by D. J. Manly
Chase smirked. He felt a certain sense of victory as he observed this sudden vulnerability. “Want to hit me, Jordon, or you want to admit that you got off on that kiss?”
“Oh you’re good at what you do,” he whispered, meeting Chase’s eyes.
“Yes,” Chase said back, taking a step closer. “I’m good, but you’re good yourself. You know just how to make me want you, playing the elusive cool Mr. Nash.”
Jordon looked taken aback suddenly. He said nothing.
“I want you, tonight,” Chase told him. “It’s been a long time since I really wanted someone for the sake of wanting them. Let me send Rico home.” When he said nothing, Chase came over and placed his hand on his chest, and met his eyes. “I promise, you won’t regret it. No strings, no payment, nothing, just you and me. One night.”
He nodded. “I’ll wait for you in my room.”
Chase smiled at him and then went to inform Rico that his services were no longer required.
* * * *
After Rico finally left, Chase walked down the hallway toward Cassidy’s old room. Several times he went to knock, then put his hand down and walked away. He was shaking like a leaf. It didn’t make any sense. He was going to have sex with a man, a beautiful man, but he’d had a lot of beautiful men in his life. It was sex, just the two of them, no spectators, no directions, just…Jordon Nash. What in hell was it about him that made him feel so nervous, his stomach full of butterflies.
Finally, when he was halfway down the hall again, he heard a door creak open. He turned around to see Jordon Nash standing in the door. He was wearing a short green silk robe, his hair hanging down in his face. “Well,” he said, “are you coming or…?”
Chase began walking down the hallway again. When he reached the door, he couldn’t speak. Jordon opened it wider and stood aside so that he could go in. Chase closed the door behind him.
The lamp was lit beside the bed, bathing the room in a soft clear light. Chase cleared his throat, glancing at Jordon who stood a little uncertainly to the side of the bed. “God, you’re so beautiful,” Chase whispered, and it was true.
Jordon laughed a little. “Never thought of myself as beautiful,” he said.
“In a very masculine sort of way,” Chase replied. “Can you…you…ah…take the robe off?” God that sounded desperate.
Jordon shrugged. “Sure,” he said, undoing the belt and letting the robe fall off his broad shoulders.
Chase sucked in some breath. “Jesus Christ,” he said. His body was an artist’s dream. A series of full, hard, sculptured muscles defined his pecs, his biceps, his triceps, his stomach, his thighs, not the mention the swell of ass he could see if he moved his head to the side. His cock was at least seven inches with a beautiful thick shaft and helmet shaped head. The balls were large, and perfectly shaped. The sight of him standing there like that made Chase’s body hum in anticipation.
Jordon gave him an almost shy smile. “Well, are you going to stand there gawking at me all night, or are you going to…?”
Chase narrowed the distance between them in three strides. His hands were in the soft dark blond hair before Jordon could say another word. Chase kissed him deeply. His hands settled on his shoulders, then crept down his biceps before winding around his back and drawing him closer.
The t-shirt and jeans Chase was wearing felt almost painful suddenly and he longed to feel Jordon’s hard naked body against his. Jordon’s hands were pulling the t-shirt out of his pants now. Chase found the strength to separate himself from Jordon’s body long enough so that Jordon could pull his t-shirt over his head.
Jordon threw the t-shirt aside and went right to work undoing Chase’s jeans. He pulled them down over Chase’s naked hips and let them fall around his feet. Chase stepped out of them, then immediately pulled Jordon back into his arms. He made love to his mouth for a few minutes, then with an urgent cry, he turned him around and pressed him against the wall. He let his hands move down over the smooth muscles of his back, his eyes on his incredible round hard ass. He fell on his knees, parting the firm cheeks with his hands and began to move the tip of his tongue around his tight entrance. As he did, he wrapped one arm around his upper thighs, forcing him to bend his knees some, and thrust his hips out. His other hand found his cock, hard, ready, with a smooth rounded tip which was already sticky with pre-cum. He wrapped his fist around it and gently fondled it as he aggressively stabbed his ass hole with his tongue.
