by Ames, Ilsa
“You’re mine, June. Only mine.” He growled the words with one final thrust before he emptied into me, and I let go. I cried out as the orgasm took us both, him filling me over and over again as the shuddering climax tumbled through me.
I don’t know what the crowd’s response was because all I could hear was his gasps as he let go, all I could feel was him surrounding me, all I could see was his face.
I was in a whole lot of trouble, I decided in that moment. I was in love with Tiago, I’d always loved him really.
…Now I knew it for sure.
He finished and helped me up from the desk. We left the place quickly, a blush red on my face and a giggle on my lips as we ran for the car. I was quiet for the drive, my heart racing. I knew going to that place had been about letting go and having a crazy, uninhibited experience. But it’d given me more than that. It’d given me a lot more to think about than I ever would have thought.
Because suddenly, I had to think what it meant that I was in love with the man I’d fake-married for money.
His father had played a very cruel joke on him, to teach him a lesson, I expected, but it was still a cruel joke. I didn’t want to be a part of that joke. I wanted to be the one that eased the pain his father still caused him.
Back at home, I went to him in our bed and crawled up his body. I didn’t want sex, I wanted to offer him comfort.
“Tonight was…” I stroked his chest as he held me to him.
“Tonight was wild, but it’s only something I’d do if I knew you wanted it. I only want you, June. Nothing more.” I could hear his heartbeat, strong and sure in his chest. “Strange isn’t it? My father did this as a way to beat me, to see me fail one more time. I’m not sure that’s going to happen though, do you?”
I felt my heart thud to a stop. He thought we could make this work? My heart pumped again, fast and hard. “I think we might be able to beat him at his own game.”
I had my eyes closed, my cheek still pressed to his chest, and heard a rumble of laughter. “What would have really beat him was to walk away from it, but Layla needed me to try.”
He sighed and went quiet. And when I looked up, his eyes were right on mine.
“You know this is more than just sex, don’t you?”
I swallowed, my tongue wetting my lips as I held his gaze, almost too scared to blink. Like if I did, the moment would fade away.
“You’re more than just sex to me, June,” he growled, his arms tightening around me. “I don’t… I never expected anything, but with you, it’s like a part of me opens up that I’ve kept locked down.”
He slowly shook his head. “What’ve you done to me, angel?”
“Me?” I breathed.
“You know I’m crazy about you, right?”
My heart flip flopped as I froze. Slowly, I lifted my head to look up at him. “Are you saying you want to make this real?”
“I don’t think we can make it any more real than a wedding, babe, but yeah. I want to be a real husband to you. I want to know about your past, I want to know about your family, all the things you hide away. I want to know the bad and the good.”
“I don’t think anybody’s ready to know any of that.” I settled back on his chest, I didn’t want to talk about any of that.
“I do, June. Those parts of your life helped to make you, and I want to know about them. Don’t shut me out.”
I thought about his words and decided that maybe he was right. I needed to be honest, to spill it all, if we were going to make this work. I didn’t like my history, though, or that my parents had been and still were felons. I didn’t want people to know about that aspect of my life. That didn’t mean I could hide it all from him though.
“Where do I begin?” I said dryly. “What do you want to know first?”
“Where are your parents?” He asked, and I moved from laying across his chest to sit cross-legged beside him, my hands in my lap.
I flicked at the acrylic nails on my right hand with the left, a distraction. “My mother is in prison in Nevada, my father is dead. He died of a drug overdose. Mom was trafficking the drugs dad overdosed on.”
“Fucking hell,” he said sharply, his hands taking mine and tightening like he was physically shielding me from something. But I couldn’t take the pity in his voice and kept my eyes down as tears stung my eyes.
“I spent most of my early life living with distant family or neighbors who’d take me while they were in prison. We moved every single time one of them would get out of prison long enough to owe rent. I went to so many different schools I lost track, and by the time I graduated high school, dad was dead, and mom was back in prison.”
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, angel,” he said quietly.
“That’s the truth of it all. That was my life. I spent more time dirty and with lice in my hair than most kids spend outside playing. I was bullied, made fun of, and told that I’d never be loved by anyone good because I was too dirty to be loved by good, clean people. That’s why I chose the life I did. That’s why I worked so hard to get out of that cycle. That’s why I work so hard for the kids in my programs. I know what they’ve all been through, Tiago.”
He brushed the tears from my face and pulled me close. The hard part was over, the part where I admitted what my childhood had been like, what kind of stock I came from. Now, I just had to wait to find out if he still wanted to be with someone like me.
11
Tiago
I watched my wife in the kitchen as she prepared dinner for us. I’d hired more staff to take my place at the bar so I’d have more time to spend with her, and we normally made dinner together when I came home. But tonight, she was making a vegetable soup that she didn’t want any help with. It was a secret recipe she’d created, she said, and she looked so pleased about it all that I decided to sit back and watch her.
