to break my lips from his. Our lips sealed together, and our tongues tangled until I wanted to sigh with happiness. I had my arms around his neck, my fingers entwined together as he knelt over me, our bodies pressed together so intimately.
I was really going to do this. Using my arms around his neck I pulled him closer, pulling the heat of his body, the realness of him, closer.
I felt him, his body intimately pressed into mine as he rocked into me. His lips pulled away from mine to slide down my jaw, and down my neck. I felt dizzy for a moment as I fought for breath. The way that big, hard bulge in his pants pressed into my core felt so good. So very good. He brought his head back up to mine as his right hand began to explore my body.
My dress had ridden up over my hips and I gasped as his hand moved down to the exposed skin there. His hand travelled up, but not far, only to my tummy to tease me. It was a new experience, this anticipation of his touch. I inhaled his scent and that mixed with the need his hand on my bare stomach created. I wanted… I wanted to bite the soft skin of his neck. An odd compulsion but I followed it to nip at the flesh where his pulse was beat swiftly just beneath my lips.
He groaned in appreciation when my teeth scraped his skin. I moaned, letting my tongue dart out to taste him. My hands began to roam, to push away the buttons of his
white shirt beneath the suit jacket and sought out the hard, silky flesh beneath. His skin was so hot, so fucking smooth.
I moaned softly at his throat when I felt his muscled chest and sighed in total delight when I felt his muscled back. This was a man that took care of himself. He moved back enough to remove the barriers to my hands but came back quickly, his hands at the top of my head to hold my face still.
“Why the hell have you been hiding from me all of these years, June? You’re amazing.”
“I didn’t—I never thought you and I…” I shook my head. “I’m not adventurous. I’m not brave. I don’t even have any real friends.” I looked away. “God, I even had to find somebody to take Oscar for a week while I was gone, and he was happy to leave. Happy! I bore my own cat and that’s not easily done.”
Tiago smiled softly and shook his head. “I always knew there was somebody interesting behind those shields you wear for glasses. I just didn’t know how to bring you out of your shell.”
“Wait, what?” I blinked, easing my head back against the hard pillow to look at his whole face.
“I always wondered about you, over there in the corner of my bar. I wanted to know your story, but you were so… unapproachable. Those books you always held out like armor, the way you’d never talk to anybody else. Just read and sip your wine. I thought you wouldn’t be interested in conversation. I figured you were like those books of yours with no covers; obviously something interesting enough to read but hidden away from prying eyes.”
“You noticed me?” I heard the tremor and squeak in my voice and cringed.
But Tiago’s eyes held mine, full of fire and heat as he moved against me.
“Yeah, for a long time now. I would sometimes catch glimpses of your eyes when your glasses slid down your nose while you read, and I’d have to think about my bills just to calm the hell down. Those eyes of yours have always been a temptation.”
Fire flashed behind his eyes.
“You’ve always been my temptation, June.”
“Really?” I breathed the word out.