Jordon was making soft sounds of pleasure in his throat. Chase turned him around abruptly and licked the length of his cock. Jordon placed his hands on Chase’s head. He looked down at him, meeting his eyes. “Put it in your mouth,” he breathed.
Chase’s tongue darted out and licked the length of his shaft again, then swirled his tongue around the head, dipping it into the tiny hole on top.
Jordon urged his head forward and Chase took Jordon’s cock in his mouth. As the cock sunk deeper into his mouth, inch by inch, Chase suddenly felt as if he were tasting heaven. He inched his neck back and took it deeper into his throat. Jordon’s fingers tightened in his hair. Some guys were really vocal, and when he was sucking and licking their cocks the way he was doing to Jordon right now, they would be moaning and groaning. But Jordon was silent. He indicated his pleasure through the motions of his body, rather than through his lungs, and it was driving Chase out of his mind. Jordon’s entire body was trembling with passion, his hips twisting and moving erratically. His head slammed back against the wall, and still there was no sound coming from his lips. Chase doubled his efforts, his own cock so hard, it was near to bursting. He felt his hands shake as he dug his fingers into Jordon’s delectable ass.
Jordon did let out the faintest of groans now, his cock shuddering inside Chase’s mouth. God, he wanted that ass. He wanted to fuck him. Winding his tongue around the shaft again, he grabbed the base of Jordon’s cock and released it from his aching jaw. He lay back on the floor in front of him, legs spread.
“Why…why did you stop?” Jordon breathed, lifting his head off the wall.
“I want to fuck you,” Chase pleaded, his eyes meeting his. “I want to fuck that beautiful ass of yours.”
Jordon walked over to the bed and sat down. He opened the side table drawer and took out some lube and a condom. Chase pushed himself off the floor. He came over to the bed and picked up the lube. Jordon turned over.
Chase swallowed, running his hand down Jordon’s muscular back and to his perfect ass. He spread some lube on his hand and then got onto the bed on his knees. As Chase began to spread the lube up inside of him, Jordon rose onto his knees. Chase hastily put on the condom, and then wrapped his arms around Jordon’s waist. His cock met with resistance at first, then began its gradual decent into Jordon’s incredible ass. The only sounds in the room were their collective breathing, and Chase’s cries as he began to thrust harder and deeper inside of Jordon. Jordon came when Chase reached under him and began to jerk off his cock, Chase came seconds later, his hand covered with Jordon’s cream.
Chase rolled over onto his back and took a few minutes to recover. The room seemed to spin. Everything seemed surreal suddenly. His cock was empty and yet he’d never felt so full. Jordon turned over on his side, and laid there watching him for a minute. He could feel his eyes on him, then his hand as he reached over and moved it over Chase’s damp chest.
“You don’t make a sound when you come,” Chase breathed into the stillness of the room.
Jordon smiled. “Did you want me to? It doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it.”
“No,” Chase replied. “It’s not necessary. Your body talks for you. I like that.”
“You do, do you?” He asked, running a thumb over one of Chase’s nipples. “What else do you like, Chase?”
He was teasing him now, leaning over him, his lips moving over his chest and settling at one of his nipples. His other hand was on Chase’s cock now, gently lifting it and tugging on it.
Chase began to have that
feeling again, the one where he thought he’d lose his mind. The feelings were intense, sharp. When Jordon moved his lips down to his cock, Chase dug his fingers into the mattress, his head into the pillow. His hips bucked upward straining to enter Jordon’s luscious mouth. Intense. He licked his lips. “Baby,” he whispered. Jordon was sucking his cock, fondling his balls at the same time, then moving his fingers down underneath to push up inside of him. He cried out something incoherent. Jordon positioned himself between his thighs and released his cock. He ran his hands over Chase’s calves then began to lift his legs over his shoulders.
Chase froze. “What are you…?”
“I want you,” Jordon whispered. “I want to be inside of you, Chase, I want to see your face when you come. I want to…
“No,” Chase grunted, pulling his legs out of Jordon’s hold. He swung his legs over the side of the bed.