She continued to amaze me. Her strength, perseverance, and intelligence had got her through a childhood I simply couldn’t fathom. She’d lived through things, seen things, that no child should ever have to. She could have become a criminal herself, or become cynical, or jaded. But instead, somehow, she’d turned all of that anger and pain around to become so much more. She’d overcome her past and created a future from it.
I think I might really love this woman.
I’d pondered it once or twice already, but now? Now I was almost positive. I wanted a future with her, something I’ve never wanted with anyone else, and that more than anything told me what I was feeling was real. She sure as hell wasn’t just a fling, that’s for sure. Yeah, she made my balls ache every hour with the need to take her all over again—to feel her body tremble for me as she came screaming my name.
But it was more than that, and I knew it. She was the woman I’d waited my whole life to meet, and she’d sat in my bar for years before I’d discovered her. I felt like an idiot, or an asshole about it all, really. I hadn’t even known I needed her, but now, I don’t think I could ever live without her.
And then the words came out before I could do a single thing to stop them.
“So, think we should start talking about really trying for that baby?”
The question had popped into my head as I watched her taste her soup with a pleased smile. Bliss, that smile said, pure bliss. But the second it tumbled out, I wished I’d waited. Or fuck, just not said it at all.
“What?” She turned, blinking rapidly as she tilted her head at me and put her spoon down.
Well, shit. Thanks, mouth.
Hell, we were fucking like bunnies, and we sure as hell weren’t using condoms or anything. But, I knew these things didn’t always just “happen”. I knew sometimes you had to time things right and all that.
I knew—we both knew—that eventually we’d have to discuss it. After all, a child was one of the biggest points of the inheritance, and our entire reason for getting together in the first place, even if what we had now together was so much more than just a contract.
June smiled,
looking down. “I know, we can’t not talk about it forever. I know we have to have one on the way by the end of the year for the lawyers.”
I shrugged, grinning hungrily at her. “Fuck the lawyers. I was just thinking of how gorgeous you’d look pregnant and heavy with our baby.” I groaned, my cock hardening quickly. “Actually, I think the soup might have to wait.”
June giggled. “No way, mister. This soup is too wonderful to put off eating.” She winked at me. “We can do baby making after.” She the lid back onto the pot. “Another minute and it’ll be done. Can you get the table set, please?”
Her smile made my toes curl in my work boots, and I stood up to get the bowls and tableware we’d chosen together from the cabinet. We’d decorated and filled the house together, as a team, and that had been the first time I’d ever done anything like that.
After the way I was raised, I’d never been able to commit to a woman. I’d planned to be a bachelor, and childless, my entire life. I didn’t want to put another soul through what I’d been through and if that meant I was alone most of the time, then that was fine by me. She’d changed all of that in a short amount of time.
“How was your day, by the way?” I asked her and sat back down in my chair as she brought the pot of soup to the table.
“It was good. I had another intake, a twelve-year-old whose mother just went to prison for life, and no known father. She was… well, she was so lost. I remember that feeling,” she muttered dryly. She took the chair beside me and filled my bowl.
“It must be hard for you.” I waited for the soup to cool a little and took a slice of the bread she’d made to go with it. “But I hope it’s also rewarding at the same time.”
“Oh, it is. I mean it would have to be or I’d have burnt out years ago. Some of them we can’t save, some of them we can. It’s not just about what we provide for them though, or the alternatives to the choices they’re bound to make and access to more services. It’s about them knowing they have somewhere to turn to. That was the hardest part for me, I had no idea who or where to go. I didn’t want to end up in the foster system and did my best not to. I’d heard the horror stories.” She didn’t elaborate on that, and I wasn’t about to push her.
It wasn’t often that she’d talk so openly about her past, or her work, so I let her go at her own pace. She really was incredible, and I smiled as I took the first bite of dinner
Shit.
Asparagus. I’m not even sure I could describe how much I hated the taste, smell, whatever of that vile vegetable.
June watched me eat, smiling.
“Like it?”
“Oh, yeah,” I nodded eagerly. Fuck it. Asparagus or not, you don’t criticize a woman’s food, not if you want her to ever cook for you again. Even I knew that. “Asparagus, huh?”
“Oh my God, I love it,” she closed her eyes, savoring a bite. “Don’t you?”
She had such a hopeful look on her face when she opened her eyes that I couldn’t tell her the truth.
“Oh, totally,” I smiled as hard as I could as I shoveled more into my mouth, trying not to taste it, and then took a long drink of my beer.
June cocked a brow, giving me an odd look. “Okay, what’s up.”
“Huh?”
I choked down more asparagus, smiling.
“Why are you eating it like that?” She had a twisted smile on her lips and I knew she didn’t want to laugh.
“Because it’s so good?”
Her left eyebrow twitched up over her eye and I put the spoon down.
“Alright, shit, you’ve got me.” I laughed. “I actually hate asparagus. I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Instead of anger or hurt, June laughed. The sound was so musical as the giggle bubbled from her throat. “Baby, you don’t have to eat something you don’t like for me! If you don’t like it, just say so.”
“Yeah, but you’ve been so excited about making it, I didn’t want to upset you.”