Jordon sat back on the bed. “I…I mean…I…”
“It’s just that…” Chase began. “I don’t want to, that’s all,” he said briskly. Why in the hell was he saying that, when he could think of nothing else he’d want more at this moment than for Jordon to be inside of him?
There was silence. Jordon nodded and got off the bed. Finally Jordon said, “some guys don’t like it. I guess you must have to specify that to your clients before…”
Chase got up off the bed. “It’s not that. I’ve done it before lots of times. I just don’t…”
“Want to do it with me,” Jordon finished the sentence for him. There was no anger in his voice.
Chase couldn’t look at him. No, goddamn it, he wanted to say. You make me feel too much. I’d be lost with you inside me. I don’t want to fall in love with you. A man like you would not only break my heart, you’d destroy it. “Something like that,” he said. “Of course since I’m essentially being paid for sex, you could insist.”
Jordon’s voice sounded brittle now in the reply. “I fuck for pleasure, Chase. I wouldn’t want to be inside any guy who didn’t want me there, even if he was a paid whore.”
“Yeah, well…” Chase swallowed. Suddenly he had to get to hell out of this room. “Guess, I’ll go to bed,” he said, standing up and quickly leaving the room. He didn’t bother picking up his clothes.
Chapter Five
When Chase finally accepted the fact, that no matter what he did, he wasn’t going to be able to sleep, he rose in the early pre-dawn, took one of Amanda’s cars, and drove to the cemetery to visit Cassidy’s grave. They hadn’t known each other very long, but it was amazing how close he felt to him. He was alone really, with no one, except Amanda. All the friends and contacts he’d made at school were lost. He had basically cut them off after Cassidy died. His mother, well…hah…she made it clear to him that she hated him when she discovered that her new husband liked him better than her. He often wondered how she lived with herself. No matter, life moved on. His had.
Chase walked over to the grave and sat down on the grass in front of it. “Hi, Cass,” he said softly, “how ya doin’? I hope you’re doing better than me, pal. I was feeling better these last few days probably because Jordon has been distracting me, making me pissed off more than anything. Oh, did I tell you about Jordon? Amanda’s half brother, you’d like him, you’d be drooling all over him, but he doesn’t like me. He wishes I’d leave because he thinks Amanda needs to change her life and shit. Well, maybe she does. She’s as scared as I am.”
He bowed his head, swallowing hot tears. “It’s not fair,” he said, doubling up his fists and pressing them into the earth. “Not fair that you’re dead and I can fall in love with…” He stood up. “I’m not in love with him, and he’s not in love with me. He thinks of me as a whore, and well…I am a whore.” A teardrop fell from his eye and hit the grass. “I don’t why I did what I did last night. I should have never touched him, Cass, cause now I want to go on touching him. But I didn’t let him…you know…it’s the ultimate possession, isn’t it? He would have made me his tonight, my body, my mind, my…heart.” He closed his eyes. “I’m in this hole Cass, and I can’t climb out no matter how I try, and Amanda is down there with me. Both of us, afraid to love, not knowing how, two hurt little children. But I’m a fighter Cass, really I am. My step dad taught me how to box, remember and well…” he started to laugh, “he came to regret that, the old bastard. That night he came to my room and tried to stick his cock up my ass, I plowed him Cass, I knocked him across the room, and my mother…well…she didn’t believe me even if it was all in front of her eyes. She couldn’t, she couldn’t bear it. I wanted to change my life, and Cass, maybe it would have been you and me but now…I can’t anymore. I don’t deserve to…” He started to cry in earnest, all alone in the dawn, sobbing over the grave of a guy that no one else cared about except for him.
Finally, Chase got back into the car and drove back to the house. He sat in the car for a long time. Things were more complicated now, but not impossible. Jordon was not in his future. Jordon would never love a guy like him, and he wasn’t at all ready to take Jordon on. Amanda didn’t need to know anything about what happened between them. With a sigh, Chase got out of the car. He needed to talk to Jordon, to put this all behind them, and to find some way to peacefully co-exist.