“Hey, you promised baby-making activities later.” She grinned at me. “Believe me, nothing can hurt my feelings when I know that.” She gave me a smile that went straight to my cock, rather than my toes, full of forbidden promise and love.
Fuck, I really am a goner over this girl.
I started to spoon more of the food into my mouth. Whether I liked asparagus or not, I was about to need my strength. I didn’t taste a bit of it as she ate her own portion, my lips glued to the way her lips sealed around the spoon.
Fuck, how could that be sexy? Full, rosy lips closed around the metal, just the way they closed around my…
Eat, buddy. Eat and then you can drag her into bed and show her how much you want her.
I forced my way onto other thoughts, thoughts about Layla and how she was doing, and what it would be like when June and I had our own child. The nights out would be over, and we’d both be so strung out we probably wouldn’t want to even be in the same room with each other once a baby came, but I wanted that. I wanted it with her.
My past was strung together with temporary, fleeting one-night stands and women that’d never remotely interested me. But June changed it all. I wanted her to be my lover every night of my life.
I took her to bed and she showed me how much she appreciated the fact that I ate her soup. I couldn’t sleep though, I had too much on my mind. I went to the room we used as an office and turned on the computer. I went through the emails I hadn’t answer earlier in the day and found one from Tim and Ella. They’d taken little Layla to Canada and she was scheduled for surgery soon. They’d sent me photos of my goddaughter, sweet little pictures of her in poses around a city park.
I could see hope in all of their faces now. Hope that had not been there before. I’d put that on their faces with a sacrifice I hadn’t wanted to make. As it turns out, my father’s obstinate wish to prove to me one last time that I was worthless was backfiring. He was showing me just how right I was.
“Tiago? What’s wrong baby?” June came into the office and curled into my lap after I pushed the chair out for her to come to me.
“Nothing’s wrong, babe. Just amazed, that’s all.”
“By what?” She asked sleepily, her hot breath on my neck. It was a sensation that comforted me, though, reassurance that she was real.
I held her close, inhaled the smell of her shampoo, her perfume, and her skin. She was the most delicious thing I’ve ever smelled.
“You, me, us. The way this has all turned out. It’s amazing. Look at these pictures of Layla and her family. We did that. And in a few months, once she’s recovered from her surgery, she’ll have a normal life.” I actually felt emotion churn in my chest and hardened my jaw.
“You’ve done good, baby. She’s lucky to have you. I’m lucky to have you.” Her words were mere whispers as she fell asleep in my arms. I let her sleep there, satisfied with the world.
My dad had been a dick, and he proved that even after he was dead. He didn’t care about me, not really. He’d only cared about himself and his image. I hadn’t been the thug he wanted me to be, though I wasn’t a weak man. I’d been in my share of bar fights and had a few narrow escapes from the law myself over the years, but I wasn’t the criminal my father was.
June started to snore against my neck and I sat up to carry her into our bedroom. I put her in bed, and she turned away, asleep again immediately. I walked down to the room we’d chosen to leave empty. The room was supposed to be a nursery, when the time came. There was no furniture in the room, nothing at all in the room, but I could see it, I could picture it in my mind.
June in here with our baby in her arms, in a rocking chair, soothing our little one back to sleep in the glow from a soft light. I’d never wanted that, but now I wanted it more than anything. Marriage had made Tim and Ella happy, and I’d thought they were saps that fell for the propaganda.
They weren’t though, they’d found their mates, and that had made them complete. I’d thought marriage was for idiots that couldn’t stand
their own company, but as I stared into that room, I knew I’d been wrong. This was what our life was supposed to be.
I turned off the light and went into the bedroom to pull my wife close. I flattened my hand over her stomach and wondered if we’d started the process already. Had the tiny changes that needed to take place to create a life started already? My heart clenched in my chest and a smile spread over my face, despite the darkness. Happiness didn’t need a witness, after all, it just needed to be.
I fell asleep with her in my arms, my mind settled at last. We might not have said “I love you” yet, but it would come. I knew it would.
12
June
“Negative.” I murmured the word quietly from the bathroom of our house. I tapped at my teeth with an acrylic nail, my eyes glued to the white plastic stick with two windows. “Negative, again.”
I closed my eyes and sank onto the edge of the bathtub. Tears filled my eyes and I felt a sob as it formed somewhere in my chest. Three months we’d tried, and three months we’d failed. Something wasn’t right.
My shoulders sank, and I covered my mouth with my hands. It was supposed to be the simplest thing in the world. You have sex, you make a baby, off you go into happily ever after. Nobody ever said the happily ever after part might not be so easy because you couldn’t make a baby.
I knew there shouldn’t be a problem. I’d visited the doctor to make sure everything was working as soon as we’d come back from the honeymoon, so that wasn’t the problem. We should have been happy in the arms of procreation and vomiting, but we weren’t. So, what was wrong?
The doctor told me I needed to relax and let nature take its course when I’d gone back last month and hadn’t been pregnant. But it was hard to relax when I knew we had that condition on Tiago’s inheritance to meet.