* * * *
Chase managed to get a few hours sleep, then he went downstairs in search of some food. Jordon was sitting at the dining room table eating lunch. Chase glanced at him hesitantly. “We need to talk,” he said.
“Oh yes, about what?” He said, looking up.
One of the servants came around the table now and poured Chase some coffee. “Would you like some lunch, sir?” she asked.
“Toast,” he said, “thanks.”
Jordon was dressed in a light summer suit. It was charcoal grey and worked well with his blue eyes. He ate a few mouthfuls of what looked like tuna salad and then paused, glancing at Chase who sat quietly across from him. “You look like shit,” he said.
“Thanks. I didn’t sleep much last night.”
Jordon didn’t comment.
“What happened last night…I…” Chase began.
“Let’s ah…not go there, Chase,” Jordon replied coolly.
“I think it’s better that Amanda doesn’t know and…”
“She won’t hear a word from me,” Jordon said.
“Can we try and…”
“Whatever,” he said.
“It’s just that what happened last night…” Chase began.
Jordon stood up abruptly, and pushed back his chair. “Nothing happened last night as far I’m concerned, now let’s fucking stop talking about it, okay?”
The servant who was bringing in Chase’s toast stopped dead in her tracks. The anger in Jordon’s voice was profound. Chase sucked in some breath. Nothing. What had happened last night between them was nothing. Chase nodded. No words came out of his mouth. He watched Jordon leave the dining room. A few seconds later, he heard the front door slam, and a car engine start. Chase lowered his head, and bit into his bottom lip.
* * * *
Amanda called that afternoon around four o’clock. She told Chase it was around midnight in London. “Are you tired?” Chase asked her.
“A little. Suffering from jet lag mostly. Look Hon, I’m going to be about a week. It’s a mess here, unfortunately, and I have to wait for some legal documents.”
Chase sighed inwardly.
“Where’s Jordon?”
“I don’t know. He left here at noon in his suit and…”
“Oh yes, I know, they’re finalizing the work on the new race car. He must be very excited. You know, we’ve been getting along so much better lately. I think with Dad out of the picture…well… about the other night, he really didn’t mean to bust in on us. It was an emergency and…”
“I know that,” Chase said.
“He’ll come around where you’re concerned, darling. Who couldn’t help but love you.”
Chase didn’t reply.
“Chase, are
you feeling better? Are you sleeping?”
“I’m okay.”
“Why don’t you go and get a massage, go to a concert, take a few days for yourself while I’m gone. You have plenty of money in your account? If not, I can wire…”
“I’m fine, Amanda. I went to see Cass today.”
She sighed. “Baby, I wished you’d stop going to the cemetery so often.”
“I don’t go often,” he said defensively, “not as much as I used to.”
There was a silence.
“Why don’t you go and get some sleep. I’ll see you in a few days.”
“Okay, let Jordon know I won’t be home for a bit.”
“Okay, nite, Mandy.”
“Goodnight, love.”
* * * *
Chase went out for a walk and ended up eating a hamburger at some greasy spoon. He decided to take Amanda’s advice, and so he went to see a movie, some action flick in the gay village. The theatre was filled with couples, cuddled together, holding hands. Chase found himself distracted. Halfway through the movie, he closed his eyes. Suddenly Jordon was sitting next to him, whispering in his ear, grabbing for his hand, offering him some of his popcorn. They didn’t wait for the end of the movie. Come home with me, Chase…I want to fuck you…I want to be inside you…we know how it ends anyway…Chase, I love you…
Chase’s eyes snapped open. The credits were playing, people were leaving. Chase shook himself and got up out of his seat. He walked to his car, and drove home. When he slipped his key into the front door, and walked into the hallway, he heard laughter. It was definitely a man’s, and not Jordon’s. He walked deeper into the hall and then saw Jordon with another man sitting on the sofa. The other man, with a sleek bald head and a muscular frame was kissing Jordon on the neck. They were laughing together, frolicking around on the sofa. Chase bumped into the hall table, knocking it sideways. The noise was enough to cause both men to look up.
